You cannot discuss discipline with novices parents have to be faced with real genuine life skills and experiences. Not ones that grew up in fairyland!
---Carla on 3/1/10|
Donna ... You can't just talk about the 45 year change. Things after the war ... the late 40's, were apparently more gentle than 1965. Partly I think that is because of the fact that we have gradually lost the togetherness that during the war years.
But if you look at the underlying human condition, and humanity's behavious over many centuries, I don't see deterioration, although some of the clouding hypocrisy has been lifted.
OK, we don't recently having kids left to die in the streets, but have you not read about Brown's recent apology to those people who even in the 70s' as orphans or kids in care, who were shipped off to virtual slavery in the colonies?
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/1/10|
We are talking about 45 years ago
That was 1965. I don't remember children being left in the streets to die or being shipped off to slavery then, as in Dickens time.
---Donna66 on 2/28/10|
Steveng ... OK ... things are apparently worse now than they were 45 years ago. But then, from the UK we were still sending orphans (and children in care) to the colonies, to work as virtual slaves, and suffer appalling physical moral and sexual abuse.
Dickens characters were fictional, yes, but reflected society as it was.
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/28/10|
alan8566_of_uk: "Larry ... You view the past with rose-tinted spectacles! Have you ever read Charles Dickens?"
Allow me my two cents. You are taking a small group of fictional charactors from a novel and making it seem like the whole world was like that. All Larry is doing is comparing two periods of time in which society has progreesively gotten worse faster and in frequency over the past fifty years. Fathers have always killed their own babies, but the fathers in today's so-called civilized world are more brutal, sticking them in mircrowaves, throwing them off cliffs, or hanging them on poles and using them as target practice. Love has surely waxed cold today as in the days of Noah.
---Steveng on 2/27/10|
Donna ... Yes, Dickens was more than 45 years ago, and his characters were fictional. but he reflected society as it was.
May I suggest you see the film about the life of George Muller and the 1000s of children he rescued from the streets.
Tell me which you would prefer ...
where some (and some only) children are rude to their parents and other adults.
where orphans were regarded as vermin, (and this by "Christian" society & churches} and left to die on the streets, where other children went up chimneys to clean them, and down lead mines at the age of 5?
Verbal abuse of adults by children, or physical and moral abuse of young kids by adults?
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/27/10|
Alan of UK -- Dickens fictional characters "lived" a lot longer ago than 45 years. Forty five years ago, though not a perfect time by any means, did not see the blatant disrespect that children show to parents and other adults today. Language that is used today in so-called "polite society" would have caused those of the "great Generation" to blush (as would most movies and many TV shows). Church and "Christianity" were socially accepted and freely discussed. This is not a "rosy" vision.
Khrushchev meant to "bury" us one way or another. His words were prophetic. And I believe the Bible also predicts the society we have today.
---Donna66 on 2/27/10|
Larry ... You view the past with rose-tinted spectacles! Have you ever read Charles Dickens?
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/26/10|
Virgil, its not an issue of men, ideology or politics.
We live in a more coarse society and this is reflected from 45 years ago in everything from our lyrics in modern music to tattoos, piercings and other subtle self-mutilations not seen in kinder times.
This is all a result of spiritual erosion and we have no one to blame but ourselves.
We are busy fighting each other while Satan goes on unopposed.
Hitler morphed from a frustrated Austrian painter to the Furher in lonely frustrated moments filled and then consumed by Belzebub himself.
Never fool yourself into believing anything else.
---larry on 2/25/10|
The last 45 years have changed all world society! Kruzchev said he would bury us! Did he mean all out nuclear war? Foolish people may suggest it. They already had 2 towns set up to duplicate American towns. They had totally analysed our colleges. I am a vet and saw this happening. If you voted for Obama.. you have been had! There were two ideas that have been mated! I cannot name a name.. he invited all religions to a meeting. One was not.. the real Christian. Socialism and.. one world religion!
---Virgil on 2/25/10|
Face the facts, they are born in sin. It doesn't take long before they show the evidence.
