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What If I Don't Agree With Pastor

What should I do if I feel like I do not agree with something my church does without making my pastors feel bad?

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 ---LISY5948 on 8/19/05
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It is OK not to agree with the pastor.
be sure that you agree with the bible.
But what should be done is this:
1: Gather all texts on the subject which you disagree
2: Set up a private meeting with ytour pastor
3: Go through every text, and then explain
based on scripture why you disagree.
4: remember you are both humans and each subject to make an error

what ever you do, a private meeting to go over all scripture in referrence to the disagreement is a must
---francis on 3/30/10

You can do this by using the Bible. Is what you disagree with in the Bible? If so, then show these verses to your Pastor in love. If not, then maybe it is you that is not lined up with the Bible, and you need to repent and put yourself in check.
---Leslie on 3/29/10

If you disagree with your pastor and find it difficult to approach him , i suggest you get his e-mail address and e-mail him your concerns. By doing this it gives you an opportunity to think out and structure your sentences in a Christ-like manner and also it prevents the other person from pre-judging what you are saying before they hear your entire sentence or statement. Also there is less chance that he will mis-read your intentions and emotions and facial expressions.
John in VA
---Johnin_VA on 3/28/10

It would be good to speak with your pastor. Tell him how you feel. If what is being done, violates what you know to be true about Gods Law, then you need to discuss it with him. Then only can you make a sound descion, if any.
---felissa on 3/28/10

If you have genuine concerns then you MUST confront the pastor to try to reach some sort of accord. But, be sure that you do so in agreement with what the Scriptures teach.

Bring the matter to him one-on-one and if it is not resolved see if you can find some other witnesses to go with you. If that does not work then you'll need to go to the board with it and then finally, make an announcement in the hearing of the whole congregation. Step by step is the way to proceed here.

Only after all avenues of reconcillation are exhausted should you move on.

In His love, God Bless
---Fundamental_Charlie on 2/6/10

Maybe you should try producing fruit in a kind way.
---Angel11 on 2/6/10

Mitch ... Matthew 25 verse 31 onwards may help you.
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/6/10

2 Timothy 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth. 3:16 All Scripture is inspired of God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.

If they are doing anything contrary to the Word of God, you have the right to correct them. Has any of your brethren expressed the same feelings? If so, you all should schedule an appointment and settle the issue.
---Bob on 2/6/10

Voice your opinions. You certainly have that right. Remember, if the Bible is silent in your complaint, do not stone the preachers.
---catherine on 2/6/10

My pastor decided to open a clean club for NA in the cafeteria of our church.They're playing cards, and partying no differently than they do in a bar. They do everything but get drink or high. At the same time our ministry receives about 1/10th of his attention and it shows in our services and membership. None of these NA people come into the sanctuary for services. I am not in agreement with this basically because I see no scriptural backing for this operation. I feel like it may be time to move on, or boycott services until the club is stopped. Need some advice. please respond to my email
---mitch on 2/5/10

Depends on what the church is doing. Can't please everyone! You have several choices. [1] Leave [2] Offer suggestions. [3] Speak up ar meetings. [4] Find out how others fair in your grievances. [5] do bring the pastor in on everything....Ofcourse your main concern had better be is he a Blood bought preacher? Always pray first. God hears the prayers of the saints.
---catherine on 9/24/09

Your pastor is an adult, approach him as a caring parishoner, and ask if you can talk together for a little bit in private.
---Eloy on 9/24/09

To Robyn
Thank you. I couldn't have said it better.
I really like this pastor and the Church, but I partly disagree with him. That's what I've been doing--not saying anything and pray that with God's help he will come to have a different viewpoint.
---Sissy3396 on 9/24/09

It is better to please God than to please man. Find out what God wants you to do.
---Betty on 9/23/09

Always good to pray about it first. Then if you need to talk to the pastor about such, see if there be someone that you are friends with in that assembly or even other you can confide in to go & be with you like to be a witness. Just 2 people dont work to well, in case of what was said & then maybe been changed, then one or the other would deny what was said. You need some one to be with you.
---Lawrence on 9/21/09

If you can talk about him why can't you talk to him?
Maybe what you heard is not what he said or what he said is not what you heard. Talk to him. That will stop the guessing game. Hey, maybe you can help him with something.
---Elder on 9/19/09

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Ask someone if you do not have a husband to represent your query in love and all respect to the church members in members meeting and await their answer.
---Carla3939 on 9/19/09

I don't know how long you have felt this way, but don't be hasty about making a judgement. Be sure to bring this matter to the Lord, first. Ask Him to show you from His Word wheteher it is unscriptural or just something that bothers YOU.

