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Left Husband So Now What

Husband of 4 years has never protected me from constant attacks on my character from both his ex-wife and mother. He is too afraid to defend me in case they have a go at him. It has destroyed my love and trust and I can't take anymore and have left. What to do now?

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 ---Pamela on 8/25/05
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I sympathize with you, my sister. But you need to appreciate that God hates divorce and therefore, you shouldnt consider it especially that it doesn't involve infidelity (Malachi 2:16, Mat. 19:9, I Cor. 7:10-16). Praying about your situation would be helpful so would be talking to a mature Christian couple or Church leader. Hearty, frank discussion with your husband may just the key from God. Above all, pray for patience & wisdom.
---Martin on 11/1/07

Are you any better than he for leaving? The devil loves to breake up families any way he can, and I see you let him. How strong of a Christian are you? You can't take a little persicution? What will you do when you are really persicuted? How sad it is when people divorce becaues of little things.
---Rev_Herb on 4/20/07

surrender all these burdens to God,and ask him to restore u.Phi4-7.u are #1 let go completely life is short pray for restoration of your strong.choose life for you now, you deserve that, amen.
---inez on 9/29/05

Pamela, I'm a man who went through a lot of changes trying/waiting for my "Mrs" to change, she was not saved & never did change (to my knowledge).

From personal experience, you're probably doing the best thing at this point, based on your blog.

Do what you can, leave the rest up to God, let Him {God] cool or fan the fire so to speak. Physical wounds heal a lot easier than mental ones. [Matt.11:28-30].

"God has called us to peace". Your blog gives a face for this.
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 9/26/05

---Jean5203 on 8/29/05

Sorry for the confusion, but you have to realize that as hurt as you are by all this, your unforgiveness is as unacceptable (if not more) than his lack of a backbone.
---Pharisee on 8/28/05

Hi Jean, yes I would take him back, he has also let ravaging attacks come upon me from his ex wife, he is afraid to upset either of them and the price he has paid has been to lose me. I felt so unloved, so unimportant and never felt treasured. I begged him to deal with these things but they would manipulate him and he would back down. The exwife and my MIL also discuss me behind my back. Please pray for me.
---Pamela on 8/28/05

Hi Pamela.. You're not a bad person for leaving.. I would like to know however , if your husband were to decide you're # 2 in his life ( after God) and stood up to his mother and former wife on your behalf, would you take him back? The ball seems to be in his court right now..will pray for you.. A sister in the Lord who has beeen there.. Jean5203
---jean5203 on 8/27/05

Pharisee, I am not the "sad wife" - my MIL is mean to my son (her step-grandson) won't love him, she gossips about me, attacks me, manipulates my husband against me. My mental health is at risk and I never mentioned divorce, I simply said I can't cope with the vicious attacks on me and my son.
---Pamela on 8/27/05

My husband of 25 years left me high and dry with $125.00, he said would be enough to get me started, that I needed to learn to be on my own, he was chasing skirts.
My life was much the same as yours. Love and trust destroyed. But am going through inner healing, and have frustrated a counselor of mine. The Lord knows my heart. I want to be healed and someday be loved again. Prayer is the answer, God will hear. He is a NOW God. Speak to Him through the pain, I promise He will guide you. Shalom
---anon on 8/27/05

Pamela were you the "sad wife"
If it's you, it's obvious to me why you went ahead and did what you wanted, even then you weren't willing to take responsibility for your own sin.

Let me tell you when I reply I am impartial. What you get from me is fact.
Pamela if you're not sad wife, look at the left column of blogs and read what was written. (near bottom)
You definately need to take responsibility for your own emotional responses, that's the first step as I TRIED to show.
---Pharisee on 8/27/05

"I think you need to speak with a Christian counselor and seek therapy for yourself, and then decide what direction you want to take."

When God has shown in his word what the direction properly taken is, there is no need to try and confirm it.
Therapy ok, whatever, but concerning marital issues as far as divorce/no divorce we know where God stands.
---Pharisee on 8/27/05

I think you need to speak with a Christian counselor and seek therapy for yourself, and then decide what direction you want to take. I would suggest you also seek marital therapy for you and your husband with someone other than your counselor. You need to really pray about this. Also, the suggestion to read the book, "The Power of a Praying Wife," is a good one.
---Madison on 8/26/05

There are other issues adding to why I left, I would not leave on this alone the other things are very personal and very serious and my children were at risk of emotional and spiritual damage from this man.
---Pamela on 8/25/05

Seek to restore your marriage.
Forgive his weaknesses, admit your own, Read Malachi 2.
---Pharisee on 8/25/05

Have you "left" as in going out the door, or have you divorced. You are really "stuck". If you have divorced, you can't re-marry, based on the Bible, and if you havn't divorced him, you need to get back, unless there is physical abuse involved. From a spiritual view, would do some in depth praying, plus from a practical view, would get some marriage counseling - with or without him. (Why is he afraid his "ex" & mother will turn on him?)
---WIVV on 8/25/05

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Pray! Read Malachi 2:16. Take ChristiaNet's marriage quiz. There is nothing in the Bible that allows divorce for what your husband has done. Ask God to change your husband's heart. I did, and God answered. Read Stormie O'Martian's "Power of a Praying Wife". Trust in God, be faithful to Him and your marriage, even if you do have to be separated, and watch how God will bless you and do a wonderful work in your marriage!

God bless.
---Dorothy on 8/25/05

Set down and talk with him explain how you feel this has destroyed your marriage, Speak with your Pastor,or a christian marriage counsel to help you with this problem. You see the enemy likes this because he is saying were is their faith and the God that they say they love. I encourage you to fight for your marriage and the man that you love and stand and God will bring you through. Before you make any decision about your life seek God first and hear from him he will direct your path.
---marva on 8/25/05

Always the fist thing is turn to God and pray for what is going on in your life. I have had similar attacks from my wife's ex-husband and at times from her. This has been going on for 11 years. God is greater than all this. I keep my trust and faith in him. I will pray for your situation.
---geraa7578 on 8/25/05

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