My Fiance Was Caught
My fiance is communicating on pc and phone to another lady, he has done this secretly, until I found messages on the answer phone, the messages from her were a little flirtatious. I feel I have lost my trust in him. Am I over reacting?
Moderator - Break the engagement immediately.
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---jenny on 9/28/05
Helpful Blog Vote (10)
NO, you are NOT over reacting. If he is doing this when you are engaged it can only get worse. I learnt too late in my marraige that I should listen to instincts, not keep thinking things would change if I only tried harder or loved more.
Makes no different what you do in the relationship if he is flirting and talking to another now he could be doing more than talking with them after marraige and believe me if you can save yourself the pain now before you say I do then it is the best to let him go.
---Marla on 6/25/08|
I would first ask a few questions. The young woman may have been flirtatious but that could only be her. Maybe he did not flirt back. Sometimes others are flirtatious first without our participation. I would discuss it with him and with your pre-marriage counselor. And if you have no pre-marriage counselor GET ONE!
---rache on 10/2/07|
I'm glad he's been caught now before the wedding. Anyone who is that deceitful before will almost certainly do it after. My daughter's husband was caught doing exactly that and now they are divorced.
---Xanthi on 3/23/07|
Read 1corintians5:11. I know it hurts but break the engagement, friendly, politely then pray for him and recommend him to pray for himself because i believe that caracter is more easily changed by prayer than by anything else! Afterwards, ask the Lord, our savior and redeemer to give you peace of mind. Be blessed my sister!
---KALIGIRWA on 9/29/05|
You must have wisdom,and not only have wisdom;you must use wisdom. The bible says a tree is known by the fruit it bears. So if this relationship is weeding out all the flaws now, then you see what it will be like in the future ahead. I have one question for you. "Is this really what you want."
---antha3633 on 9/28/05|
Time to move on! If he's doing this now, when his behavoir is at it's best, what do you think it will be like once marred to him?
Forget him - don't offer him a second chance!
---WIVV on 9/28/05|
If this is what you have found out what have you NOT found out? Act accordingly. Tell him Marshall Dillion said, "Get outta town."
---Elder on 9/28/05|
Follow the moderator's wise advise.
---Eloia_N_KS on 9/28/05|
Since you are already engaged, this behaviour is clear evidence that your fiance is playing games with you. I agree to the moderator's comment: Brake the engagement immediately. And do not be persuaded later that it had been just harmless or so. If it starts like this, be assured there'd be much worse to come!
---Gretchen on 9/28/05|
First, I am sorry for your troubles and I have prayed for God to lift you up in spirit. Infidelity or even the appearance of infidelity screams warning signs of an unbiblical attitude. I think if he is truly repentent and not just claiming repentence, then things can be salvaged but you caught him, he didn't come to you of his own accord. I agree with the moderator.
---rex8683 on 9/28/05|
Look, I am a guy that experienced the same situation with 2 girlfriends (they cheated on me). So, I think that I know what I am talking about when I say that the best thing that you can do is to break up wit him. Believe me, he is cheating and he will cheat again.. I know it is hard, but he is not the right person for you. I would never do that to a girl that I truly love... would you?
---Alex on 9/28/05|
Why would you stay with someone like that? I would suggest finding someone new. I would not think if someone did that with a fiance, why would they stop when they are married. Good Luck.
---geraa7578 on 9/28/05|
Over- reacting!!!You mean you did not kill him. If he were a casual acquaintence, that is his problem. He is the person you are devoting the rest of your life and future to. He has proven himself unworthy by stepping over the line of respect and trust. No relationship can endure without them. You have fair warning of what will happen again and again. Some habits do not change. Cheating is #1.
---chuck on 9/28/05|
what do you mean a little flirtatious? my fiance has many friends that are girls he talk to them all the time but i know they are only friends he loves me as a girlfriend/wife he loves them as friend please before you break it off that you talk to him and seek God cause if he is the one for you and you break it off over something that is not real then you may lose him forever i almost lost mine for different reasons but if you would like to talk further right me here at andre9789
---andre9789 on 9/28/05|
Engagement=commitment, if he is not mature enough to commit, RUN!! If he is unfaithful now, you have a miserable life ahead! You deserve better than that.
---pat on 9/28/05|
You must cease this relationship immediately. It is not a proper basis to enter into a marriage covenant.
---Chris on 9/28/05|
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NO! You are not over reacting. Be very thankful you found out now and not after you married him!
---Bruce5656 on 9/28/05|