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I Want To Write My Dad

I want to write my dad, but I am scared he doesn't want anything to do with me. What should I do?

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 ---drea on 8/16/05
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First - seek God's will. Speaking from personal experience, I've been estranged from my teenage daughter for 8 months due to a pending divorce. I would LOVE to have her write me. I know she's angry with me (or had been anyway). I don't know if she's ever going to be willing to reach out, but somehow I want her to know that I'm here and I love her. I am all for healing and forgiving. I hope your situation works out in accordance with God's wlll (and, of course, that you can reconcile with your dad!).
---David on 1/12/08

Pray about it first. but yes I would write him, but stay on your kneese in prayer first, let God guide you.I don't know about your situation but Im a good listner if you would lik eto talk. and I will help you pray.
---IVA on 4/19/07

I think you should try to contact your dad. You never know what will happen if you don't try. People need their parents. Parents need their children. Maybe he will want to be involved in your life, but you have to reach out first. If he doesn't, then don't worry about it. It'll be his loss.
---April on 11/21/05

When I was 13 my sister and I were planning to visit my father whom I hadn't seen since I was 6 months old and thought he didnt care because he never came to see me. Unfortunately, 2 weeks after we started making plans he died so I never say him. It was only after his death my mother showed us all the letters he had written begging to see us. There is a deep regret I live with every day of my life now because I've never looked my father in the eyes or seen his face to see my reflection in his eyes.
---lisa on 8/19/05

6. I strongly believe there is a reason for everything we do. God knows it and all we do in execute what He knows for our lives. Meet him, and take it from there. If he wants to know you, that is great, if not, thats ok too. The thing is you have to know. after that you go on without ever having to say you are sorry you never did. You are in God's hands all the time. He will not let you get into something you cannot get out of. Have faith and believe that there is a reason.
---lupe2618 on 8/19/05

5. Drea, I am telling you because in my life I lost a sister of cancer in Texas and God gave me three others. I have met most of my dad's family now and they are all great people. We have to know things so our kids can know also. My dad was never a dad to me but just a friend. I am so glad that I met him and also my half sisters. Because something went wrong a long time ago should not stop us from knowing. We never had anything to do with what happened. I call my sisters and they call me all the time.
---lupe2618 on 8/19/05

4. When my dad died, I met my half sister in person. They called me and told me about the death. I met them and they were so wonderful to me. They hugged me and wanted pictures of me with them together. They invited my family to thier home so we all could meet each other. They have been a blessing to me. My sister in Texas came down was a lung cancer that is called PPH. I told my sister here that she was very ill and one of them flew with her husband to meet her in Texas, and they both hugged and cried.
---lupe2618 on 8/19/05

3. Drea, I am so glad now that I met him. He never took the place of my mom. My mom was the greatest. She worked so hard for us and she never gave up on us. She could have left us some place and gone on with her life. He did. The way I look at, that I had no control over what happened a long time ago between my mom and him. They did what they thought was right, and I had nothing to do with it. People make decisions in life and at the time they think they are right and later find out they are wrong.
---lupe2618 on 8/19/05

2. I knew why my mom didn't want me to know my dad and it was because she was jealous and thought that I would come to love my dad and that he didn't deserve that because he never supported us and also my mom was angry at him for marrying someone else. When we were small she would tell us that we had three half sisters and other things that she heard from others in the town. I told my mom not to worry that I would never love him but wanted to know him. My sister was also mad at me for looking him up.
---lupe2618 on 8/19/05

drea, My mom also told me not to speak to him. She didn't want me to have anything to do with my dad or know him. We lived in Texas and he lived in California with his family of three daughters. They knew nothing of my sister and I so they never contacted me. My sister didn't want to know anything about my dad either but I did. When I came to California I looked him up and he came and helped us. He was just like a friend only. My mom would call me and tell me to stay away from him.
---lupe2618 on 8/19/05

i am confused i contacted my dad & my 22 year old sister i was told he has been trying for 8 mos. to get thru 2 me family tells him they dont know where i am have no number or address for me it is a lie they go 2 my church they call me they know where i live but now they are mad that we talked they want every detail of every conversation & they dont want me 2 know him am i wrong for still wnating 2 pursue a relationship with him am i wrong for going against my moms wishes for talking 2 him i am 20 not 10
---drea on 8/18/05

