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I Am Running Out Of Hope

Running out of Hope. Everyone, please pray for me. I am in a very difficult, very unhappy marriage and it is only getting worse everyday. I have tried prayer but it doesn't seem to be working. My husband is verbally and mentally abusive. I am so miserable. What should I do?

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 ---Kim on 9/12/05
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Find a prom dress and go to the prom?
Snuggle up to the prom king but hope that big dog daddy doesn't catch you?
Maybe they'll pick you to be on the float and wave at the crowds? Have you perfected the "rodeo wave"?

Hope Floats.

---Mark on 1/21/08

Hello,I was in an abusive marriage for 24 years.I have been on my own for eight months now.Last Monday I was saved.I pray for the Lord to hold my hand and guide me.Think about these steps:Identify the enemy.(Be honest, is it you.We cannot keep blaming everything on the abuse we need to take control of our life).Take the problem to the Lord.Admit your own inadequancies.Keep your eyes fixed on the Lord.Relax in faith.Thank him in advance for victory.Do what he says.God bless you.Donna
---donna on 10/16/07

Get out. If he sees that you continue to stick around he will set you up for more abuse, he is a bullie, beleive me they are all around us. Marriage was created for love, not for abuse.
---Whisper on 10/16/07

I do feel for you, but actually, unless the man is hitting you, you are not as helpless as you may think. Seek the Lord as your peace and pray for your husband. You can't have a master without a slave. Stop allowing his mouth to affect you. He is the miserable one and he is projecting it onto you. You are buying it hook line and sinker. Why? Do you like to be miserable? Seek God. Are you saved? Find interests other than his misery. Rebuke his misery. I am praying. And that is what you should do.
---jody on 10/16/07

It's difficult to give advice when we don't know the whole story, and I'm sure there is not enough room to tell it here. May I suggest that you try marriage counseling, with or without your husband. Continue praying and let God guide you. I'm sure all ChristiaNet bloggers will pray also. God bless.
---Nan on 10/16/07

Pray and seek counseling
---lyndon on 9/29/05

The bible says Husbands are to do the same for their wives just as jesus did for the church. The husband leads the family provides for it and guides it out of Love not through abuse. Jesus never abuses us he loves us. The Husband is suppose to do the same in his relationship with the wife. If he does not his prayers will go unanswered. You may have to go to a Pastor or a Counsler for help. Ephesians 5:21-28 Husbands love your wives just like you love your own bodies or your self.
---Gregory on 9/14/05

The Bible also says the husband is to love the wife just as Jesus loves the church. Jesus being GOD knew we were week so he provided a way for the church to recieve salvation. He left heaven came to earth lived in a body like us and was tempted as we were. He then died for us provideing for us what we could not do for ourselves because we are week. Jesus is our Shepard. he leads us he provides for us he he watches over us.
---gregory on 9/14/05

If your husband is a christian,You are going to have to confront your husband in a gentle and loving way that he is not fulfilling the scriptures in 1 Peter 3:7. The husbands are to dwell with the wife in Knowledge that she is the weaker Vessel. She needs help. The husband is to show her Honor not abuse her. You both inherit salvation togather. The husband is not better than the wife nor the wife better than the husband. The husband is to take into account the weakness of the wife.
---gregory on 9/14/05

claim phil4-7 daily. surrender him to God, his mind to the mind of God, his will to gods will, surrender his angryness, bitterness, claim him for God. Pray for yourself, surrender everything to God daily.
---inez on 9/14/05

Kim, please get yourself the book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. It will change your life dear sister, it explains the different forms of abuse, including the more subtle things like "blocking" and "countering" what you say. You are not crazy, this type of abuse messes with your thinking, that is the whole plan of the abuser - to have control and "power over" - I pray the book gives you some comfort. Jeremiah 29:11
---Maxine on 9/13/05

....This lady needs counselling support for herself, her self esteem and self image will be damaged and her husband MUST deal with the abuse in counselling or it will simply go on and on. The abuser has no logic, you cannot discuss feelings with them, they actually see reality differently to their partners.
---Maxine on 9/13/05

You cannot even attempt to "understand" an abuser, verbal and mental abusers have very deep issues and their methods of abuse create a "crazy" feeling in the victim and often trying to understand makes it worse...
---Maxine on 9/13/05

From my experience too, the more I tolerated evil, the greater the damage. I thought prayer and tolerance would change things. However, I also learned that people are given free will and abusers may insist on having their evil way. God does not twist their arms and mind to follow His commands. May the Lord help you to make wise decision before greater evil happens!
---seble on 9/13/05

The first thing you should do is understand.

This is why you're losing hope because you don't understand what he's going through nor how he can so easily turn it on you.

If you try to talk about it with him he wants none of it I'm sure, so all you can do is seek understanding in your part of all this.

Jesus never gave up when it got unbearable, he continued not for himself but everyone else. Whatever you decide Please don't throw this man away.
---Pharisee on 9/13/05

I am in the same situation, I seperated from my husband on pastoral counsel, God does not want us to be abused. Your husband has to make the choice to deal with his anger/abuse issues - have you asked him if he will consider counselling? If it is affecting your self-esteem then you should seperate until he can treat you better. It will only get worse, speaking from experience. Malachi Chapter 2.
---Maggie on 9/13/05

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In some situations there are shelters - example Salvation Army.
Education about abuse also helps. Understanding the dynamics of a marriage relationship can help a woman stand up against abuse. Although this can also help some husbands get even more angry.
Do you want to save the marriage? See a counsellor - even a Christian minister can help.
Will pray for all troubled marriages.
---barbara67 on 9/12/05

I was in an abusive marriage for a while myself. I don't know your whole story but I can tell you what I did. I left him, got counseling and saved my son from growing up being raised by someone who would only hurt him. My Pastor told me one day "God doesn't want you following a fool. The only thing you can do is cast your cares on God he will take care of them. Seek counseling from the church and then with God's guidance make your decision on what to do.
---Irene on 9/12/05

I know prayer changes things. But no-one should have to go through anything like this. I dont think God would expect you to either. I've been there. I prayed also. If things hadnt changed, I would have left, no questions asked! I feel the same way even now.
---Louise on 9/12/05

You have my prayers. What you are going through is not easy. Go to counseling and you might want to check if your library has books on codepency. Living in a bad relationship can leave your life out of balance. I know because I am working through this myself. Also, find a good church and go.
---Annie on 9/12/05

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I agree with Nan on you getting counseling. Ten years ago I was in a similar situation. The other thing that will help greatly is to rely on your friends at church who you trust. If you're not going to's time. You need the loving support a church family can give.
---Judy on 9/12/05

If it is as bad as you say and you have parents who could help you or a good friend and you could stand on your own for a while LEAVE HIM like in seperation and stay close to the Lord. Tell him if he does not change you may have to leave him for good! You deserve better!
---Pierr7958 on 9/12/05

We are praying for you. Talk to your Pastor. Tell him everything. Abusive people need ministry and accountability not cover-up. Don't believe lies that are said in anger, your heavenly Father loves you. Jesus heals the broken hearted and sets the captives free. Keep your self safe, body, soul, and spirit. May God Bless you and keep you.
---chera3744 on 9/12/05

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