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16 Year Old Dates A 26 Year Old

I have a 16 year old daughter living with Father, Father has been letting a 10 year older man date her the last 2 years, she is now going to have a baby by the 26 year old. Her father wants to press charges agaist the 26 year old. I think her father needs looked into. HELP Mary8877

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 ---Mary on 9/16/05
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I feel your question is very judgemental of the father << Father has been letting>>. Are you absolutely sure that if you are together or the child lives with you alone, such a thing can never happen?
---Adetunji on 5/18/11

This worrys me because kids don't care the all wanna be on tv 16 and pregant what's wrong withthis generation
---jacob on 5/13/11

I wonder what happened that the family was split up and the mother not at home at a time when a girl really needs her mother. Maybe the girl was uncontrollable. Hopefully she had the baby and grew up a bit.
---frances008 on 12/8/08

I have been dating a 26 year old guy and im 16. I snuck out of my house 1 time and i got caught and the police arrested him and questioned him . He woudnt admit but i coudnt keep denying it. He went 2 jail for about a month and bailed out. We have court soon. So i understand how she must feel. I feel so horrible about it all and i wish i could take it all the back. I dont think the father should press charges if she is pregnant. But since im not preganant my dad is pressing charges. I dont know how im going to get through all of this.
---Haley on 12/7/08

Legally, if the father somehow encouraged an underager to be with an adult, and knew they were sexually involved, then he has contributed to the deliquency of a minor and is guilty as an accomplice to statutory rape, I'd think. So, if he thinks criminal charges need to be filed . . . he needs to be included. Likewise, if the mother knew but did not effectively act against the raping, she was also, at least passively, a co-conspirator, wasn't she?
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/21/08

In a few years a 10 year age difference will not be a big deal. My father's second wife was 12 years his junior. My grandmother was 18 years younger than her husband. No biggie. Father allowed her to date, what did he think was going to happen?
---dan on 4/21/08

Mike, the 16 year old's mother is the one who asked the original question and she states that the daughter (who, by now, will be 19) lived with her father at the time. This fact is probably the reason that the mum could do nothing about the matter. The parent given custody is usually the one who has to discipline and guide a child and it seems that this did not happen.
---RitaH on 4/21/08

Another resurrected blog from 2005 ...the women who posted topic praised Lord in 2005 ...girls father wouldn't press charges

girl is 19 now, hopefully she did right thing in Gods eyes having baby ...raising it herself if father didn't abandoned her ...or she gave baby up for adoption ...sad when a father willfully neglectls a minor child who deserves guidance ...not to have ANY "relationship" with an adult ...let alone a 24 yo man who found more interest in a 14yo child then his own peers
---Rhonda on 4/20/08

No matter how you look at it's going to be a problem for every one. It's going to be even harder on the girl because now is going to have a baby at 16 and she has not even finshed school yet. Were is the 16 yr olds mother and why did she not put a stop to this or at least tryed.
---Mike on 4/20/08

Voice from above::,Don't say "I told you so.What is your next step--throw away the water and dirty soap- Keep the Baby" .Life goes on.
---Emcee on 4/20/08

From a legal perspective, I have to remain silent - but it now seems he is trying to "close the barn door after the cows have escaped." Why does the father have this girl in the first place? He will be looked into - but by a secular organization - not a spiritual one. All you can do at this point is give the 16 year all the support you can. (She needs it.)
---WIVV on 4/20/08

Stephanie::"16 years old & in love"that is a classic.18 year old Jack views it from all angles front back Headlights.tail lights heels beautiful,shiny red,Body.
2008 model & says "boy .Id love to drive that baby"Goes up to the car when a voice from above grows "Dont touch wet paint.theres nothing under the hood not wired,leave it alone she is not road worthy as YET"would you call that love or ignorance. fools rush in where angels dare to tread.
---Emcee on 11/1/06

Listen I'm 16 years old and all I can say is if she loves him and since she is having a baby by him, the law can't do anything because when a 16 year old gets pregnant that automatically makes them an adult. Trust me I know! My sister was 16 with her frist child and she moved out and in with her boyfriend, now she's 18 and married with 2 children. Honestly, I dated a guy who lied to me and said he was 18 but later I found out he had just turned 27. I broke up with him of course.
---Stephanie on 11/1/06

