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My Wife Is Verbally Abusive

Why is it that all abusers are thought of as men. I am beaten verbally everyday by my wife. No slap could hurt as much as her words, how much does God intend for me to endure.

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 ---Edward on 8/12/05
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Abuse is abuse is abuse, physical or otherwise. Take all this to the Lord. Ask Him should you separate yourself from this abuse. Do you think that the Lord would want you to be abused? Remember: others will only do what you allow them to do. Perhaps separate yourself for a period of time and demand your wife to get counseling. You do not want to remain there and finally lose your temper and who knows what you might do back to her! God Bless you and give you strength and peace and answers!
---Lin on 8/24/10

Abuse is abuse is abuse, physical or otherwise. Take all this to the Lord. Ask Him should you separate yourself from this abuse. Do you think that the Lord would want you to be abused? Remember: others will only do what you allow them to do. Perhaps separate yourself for a period of time and demand your wife to get counseling. You do not want to remain there and finally lose your temper and who knows what you might do back to her! God Bless you and give you strength and peace and answers!
---Lin on 8/24/10

This blog is five years old yall LOL
---JackB on 8/24/10

I feel your pain brother my wife is abusive and belittling to me. It has gone on for many years. We seperate for a while and she asked me to come back said she would change and she did for a while up until this year it hasn't been too bad. Now that my son is grown and my daugher is ready to go to college it has started up all over again. She has so much anger in her and she thinks God has it out for her. Nothing is good enough nothing happens fast enough and if I make the tiniest mistake she screans cuses at me and calls me names. I try not to yell back but sometimes she has worn me down so much that I loose my temper and yell back.
---Bill on 8/23/10

I am a wife who has verbally abused her husband and it really hit me today. The past 6 months has been difficult in our lives and I took it upon myself to treat him like crap.I am horrified by the things I have said or done to hurt him. Unfortunately, my abuse has beaten him down so much, I know he has done something again to be unfaithful. I do blame myself this time. I know many will say it's not your fault, but it is. I pushed him so far, he broke. Now I have to pick up the pieces and show him how sorry I am every day and what a fool I have been. Husbands, if you have been a loving, faithful, attentive husband and nothing is working then you need to give your wife an ultimatum. Either they get help or you leave.
---Jennifer on 8/3/10

Hi. I too am verbally abused most days by my wife. I make $150,000 a year and it's not enough for her. She works also to support her spending but she doesn't want to. She wants a life of shopping where I provide every dime she wants, whenever she wants it. But she also want me to have the type of job where I can get our kids off to school in the morning and be home early enough to bring dinner home and them help them with their homework and put them to bed.

I can't find this type of job so she's mad at me for the lifestyle we do have, yelling and cursing me in front of our children. Please pray for me
---Greg on 7/9/10

Cindy, it was good to read that you turned to God to help you with abusive behaviour. Not many Christians do this and it is only through God that we can see changes for the better.

My now ex-wife also was abusive but she did not see God as her counsellor even though she is a Christian. Sadly she trusted worldy counsellors instead, claiming that God works through them. We went to a marriage counsellor for our difficulties but we found that he was undermining our marriage as he was attracted to her. My wife then ended our marriage and started dating the counsellor. He lost his job as a result of his unethical behaviour.
---Haz27 on 6/26/10

No matter your age, I understand. I truelly do! After some soul searching I came to the conclusion that I verbally abuse my husband. I had him so he didn't even realize it was wrong. He just figured I was a typical demanding wife. I can not begin to express the amount of pain I caused him. With the help of God I am 8 months into recovery if you can even call it that. My heart is weak and scared. God is the glue holding me together and guiding me to his own loving ways. I admire you standing up! You are not weak! You are God's creation, made in His image! You are a wonderful man and you deserve the respect and love of your wife. Please ask her to get help. She needs guidance.
---Cindy on 6/25/10

Jenny, that is the most ridiculous assertion I have ever read. Trying to pin this woman's terrible behavior on HIM is like asking an abused woman what SHE did to MAKE him hit her.

