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Should I Commit Adultery

My (pastor) husband walked out on me after five years of marriage. He wants to come back after a year. Should I agree after being delivered from an abusive and oppressive marriage? I'm now dating a guy who isn't a Christian but has all the qualities I had loved to see in a man. Should I marry him?

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 ---Eileen on 8/23/05
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No! and NO. Unless you too, are an unbeliever. A warning for all of you: Please do not judge what a man or woman may seem on the outside. If only we could see the heart of man. Well, God can.
---catherine on 12/1/10

Eileen: Your life is a mess. You are confused and just tangled up with your problems. First of all. Leave your lousy exhusband where he is. Second of all: you should not be dating a non-christian. Do you even read your bible and what God says about that? if you marry this non christian, you will suffer for your decision. You may not see flaws now but you will later.Once he get what he wants. He will resent everything you stand for,eventually. He hates your God, for heaven's sake! Something is wrong with that picture!
---Robyn on 11/30/10

If your were in any form of abusive marriage: emotional/physical/mental/verbal,that is a green light to get out. If you have decided to move on with your life, then taking the appropriate steps toward divorce should be in the works before you start dating again. As for getting married to an unsaved person the bible speaks about being unequally yoked. If you think you had problems with your first marriage, being married to someone who has no relationship with Jesus Christ will ONLY bring you much heartache, hurt and disappointment. The BEST quality he should have is the fear of God.
---Nisha on 11/26/10

Friend,You are in a double bind. I would not dream of letting the husband come back(1st bind)That's a no-brainer. You have been been delivered from that hell. Why go back? And the man you are with now is not a Christian(2nd bind). You are in disobedience to God, if you are a Christian. He needs to get saved because you and he are unequally yoked. Christians need to be equally yoked. When we disobey God we are not under God's protection.Your life is not lining up with the Word of God.
---Robyn on 10/31/10

Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. Submit to God.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
---Glenn on 8/17/09

Excuse me but it is all up to you i mean he left you and if your in love why not go for it, but he shall be christian i mean we all should believe in God and go to church.
---karry on 1/16/08

Excuse me? Why are you dating a non Christian? That is direct rebellion to God's directive. It wasn't a suggestion that you not be unevenly yoked.The only way i would agree to go back to your husband is after both have recieved Christian counsel and the abuse issue is dealt with. Your thinking isn't in line with scripture. maybe the oppression was related to that and not entirely the abuse.Adultry is the only scriptural reason for divorce. As a pastors wife you don't seem to know much about the Bible.
---ann_G on 9/20/05

do you really love this man? If you do then be a witness to him and lead him to God. i believe that if you honor God first He can make the crooked paths straight Be an exampleThe word says that if we were ashamed of Him that He would be ashamed of us before His Father.Do you really love this man? Are you willing to win this man into the Kingdom? It's not worth your soul in the end, i promise you no strong christian can withstand the constant company and influence of a nonbeliever, we are only human
---Celeste on 8/30/05

It is important to go to a church that preaches fron the Bible.
It is exstremely important to be born again(saved) John 3:3,7 Acts 15:11 / 16:30,31 Romans 10:9-13 Ephesians 2:4-9 1Timothy 2:4
Being baptized is important, but it doesn't save us. Matthew 28:19
The Lords Supper is important. 1Corinthians 11:23-34
Forgiving is important. Mark 11:25,26 Luke 11:4 / 17:3,4
Confessing is important. 1John 1:9
---Ulrika on 8/27/05

If you are divorced, stay that way. Do not get into another marriage, especially with an unbeliever. Give yourself time to heal. Do not date for at least a few years. Also, do not go back to an abusive husband.
---Madison on 8/27/05

1. You should not marry a non-Christian. Scripture is clear on that. 2. You should not be dating if you are not divorced. Whether you should even consider marraige after divorce depends on reason for divorce. 3. If remarriage is acceptable, you should first get conselling for yourself. You need time to heal before even considering dating let alone marriage, otherwise you run risk of dating/marrying unwisely. Look after yourself first.
---Mary_Ann on 8/24/05