ALL are born into sin and many remain in sin throughout lives never behaving the way some children do today
PROPHECY foretold 2Tim3 and children are more violent disrespectful than previous generations and will become much worse
religious christianity has as much to do with violent children today as any other religion
divorce rate more than 50% children FORCED to live in blended families, single parents often work two jobs and married parents both work, entertainment industry programs children for violence - can't expect children repeatedly watching "entertainment" violence and expect them to never act out
---Rhonda on 2/25/10|
when children are humiliated at home by beatings involving exposing themselves naked it most certainly has NOTHING to do with scriptures "spare the rod"
NOTHING in scripture implies this very sick sadistic torture
most parents are so LAZY they beat their children on a whim
these parents are ignorant and religiously brainwashed
spanking a young child under age of 5 when attention spans are often short to contain them
spanking an older child ONLY demonstrates an adult who has no control or authority and is SIMPLY unable to communicate effectively using force and intimidation ....makes for angry violent hateful children who act out their aggressive bullying parents on other children
---Rhonda on 2/25/10|
Face the facts, they are born in sin. It doesn't take long before they show the evidence.
---MarkV. on 2/24/10|
Maybe their parents aren't teaching them right. That is part of the world we live in today.
---Angel11 on 2/21/10|
Parents (and others including teachers) depended more on the philosophies of Dr. Spock instead of the bible. There is a trend between the both disciplines: Spock says, "don't spank your children," and "become friends with your children." The bible says to "spare the rod," and "have authroity over them." Since World War II, parents have been spanking less and less where it's practically nonexistant today while at the same time children today have become more and more unruly, disrespectful, defiant, ill-mannered, and disobedient toward their parents, teachers, and leaders. If these children can't obey and respect their parents and elders, how do you expect them to obey God?
---Steveng on 2/20/10|
I'm sure you have heard and read the verse, "spare the rod, spoil the child." This still holds true even today. Many parents picture a rod like a curtain rod made of wood. The rod is not a one inch piece of wood, but a switch - a slender flexible whip or twig. Parents of old used a switch - interpreted as a rod in the bible - to discipline a child.
I'm sure you have had many cuts in your lifetime, but the worse type of cut is a paper cut - a small, but very painful cut. A thin switch stings the same way especially on a young child - and you don't need to even do it hard. It does need to be on bare skin, though, to work effectively.
---Steveng on 2/20/10|
Teaching a child begins at conception. Everything a mother-to-be thinks, eats, feels, see, touches, smells, hears and says the infant in the woman's womb will pick up. Jesus kicked in Mary's womb when she heard Elizabeth's voice.
What should a child learn? God's laws for starters. Then the parents get together to set boundaries for the children and the type of punishments used and relay that to the children. Do what God told his people - rewards when good, punishments when bad. These rules and laws and the stories of the bible must be taught to the children every day - morning, noon, and night. And be consistent in your training. If you are not consistent, you'll find that they can use that against you.
---Steveng on 2/20/10|
Kids all through history are mean. It's their nature. Sinful. You don't teach a child to be mean, they already know how to be mean, you have to teach him/her how to be good.
I see nothing wrong with Carla, using some method so long as she does not abuse them. It will not hurt them in the future, it will only help them.
If talking does not work then action has to be taken. You are in control or they are in control. It's up to you. Some families don't care what their kids do. They let them do whatever they want. Those kids are in control.
---MarkV. on 2/20/10|
Amen more excellent way I also believe spanking by degrading and humiliation by "christian" parents is part of violent hateful ugly way kids treat one another
many parents are direct opposite allowing their children to do whatever they want whenever they want and ignored by parents - live and breath violence via electronic babysitters violent video games tv movies
I've seen children yelling and putting down their parents in public imagine what they are like at home?
kids are behaving EXACTLY how prophecy described they would behave near the end of the age - they are without natural affection and do not honor their parents ...if one cannot honor their parents how would these children learn to honor one another
---Rhonda on 2/20/10|
Don't misunderstand me Carla,
I'm taking about parents that freely spank both male AND female children (fosters opposite gender resentment, etc.). And there's more...PANTS DOWN, UNDERWEAR OFF (no matter which gender).
