Boyfriend Writes Other Girls
I don't feel comfortable when my boyfriend writes to other female. I know he loves me and I trust him, but I can't trust other females even though they're Christians. Am I too jealous? :-(I have some bad experience that my ex cheated on me before.
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---Laura on 10/10/05
Helpful Blog Vote (12)
People like that are NOT trustworthy. Dont kid yourself. Time to dump him or else youll regret it later on.
My ex used to say that her friends were all guys because she doesnt get along with women. She was a HUGE flirt.
To which I responded "Well, how do you expect to get along with women when you act like you wanna sleep with their men? Would you wanna be friends with a woman that wanted me to lust after HER?"
---JackB on 11/27/09|
My advice is quite simple,search your heart,what is god saying to you? now read 1st Corinthians 13 from vs 4, do you love him? does he love you? are you or him ready to love? or do you need to grow first? when you draw near to love then love will draw near to you and you wont have to be anxious about anything.
---beany on 11/27/09|
I feel the exact same way!!
---Kristy on 11/26/09|
Big HUGE red flag!!
---melanie on 5/26/08|
Tell him it bothers you, and ask him how he would feel if you wrote to other men. You need to have trust in your relationship, and it doesn't sound like the trust is there.
---Annie on 5/26/08|
please let your boyfriend know it bothers you
when he writes to other christian female friends. I dated a guy once he was calling his christian female on the phone I found out confronted him he wouldn't say nothing s oi left
---Angela on 6/20/07|
You need to tell him that you dont feel comfortable with him writing to other females. And tell him why.
---Katherine on 11/8/05|
no he should not be writing to other females, he should be spending time with you, i think you should take a careful look at your relationship. if you are planning to marry, there is noway this kind of behaviour can continue
---susanna on 11/8/05|
Laura, you are being too jealous. Is there evidence of cheating in that correspondence.
One has to trust instinct, but to what degree? Enough to inquire further, maybe, enough to condemn him, no.
Many previous answers followed this notion: if he even looks at another woman, leave him! This isn't very christian, one may look at others with kindness or friendship. Is he not allowed to have friends? Are you? Only of the same sex? Where is this trust you profess?
---jergas on 11/6/05|
Dont blame the others girls as you are not dating them. Obviously he is seeking something that is not present in your relationship. If he knew these girls before he met you and is friends with them then that is ok. Love can be blind so take off the blindfold. Respect yourself and dump him.
---ANGELA on 10/13/05|
If U cannot trust then U R not ready to be in a relationship,take time to get over the bad experience that U went through before U put someone through a bad experience by your own hand
---missy on 10/12/05|
Even though U had a bad experience in the past U will continue to have bad experiences if there is no trust.U R being too jealous and it will hurt UR future relationships.I've been there and it's not a fun place to be sitting next to the big green monster,I couldn't even have EYE CONTACT w/others.Do U want a relationship like that?
---missy on 10/12/05|
Say, how is he supposed to know how SPECIAL you are if he don't compare you with other people?!
---Lily9364 on 10/11/05|
If cheating has happened before for you, then jealousy is expected, but try to change that. Let him know it bothers you and ask to read the letters just to see for yourself if something is not right. Be strong and keep your head up, because if he's not being true to you, at least you can be strong enough to leave before it gets worse, your in my prayers.
---Michelle on 10/11/05|
Why does your boyfriend write other girls? How serious is your relationship with him? If it's serious, you should ask him to stop. If he doesn't drop him. If he's doing it now, he'll probably do it after you are married! By the way, the divorce rate among Christians is 55% - so being a Christian doesn't automatically mean he doesn't have a "roving eye".
---WIVV on 10/10/05|
no I do not think you are too jealous worrying about it. My ex used to write to other women as well and something I wish I would have done was to always TRUST MY INSTINCTS. If this is a worry now then you need to nip it in the butt before relationship goes any further. This issue has broken up many marraiges. Do not let it get to that stage. Communicate your feelings truthfully to your b/f and see what reaction is. If he refuses to value your feelings than you have an answer as to your future with him.
---M. on 10/10/05|
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What is his purpose for writing them?
Does he let you read the letters?
Please tell us your age. If he is just your boyfriend there is not much danger.
---Elder on 10/10/05|
What kinds of things does he write to her, and she to him? Years ago I dated a guy and was supposed to marry him, until I found emails that he printed out. They were very sexual in nature. I dumped him like a bad habit!
---Melissa on 10/10/05|