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I Can't Forgive Myself

I know that God forgives us of our sins...but what happens when you can't seem to forgive yourself?

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 ---Sharon on 8/24/05
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Hi, I went to a prayer meeting recently to release my long-held guilt of a man I used to be with, plus shoplifting as a younger woman--and it's gone! :) I feel so free! Maybe going to a prayer meeting is one key?
---Mary on 9/8/12

Considering what God has forgiven us of it is a small thing to forgive others.
---maranda on 9/6/12

Moderator permit-this is a,myself at a point also,some great struggle to forgive myself, the lord is here,yes I have felt the same way as you describe, feel very stupid, but I know thistoo,will pass. Thankyou,so much.
---ELENA on 9/4/12

I forgive people who hurt me easier than I forgive myself. I think right away, if you weren't so weird and stupid, people wouldn't do that to you. I confess this to the Father honestly. I figure he knows already anyway. I run to the Father and he always receives me. God is our refuge and our strength. I give up trying to be who I wish to be, and cast myself unto the Lord. It is why I am still here. I have done this many times over. God has never turned away. My faith grows and I now recognize the Master's voice, I couldn't before. I have nothing to give him but my gratitude. The Comforter ministers. Please don't give up. God knows you are struggling, all of creation struggles. He's made a way to get you through.
---Judy on 9/3/12

Jesus hung on the cross for all of the decent people who won't forgive themselves (it is the "wicked" who will never be remorseful), but if you are like myself and the thief on the cross, you have a good sense of justice and the angels rejoice....

2 Corinthians 7:10 "and brings no regret....".

Luke 15:7 "who need no repentance".

The thief on the cross was clearly guilty of a WICKED LIFESTYLE, but have you judged yourself prudishly that YOU have been "WICKED" (as a lifestyle)?. Be realistic/objective.....even still, Jesus came to "purify" us for HIS KINGDOM.
---more_excellent_way on 8/3/12

My pre-Christian days were bad enough that they still haunt me. However, it took a few years for me to understand that God forgives and forgets. We can forgive ourselves, it is the forgetting that is hard. For me, that is good, to remember where I came from - so I will NEVER be that person again!

And we have an ACCUSER whom loves to remind us of our failures, both past and present. The goal is to not listen to him, to remember that you are now a child of God and not a slave to sin and death any longer.

And it may take you years of prayer to get past your past and reach that point of knowing you are forgiven and then forgiving yourself.....
---Chip on 8/2/12

Jay: I have felt unworthy and ashamed, just as you do. I really could not believe God could forgive me, because I could not forgive myself. But here is a Truth from God's Word, "For ALL have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God." "For God so love the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever should believe in Him shall NOT perish, but have eternal life."

If you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and asked Him to forgive you, you ARE forgiven. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."

Pray for forgiveness, and thank Him for loving you, and forgiving you.
---Trish on 8/1/12

Sometimes forgiving is very hard. I have had to ask forgiveness and I have forgiven many times but you can bank on Satan will keep reminding us of everything we ever did. Just know God forgives over and over and over.
---Shira4368 on 8/1/12

I think if God can forgive you than you can forgive yourself because forgiveness is a mutual thing if your friends and family have forgiven you than you should certainly let those past actions go and move on with your life. If you do not move on with your life and continue to feel like your unworthy than the devil has won and God would be dissapointed. So ease up on yourself and forgive yourself as God has forgave you. God be with you and if you ever need to talk just message me.
---Liz on 7/28/12

jay, God is a forgiving God but ol satan will remind you of your past....he does that to me too. that is where faith comes in. I know God has forgiven me but it still haunts me.
---shira4368 on 6/20/12

I cant forgive myself for past wrongs. i have no excuse for my actions and i am guilty. i may have turned my life around and fooled everyone thinking i am a good person. i do try. but i know my past. the people and family i hurt have forgiven me. i feel if there is a hell than that's were i should go when i die. i am ok with it because i did the wrong, no one made me. i try to go to church but i am ashamed. i cant even acknowledged there is a god as i am no worthy in my eyes. am i wrong? On my worst day i don't pray because i don't pray 0n the others. i wont ask for help
---jay on 6/20/12

Sharon--1Jo 3:20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.

