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Husband Will Not Stop Chasing

In our 10 years of marriage my husband has chased after 2 women. One a family friend, the other an employee. Now I am seeing signs of adultery, he denys it, & won't go to counceling. I take my vows seriously & won't leave him. I've been praying. Any suggestions? melia8437

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 ---Melissa on 8/11/05
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Adultery nulls the marriage vows honey. Get out while the gettin' is good!
---zoe5647 on 11/17/07

Melissa, I hope your marriage was restored.
It's never wrong to lay ourselves on the mercy of Christ. You sound like a sweetheart to me.
---Raine on 4/26/07

Melia you have answered your own question. You said your husband has done all these things, but you won't leave him. He's obviously not concerned about how this problem effects you. Maybe you should ask yourself how long will you permit it to happen?
---Donna on 3/13/07

Yes he is. I don't want anymore replys please. It's getting out of hand. Everyone is tempted one way or another, especially in a marriage. Please just drop it now.
---Melissa on 9/5/05

reading this.. i see no signs that your husband is a born-again christian.. or a church-goer...
---guyiyae on 9/4/05

sun, he has not forced me to do it, I do it 'cause I love him.
---Melissa on 9/3/05

Melissa that sounds more like what the Egyptians did in the time of MOSES and when he led the Christians out of Egypt. The Egyptians would pick slave girls and make them dress pretty for them and then watch them. I don't know if your husband is Christian or not but that is a worldly thing to do and should not be practiced by a Christian because it might simply be vanity.
---sun on 9/2/05

WIVV, In response to what you said, I have been faithful. I have done everything he has asked of me to the best of my ability. I dress nice & wear makeup & have my hair the way he likes it everyday to look nice for him. I know I am not perfect. I have asked him if I have done or said something to make him roam, & he said no. Melissa
---Melissa on 8/17/05

Have you ever asked him "why" he is chasing after another women? (Having been raised on a farm, they use to say, "A contented cow/bull, does not leave good pasture.") You might also ask yourself, what have these other women have I don't have? You may not have done anything wrong, but what are you doing to get him back? In a marriage seminar I give, the statement is made, "Your mate will change in responce to your change." So, what can you change?
---WIVV on 8/17/05

Jeff.I wish you would talk to my husband. He is in an extra marital affair as we speak. I am not leaving him -- we are not living togethr now, but I pray God will help him see what is right. i will forgive him, but I am hurting like crazy now. Maybe it will never happen -- only God knows, but I pray. Patty
---patty5555 on 8/13/05

I'm going to jump in with a different point of view. I remember Jesus saying, whoever is without sin cast the first stone to an adulterous woman. You need proof first of all and then follow the discipline steps of the bible. If he won't quit and repent then do what you have to do. My wife forgave me for an "indescrection" and now the Lord as lead me to be completely devoted to her. It can work out. I commend you for wanting to make it work. God bless.
---Jeff on 8/12/05

My question is why would you want to stay in a marriage like that? My x did the same thing, and he was a pastor. Would preach a message, have altar calls, and then go out and be with his women. Somethings have to come to an end. A suggestion? RUN!
---anon on 8/12/05

Pray for courage for God lead to you along the right path. Despite your distress, give him space. There is nothing that hits a man more than to know that he has all the space in the world and that someone who has been rocksteady is threatening to pull out. If you love someone set him free, if he comes back, he is yours, if he does not, he never was. Very difficult to practice, but it works. Have confidence. The Lord has made you a good person to be happy and not to be hurt.
---Bernice on 8/12/05

Wish my ex had been the kind of woman that wouldn't have left me every time something "better" came along for her. Well, actually, I wish she had treated me kindly and also not looked at other guys!
---Jeffrey on 8/11/05

hi melissa,
i am really sorry for what you are going through . i have been through about the same . my hisband told me that she was a friend and i thought nothing until she started emailing him going to his job and then we separted . while apart he slept at her home . we are back together but dont trust him anymore .

just pray and god will lead to the right answer.

---karen3996 on 8/11/05

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