This woman need to reaffirm her devotion to Christ...and FAST. No God-fearing Christian would treat another human being like this, let alone their family.
---Daniel on 5/27/10

I've been with my wife for 14 years. She too is verbally and physically abusive. Before we were married I saw her treat her mom this way. But she said she'd never do that to me.That was a lie. Anyways I've all but given up and accepted my situation But we have a 3 year old and she screams, curses at her. I dont know what to do. I know if I try to leave her, she'd take my daughter from me through her lies and manipulation. I don't want to lose my daughter. She'd never let me see her. As far as being a christian, she led me to christ. Pretty much knows the bible inside and out. She led hundreds of people to Christ. We were youth leaders in our church for 2 years! I want to keep my marriage vow I made before God but should I keep living like this?
---john on 3/29/10

If you do this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, and she does this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, this resolves the situation.
p.s. Consider her best interest, don't uncover your wife's nakedness, but Galatians 6:1, submit to God, pray, be kind, and seek Godly counsel.
Jenny, 2/15:
If you changed the she to he in your response on 2/15, would you then send it to the many similar blogs started by women?
---Glenn on 2/18/10

How do YOU treat her? Do you SAY all of the right words while your ACTIONS tell a different story? There is a possibility that her actions could be how she copes with how YOU treat her.
---jenny on 2/15/10

Age has nothing to do with it---I know of a woman who busted out all her windows on the mans trailer house that he had to sought shelter elsewhere---In the state of Wisconisn there is a support group for men who were abused by their wives
---Birdie on 1/31/10

That's good stuff, Norma. I am pleased to hear that your self-esteem has risen tremendously and that you were able to communicate to your mother how she made you feel. Hopefully, things have worked out between you and your husband. If not, then I wish you well on your next relationship. Seeing a Christian Counselor was a wise idea. I should do the same. Maybe it will help me a great deal.
---Lewis on 1/28/10

You describe a possible chemical imbalance of the brain tissue, bipolar, which is often overused and depression. All of these are human physical problems. God can heal us by completely wiping out these problems or He may choose to use medication. Pray brother that the demons who surround her with these types of outbursts will be destroyed by God through the blood of Jesus, for the Holy Spirit to hover over her and you during this spiritual battle. Pray that the veil be lifted from her that she will seek help. In God all things are possible. Do not lose faith.
---Becky on 1/24/10

My wife suffers from anxiety, depression and anger issues. She doesn't know why she is easilly angered by me and it escalates to her calling me names which I have never done. I laid it out to her last Sunday and said that if things don't improve, leaving has crossed my mind. She cried. We went to our 1st counciling session last night. We will see. I must be happy in my life and want the marriage to work, but I will not fall on my sword. I deserve better.
---Brian on 1/22/10

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How's your love life? When a woman is dissatisfied in her relationship, her sexual needs are usually not being met. She does not feel secure,loved or wanted, so she acts out and lashes out. Sounds to me this is the problem. Or part of the problem. You need to be kinder to this lady,hug her,kiss her and try to put a little romance and love back in the relationship. She needs to be wooed by a real man. Are you that man? Blessings
---Robyn on 1/21/10

Speaking from a woman's point of view you have my sympathy. I don't think a man or woman should treat their spouse abusively. I was mentally abused not only by my husband, but my mother as well.

The state I lived in recognized "Legal Separations" and that's what I got. We got along better.

It destroyed my self-esteem and it will yours. I didn't get over my lack of self-esteem until I started going to a Christian Counselor. It took awhile but I finally got my self-esteem back. I even stood up to my mother, and, even though she didn't like it at first, she came to respect me because of it. You have to do it in a Christian manner and rely on the Lord to help you.

I pray that all will go well for you.
---Norma on 1/18/10

I feel for you, brother. I got married in 2002. She was at times verbally abusive. It got to the point where I was afraid to speak for fear that she would just go off on me. I complimented her by telling her she looked very pretty. Most women would appreciate this. She responded by saying, "I already know I look good. I don't need you telling me that." I felt hurt and pissed off.

We are divorced. I have no regrets. A marriage shouldn't feel like a death sentence. Rest assured, I have dated many women since my divorce. There is a mutual respect and I make that known at the beginning of a relationship.

