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How To Be Left Alone

I am 20 and everyone tells me what to do. I want to be left alone. Any ideas?

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 ---dreab on 8/26/05
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Yes, if you have God and I surely hope that you do, you will learn fairly quickly to stay in prayer. And only listen to God, my friend.>>>Keep in mind that most people don't know what they are doing, let along trying to tell you what to do.
---catherine on 2/20/08

According to some of the other's answers, I need more input to give a fair answer.

The Answer SEEMS pretty easy: MOVE OUT, make your own way, Earn your own living. When you need help from one of them, don't complain that they aren't there for you.
---timotheus on 2/20/08

Don't come here or else you will have many more people telling you what to do!
---Pierr7958 on 2/19/08

Yea, tell them to mind their own business. You old enough. Have fun.
---catherine on 4/17/07

If I told you, that would just make matters worse!!
---scott3649 on 4/17/07

Oh well, now I get the picture. It sounds like they're a bunch of lazy people, the kind that I dislike. Tell them that from now henceforth, you will be doing these things for a FEE that they have to PAY in ADVANCE! Be wise, don't let people to just use you whichever and however!
---Lily9364 on 10/5/05

I have just noticed that you also say that they expect you to miss work so that you can take them places. This is something about which you have to be very assertive. If you take time off from work for no better reason than your family wanted you to take them somewhere you will soon not have a job. You must explain to them that your job (earning a living) is extremely important and you simply cannot take time off except that which is allocated to you.
---Xanthi on 10/5/05

Contd and say "I asked you before I left home and you did not give me money. If you give me some now I'll get the things tomorrow." Be as polite as possible with your parents and be as helpful as you can, especially if you are living in their home, but also be assertive. If you are not, this will never end, even when you are married.
---Xanthi on 10/5/05

Contd Regarding asking you collect goods for them when you leave work, I think the only solution here would be to say before you leave for work "Does anyone need anything picking up when I leave work, and if so, would you give me the money now for the goods and the gas because I have none to spare" If you did this and they offered nothing, then 'phoned and asked you to get their goods, just go home without them.contd
---Xanthi on 10/5/05

20 year olds send a lot of text messages where everything is written lower case and without punctuation. It is difficult to read but I hope I've now understood you correctly Dreab. My advice is that if you have made an appointment for yourself, with anyone, you should keep it unless you would put someone else at risk in some way by not cancelling. No-one should expect you to cancel pre-arranged things to suit their needs unless their needs are extremely important and urgent. Contd
---Xanthi on 10/5/05

Lily: that is not true you totally dont get the picture i just started muy job 7 months ago they want me to miss to take them places or i have been fighting a severe sickness they want me to cancel appts. so i can do whatever for them they have 5 adults in the house and onluy one has a job they wanted me to work then come and clean their house and cook before i did mine see i dont mind helping but the dont appreciate it and they use me
---dreab on 10/4/05

If it is your parents or people that you care for or even your boss at your workplace, offer to do things for them before they ask. I am sure by doing so; the asking will be less frequent. It seems you have given them the impression that you have to be pushed in order to do stuff.
---Lily9364 on 10/3/05

You probably have some childhood wounds that need to be healed, and that's why you have the desire to be left alone. Your self-protective defenses can be broken down as your trust in the Lord is increased. I am getting ready to go through a DVD series called Transformed by His Presence which deals with behaviors that seem to be transfixed in us and how by his presence He can change them forever.
---Patti on 10/2/05

I truly understand. I have allowed myself to be intimidated by people for years and have succumbed to the control of others as a result.When I was a child, I needed to comply with my parents requests. Only problem was I complyed for many years beyond that, and now I am drawing a line. I don't believe God wants us to be controlled or maniupulated by anyone. It's a hard road to change, but God will give you the strength and will refine your behavior towards others as you do it.
---patti on 9/29/05

Okay, Dreab. I am leaving you now with your thoughts and beliefs. I guess I have said enough regarding the "ideas" you wanted to have from the bloggers. I hope you will find solutions to your problem. God bless you!
---bebet3574 on 9/1/05

punctuation is not everthing is you read the majority of the blogs you will not see proper punctuation but thats besides the point not everyone is alway gramatically correct and this is not rebellion because you dont punctuate rebellion is a witch craft as stated in the bible.
---dreab on 8/31/05

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(Cont.)Dreab: This is NOT a prophesy, Sister! This is just a simple analysis of what you have done. But I mean good for you. If you want people to understand you, then be sure to communicate well. In a polite way tell your parents what you feel and what it is that you would like to be done. God bless you!
---bebet3754 on 8/31/05

(Cont.)Dreab: Writing the way you do is a kind of "rebellion" over convention! And you are rebelling over the way your folks are treating you. If you want to be "unconventional", writing the way you are writing now, and communicating the way you are doing now, then, I assure you "you would be in for more trouble!".
---bebet3754 on 8/30/05