That's what I was referring to Carla.
Some parents often BRAG "Oh, I've spoiled my child rotten giving them everything they desire", but Christianity has taught that parents shouldn't "Spare the rod".
So kids are mean when they are humiliated with pants down, underwear off....then they become MEAN people,....what's the mystery?
You're a good parent, Carla.
---more_excellent_way on 2/19/10|
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I don't like to discuss the issue of spanking because it gets out of hand, being a mother of six children from 25-2yrs old I ought to know how to raise them by now. If you are able to bring children up without as much as a murmur GOOD FOR You.
But there are times when time out, taking away privileges, star charts and other measures are useless and when that happens they will however rare it happens get a slap on the hand.
I've seen parents who claim they don't smack and would I want to take their children out NO WAY! No one says to beat, or inflict injury but a mother who keeps her children in check now and again in the right manner without anger or emotional stress, a tap on the back of the hand is not murder!!!
---Carla on 2/18/10|
The reason kids today are mean is that so many parents (INCLUDING Christian parents) SPANK their children (using excuse after excuse to justify it), and then....
...in school, children learn to be like each other.
---more_excellent_way on 2/18/10|
This is just another sign that we are nearing the end.
---jody on 2/16/10|
The girl who was mean to you, is probably mean to almost everybody, not just those like you, who are "special". If she's feeling "mean" she probably makes nasty comments even to her friends and maybe even her mother.
OOoops! I think I was wrong about one thing. She may not HAVE any friends!
"Mean" people don't keep friends. She will have a sad future, indeed, if some adult doesn't love her enough to correct her behavior.
---Donna66 on 2/16/10|
Because they took God out of schools. Some might argue, that kids were mean before they took God out. This may be true, but God were willing to help us. Now, He is not willing to help us. Watch your backs, my friends. Because God won't.
---catherine on 2/16/10|
Parents have stopped parenting. Some are merely breeders. Others are enablers. A parent must set reasonable standards and enforce them at an early enough age that it becomes part of the childs character. In times past parents were more inclined to use harsher punishment, which sometimes allowed them to be less consistent, but nowadays most parents don't use harsh punishment (or any punishment) and expect that just talking to, ignoring or bribing a child will be sufficient. It isn't. If parents aren't going to use harsh punishment they must be completely consistent in enforcement. And, don't forget to love your child and have some fun with them, all stick and no carrot will make them mean or depressed.
---Chris on 2/16/10|
Children without training are little savages, They always have been. What is different, is that parents don't seem to care (or they are afraid to correct their children instead of praising them for every little thing).
I think Rhonda has a point, Scripture seems to fortell a day such as this, when children control everyone.
---Donna66 on 2/15/10|
Children who stare at people with handicapps.
today this girl kept giving me a nasty look
she was even making nasty comments about me
I think she might have been about 10.Why cant todays kids show respect towards people who are diffrent. she probley makes fun of kids in her school that are special.
---Patti on 2/15/10|
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Char, I'm sorry you had to deal with such pain. At a carnival on church property last week, my daughter witnessed a 10-year-old boy call his sister a 'ho'. Maybe it's time schools added a class in decency and manners. What kind of world will we have in 30 years if they don't?
---deb on 5/12/08|
Because they are unbelievers and do not know the right way.
---catherine on 5/11/08|
I guess kids are inherently mean. I had my heart broken today when I chaparroned a field trip to a park and drove two girls with my son. One said, "Oh we get to go with the weird kids mom" My kid is different and I am afraid that these are comments he'll be facing for years to come. I lectured the girl and she apologized, but I saw my son with different eyes and now I just want to hold him and protect him from little jerks, but I know I can't and that these are what he has to face.