If you have asked God for forgiveness through His Son Jesus Christ...He has forgiven you! Consider it done. Don't listen to that little inner voice that contines to accuse you. That voice is not from God.
---Donna66 on 1/25/11

Remember that when there is no forgiveness, there is equally no redemption. And when there is no redemption, Satan continues to manipulate people whom have either not received it or have rejected it knowingly or unknowingly. So, my dear, accept Christ's redemption by believing that you have been forgiven. Repeat this to yourself everyday especially in times when the inner critic's voice is so loud and remember to Thank God for the ways he has blessed you. with each passing day, you will become free from the power of unforgiveness. I would suggest reading Psalm 32 and Psalm 51 as often as you can then you will realize that God's forgiveness surpasses that of humankind. Even your own.
---Jennifer on 1/25/11

Sometimes as Humans we are not capable of forgiving ourselves.
But you know what it doesnt matter.

What does matter is GOD can, will, and is able to forgive.
Even though your sins are red as scarlett he will turn you white as snow.

God is not a man that he should lie. Trust in his power not yours. Rest at night knowing that is your turn away from your sin and you are remorseful and ask Jesus to forgive you ..then you are free from your bondage and torment of self unforgiveness.
ANYONE who crys out to Jesus he will hear. Remember that..
---vivian on 1/24/11

"but what happens when you can't seem to forgive yourself?"

You then allowed Satan to come into your life and take over.


Because this G-d did NOT even answered His own sons plea of Tears and Blood to save Him from the cross, in order to even forgive those who tortured and crucified his own son(ACTS 1). So how bad are your sins that G-d could not forgive them.

Because you suffer with this, is sufficient to know you were forgiven!!!
---John on 1/23/11

I feel like I cannot forgive myself as well and I have no answer. I have such guilt upon me and I can hardly live with it myself. My prayers are out to you and there are people that really do care about your/our feelings, I have just not found them yet. I am one of you. We have to be strong. there is an answer. I know it. I will keep searching, and so should you.
---Tara on 1/22/11

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if you cant forgive your friend in my appinion after they have talked about you and scandelized your name then what's the point after you have warned them to stop talking about you over and over i mean you just get tired of telling them and thats my opinion and i mean im not saying to stop talking to them completely but give them time to see what they did wrong and thats that if they dont say sorry then you dont say sorry and thats that
---chelsea on 10/23/10

MAYBE you have not really surrendered your problem(s) to the Lord. Matt.11:28-29, when Hannah actually surrendered her problem to the Lord, the Bible said of her "...went her way,and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad" (ISam.1:18).
---Adetunji on 10/17/10

I understand how you feel. I'm sure a lot of God's children feels the same. A preacher once said something that helps me. When God said He'd forgive us our sins when we ask, & that He'd not remember them against us any more... cast them in the sea of forgetfulness... He means it. He chooses to forget it. So when you continue to worry over it, pray & fret about it.... God could very possibly be thinking, What are you talking about? I don't remember that? Now there's no scripture to back up God thinking that... but it does tend to help me ease up some-what on myself during those self hating times. When God forgives, He doesn't hold it against us any more. SO NEITHER SHOULD WE!!
---Reba on 10/16/10

The devil uses many tactics and tricks to confuse God's people. The devil is using your own mind,insecurities to torment you. You must speak the word of God to this demon and he will flee(leave you alone). This is why we are to study and know what the bible says..We should speak the Word boldy to this demon and he will leave, find someone else to torment. Learn the Word of God then use it! God gave us the authority to do so. For starters you can say: get behind me devil. Go back to hell from where you come from. Say it with authority in your voice. Keep saying it until you begin to feel stronger. Also let that evil one know God has forgiven you and that's enough! Then thank God for forgiving you. God bless u my friend
---Robyn on 10/15/10

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Of course, we ourselves cannot lift sin from ourselves, but we can work at realizing we need Christ in those times we fall. If we have a true contrition for our sins, we are forgiven if only we ask and confess them properly to a priest. People can fall into the sin of despair if they are over scrupulous about sin, that is, too "hard" on themselves. Avoid sin by remembering the pain it caused you or loved ones, but especially the pain it causes Our Lord, and you will grow spiritually stronger in the process. It is all an intricate part of growing in Christ.
---Jerald_Archer on 9/15/10

I tend to want to rehash old stuff, too. God some tines, He just laughs, and that of course, helps me. Seriously, Satan loves to keep reminding us of pass stuff. Two or three things you can do. [1] learn to ignore the devil, [2] exercise your mind by kicking his rhetoric out of your mind, or [3] keep talking to God about it, in discussion, and to please help you. Always, be sure to thank Him. I feel, God is not as hard on us as we are on ourselves. As long as we keep trying, this is what God loves to see in His people.
---catherine on 9/15/10

I feel the same way. I really hate myself.
---Dave on 9/15/10

The same rule applies. If you can't forgive others(including yourself)God can't forgive you.
---scott on 1/2/08

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I understand about not being able to forgive yourself. I think you just have to pray for God's compassion to see you through. And if you can correct your wrong then do so.

