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My Mom Rarely Takes A Bath

My mom takes a bath very rarely. In what loveble way can I tell her to do then more often because, I can't stand the smell when I am around her. Once she said it doesn't bother her, but what about the others.

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 ---Anon on 10/3/05
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May I suggest a bathtub crane that would safely deposit her in the tub?
The handicapped use them.
A regular dunking would be in order.
Or simply take her to the car wash.

Not bathing is a symptom of depression.
---Bigfoot on 12/27/07

Older folks dont need to bath completely every day. I myself just go swimming every 6 days and that along with personal washing is plenty to keep from smelling or itching ! Im now 65 yrs old. This should be on the web somewhere esp now that we are in a serious drought.!! Best, berry
---berry on 12/4/07

I would go half way to agreeing with Alan. I don't think we are anywhere near as aware of our own body odour as we are of that of someone else, but most of us are aware of it nevertheless. The one problem that I think we are often unaware of in ourselves but very sensitive to in others is halitosis. I repeatendly ask my family if my breath smells O.K. because I find offensive breath in others makes me feel ill.
---M.A. on 11/5/05

Alan of UK..Sorry but you are incorrect about our inabiltiy to smell our own body odors. I KNOW when I need to bathe. Maybe my sense of smell is better than yours?
---anonomous on 11/4/05

Buy her some soap, shampoo and conditioner, and some deodorant. Give it to her and tell her that proper hygiene is to bathe or shower at least once per day, otherwise you develop a sour odor and become offensive and intolerable to others. Also, sometimes old people get alzheimers disease, which is absent-mindedness.
---Eloy on 11/1/05

Anonymous ... Unfortunately, however good a sense of smell you have, you do not smell your own body odour!
It does need someone else to tell the Mum here.
---alan8869_of_UK on 10/31/05

you are right about that one 'Anon' standing next to a smelly individuel in church ( and those who also take off their shoes and disrupt the sermon) is tantamount to getting stuck behind a JCB in traffic with a trail of vehicles behind you and unable to overtake on a bend LOL!!!!!
---susanna on 10/31/05

Have a friend that I was rooming with that had the same problem. He was working in the steel mills and would stay at a local hotel where he worked until his days off when he came home. He had worked 7 days of 12 hours straight and was home just in time for Christmas Eve and church service. All he did was spray lisol (sp?) over his body and under his arm pits.

Talked with his Pastor's wife that night, she had a nice LONG talk with him.
---David7647 on 10/31/05

Does your mom have a normal sense of smell? Some people are born unable to smell much at all. My wife is one of those people. I tell her things like: " Lets bathe together. Or: You smell so wonderfully after a bath. It really turns me on!"
---anonymous on 10/31/05

Anon, is it possible that your mother may suffer from depression? Not bathing is a good sign of depression, not caring about oneself. Think of other things in her behavior that might indicate illness.
---Nellah on 10/10/05

I think if you buy her some nice products to use in the bath and tell her you and others would like her to use them and that it will make her more feminine and desirable, it just might work. Or, else, don't take a bath yourself and exercise and have a friend berate you for it and then go and clean up and have your friend praise you for it in her presence, that might do it. Let us know how this works. n.s.5684
---Nancy on 10/9/05

Honey, it would be helpful telling us her age group. The elderly can fear water, falling, or have a health issue you don't know about. Who would she most likely tell her inner-most feelings or secrets to? Any age 30+ could suffer from depression, alzheimers, other brain-related diseases, or part of menopause. Before the 1960's, Sat. night was bath time to get ready for Sunday morning. Age group of mom would help us to understand better.
---Darlene on 10/6/05

Would you rather she hears that she smells from you or a stranger? Or how about some rude teenagers she walks by in a store who loudly make fun of her? You are going to have to be firmly honest with her. In my opinion, there probably is some underlying depression going on. You might want to have that checked out.
---Becca on 10/5/05

She can be forgiven since she is old. The ones that cant be forgiven are the people that juz dont care of their bodies. The ones that irritate others with their smelly mouths, armpits and body odour at large! The ones that remove their shoes in the church and their smelly feet disrupts the sermon!
---anon on 10/5/05

Our mother asked us to always tell her if she didn't smell nice. Las t time I saw her I had to do just that. It wasn't easy and I was careful how i worded things but shesaid she was grateful because all other family members had said there wasn;t a problem even though she thought there was. Other family members now say I was insensitive and shouldn't have said anything. Sometimes you just can't win.
---M.P. on 10/5/05

just tell her the truth
---graham on 10/4/05

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Juz tell her the truth. How about, 'Mom, you have to take a bath more often, you are smelly and it is bothering me and everyone else!
---emma4399 on 10/4/05

"Why not?" Maybe that should be your first question to her. (She may be afraid of water) It would be doubtful if she would listen to you since you are her daughter. (It would be a reversal of roles - she told you what to do as a child - so why should she listen to her child now?) Contact a close friend of hers, or her doctor. She may listen to them. As a rule, women are much more "bath" minded then men. Find out "why" she not bathing.
---WIVV on 10/4/05

Your Mom may have a fear of falling in the tub or shower or perhaps when in the tub she can't get up, to get out.There's inexpensive seats you can get to put in tub or shower.For tub there is one which comes outside the tub,sits partly on floor and lets the person transfer into tub sitting down.Just adapt water source/showerhead with handheld showerhead.Maybe ask her if she's afraid she'll fall.Older people often have fears they don't voice.
---Darlene_1 on 10/4/05

There is no gentle way to deal with this problem. This call for a crisis intervention kit containing, bar of Dial soap, and a long handle bath scrub brush, bottle of shampoo and famine deodorant spray. Use greeting card software to make one with the following verse:

Mom, your BO is offensive
But we love you just the same
But for our sake and others
Take a long hot tub bath, use these gifts
And run that odder down the drain
---Phil_the_Elder on 10/4/05

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Your mom may have a hard time getting in/out of tub.She may need the assistance of an in home nurse or P/T to help her out.Has she been to the doctor lately?You may want to go that route.It's not easy taking care of aging parents....GOd Bless
---missy on 10/4/05

LOL that is funny Steve, I worry about that too but I just dont peek because I dont want to stink. My ex wouldnt bathe, so I told him he don't touch me till he showers. He started showering at least once a day! His mothers ex said she only bathes when the dirt in the cracks started bothering her too much. Some people just don't care. They get immune to the smell. Just like people that smoke, they dont realize they stink and need to bathe after every cigarette.
---pat on 10/3/05

Good luck. My mom I guess is still upset and has a don't carish attitued at times because she was always independent then got glucoma and didn't want surgrey so she went blind completly, over 5 yrs ago about.
---judith4846 on 10/3/05

I know what you mean mine is the same way but blind and sturbon. My did even has a hard time getting her to take a proper bath she would wash in the bathroon sink every other day. I would often fill the tub with bubbly sweet scented warm water a bit extra water, set a towel and sweetly call her in letting her know that it is already set up and we don't want to waste a whole tub of water. I do this after my shower so she can't tell me to use it for my self. I will admit we have argued over it before this.
---judith4846 on 10/3/05

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, the pilgrims who came over to america only bathed once a year, because they were worried about seeing their own nudity. it's true, i read it somewhere.
---steve on 10/3/05

How old is your mother? I work in geriatrics and I know that a few of them are afraid of water. It could be that she is afraid to tell you that she is afraid. It helps if someone gives them a sponge bath. Maybe you should consider a in home care service that could help her with that.
---Kate on 10/3/05

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