Charles: The 16 year old is an innocent victim to poor parenting and child molestation.
---Madison on 10/17/05

1. Father knew how old this guy was and still let him date his daughter-Father should know better he was young once.
2. The 26 year old should have know that if he got the girl pregnant all heck is going to happen
3. The 16 year old is not innocent here-she knew what she was doing and she is now going to pay the price as in being an adult alot faster than she wanted to had she not got pregnant
---Charles_Tarkington on 10/17/05

This "child" has been dating a ten year older man since she was 14yrsold....even now(at 16)many states have laws against this. I can't imagine where your family is coming from. There needs to be an investigation of the legality of this in your state and possibly charges pressed against the 26 year old. A teen this age does not have the ability to judge this situation appropriately and is confused. This entire family needs much Christian counseling.
---Elsie on 10/17/05

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I disagree with angie. The 16 yr old is an adult( can't charge by law )however, the 23 yr old is held accountable by God as he made her falter. Her dad is not accountable - but should of been aware of their constant closeness. There was obviously a communication breakdown between father and daughter. Perhaps he wasnt strict in his guidelines on dating with her. I believe, that if the couple truely love one another, they should marry and make it right. After all they are both adults.
---chris on 10/17/05

yea the man should have charges pressed against him, it wouldnt have been a problem if they didnt have sex. but they did, the dad is accountable for allowing it to happen to his daughter, he shoulda been lookin out fr her well being
---angie on 10/17/05

Robert: This is not about casting stones. This person is a sexual predator and should be made accountable to the laws of the land. In addition, the parents should not let their daughter continue in the relationship with him. Too many children are victims of sexual predators, male and female.
---Madison on 9/25/05

It's amazing how many of you are willing to cast the first stone...even though you don't, and probably won't ever, know all the details. God is love. At least try to emulate him a little.
---Robert on 9/23/05

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why would any man want a girl who isn't even old enough to hold down a real job? it's a mystery to me.
---James on 9/22/05

A man's walk with God is no different than a womans.We are all tempted even as Christ yet He was without sin.A person sins because they are led away of their own lusts,thats Bible,they don't have to ,it's not the Devil makes them do it,it's their own lack of Holiness.The carnal self is to be buried and we are all suspose to be new creatures in Christ with hearts purified ready to resist temptation and the members of our body also ready to serve God and not sin.
---Darlene_1 on 9/22/05

Bethany: The 26 year old predator can get salvation in prison, where he belongs. There must be consequences for this kind of crime, and he belongs in prison. No parent in their right mind would allow a 14 year old to date a 24 year old, and then compound it by having the now 16 year old marry the man. It is totally wrong and the girl and the baby will have a life of misery. This girl needs therapy to deal with her dysfunctional parents and sexual abuse.
---Madison on 9/21/05

Ladies, please, as woman of God, understand, a man's salvation and relationship to the Lord, should be close and worked on daily, however, the carnal self, is a work in progress in a man's walk with God.

Please read Hosea, read about the Lord's love for Israel through this love story.

Finally, remember, with God (inbetween situations) anything is possible.

In Paul's journey as our greatest example of an Evangelist, struggled - yet encouraged when 'our' expectations became shipwrecked.
---bethany on 9/20/05

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Steve: I laughed so hard when I read your post. I do not have contempt for men. I have contempt for people who treat other people badly. If some of them are men, then so be it. I also have contempt for people who would try to oppress other people, whether they are the poor, minorities or women. Reread those posts and tell me if they show contempt for the male species or the people who would hurt and oppress the weaker people in the world.
---Madison on 9/20/05

Laure: I knew you agreed. I just felt the need to emphasize the severity of this problem. Having the two of them get married is not the fix that some people think it will be. If a man cannot control his urges and date a woman his own age and live morally, what makes the family think he will be faithful in marriage and good to the daughter?
---Madison on 9/20/05