If you conclude that it is a good church with this one exception...and it's not something contrary to the might just practice some long-suffering and not mention it. If it seems there is an important spiritual issue, then approach you pastor with an attitude teachableness. Listen before expressing your ideas.
---Donna66 on 9/18/09

I'd say it depends on if it violates the Word of God. Sometimes we are wrong, but sometimes it is the Pastor (a fallible Human Being) who is wrong.
---Wes on 9/15/09

I was in a service some years ago, at the end of which a church member accosted the pastor's wife to tell her that the pastor had said something in his sermon that had really upset him, and went on to say what it was that had upset him. At least half a dozen other people heard him say this (I was one of them). The pastor's wife rightly said "Then my husband is the one you need to be speaking to."
---RitaH on 5/16/08

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People do not understand this BIG word love. God is a God of Holy love. Real love comes directly from God, and it's not like the kind of love you people speak of. Because God is a God of Holy love, this makes Him a God that loves attention and He LOVES all the praise and glory of all good things. Which He never gets. This God that I speak of is so holy that, He hates sin. He is a just, God too. And He will through ALL unsaved people in HELL. This God. the one true God.
---catherine on 5/7/08

First pray on it, then go to your pastor in love (christly love). Your pastor needs to know anything that is going on in the church, so he would know how to pray about certain situations. The Pastor is the Shepherd, if one of his sheep is hurting he needs to know.
---Rebecca_D on 5/7/08

It's hard for pastors to accept confrontation because they have a vison of what things should be like and the congragation has thiers. Pray, but don't be afraid to discuss matters. Can't come to an agreement?- bow out gracefully. Better for you to go elsewhere than to cause strife.
"As long as it depends on you, be at peace with all men". If you see this is a pattern in your life, maybe it's you that needs to change. Some people have past wounds in thier hearts carried over after salvation.
---d on 7/17/07

Your Pastor is the Shepherd and is supposed to have a deep concern for the Sheep. The Shepherd is supposed to feed the sheep and protect them from false doctine and false practices. Read John 10:13. If your pastor will not search out the problem or at least pray with you about it. He does not have the anoiting which makes all ministers a flame of fire and bold.
---Marcia on 7/10/07

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I don't say anything. You don't have to be persuaded by your pastor. He has his beliefs and ideas on the scriptures. Yours does not have to match his.But I do respect his beliefs.God deals with us all in different ways. I also pray when things seems to be out of order in my church. Let God take care of it. The only thing you need to do is to continue to pray for your pastor,wife and entire church family. Then set back and look at what God can and will do.
---Robyn on 7/10/07

I would suggest you prayerfully take into account how your Pastor is reacting to what is being done so you can see the road ahead of you. If you choose to go down that road with your Pastor at least you'll know how to approach him. Check that road before you go down it. Make sure the whole map is in front of you and you. It may be that you can by-pass that road. If your pastor acts like your reading to deep into things and is not willing to search out the matter. Kindly shake the dust off and move on.
---Marcia on 7/10/07

If your pastor is a reasonable person, bring your viewpoint to him/her and find a common ground between the two. However, if he is not a reasonable person, you really really really need the wisdom from God.... :-) Good luck
---Christine on 7/10/07

As Paul said "Follow me as i follow Christ". If you cannot find scriptural basis for following what your church is doing pray about it. and simply say. I am sorry but i do not find that this is Biblical and prefer not to follow in this matter. A true Shepherd will understand that you are not being defiant but simply want to be obedient to the Word which is our mandate. Perhaps they are wrong. Scripture says " And if any be otherwise minded, pray and perhaps God will show them"
---Tsuanne on 5/21/07

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We are to follow our leaders in righteousness only. if they do things or say things contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ call them on it. If they are teaching false doctrines, they are not the Savior's church and you are condemning yourself to stay there. seek truth and live in righteousness. by their fruits ye shall know them. pastors lead your church. if they act in disobedience to God, they are liable and need to repent. you have a mouth, use it.
---ashley on 5/21/07