You don't have to take that abuse from your wife. As long as you are cool to her, she should recipricate.
---Lewis on 1/17/10

Get out ASAP ! Log everything time and dates, witness names, etc . get a Personal Protective Order, some states a PPO will stop someone served a PPO cannot obtain a firearms permit legally. however you can ! so long as she does not counter a PPO. BTW I worked in PS and truned down running for sheriff, I have also went after a Wanted criminal( turned him in to State Highway Patrol ) and will sugguest any person you have the right to be safe also sugguest a self defense course I would advise for anyone, so what you going to do slap someone silly with your bible while someone has a choke hold ? I looked at a troublemaker straight in the eye drunk and abusive letting him know I fear no man!
---Mark on 1/17/10

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God did not create you to be a woman's punching bag and neither did he make you to be her slave. He said you should treat her as Christ treats his Church. But the Church does not beat Christ with abusive language. Never mistake Stupidity for Godliness, for God did not make you stupid. In Proverbs 21:19 he speaks on the subject to say this: It is better to live in the attic than to live with a contentious and hateful woman. If God did not put the mean spirit in her, than who did? So if the Devil lives within her, get OUT! For that is not where God is living.
---Trent on 1/16/10

we are both 45 its just she doesnt ever shut her mouth she just keeps on going
---daniel on 1/12/10

Robert, dont take this wrong, but maybe your wifes mouth was actually tghe cause of the violence in her former marriage. put a dirty mouth near an impatiance and you ghet much troubles. maybe your wife is not really aware that she abuses you verbally. and if she's a christian some good biblestuidies could help her on the way. next to that at times it is also a spiritual problem and intersession will help. whatever ghet her to a good loving pastr and ghet some counseling toghether.
---Andy on 3/16/09

My wife is verbally abusive to me. Her previous marriage was plagued with violence she was often beaten and even in front of their son . My wife often sees things I do as willful maliciosness against her when in fact often times I did not know I had done anything wrong or had had the best of intentions in doing something. She will yell and scream at me in front of our son . I have never spoken to my wife in such a tone or made such venomous attack on her. She claims to be suffering from stress, anxiety, migraine headaches, and sleeplessness all of which have been blamed on me at one time or another. She has no friends really and rarely does anything outside the home except volunteer at our son't school. All I ask is please pray for me.
---Robert on 3/8/09

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I am in just such a situation. I actually praise the Lord that He has given me the strength to endure this trial. Living with her has required that I learn to walk in the Spirit. I have held fast in patience, longsuffering, meekness, and love. It is a blessing to be able to understand and forgive the ignorance of another. She honestly does not realize that she is in the wrong. I pray continually that God open her eyes, until that day I will Hold Fast...
Take Care and God Bless
---eric on 1/21/08

In my home my wife is never beaten as she is submissive and does not question my absolute authority. She submists without question! I would say more but she says I have to get off the computer and do the dishes.
---MikeM on 11/20/07

In my first marriage, I would tell my (ex) husband that I would rather him hit me and get it over with than for him to speak to me so mean. Cause the scars on the body can heal but the harsh words in the heart is scarred for life. I am so thankful that my husband (now) isn't mean to me in anyway. He treats me like how a person ought to be treated.
---Rebecca_D on 11/20/07

"Treat her like a throughbred and she wont be a nag" My wife is a pearl of great Price. I have great patients with her female foibles, I must as putting up with me for 14 years is no picnic, poor woman.
---MikeM on 11/20/07

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Perhaps, more than you can imagine. You may even feel as if you cannot take anymore. What's the answer? Well, without God you can do nothing. So the answer is, wait on Him. Believe it or not-Problems and troubles builds godly character. May God bless you.++
---catherine on 11/20/07

I find that if I viewed my wife as Christ views His Church, I would have to forgive and not be so "controlled" by it unless it becomes physical - then it's time to leave. Words are words and I give them power to control me if I choose. I don't have to "dance the dance of death" but just not take it personally. Time outs are great, too. You may want to do an internet search on that.
---John on 11/20/07

ephesians 6 12-13For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.It is the spirits in her that is attacting you. you need to get in your secret place and Pray every morning.say I refuse to be spoke that way what you tolerate you can't change.
---denise on 9/13/07

(Cont'd)I found what works to stop the abuse: Pray for abuser and yourself. When verbal abuse starts don't engage abuser any further. State your refusal to be in their presence until they stop. If they don't stop, walk out of room. I would email or write notes to my friend but wouldn't talk to him until he stopped. He did stop and now we talk with no reoccurrance of the abuse. This abuser needs counseling but until the roots are uncovered and healed, a behavioral approach is needed to stop the misery. GB
---Ginette_Beauchamp on 9/13/07

