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Do I Divorce Unfaithful Husband

What would you do if your husband has relationships outside marriage, never supports you emotional and financial and does not want a divorce? disturbed wife

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 ---Risper on 9/26/05
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1 cor. 5 v 11
---willa8985 on 2/17/08

I know how you feel. My husband swears up and down that he loves me and wants to save our marriage, but I find out that, at the same time he has a girlfriend. He's scandoulous. And yet, why is it still so hard to break those ties? I never thought I'd be the kind of woman who would put up with something like this. My friend thinks its Voodoo because he's from Haiti and "used to" be involved heavily. Of course he says he's not now but...
---caroline on 6/12/06

Of course he doesn't want a divorce! Why should he? After all, you are giving him "his cake and icing too". Maybe he doesn't want a divorce - but do you? You certainly have biblical grounds for it.
---WIVV on 2/27/06

Make sure you find a strong Christian man who is convicted by the Word of God. God is the glue that sticks a marriage together. Both ends must believe in God fervently and although the devil may attack with (lust, sexual immorality,porn, etc), he will be able to stand strong in Christ and be faithful to you.
---linda on 10/26/05

I would pray to God, always pray before being apt to making decisions. If God gives you a peace inside your heart about the decision you finalized, then proceed forward with that decision. It's never too late to find the right one for you. But make sure you get rid of all the pain and hurt and emotional parts and give it to God. Give it all to God. I promise you, HIS love is much greater than any love that a man can give you.
---Linda on 10/26/05

The fact that he doesn't want a divorce doesn't come into this at all. He has already done what he wanted - committed adultery. That puts the ball firmly in your court so you can now do what you want to do. If divorce is what you want then go for it. Stay in the home for now (he's the one that left) or you might lose some of the things that are rightfully yours. Get legal advice a.s.a.p.
---Xanthi on 9/28/05

in the eyes of God you can biblically get a divorce.( he cant stop you from divorcing him with the way the laws are now days you dont even have to have a reason.)he has shown you that he isnt going to stop. he sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. you have a biblical right to divorce its up to you to make that choice. if you do..dont look back , press forward , better times will come if you trust in the Lord and leave it at his feet.
---Jan4876 on 9/27/05

Bethany, Ralph, and WVV are right on the mark! I'm sorry this was done to you. Don't move out; you'll lose your rights. Jesus will be your husband, and your children's Father. It'll be a very difficult decision, but be whole in Christ, and for your children, you can find strength in Christ for judicial action against him. Pray, my sweet one in Christ, don't hold any anger or malice against him. Forgive and be free in Christ without him. Seek out Christian family/friends for moral support. God loves you!
---Darlene on 9/27/05

Finally, you are 'emotionally' attached to countless memories of this marriage, is it never an easy road to divorce, its painful, however, the courage it takes to divorce, must be supported from those who love you unconditionally as Christ loves you.

When you know God, you know Peace, where there is no Peace, there is no God - rest in His arms today, He will lead you, He is faithful, His mercies are new every morning, Romans 5.5 is great scripture for your heart to lean into for the time being.
---bethany on 9/27/05

cont'd, also let the wisdom in your mind, and the love of God in your heart lead you to choices to regain the joy you are absent of, for now. Hosea and Gomer's story, is wonderful, a story that God used to show His love for Israel, however, Hosea was annointed with the obedience to do as God asked him.

Forgiveness, is a choice. If you forgive this man, you are still, by what you say emotionally, finanically and spiritually bankrupt, and that is not the kind of husband anyone would deserve.
---bethany on 9/27/05

Jesus stated to give 'wives a Certificate of Divorce' if a man was mistreating them or sexually unfaitful - you are human and deserve an abundant life that Christ's promises in His word.

Respecting yourself, sometimes, for some, is necessary to 'legally' divorce from someone, perhaps God was never in between this marriage, I mean, this man was'nt God's best choice for you. I encourage you to learn from the experiences.
---bethany on 9/27/05

I know what I would do (the next time he saw me would be across a courtroom as I made a case for a divorce), but you have to do what you feel God leading you to do.
---Heather on 9/27/05

I haven't been married, but if it were me in this position, I would opt for the divorce. In my state, you get 10 days in jail for cracking him over the head with an iron skillet!
---julie3763 on 9/26/05

Contrary to some other advice, do not move out. You will lose the upper hand if you do. Have an attorney serve him with divorce papers on the grounds of adultery. Whether or not he wants a divorce is immaterial. He ended the marriage long ago by cavorting with other women so all that is really left is the paperwork.
---ralph7477 on 9/26/05

He's got everything he wants - so it easy to understand why he doesn't want a divorce.) From a Biblical perspective, you can divorce him - but this may not be you best route to take. Try being more agressive - for example contact a law firm and see what rights you have as his wife. If this doesn't work, than threaten him with divorce, but be in a position to follow-through. (If you don't get more aggressive, he will continue to just "walk" all over you.)
---WIVV on 9/26/05

Sounds like some good strong Christian councelling and much prayer is needed. He can not expect you to just sit back and take what he is doing. My ex abandoned my son and I and was living with other women, but did not want a divorce. I was just supposed to wait for him. You are a valuable himan being and need to look after yourself. God loves you and does not want you to be hurt this way. Pray and ask God to show you what to do.
---Marla on 9/26/05

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The big question is what do you want to do about it?You don't need my permission or anyone elses to do what you already know in your heart you want to do.Get in touch with your true feelings,desires and be honest with yourself about what you think of a lazy,insenstive,cheating man.I didn't say husband because he isn't being one to you.Pray God gives you strength and then know you are free to decide and do what you feel is right for you.Any woman deserves better than what you have-Heartache.
---Darlene_1 on 9/26/05

Get a lawyer and move out, that is what I would do.
---Madison on 9/26/05

1) Keep your guard up, you're a woman with feelings & ripe for a fall.

2) Prayerfully confront him about everything you've posted [unbelievably, some of us men "do what a man has to do" according to our/his hormones or ego's], simply ignorant of women's corpus morendi.

3) Sometimes "cold water in the face works wonders", like reading them their rights with no (or little) room for error!

God's Best.
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 9/26/05

I think it is the same reason my husband does not want to leave. It is because we support them financially. Why should they want to leave? If you want to talk, I am at annie4863
---Annie on 9/26/05

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