If your husband was a pastor/Christian and still abused you,I doubt all the counseling in the world will change him, if the Word of God didn't stop him before,why would what a counselor does stop him now?God does not expect any woman to live in abuse.You are out why take a chance on the unknown?He may change just enough to get you back and then revert to his old ways.Ask God to lead you and go on with the better life you have,you're free of abuse,be happy.
---Darlene_1 on 8/24/05

You have two problems: 1. Did your marriage include physical abuse? If so, forget letting him back into your life unless he takes a complete counseling course, from a person who is both certified and a stranger to both of you. AFTER he's had a COMPLETE counseling program, you should consider letting him back into your married life. 2. Based on Scripture, you can't date or marry anyone - Christian or non-Christian. Regardless of how you feel about being married, even if you don't reconcile.
---WIVV on 8/23/05

hi, i know that you might be lonley but rushing into any relationship is the wrong answer. I know did that. like the others said satan is using this to keep you away from God. do not continue the relationship with the other man. but do not rush back to your husband. if he has really changed that is good but you need to see that so take it slow and get some good counseling from a christain because the world does not see this as we Christains do. God be with you
---Tammy on 8/23/05

The fact that you ask the question says you are not sure about either man. Also if you are seperated not divorced you should not even be seing another man. You are letting the devil in through your feelings for another man. Just b3ecause he has all qualities you want (EXCEPT Christian) does not mean he will have those qualities once married. Why did you marry 1st husband? didn't he have qualities as well.
You sound like you just do not want to be alone and are letting feelings lead you instead of God.
---M. on 8/23/05

Are you still married? What has happened during this year, has your husband gone for council? Have you? Together perhaps?

What are you doing dating someone, already talking of marriage in such a short time?
In addition, if you are a Christian you have NO business 'dating' a non Christian, let alone marry him!

You think you had troubles before? You ain't seen nothing yet!
RUN to God and ask for direction. Loose this other guy until you are tight with God and know what HE wants for you.
---NVBarbara on 8/23/05

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I say, stay out of the abusive marriage! I dont think God would expect you to live that way. If it were me, I'd go for the guy that has all the right qualities, you never know, you could lead him to God! Good luck!
---Peggy on 8/23/05

Sister. The Devil is trying to trap you. If you reject your husband, and accept the non- believer into your heart, you will only make the mess bigger. The mess will be huge, and you would open the door for an attack of the enemy; giving the great deceiver, that is, the devil permission to attack wherever he wants. Be careful. Stay under the Blood.
---Stanton on 8/23/05

Dear Sister,
It sounds like you are a Christian so therefore I believe you know that you should not commit adultery. All you will do is put yourself in harm's way...more. You say that you are dating another man. If you are still legally married, that is wrong. My advice would be to just pray and wait on the Lord. If your pastor/husband was abusive in any way...physically or emotionally, don't dare take him back until he agrees to go to counseling.
---Marie on 8/23/05


My sister ,I have read your Question and just want to respond,If GOD doen't remember Our Sins or Our Past after we confess,why should us ?We must learm to forget...Let's Your Husband go back Home for The Glory of Jesus Christ.

---Matadi on 8/23/05

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Let me first answer the headline. NO! you should not committ adultery EVER and as a pastor's wife I am sure you knew that!
I must confess for the rest the scene is not clear so I don't know what do say. Sorry!!
---Pierr7958 on 8/23/05

Are you a Christian? If you are then you know that you should not be unequally yoked, which you would be if you marry this new man. I can't advise on returning to an abusive husband. I know that I personally would NOT if you mean physically abusive? When you use the expression 'delivered from' I feel that it must have been a pretty rotten marriage. Only you know the facts so pray about it and take your time. After a year he should not expect a quick decision so go slowly and get it right this time.
---Xanthi on 8/23/05

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