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I'm a professional counselor, also have a male friend who has been verbally abusive to me this past year. He's "saved" and is a deeply spiritual man otherwise. No one should have be abused for any reason. It doesn't change them. Just gives to both partners. Abuse is often learned from childhood. It's the abuser's mask for a power play. As long as the abuser feels free to abuse, they can get a false sense of empowerment. The rage is real, it's just directed at the wrong source. Continued....
---Ginette_Beauchamp on 9/13/07

In my 22 years of pastoring I can verify that more husbands are physically and emotionally beaten than wives are but most men will not make it public knowledge and don't go to the police when they get clobbered on the head with a pan or threatened in other ways. Most people laugh when they hear of a guy getting beaten by his wife. Edward, it would be helpful if you could get your wife to hear some good teaching or read a book on this subject and/or get filled with the Spirit of God.
---john on 9/13/07

This is not uncommon and you are not alone. Infact physical abuse by women is also on the rise. Prayer is a must and a Christ centered relationship is a must. Beyond that I would recommend wise counsel with a Christian Counselor as well as individual therapy for your wife. This needs to be nipped in the bud now or it only gets worse. I will pray for you.
---jody_martin on 9/13/07

My heart goes out to you. Yes there are women abusers.It is time for you and your wife to discuss separation or try to mend your marriage,somehow. One thing I do know. This abuse has to stop. Sometimes women will say and do things when they feel neglected or unloved. Are you being a husband to her, romance, paying attention to her? Checks these areas first.
---Robyn on 9/12/07

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ephesians 6 12-13For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.It is the spirits in her that is attacting you. you need to get in your secret place and Pray every morning.say I refuse to be spoke that way what you tolerate you can't change.
---denise on 9/12/07

Sounds like she needs healing from a wound herself, that type of anger is usually learnt from her family environment. She may not realise what she does, or may not know how to stop. Have you told her that you see it as abuse? Or do you just take it sending the message that it is okay, also how do you sin against her in your marriage?
---Kate on 9/12/07

ZTHe most important question to ask is, IS SHE SAVED, if so lets not take a world approach to this, my experience would lead me to tell you to seek 1st the LORD, if your not doing that GOD won't do anything 2nd, start a prayer chain for your wife, third, love her, love on her, it will be like heaping coals... love her as JESUS does not eros but AGAPE...and read COL3:23-24
---THE_TRUTH on 1/18/07

Okay Carla, I misunderstood.
---Pat on 1/17/07

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Pat, don't always asume that some men have got their home in order maybe my choice of words said something else to you personally. I know many women who go on for years at their husbands to Get the home in decent repair yet their husbands say their wives are always getting at them nagging/argumentative , but in reality the home is in poor repair, and their husbands are lazy or Visa versa this is for the equality gang. That all!
---Carla5754 on 1/17/07

Any form of abuse is inexcuseable, however, I Cor, chap 13 talk about love. "Do You Love Her?" Anger is a sign of deeper issue. Are you willing to seek help WITH her, identify it and deal with it?" Again my question is "Do You Love Her?"
---Stacey on 1/17/07

WALK OUT. GOD is a GOD WHO loves, I said loves HIS people. GOD may help you to get out of that abusive living condition. I know one scripture that says, if you leave your husband either go back to him or remain single. NOW I know that you are a man, I doubt that matters to GOD.I HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU.
---CATHERINE on 1/16/07

God expects you to endure to the end, Lay your hands on her and pray for her in Jesus name every time she starts something and ask God to fill her with the Holy Spirit and Fire. Only by Gods Spirit will someone change.
---exzucuh on 1/16/07

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It's hard to prove what verbal or emotional abuse is. I've been told my ex was abusive towards me. I would argue and defend him, sometimes even thinking it was my fault, which people thought was a typical symptom of being abused. That's the problem with verbal/emotional abuse - you can rationalize it away until you don't know what it is anymore. If you can't define it - you can't find a solution for it.
---grace3869 on 1/16/07

The problem is within her. There is no excuse for her behavior, no matter what she may have had to endure in the past, taking it out on you is not the answer. Only you can determine how much you can/will take. Seek counseling for yourself, attempt to include her, if there are children include them as well. Situations like this affect the entire family.
God will guide you. Remain prayerful
---lynet on 1/16/07