2. I always knew about my half sisters but they never knew about me. I was afraid for them to find out so I never said anything to anyone. When we met they all came to me and hugged me. They met my family and we met theirs. My dad is gone but I miss my mom. She was the greatest mom in the world. Even today, I missed her so much. She was the one that worked so hard for us. She never gave up on my sister and I. She is in heaven. My dad, I just don't know. Sorry, it brought back memories.
---lupe2618 on 8/18/05

Drea, I would suggest that you do write him. If you don't you will never know what it is to have met him. I met my dad when I was 15 years old. I had pride and didn't want to talk to him. When I got married and came to California, I met him here and he helped us get started. He was never really my dad, but I am glad I met him and met his family. He had three daughters and after he died they met me and we love each other. Praise God
---lupe2618 on 8/18/05

Rejection would likely be easier than the wonder of not knowing.

A friend was sick in the hospital for 3 months when her husband left with their 7 year old son. It took her a LONG time to get back on her feet & she was never able to locate her son. He's in his 20's now & she found him using the Internet. She was scared to contact him for fear of rejection (after all he was an adult & could have found her if he wanted to). But he was happy to hear from her & their story has a happy ending.
---DoryLory on 8/17/05

When you are at the bottom of the barrel, the only way is up. So, based on this piece of wisdom, what have you got to lose by writting him? Go ahead and write and see what happens. (He may be wanting to write to you, but he to is scared you might reject him.) At worse, all he can do is not write back. Just keep the letter about him, other than you want contact and miss him, but don't ask him for anything.
---WIVV on 8/17/05

for those who want to know he left my mom when she was pregnant with me and then he stuck around the same area until i was in school he would have something to do with me here and there and then he would go through spells where he wouldnt acknowledge me at all then he moved and at age 9 he came to see me he stayed for maybe 5 minutes then left he called when i was 17 and havent heard from him since other than he called top speak with my mom a month ago but she wasnt home
---drea on 8/17/05

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You do not mention your or his age or the length of time elapsed since you and he were a close part of a family. At some point in time, the couldas, shouldas, ifs and buts are canceled and we can not have closeure. Suggest you make the first move. He may feel the same way. Tis better to do before it is too late or you really need each other. Pray that you will be ready for his reaction, acceptance or rejection. What have you to lose except time.
---chuck on 8/17/05

I went through the same thing. My dad left when I was two and every few years I would try to work up the nerve to contact him. I never did because my mother would get angry. I found out he died last year and left me with three sisters and a brother I will never get to meet. Go ahead, he might have changed. And if he didn't you can rest in the fact that you tried.
God bless you sweetie.
---Julie3763 on 8/16/05

Well I did email my dad after not seeing him for about 18.5 years and he didn't want anything to do with me. But I got closure and I am very happy that I spoke to him and I am glad to be done with him as well. I am no worse off than before and I don't miss what I used to because I know him. I still love him but I forgive him and keep him in my prayers.
---auror3743 on 8/16/05

You should write to your Dad,take your time,get your thoughts together and then write them down.He may just be waiting for that letter.Someone has to take the first step,just pray that he is ready to take the next step.
---Gert on 8/16/05

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i only have his phone number i dont have an address for him i have called but i get scared when he picks up the phone and i hang up id voice mails comes on i cant talk i hang up he when i was little wouldnt acknowledge me i would say hey dad and he would turn around and walk off he callled when i was 17 and said to write him but was in the process of moving and lost the address since then he has moved and i have written to the old address but i threw it away i am scared he will reject me again
---drea on 8/16/05

Pray and pray some more. Then write him. Maybe he feels the same way you do. There is the possibility of rejection but remember, "I can do all things with Christ Who gives me Strength"...
God's blessings whatever you decide!
---Sandie on 8/16/05

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