---grace3869 on 4/29/07

That is a good question. Might have something to do with excepting God's love for yourself.
---catherine on 4/28/07

Yes, we have the power to forgive, the Word of God tells us so. Jesus said we should even forgive our enemies. If we are in Christ we should not be troubled because: "For if our heart condem us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things." 1 John 3:20 KJV
---John on 4/27/07

Yes, we have the power to forgive, the Word of God tells us so. Jesus said we should even forgive our enemies. If we are in Christ we should not be troubled because: "For if our heart condem us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things." 1 John 3:20 KJV
---John on 4/27/07

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I know how difficult it is to forgive oneself from experience. Satan will torment you to help you relive what you did. But you have to forgive by faith and not entertain the thoughts of whatever it was. Thoughts and words are strongholds. Bring every wicked condemned, disobedient thought into captivity through Jesus Christ 2cor 10:5 Amen! You have that right!
---Valerie on 4/26/07

This is so difficult. God forgives our sins but still we must face the consequences. We are harder on ourselves(if we care) by still living with the guilt. We know God forgives and we should learn but we can not forget. We should ask God to help us thru the self guilt stage if there is not more we can do to make it right.
---chuck on 4/22/07

Sorry, you can not forgive yourself. It is not possible. It is not your job. You might as well try to do brain surgery on yourself. God alone forgives. Your job is to take it, cherish it, and love God forever.
---John on 1/10/06

I truely understand, because I have been racked with guilt before. Ask the Father in Jesus name to help you for forgive yourself, and not have guilt. Thank Him forgiving you.
Revelation 1:5 ... Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
---Ulrika on 9/29/05

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lPeter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto unto righteousness: by whose stipes ye were healed. 25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now retured unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls. Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
---Ulrika on 9/29/05

You re-live the sin everyday. Ask God for deliverance and strength to let yourself fell His love and forgiveness.

I'm praying with and for you. I held myself in my own spiritual prison for years. Then I realized that there is threfore now, no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. I am in Christ and free from condemnation and I pray you are too.
---lyndon on 9/29/05

as long as you feed the evil spirits (guilt is its name) they wont die. feeding is 'dwelling, rehashing', focusing on it all the time.' when you stop feeding it, it dies. my sister said once her fears wouldnt stop and she kept telling the Lord to take them from her over and over and one day woke up and it was gone. so tell God to take it every day, then praise the Lord every day, this brings so much victory. then STOP feeding that ugly demon.
---Jan4876 on 9/29/05

Yes, God forgives us of our sins, but a part of that is forgiving yourself in order to truly appreciate the gift of God's forgiveness.
---Heather on 9/29/05

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The vertical relationship defines the horizontal. Also, our Heavenly Father never uses guilt to get us to turn back to Him. He uses His Holy Spirit to teach us and bear witness to the person and work of Christ. Guilt is torment and the same God who inspired, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus" would never "digress" and use condemnation (guilt) for His own purpose.
---Linda_Smith on 9/29/05

Some clarity on some of the things that were spoken:

The "if we do not forgive others, God cannot forgive us" is under the Law. Now God has forigven all men (Jesus could not have been raised from the dead until that took place) and knowing Him brings a release of that same forgiveness toward others, including self. The beams of the cross intersect at "love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" and "love thy neighbor as thyself".
---Linda_Smith on 9/29/05

I heard this advice offered once for someone with that problem:
Do you think that you have a higher standard than God? If he has forgiven you and sees you as perfect through the blood of Jesus who are we to say that we are not? If we don't forgive ourselves, then we are saying we have higher standard than God!
---Bruce5656 on 9/29/05

You don't have to, but let the blood of Jesus cleanse you from all your sin, because there is no more sacrifice left. He did it all. Ask Him to give you a revelation of that truth. Bless you. He did not die in vain. He offers you what you need and cannot provide for yourself. Your feelings lie.
---Patti on 9/29/05

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Romans 8:1
"Therefore, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging quilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live[and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the spirit."
I used to live with guilt and self condemnation, this scripture helped me alot as I meditated on it.
---michelle on 9/19/05

but what happens when you can't seem to forgive yourself? ---Sharon on 8/24/05

You make yourself the devil's chew toy.

