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Youth Pastor Relations Acceptable

I'm the assistant youth director at my church and I've seen a relationship, as well as others, with the youth director (31) and a youth (16). The guardians and our pastor are ok with this, and our pastor said that it's okay, but we feel that this is wrong and we should do something. Any suggestions?

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 ---Jessica on 8/4/05
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First I do not envy you, but I feel you must find out what the law says about this situation, because we as christians must obey the laws of this land. If they cannot obey the laws of the land they are not obeying Gods laws, I was trying to find the verse relating to this, but if you look you will find what you are looking for. God bless
---Steve on 1/10/08

The bible makes it clear we are to respect the laws in our country. One of them is about having relationships with minors. As much as that law is referring to sexual relations, it is still there for a reason. At 16 we are not prepared to make decisions regarding the rest of our life! And I would also worry about that youth director, what would a 31 year old want with someone who is 16?
---Zoe on 5/10/07

I just read this and couldn't believe it.How is it that the youth director didn't see this coming?You would think that they would have done all that they could NOT to lead a CHILD down this path.Redirection would of been quite useful on their part as a youth director before things turned into a relationship.God knows their heart
---missy on 8/30/05

The word relationship is such a broad term. You need to be more specific about the "relationship". Is it sexual, if so then it is wrong. If it is not, then maybe the youth pastor needs to be told that this "relationship" doesn't look good and he needs to be more careful. If you have a problem with this situation, then you need to talk to him about it an noone else at this point. Don't start rumors that aren't true.
---Rev._Keith on 8/15/05

Go to him in love and confront the issue. By " we", do you mean other assistants? If so maybe you all can talk to him openly and together, not beat up on him, but just talk openly with one another. I can't tell you what to do after that, but if it were me I would release myself from under that authority as clearly there is something off balance here (youth pastor and senior pastor). You may be better off somewhere else.
---Katie on 8/5/05

Everyone seems to be assuming that the word relationship refers to them having sex, but Jessica doesn't actually say that this is so. Perhaps she should clarify this. I doubt it does mean sex because the pastor is ok about it, so are the guardians (does that mean the girls guardians because she has no parents?) I cannot imagine any of them condoning this if it were a sexual relationship. The age gap is huge I accept but not the first time I've heard of this happening.
---Paul on 8/5/05

As an ex-youth director, and one who has been envolved with counseling for over 33 years, I'd have to say it's wrong. A 16 year old is more infactuted with him than in love with him.. And he may have counseled her and helped her, but this is not love. It's nothing unusual for a person counseled to "fall in love" with their counselor. He may just be taking advantage of the situation. Why others are endorsing this, I'm not sure. After all, I'm only reading about one side of the story.
---WIIVV on 8/5/05

What kind of a relationship do you mean? If sexual, you already know it's wrong and so should any Christian. If no sex is involved- well, it's not a sin, or even illegal just to platonically date. I don't approve of it or think it's wise, but there are no grounds to object to it if the pastor, the parents, and the youth all find it acceptable.
---Billy on 8/5/05

Since you are the "Assistant" Youth Director that means that if the Youth Director were gone then you would have the position of Youth Director. Is that what this is all about?
---Sally on 8/5/05

You should do something. The bible says if you see your brother in the wrong, go to him, if he don't listen then take 2-3 witnesses if he still don't listen, then you have don't all you can do and it will be in God's hands. If you don't do anything about this, then you are just at fault because you did nothing. It is okay in their eyes but what about God's eyes? God has the last word. I would pray about it, and go to them all in love and tell them like it is.
---Rebecca_D on 8/4/05

Where I live, that could land the youth pastor in jail. That 16-year-old is a minor and the youth pastor is in a position of authority. This is not a right relationship.
---Annie on 8/4/05

Is this one of the examples of hormonal imbalances that goes in a male and a female that they call "Love"?
---linda6546 on 8/4/05

Pay Cesar's things to Cesar, but GOD's things to GOD. As the young one is 16, I know where I live, they allow that, by law, they allow them to have sex with whoever they want and they also allow them to drop out of school, without parents permission at 16, but parents are still responsible until they are 18 for their children. To me, this is still TOO young to make a WISE decision and the 31 year old youth director SHOULD already KNOW whose AUTHORITY he falls under.
---Colleen on 8/4/05

Contact the child hotline and let the authorities know about this situation. They should do an investigation of this matter. You can do it anonymously.
---Madison on 8/4/05

I'm glad the youth director is not at my church. He would get kicked out.
---shira_5965 on 8/4/05

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