Abuse is about power and control by the person abusing. Turn your back,walk away, leave the house if you must,praying all the way. If you turn to God,don't play into her abuse,you take back contol of yourself, at the same time fill your heart and mind with God. Repeat Bible verses to yourself which are encouraging such as He shall never forsake me or leave me,"I shall keep in perfect peace he whose mind is sayed on me(Jesus)". You can overcome through the Word,love, and power of God.
---Darlene_1 on 1/16/07

Carla, what does having the house decorated and furnished as she needs (wants) it have to do with being a good husband?
---Pat on 1/16/07

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I wouldn't try smiling at her she may just snap thinking your patronising her. Sometime it takes two to make a debate and only one to complain. that may not necessarily mean you are the one being hurt all the time. Are you living up to your role as a husband?, have you got the house furnished, decorated appropriate as she needs it,Are you being the loving, caring, helping person around the home that she needs right now?. If you are then she obviously needs a Dr, she may be mentally unstable.
---Carla5754 on 1/16/07

I believe that when a person is abusive to another person it is because the abusive person has a hatred toward themselves. Pray for her. There is some good advice posted here. When she yells at you, try looking at her with a big smile on your face! (How can you possibly yell at someone that is smiling at you!! :) God bless you!
---Pat on 1/15/07

i will be praying for you, i have a daughter-in-law that she treats my son the same way if he comes by my house she will have a fit, he just isn't good enough for her, he does the best he can do but its not enough, he gets so bad off that he stays in his bedroom because he doesn't want to hear her, he gets very depressed because of his life. so i know what your going through and i will be praying for you..shira8444
---shirley on 1/12/07

I have been through this! Commit these scriptures to heart.

Proverbs 13:10 -- "Only by pride cometh contention."

James 4:6 -- "God resisteth the proud but giveth grace to the humble."

Matthew 5:25 -- "Agree with thine adversary quickly..." Remember, Jesus was falsely accused and did not defend Himself.

It is hard to fight with someone who will not fight back. It WILL take time, but you WILL see results if you are humble and obedient.
---Doc on 1/3/07

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Also, study verbal judo and turn the other cheek using "foggers."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Thank you for sharing."
"Am I all bad?"
"Ouch! Good shot."

I have gone through it and have counseled others. I also have full marriage seminars and a doctorate in theology. I say this only to show that I am qualified to say these things.

And the proof is in the puddin--my wife and I are now happily married.
---Doc on 1/3/07

I know what you're going through. I was verbally abused for years by my own mom. It was to the point that I had to go on antidepressants. When she died, I couldn't help feeling relief, knowing I wouldn't have to hear her hurtful words any longer. I know this sounds awful, but I couldn't help it. I began counseling this past year, and it is making a world of difference. God bless you.
---Donna on 1/2/07

I can feel your pain and will pray for you.
---jimo on 12/28/06

well, "K" I will be praying for you. I know all to well the pain that's is caused by loving someone and jusy having it whipped back at you. Just hold on to Jesus and get close to him. Pray my friend and only look to him in prayer and pray for her hard as it is, let it go and give it over to him.
---Douglas on 12/22/06

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My heart goes out to those in marriages with verbal or physical abuse, There's a misleading song that goes something like " You always hurt the one's you love the one's you shouldn't hurt at all", No, That isn't the case at all. Hurting people and love are CONTRARY to one another. If one is truly of Christ, they will not physically or verbally abuse even their enemy. God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 12/20/06

I feel for you. I am recently married and seeing a "different" side of my husband lately. He says mean nasty things to me and deserts me when I am most in need. I was very sad about some things and reached out to him for support, and he said "I can't help you" - just like that. Very sad.
---E on 12/20/06

I am going through the same thing. My wife codmns me every day, she never says anything positive to me. She has a hatred for me. She left us, Me and my three boys twice in the last 2 years. She said it was her medication and is very depressed. She says she is a Christian but treats me like dirt. Friends are telling me to leave her because of her abusive speech. She has no good thing to say about me. I have loved her and supported her for 17 years.
---k on 12/20/06

A loving heart will win in the end. Question: who will show the right heart? Will it be the 1 that shoots bible darts? Probably not. Will it be the one that concedes? No! It will be the one that speaks to the spouse while speaking to God in love (called prayer!) I too have an outspoken and intellectual spouse. She is a blessing and a curse. Christ says that forgiveness is key, that I can never live up to the life that's been given me; that's why .. --truncated to 85 words, sorry
---Walt on 5/4/06