You need to be aware that our faith is not perfected, it requires practice.

Be also well advised that not forgiving yourself is in part not accepting God's forgiveness of you.

Shatter your ideas, and "only beleive."
Immerse yourself in the New Testament until you understand how it is that God now sees you. John 8?
Jesus did it JUST FOR YOU!
---Pharisee on 8/25/05

God uses guilt to let us know when we need to turn to him for forgiveness. Once we have done that, Satan will use his twisted version to beat us over the head. Tell him you are God's child and have been forgiven by The Father. Once you let Jesus set you free, you will be free indeed!
---julie3763 on 8/25/05

You are telling God, He is a not adequite. He may have the power to forgive you, but He doesn't have the power to make you forgive yourself. If you have confessed your sin, repented and have been forgiven, then that's it. If you still feel guilty, this is Satan. As long as he can keep you from forgiving yourself - he has you, "wrapped around his little finger." Suggestion, start doing things for the Lord, associate yourself with other christians, find a real support person, etc.
---WIVV on 8/25/05

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Bible Says, Whats Impossible for man is Possible with God. It's probably a good thing that you can't forgive yourself or else you wouldn't need God. He is more than able. We aren't. Just rely On his forgiveness and Love. Not Your own. GBU Martin
---martin on 8/25/05

Sharon: I certainly don't mean to make light of your problem; but, since God has forgiven "ALL" of OUR SINS, who are you that you can't forgive yourself? :-)

Don't give the devil victory in that area of your life. Trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6). "All" our sins are covered by the blood of Jesus. Isn't that good news?

Go to God in prayer & leave your burden at His feet. I pray for your deliverance in overcoming the devil's lies.
---Leon on 8/25/05

If you believe that Jesus was sent to bear the burden of our sins and paid that debt on the cross, then forgiving yourself should be as easy as visualizing Christ saying these words, "Behold I come to make all things new!" Accept his forgiveness and become a new creation
---DavidT on 8/25/05

I understand what you are feeling. Wow, do you think you are better than God? I will never forget when a good friend said that to me. It definitely was something I had to think about and say no way. Sweetie, whatever action you need to take and the time it takes you - you will get thru, no doubt about it. We serve a mighty God that loves you sooo very much. So, stand up - take a deep breath - raise your arms in the air - yell - scream - whatever it takes - do it. Amen and amen.
---Rebecca on 8/25/05

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Maxine, I agree. We have to find out who were are in Christ and refute the enemies attack on our self worth/self esteem with that truth. The enemy's tool is our own mind. We can lift the weight of self guilt with daily meditation of God's promises and talking with others who can identify with and pray with us. God bless you.
---Shelly on 8/25/05

Sometimes we find it hard to accept God's forgiveness because we have not made things right with the people we have offended. EX. When I was in H.S. I worked part-time in a small milk and Ice Cream store and from time to time I would help myself with bus fare from the cash drawer. Later in college I was moved to send the Co, a $ 150.- check to make it right and then I had real peace even
though I had asked God to forgive me before.
---Pierr7958 on 8/25/05

The bottom line is we should feel guilty for a little lie, BUT with his great love, he hath (past tense) forgiven us, Eph 2:4-6. Though we may feel guilty for past sins, at the same time it should no longer control us. We freely have a choice now, from right and wrong. To also help you getting over this guilt, if it envolves someone else, you may want to make peace with them.
---geraa7578 on 8/25/05

You need to realize that IF the sovereign God of all is able to forgive us of our sins, who are we to refuse to accept that? Are you bigger than God? Do you teach Him the ways of things? Give up this desire, and just accept the awesome wonder of His mighty grace, realizing that you are guilty, but, that He chose to take the penalty of your sin and place it on His OWN Son's person, and gives you/us the righteousness of His Son!
---tommy3007 on 8/25/05

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If we insist on not forgiving ourselves we act like we know more than God. We also need God's help to quite beating ourselves up and remembering, but HE is big enough for that also.
---Tricia on 8/25/05

Sharon, I think we have all been in that place at some stage. For me personally I had some christian counselling to deal with the guilt I was beating myself up with. I learnt how satan uses false guilt to keep us bound and through prayer and counselling I came to forgive myself as God already forgave me also.
---Maxine on 8/25/05

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