I never submit to anything or anyone without questions. We do not become airheads and people without feelings,opinions and questions when we receive salvation. This is how cult leaders get the edge over untaught and supposedly intelligent people. It just should not be this way.We can go to God(reverently, of course) with questions and you mean, pastors and leaders ,are above God? I do not belong to or agree with this doctrine, at all.
---Robyn on 5/21/07

John talks about 'feelings' being a source of choice, but elsewhere he said submit wiithout question to leaders. As to Legalism in protestantism I have seen many people damaged to the point they are automatons, marionettes unable to think for themselves, calling anyone who thinks for themselves, 'in rebellion.' As of now 3 family members, and some of their friends have left a controlling church, using our home as a midway station. Indignant clergy at their church declared us 'reprobate'
---MikeM on 5/21/07

Go to them. You to are part of the church. If God called your Pastor to be a Pastor, trust me he can handle things coming at him. If you go to the people and they don't listen, talk to them again with a few witness, if they still refuse. Turn them over to God and wash your hands of that.
---Rebecca_D on 5/21/07

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You don't have to say anything, at all. Just pray over this issue. You don't have to be persuaded. Your relationship is between you and God, ultimately, but we do need pastors and leaders who know the Word of God, correctly. Some pastors get angry if you approach them about something like this. Some don't. I would not say anything unless I just had to. We don't have to agree with everything the pastor says. Be blessed
---Robyn on 5/21/07

Seek God's will first and do some research to support your feelings. You are there to serve God not to please people. If you strongly feel they are wrong after praying earnestly, you should discuss it with the decons or elders. If no action will be taken, you should consider to leave.
---John on 5/20/07

Pray for your pastor. The Bible says if anyone be otherwise minded, pray and perhaps God will change them.
Pray that his thinking and teaching will line up with the word of God. not with your ideas. depending on what the subject is. You may be wrong. Judge everything by scripture.
Never speak against your pastor. That greatly displeases God and can bring judgment on you. Pray.
---Tsuanne on 9/20/05

Lisy, our entire basis for the Christian belief is Holy Scripture. Anything else is pure conjecture. A church that is Bible based & Bible taught is a good church. If your pastor(s?)can show what is taught or done melds with the Bible, then it is you who needs to study more. If the church leadership is outside the Bible then it needs realignment. A few truth proving scriptures; John5:39,Acts17:11,Rom.10:14 &15:4, 2Tim.2:15 &3:16,2Pet.1:19-21,Gal.6:1, 1Cor.1:10. Mighty is the Lord, yet a still small voice.
---mike_fl on 9/4/05

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Sounds to me the focus is on the wrong thing. The focus sound be on the word of God, and not the pastor. Man, including pastors, can make mistakes, even when it comes to the scriptures. Christ is the only one to have complete knowledge of the scriptures as they were suppose to be. All pastors should always be open to learning the scriptures more perfectly. At the same time asking questions, you learn more as well.
---geraa7578 on 8/20/05

First, in a private conversation, I'd simply tell the pastor I don't understand what or why you are doing this. (Don't accuse or make it sound like a threat.)

Second, if it's a matter of church policy and not a personal matter, you might approach the leadership.

Third, if your conversation with him or the leadership doesn't satisfy you, you might want to consider changing churches. You need spiritual food, and you shouldn't allow yourself to be sidetracked.
---WIVV on 8/19/05

The heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 First consult God's word for reference to your concern. Is the practice scriptural or immoral? If you don't find what you are looking for, try asking The Bible Answer Man, Hank Hanagraff, he is on many christian radio stations and is very knowledgeable. At any rate you should be able to consult your pastors and let them know your concerns.
---linda on 8/19/05

If you talk to your pastor respectively maybe you can feel better too.

There's nothing wrong with honest communication, it may be appreciated, at the least they'll disagree, but who knows what can happen if you speak up.

You can't be in a position of leadership and not have thick skin so to speak, Pastors are VERY used to negative comments; plenty of them I'm sure are less tactful then yours will be.
---Pharisee on 8/19/05

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If you want usefull information you are going to need to provide more detail information about what you disagree whith your pastor about.
---notlaw99 on 8/19/05

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