---Char on 5/9/08|
we are living in the end times ...where children RULE the home ...i see some of the most hateful children shopping with their parents at the grocery store ...some of these children literally tell their parents what to do and when to do it ...it's the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed but the parents won't discipline they just quietly obey their children
---Rhonda on 3/15/08|
let me first say,i work with children on a daily basis, and i love my students to death...things are so backwards these days, you have to spot the good kids in the crowd rather than picking out the bad ones. childcare is rough.the children can be rude, unthankful,and just plain disobidient.they arent afraid to get in your face,to tell you to shut up and they arent even afraid of the phone call home. one problem may be that these parents try so hard to be pals with their children and forget to be a parent
---JT on 3/11/08|
Kids imitate what they see. In their homes, on tv,internet and other ways. Usually their parents are ugly and mean. Does not discipline correctly or not at all. Lack of home training also contributes to this. Some kids and adults have never been shown how to be courteous and caring toward others. They do what they know to do and that is to be selfish, unkind and mean. That comes naturally to all of us. Unless taught differently.
---Robyn on 9/12/07|
Many children are mean because the parents are mean. Many are victums of abuse. Also what the other bloggers say apply. Just wanted to add that some are mean for this reason.
---jody_jmartin on 9/12/07|
Amen - I believe Andrea is 100% correct.
---trey on 9/12/07|
2Timothy 3,1-5 talks about the Last Days. Children would be disobedient and man would lose his natural affection... Satan was cast out of heaven to the earth, Rev:12:7,9,12, coming down angry knowing he has a short period of time. He tried to spoil the family unit in the Garden of Eden. People have to work 2 jobs to survive and spend less and less time with their children. Our most vulnerable and precious are under attack, and we are so wrapped up in this world, we can't see what's going on...
---Andrea_Maria on 9/11/07|
Parents have stopped being parents. They expect everybody else to raise their kids for them.
Not enough of Proverbs 23:13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. (The original translation for "rod" is club, although I do not condone beating with a club.)
---denna7667 on 9/11/07|
The reason because kids are mean today in school and other places, because they don't know Jesus Christ and the school took God out of school along with the world, and Us Christians including me are to blame also, by not telling our younger generation about Jesus Christ.
---ANN on 9/11/07|
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. The question today is who is rocking the cradle. If that person does not have a vested interest in that child's moral and spiritual development - what can we expect?
---lorra8574 on 9/11/07|
In my opinion there are three big reasons for our children's behavior today.
3. Parent's lack of dicipline to their children.
---Sam on 9/11/07|
"The drivers of my people are children and women rule over them..."The government and crazy unbiblical parenting theories are liable,but parents too.Do parents subscribe to the truth or a watered down version or a lie?What example do parents provide?Are they parents or money cows:work work work so Johnny can get get get?Get back to the Word is the only solution.
---Martin on 2/2/07|
This is the era of undisciplined kids. It is not the parents fault but the government of the day who think they can tell us how to bring up our kids. They stoped us from even tapping our kids on the hand to discipine. What have we today? Monsters. Sorry, I have 4 sons whom m glad not born in this era.
---jana on 2/2/07|
It's not just kids but adults too. The root problem is sin. Uproot sin, and plant in rightousness and Jesus Christ, and the problem is solved.
---Leslie on 2/1/07|
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"Sins of the parents will fall upon their children."
~Parents having the wrong priorities~.
---Pat on 1/31/07|
Why do adults act so ugly to each other?
No need to be so mean and nasty, wretched.
---Judith on 1/30/07|
Perhaps kids have not yet learnt how to hide human nature in daily living as well as adults. And by human nature I mean both acts of kindness and acts of cruelty.
---Benny on 9/17/06|
Are you not aware of Bible prophesy where in the end times the hearts of the people will wax colder and colder? Each generation sees things getting worse. Now it's each decade. Tomorrow, each year. The next day each day. The world is enveloped in terror and each will experience it personally. Every time, it seems, I pass a baby, I fear of it's future.
---Steveng on 9/17/06|
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Many parents are mean, and the kids learn by example. Ever watch Jerry Springer as you surf through the channels? It is wickedness.
I have seen some mean spirited parents in my teaching career, and the apple does not fall far from the tree.