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women will say whatever you let them get by with. If you firmly stand up to her and say,I DO NOT HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS, and do as Billy advised, and leave the house,it will get her thinking.A woman does not want a Christian door mat. She wants a man who acts like a man and firmly, but kindly, stands up for himself.
---bobba4344 on 9/15/05

pls can i ask aquastion, is your wife saved, is she really washed in the blood of jesus?and at the same time are saved as a man? If yes why then udo you not enforce the word of God in that situation?you the couse of all this you should enforce the word of god and the authority that god has given us as men. as a man you are the head of the family as christ is to the church of god.
---paua3448 on 9/15/05

, pharisee, did you read what kate said?
---steve on 8/15/05

I assure you Steve that is not what's happening.

There is no question this man is genuinely hurt by a careless person, but assigning blame doesn't help unless the careless one starts looking in the Mirror.

Probably not going to happen.
So the solution is to control what we can, and that's self; it involves a commitment to prayer, and a clean slate daily for the offender.
---Pharisee on 8/13/05

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, the true reality is that men rarely ever complain, and when they do, many tend to blame them as if they are at fault somehow. please do not let this happen.
---steve on 8/13/05

I know exactly how you feel. I had to endure the same thing for five years. Don't tolerate it! At the first abusive word, turn your back on her and walk out the door, and don't come back for a few hours. If you're in the car, stop it immediately and walk away. Tell her if she's going to talk to you, she'll speak civilly or not at all, and then enforce it firmly. She'll learn eventually to curb her tongue if she wants to talk to you at all. That's the only thing that worked for me.
---Billy on 8/13/05

Edward the abuse will stop when you become someone she couldn't possibly abuse. WHAT? Yeah, I've been where you are and many times our behavior is dictated by what we think of others. Check your thoughts about her when you think them and whatever they may be change them to "holy and without blemish" (Eph 5:27) you'll be surprized how much easier it is to listen to her, and how this will change her.After all, "who can lay charge to the elect?"
---Pharisee on 8/13/05

Edward, I sympathize with you! I understand your pain. It is true that some women could not just close their mouths and be sensitive to their husbands needs! I grew up in an environment where our neighbors showed such behaviors!!! It is devastating for a man to be abused of by their wives in such a manner! Pray hard that your wife will somehow realize her shortcomings!
---Bebet3754 on 8/13/05

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Pray for her. As hard as that sounds, you need to. Pray that the Lord will soften her heart & her speach. Pray that the Lord will replace hurtful thoughts & words with kind & loving thoughts & words.Also pray that the Lord will show her what she is doing to you. I am speaking from experience. I am no longer verbally abusive, and it was prayer that did it.
---Melissa on 8/12/05

, as a child, i was often suffering from a mom who didn't know how to not be verbally abusive. yet she knew how to be overly sensitive when anyone else said something to her. so, such people do need to learn.
---steve on 8/12/05

, one thing you can be sure of: the feminists will take her side because men are portrayed as deserving of abuse in our society. stop tolerating this, and get some serious help in stopping this abuse.
---steve on 8/12/05

, kate, this man has been hurt and is seeking our help. please don't make him feel like he is at fault. decent men never blame battered women for what their husbands do.
---steve on 8/12/05

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Actually Chuck's suggestion can be helpful. A friend had a problem with ranting & raving. His teenage son, armed with a new video camera, thot it would be "funny" to capture dad during one of his episodes. When dad heard himself later, it changed him.

Hard as it may be to to believe, miserable people don't want to be miserable. They don't enjoy being like that. Very often they are frustrated with feeling helpless about certain issues in their lives. Prayerfully seek the Lord's guidance.
---DoryLory on 8/12/05

Get a recorder and without her knowledge let er rant and rave. Then, play it back to her and let her see how awful she sounds.
Then, you may try the hearing problem. Be not hard of hearing, be tired of listening. Does God not say living on the roof of your house is better than listening to a nagging bride.
Pray for laryingitis and enjoy the silence.
---chuck on 8/12/05

It may be she doesn't even know she is verbally abusing you. (What is considered normal by some personalities, is considered abusive by others.) Have you ever talked to you wife about this? Since you seem to be "at the bottom of the barrel", what harm would come except more verbal abuse. While it's verbal now, it may become physical. You need to get counseling - if even she doesn't go. It could be more serious than a simple talking to her will permanently solve. (Get a professional)
---WIVV on 8/12/05

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