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Marry, Leave Or Wait

Christian since February. 9 year unmarried relationship with person who is still non-believer, 2 kids. Stay and wait for him to become believer? Marry even though he doesn't believe? Leave him and destroy my kids? No one scripture gives me an answer what God's will in this situation might be.

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 ---linda on 8/1/05
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You have been living against God's will for 9 years. You have to repent and make it right by not living together anymore, and then God is able to give you the desire of your heart, which if I hear you correctly is that the man you are living with will become born again, and then with God's blessing you can marry, as you should have done first. I was in the position that you are in, and that is what I had to do in order for God do work His miracle.

---Trisha on 6/2/08

Non believers don't want to deal with the shame and guilt of their sins. Nine years and two children later and your still waiting? If you had avoided his sexual advances, which God would have approved of nine years ago, he would probably be just a memory today. You use the children as an excuse to stay. If you leave know that The Lord is with you and your children.
---Ken on 5/30/08

Hi! Please read 1 Peter 3:1-6. You just might find answer to your question. God bless!
---Jo on 5/30/08

Matt 6:33 "seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." The only Bible that most people read is "you," so if you have given your life to Christ and find yourself in the same mess you were in before Feb., as a baby saint, you need more maturity in the Lord before you make a lifetime commitment of marriage.
---StDaphne on 4/30/07

I do not want you to get depress, Jesus came so you can enjoy your life. Here is what I found>>> One of the Ten Commandments forbids Adultery. Also includes incest and fornication. Do not be unequally yoked together is also scripture. This also includes relationships of any kind. These may help: Prov. 6:32, John 8:3, and Gal.5:19. If I may add>>>Spiritual adultery, is also forbidden in the Ten Commandments. [Love from God to someone or something else].
---catherine on 4/22/07

I would get down on my knees and pray. I would fast until I got an answer from God. God said he would save your household. I would have faith in God to save him, if you don't have faith in God and leave this man, it may take longer for him to get saved. I would seek God, and only him can direct you in the right path.
---Rebecca_D on 4/22/07

Linda, I don't like to give advice but I just to say this, if he has no plans of getting to know Jesus (Your Savior) then what is the point of the relationship? The bible says, you are a new creature in Christ, old things are passed away and behold ALL things are made new. Being in an unequally yoked relationship is definitely a hindrance. Think about it!!!
---Chosen on 8/8/05

STAY IN SIN OR LEAVE? That's a no brainer!
---Sally on 8/5/05

Does he want to get married? "sometimes you make the RIGHT decision and sometimes you make the decision RIGHT"! You have children together.This is a "marriage"just as Adam and Eve's was.Now make it legal."We didn't know any better.When we knew better,we did better." Make it right in God and man's eyes...unless he's not good to you/children.Don't live in abuse.Linda3957
---lovable_linda on 8/4/05

Linda, the devil is very cunning the way he puts us in deception. It's quite simple, you are NOT married in Gods eyes, therefore living in sin - sin will cloud your judgement and thinking, stop living with him, continue to see him and keep praying. Remove the "intimacy" of living together and things will become clearer. He is the father of your children that's important, but you have to do what God desires, and he desires you to not sin. Be bold sister Linda.
---Kate on 8/3/05

3. You will also have to think about the Christian you would marry if you left this guy. How you would get him in a mess too. you have to think about him too, not just you. Make a stand for God and trust in Him. Let the sin end here. That is my advice sister. We all have sin before and many have come to Christ because of our problems. God touches our hearts and we search for Him for help.
---lupe2618 on 8/3/05

2. Trust in the Lord now. Let Him take care of matters now that you are a Christian. Don't continue with your past. Put it behind you. Your husband might never come to Christ. But he might. How long did it take you to come to Christ? let him have a chance now because maybe through your actions, God will use you as the instrument to his salvation. We don't know but God does. Here is where our faith comes in.
---lupe2618 on 8/3/05

Linda, let me give you some advice. This is only my opinion. The reason you are in a mess right now is because of sin. This is the concequence of it. Now that you are a Christian and want to do right, if you leave this man and find someone else you are only multipying your sins, You will be with another man when you are right now with one. You will have to face more concequences later again, and again. You know what is right to do already, correct the sin you are in, and make things right with God.
---lupe2618 on 8/3/05

I met with both Pastors at my church they disagree with each other on if I am already married. That's why I am approaching the masses. I don't feel that I am married. It is hard to believe alone. I am thinking "no greater love does a man have than to lay down his life for his friend, if I can't lay down my desire for a christian husband for my kids what does that say about my faith. I am leaning toward marrying and praying for the rest of my life if neccessary. Thoughts?
---Linda on 8/3/05

Linda, I believe that sister Margaret has the right answer. This is hard because both of you were not believers when you met. But the way you are living now has to be corrected. It seems that you want to marry him, I believe that is the right decision for you and the kids. Let God take care of him, many will never come to Christ, but you will be right before the Lord. Margaret has said it right.
---lupe2618 on 8/3/05

Do not be unequally yoked, you will regret marrying an unbeliever as he will not take up his biblical position as spiritual head of the home, if you love him wait and pray and wait some more, there is no rush. I married a man in haste who said he was a christian but lives as a complete unbeliever and I have had nothing but pain. May God give you the answers you seek sister.
---Kate on 8/2/05

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Dear Linda, you are married in all but name to your partner, you have set up house, and had children together. Do you still love him? I think you do as you are considering marriage. Therefore, I would like to suggest that you consecrate this relationship in the eyes of God, in marriage. "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife,..." 1Cor 7:14.
I wish you God's blessings on your future.
---Margaret on 8/2/05

HOney, are you in a church you attend regularly.?Make an appt and talk with your pastor.Is your man good to you? Do you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him(even when the kids are grown?)If so I'd say marry...if you have peace about is a common law marriage already it seems,but you want to be a good Christian witness for your OWN children's sake.
---lovable_linda on 8/2/05

At this point, you've got to consider yourself already married to this man. Many states would already consider you legally married right now, whether you had anything on paper or not. This is a tradition that goes far back in common law (the basis for the legal system in all English countries). So yes, go get a marriage license by all means so that you don't create a stumblingblock for others, but remember you're only validating a relationship that already exists, not creating a new one.
---Billy on 8/2/05

There is an answer for your situation. When you were not a christian you made nonchristian decisions that put you in this situation. You have to look at this from a christian standpoint. You are not married to this man. If you stay with this man you are still living in sin. And as far as marrying him, and praying that he might receive Christ is a long shot. I was married to a nonbeliever for 32 years praying that he would come to Christ, he went to another woman. I divorced him! Mae
---Charlie_Mae on 8/2/05

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Hi Linda, the Bible says in 2 Cor. 6:14 that do not be equally yoked with sinners. Just be patient and continue praying and God is going to give your the man he created for you. Ps. 68:6 He is the one who set the solidary in family. Your case is not written off my dear. Focus unto Jesus the creator of your life. He makes things beautiful at his own time. Remember Samson who married Deliah and what happened my dear, his eyes were removed. Don't be the next victim.
---jacqu5949 on 8/2/05

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