---Madison1101 on 9/17/06|
Whatyou sow so shall you reap.Today, "some" children are totally out of control& IMHO these are the Reasons:-1,No education on ethics morals & God. 2,too much freedom.Too many perks, Lack of Example.Lack or deterants & discipline.Type of friends & associates. If they remove the 10 commandments from public Institutions,what role Is Govt taking if Any.
---Emcee on 9/17/06|
It is interesting that there is now a proppsal over here that children under the age of 14 should not be prosecuted for offences. At present the age is 11
At the school where my daughter taught it was known that children under 11 were being sed a drug runners by their parents, because they knew that at that age, they could not be punished.
They supposedly don't know right from wrong now until they are 14!
---alan8869_of_UK on 9/17/06|
Sue, Some good advice. This is what I have tried to do with my children, and as theyve grown older I've seen many wonderful and compassionate acts/relationships. It all truly begins with Jesus.Also, When they act contrary to what you'd desire, it is important to deal with that firmly...blessings
---Christina on 9/17/06|
children are either Christians or unregenerate, and as parents forsake Christ their children have no righteousness and are become as dead and lost as their parents are.
---Eloy on 9/17/06|
Teach your children by example to love, especially the underdog or the kid who seems too shy or ugly or whatever to have any friends. Teach your kids to stand up for those kids and be brave enough to befriend them. Teach them that if they hear/see a child being bullied to get help for that child. In my opinion it all begins in the home.
---sue on 9/17/06|
Additionally, now being against the law for teachers and parents to discipline. I have many friends who teach school. Here there is a law that a teacher can not even put a childs name on the black board, for discipline reasons, for fear it will hurt their "self esteem".
With the New Age movement, everyone becomes their own god, and we're teaching children with that notion, they are little gods too.
---kathr4453 on 9/17/06|
Are we forgetting human nature? I am amazed at the parents who apparently think children, especially their own, are born innocent, and would remain so unless influenced to act differently. Children are beginning sinners. They haven't yet mastered the art, of calculated sinning,deception, and bad behavior as practiced by their adult counterparts. In time, however, they will become just as accomplished, in all the fine points of our fallen human condition as described in the opening chapters of Romans......
---Robert_F._Hayes on 9/16/06|
I agree with all Bob has just said. Around the late 60s and into the 70s it was rightly agreed that children's voices should be heard but, sadly, we moved from 'don't speak unless you are spoken to' to the attitude that the young voice was more important than anyone else's. That resulted in back-chat, insolence, 'you can't tell me what to do' etc. at home, in school, even in church and we now have a young ignorant mob more or less running things. Sensible adult hands are tied, legally.
---Xanthi on 9/21/05|
Most of today's kid's are "heirs" of the 1960's revolution(s) culture/teachings, where everything moral was seemingly challenged or ignored.
One major reason I believe this, besides parents or a lack of, was taking God out of the schools.
When God's reality is visible around you, you're always conscience of someone you can't hide from, & have to answer to.
That Godless void sucked in many things, death cultures, & chiefly the spirit of anti-Christ!
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 9/20/05|
A lack of parental attention, is at least one reason. They are not taught respect for themselves or others. Some of it is from just plain ignorance of what to do right. A numer of parents would rather be a "buddy" than a parent - and this is mostly from guilt. It also take time to be a good parent. (Proverbs 22:6)
---WIVV on 9/13/05|
Like the old addage goes" Monkey see, Monkey do". what do you expect when the parents act nasty and don't have any values of their own???? This stuff is past down from generation to generation until someone stops it. Abuse is past down from generation to generation so is behavior. Kids need guidance and disapline and values. they can't learn them if the parents don't have them.
---Jeannine on 9/13/05|
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Many of today's young parents had a poor upbringing themselves so they have no parenting skills of their own. I recently heard a mother using the most filthy words whilst screaming at a child (so small he was still in her arms) and I just wondered if, when he starts using such words, she will say "I don't know where he gets that from!" Some parents use filthy language in every sentence and don't care who hears it. Is there any wonder that some children today can only shout, swear and fight?