, madison, we are in agreement that such a predator should be locked up forever. but i was referring to your appearance of seeming to have a contempt for men in general. i see that in other blogs as well.
---steve on 9/20/05

I'm not disagreeing with you. In fact I agree.
---Laure5469 on 9/20/05

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"Unfortunately" in our society today, even our legislators are ignorant of what is truly "best" for us or our children. I live in Florida, and have a nephew who is in prison and will be marked for life because at 18 he was caught with a 16 year old. In South Carolina, 16 is the "legal" age of consent. What needs to be done is for the parents to retake the responsibility of training their children and assume the responsibility of their straying.
---tommy3007 on 9/20/05

Laure: Not only is this 26 year old not mature, he is a pedophile. He is a predator. He needs to be locked up. I would not encourage my child to marry this man at all. He is criminal and pedophiles don't stop pursuing their young girls when they marry, they keep going after them. Some just like teenage girls because they are sweet and innocent and they love corrupting them.
---Madison on 9/19/05

whatever the out come with the law, make sure that the father pays child suport. as for Mary and Joseph. well,her parents O.K.ed it, and they were married. so christ had 2 parents. is this guy going to be there for daughter in 2 yeaars? the baby now? to like a person 10 years yonger says he isn't mature.
---Laure5469 on 9/19/05

Steve: My past abuse doesn't effect the way I see anything here. The law is the law. An adult who has sex with someone under the age of 18 is committing a crime and should be arrested, charged and thrown in jail. PERIOD. That is the law. Any parent who does not press charges on this crime is telling their child that they condone sexual abuse and criminal behavior.
---Madison on 9/19/05

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, madison, forgive me, but don't you think that maybe your past abuse could be altering the way you see things, just as what i went through made me see things differently?
---steve on 9/19/05

, bethany, what verse teaches that mary was 14? anyway, the girl's dad should have pressed charges against the boyfriend, and not spared the rod on the daughter.
---steve on 9/19/05

cont: I am a victim of abuse and I was a teenager, and it has caused me many problems since then. The man knew better, I was confused and hurting. He took advantage of my vulnerability.
---Madison on 9/19/05

Dan: The law says that adults cannot have sex with minors. Adults are supposed to know better and control their urges. Adults are the ones that are legally responsible for their behavior. Whether it is a man with a girl, or a woman with a boy, the adult is legally responsible. I don't care if the child strips to their birthday suit, the adult is legally responsible for touching that child. If you have a problem with that, tell the legislators who wrote the laws.
---Madison on 9/19/05

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Thank you Ann, I have thought about Mary and Joshup to alot since all of this has happened. I know that God has a puppose for all life and I know this baby will be special to our Lord. Thank you everyone.
---mary on 9/19/05

Bethany,could you tell me where the Bible verses are that says Mary was 14 when she married Joseph.If not in the Bible it's only man's speculation and means nothing.It was a different Society then ,it wouldn't make it right now, as Christians we are to obey the laws of the land.Those against that aren't Pharisees,more so ones who are for it.Pharisees had lax morals,enemies of Christ,avaricious,sensual,and dissolute.Christ called them vipers.Any man who uses a child for sex is a snake in the grass.
---Darlene_1 on 9/19/05

Bethany, where in scripture do you get the ages for Mary & Joseph?
---Ann5758 on 9/19/05

Just to upset you all, Mary was 14, when she married Joseph was 38, all you pharisees, have a cold bath, chillout!

A precious life about to be born the only sceaming we need is for this creation of God about to enter His wonderful world, to become abundant in joy, and His blessings.

Guys, I do feel sorry for the way us women expect being treated as ladies, yet, I believe, feminity has been lost in materialism and 'me me me' attitudes, no wonder some men are confused theses days
---bethany on 9/19/05

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Good Lord, is it any wonder the teen girl is looking for love in the wrong places? She is looking for love, acceptance and guidance.
When a mom knows and does not stop abuse it builds hostility in that child. Your doughter needs alot of prayer and so do you.
---ann_G on 9/19/05