Dreab: Do you know why I got your message wrongly? It is because I had a difficult time reading your response. I have to read it over and over. I have to place a "period" in places that a "period" is "supposed to be" necessary. I got you wrongly because your thoughts are not mine. You are supposed to put those "periods and commas" and not me.
---bebet3754 on 8/30/05

, it is common for people your age to resist any advice or help others may offer. learn to love listening to those who are older, and desire to learn all you can. then you will be on your way to becoming wise.
---steve on 8/30/05

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(CONT)but when i use their vehicle i have to fill it up with gas or they call me at work go get me this and that and if i dont have then money they get ticked adn dotn speak to me for a couple day or weeks depending they try to tell me i cant go somewhere or that i cant talk to someone like my biological dad and sister so forth
---andreb on 8/30/05

Bebet: you took it wrong what i am saying is they will call me say i have a dr. appt. and say well you have to take me here or there when they have a vehicle and more money for gas than i i have to cancel my stuff to do theirs and it is stuff like just going to the store or they will call and say you have to take your step sister to the ER because i am tired and dont want to sit up there and not offer gas...
---dreab on 8/30/05

Have you considered that they do that because they love and care for you and want what they think is best for you? It is easier to "leave someone alone" when you don't care for them but those you love - your heart just refuses to do it.
---marit9566 on 8/30/05

(Cont.) Dreab: But with the complaints you forwarded, I doubt if you would have patience with your own family in the future especially if kids come. Children controls the lives of their parents! When children comes you can never say : Leave me alone!
---bebet3754 on 8/30/05

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Dreab, I see that your statement regarding "I want to be left alone" is more on "you don't want to be disturbed by your folks". You considered running errands for them (picking them up and dropping them at the doctors' clinic for an appointment)as controlling you. You are getting married you said. I think that this is the best time for you to treasure every minute you have with your folks.
---bebet3754 on 8/30/05

it is not a matter of me thinking i know it all i know i have a long way to go what it is is people are trying to control i live on my own about to be married just started talkin to real dad and they cant stand it they want me to tell every detail want to tell me i have to drive them here and there like if i have dr. appt want me to drop it to take them out somewhere it is not a leave me alone thing it is let me control you
---dreab on 8/29/05

Hey, I'm in my 40's and people love to tell me what to do, too. Whenever someone tells/suggests you do something, just say, "Thanks for the advice", or "I need to pray about it." This usually satisfies the other party.
---Cathy_Y on 8/27/05

You left yourself open for this one as Pierre points out!
I'll just add this dear heart, that the more we learn, the more we find out we don't know!
---NVBarbara on 8/27/05

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Eph 5:20 giving thanks at ALL TIMES for ALL THINGS in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, even to God the Father,
Eph 5:21 having been SUBJECT TO ONE ANOTHER in the fear of God.
---Worship_God_not_self on 8/27/05

Why do you want to be left alone,are you running away from something or someone? I believe God puts us where we need to be at specific times in our lives. Consider this a blessing that He sent His best to be with you.
---missy on 8/27/05

God puts people into our lives to help us. Being alone is the hard way to go. Consider the advise from the older in the Lord, many of them have been through a lot. God does not want us to think that we do not need each other, for we truly do. As you grow up, you will be able to disern what to listen to. Find one person in Christ who you can look up to and trust. Then trust in God. This is part of growing up. You do not have to take the advise from everyone. But are required to be respectful.
---Linda3939 on 8/27/05

My idea you won't like.
It's called adding humilty to your life.

It's realizing that just because you've reached an age where you can do everything your own way, doesn't mean that's the best way.

Listen to people who want to help you, it doesn't mean you have to do what they say, it means you're careful and want the best for your life.

You don't know it all, I'll wager that at 20 you don't know much, so LISTEN.
---Pharisee on 8/27/05

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Be stubborn enough to follow God the way you believe you should. Let God free you to be yourself and everyone will eventually shut up. If that doesn't work, be loud, obnoxious and stubborn. That works too. ;)
---Julie on 8/26/05

Dreab: Since I could remember, my parents and elder siblings in the family used to tell me what to do. It was very difficult for me to do things my own way because they always worry about my safety being female. But the treatment I got from them (from everybody even) changed when I proved to them that what I wanted was the "good" for everybody. Now I am so free because I have proven to them that I could take care for myself.
---bebet3754 on 8/26/05

When I was 20 I thought I knew everything too. I was smarter than my Dad or Mom and they couldn't tell me anything. Oh boy, if I had listened to their wisdom, I wouldn't have made such a mess of things in my life. Proverbs tells us a wise son will listen to the wisdom of his parents.
---shira_5965 on 8/26/05

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