---Paulette on 9/13/05|
Thanks for answering my 8 year old daughter's question. Kid's today are so aware of everything. We must educate our children with the word so they can learn to live in this world and be strong against all that is against them. God Bless this forum and all of the ministry it does to help all, from the youngest to the oldest.
---Attalies_Mom on 9/12/05|
Not all children are this way but I think a large part or their actions can be due to what is fed into them. By this I mean the meida. Almost everything around is is geared to violence, four language or sex. It is made to seem exciting and cool so the outcome is of corse shown in people. Also as the years have gone by most bad things are given names that make them not seem so bad. Many children are exposed to more negativity then positive so outcome is negative for most.
---judit4846 on 9/12/05|
Please don't lump all kids together like this. There are wonderful kids out there who are strong Christians. The bad kids get more attention, which is unfortunate. Good kids need support and praise. don't paint with such a broad brush.
---Annie on 9/12/05|
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From the looks of some of the posts about the hurricane victims, it is clear that kids are mean because their parents are mean. Kids learn from examples.
---Madison on 9/12/05|
My children and I have often ask this question. Unfortunately, all you have to do is look at some of these kids parents and listen to their foul mouths and loose morals and you see the picture more clearly. We need to pray for these families and the teachers, too.
---Cathy_Y on 9/12/05|
A wise man once said, filth in and filth comes out. God tells us to study his word, and to set our minds and hearts on spiritual things. To set our affections on things of the earth, and we will reap corruption.
---geraa7578 on 9/12/05|
You get the good and the bad. It was that way 20, 40, 100 years ago and it is the same today. For every mean kid, I could show you kids who are holding lemonade stands for hurricane victims, helping in their churches, showing kindness, etc. The good kids are out there, it is just that the bad kids seem to get more attention.
---Annie on 9/12/05|
Much of young children's behaviour now is caused by lack of parental control, discipline and the giving of parents' time. Childen spend many hours sitting in front of either a T.V. screen or a computer screen. Many rarely have bedtimes stories read to them or have parents that will play games with them. They are left to amuse themselves. Their role models become the older, often naughtier, children in school and the cycle continues. Today's children are frustrated through lack of authority.
---Xanthi on 9/12/05|
Children reflect their world around them...If the parents, neighbors, the programs they watch and hear, the books they read, the children they hang around with and their living space reflect goodness and kindness, so they will be also; however, the opposite is true also! It is no mystery! It was ever thus and yes, I agree in many ways the youth of today are kinder than in my generation. Even the difficult ones I had in the psych unit at the hospital were sweet when they were treated that way!!
---Elsie on 9/12/05|
I personally think it's just perception. When I was a kid we had fights in school, kids were mean to other kids etc. When you go back and look at old television shows, there were always bullies. I taught HS for awhile, and I must say most of the time I felt like the kids of today are 'better' than we were. They are definitely smarter, more aware of world issues, more charitable than kids were when I was in HS. Most of the problem is 24hr news just brings to the surface all the actions of bad kids. .
---Peter3773 on 9/12/05|
My son asks that exact question. Is a lack of discipline and care by thier parents. They are more concerned with working and socializing than teaching thier kids values and morals. There are 9 & 10 yr old kids in my complex who are alone at all hours while thier poarent(s) arte out at bars or parties. Makes me sad and sick to see it all.
---Marla on 9/11/05|
Bless you Debbie. So many people are either afraid or don't love their kids enough to be parents. A parent must be the responsible person. It is church order & just plain sense. I am having to deal with a teenager who drives a 60mph 4wheeler on our country roads with his parents blessing. He is endangering people no less than shooting a firearm up & down the road. His dad doesn't want to hurt his feelings by setting rules... Lord help us.
---mike_fl on 9/11/05|
I believe this is because they are not being taught morals and decency at home. It seems parents want to be their child's "friend" rather than having to discipline and teach them proper behavior.
---Debbie on 9/11/05|
Partially because many parents allow their children to play hrs of very violent video games that encourage murder, rape, car-jacking etc.
---Pierr7958 on 9/11/05|