The girl was 14 he was 24,there is something wrong with a 24 year old man who seduces a child,he is the one at fault.He also broke the law and what he did with her was legally rape.If an underage girl has sex with an older man by law a yes doesn't count .Children aren't mature enough to decide something that serious.Men like that are called perverts.He took advantage of a mixed up child,thats a crime and a sin.Only a twisted view would think it's all the girls fault
---Darlene_1 on 9/18/05

It amazes me, the older guy's always at fault. A 16 year old knows better! I had a 13 year old hit on me and she knew I was over 30! If a guy truly rapes a girl, not the age issue, punish Him; but if she's willing, get off his back! All are subject to temptation! I'm 37, but I reserve sex for MARRIAGE! Yes, I'm still a virgin!!! One more thing, if I had a 16 year old daughter and a choice between the average teenage guy or a guy with morals in his twenties, I'd encourage her to date the guy with morals!
---Dan on 9/18/05

Elmer: In my state, a 26 year old having sex with a 16 year old is a crime and the girl is not at fault. She is a victim of poor parenting and the man who preyed on her.

Mary, call the cops and press charges. Put the 26 year old in jail where he belongs.
---Madison on 9/17/05

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Praise the Lord everyone. Thank you for everyones imput about this question. The Lord has answerd our Prayer, the x is not pressing charges and they all are going to go to cousloing at their church. You are all right the baby is the most important issue and my daughter. God is so Good. Mary
---Mary on 9/17/05

Why? it is the father's fault for letting this happen. You should press charges on both of the men. The father shouldn't. He is at fault. The more important thing is, is that your daughter is bringing a baby into this world that didn't ask to be born. that is the first and main priorty.
---Rebecca_D on 9/17/05

There is no sense in pressing charges now. The fault lies in your daughter's hands. She knew better and now there are consequences that must be dealt with. Just love her and the baby.
---elmer on 9/16/05

OK I do agree I should of done something before too. I tried for 12 years to raise this daughter without her father whail I was in a wheelchair. I did my best for her when she lived with me. I love this daughter very much, I did think about turning him in before but I still wanted the relationship with my daughter. That is why I did nothing. Now I am going to seek costody of her.
---mary on 9/16/05

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I would not wait for the father to press charges, I would call the sex crimes division of the local police department and press charges myself. Then I would call my lawyer and file for custody of the child.
---Madison on 9/16/05

DUH! Where was this fathers head? This was statutory rape. and i think the father should be held accountable as well as the 26 yr old man. Do give support to your daughter and get her Christian support and counsel. My prayers will be with you both
---Tsuanne on 9/16/05

In my opinion it's a little late to try to press charges. The father should've thought of that 2 years ago before the relationship started. The girl needs support and prayer as does the baby that didn't ask to be brought into this world.
---Sarah on 9/16/05

She is with him because she become violent with me some 3 years ago. I had no other choise to send her to him. Also they do go to church all the time. He said that God told him to turn the boy friend in. I am here to support her now.
---Mary on 9/16/05

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Right after you file charges against a grown man that had sex with a minor, take your daughter home with you, love her,support her and teach her to pray.
---Gail on 9/16/05

I must ask why did you allow her to date an older man the last two years?It's a little late to put the blame,and most of it may be his,on your husband when you knew it and did nothing to intervene.Now be there for her as never before.If she had a mother's guidence maybe this wouldn't have happened.You could have reported your Ex to the police for contributing to the deliquincy of a minor.Maybe you both need to be looked into.Sorry Mary you're not completely innocent in this.
---Darlene_1 on 9/16/05

Sounds like your daughters father needs charges brought against him as well for child neglect. Why where you not involved in this decision of dating for 2 yrs. If you want something done than step up and take responsibility. She is still your daughter too and always has been.
---Shaz on 9/16/05

The pregnacy is a fact. Instead of prosecuting the 26 year old, give him the choice of marrying the girl (legal in most states), or do time. The 16 yr old would not become another unwed & unemployed single mother. It would benefit both of them and the baby. As well as the tax-paying community.
---Jim on 9/16/05

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You need to be the parent support in this issue since the father has not looked after her very well, ie he should have gotten her into the local church and gotten her some help before all this. Now its your turn to help her! Do so!
---chuck on 9/16/05

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