I Feel Guilty After An Affair
I backslide and had an affair, then realised I needed God more than anything. Told the guy and he accepted to stop the relationship on condition we spend 1 night together, which we did. But now I regret and feel unforgiven by God. I have repented but this keeps coming back as a sin I am holding.
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---mildred on 10/11/05
Helpful Blog Vote (11)
It is not good to keep secrets from your spouse. What if he or she finds out by themselves? Although telling that you had an affair might end your marriage, not telling puts a strain on you and could result in illness. And she or he might find out anyway. The chances of forgiveness are higher if you confess. If you add deceit to adultery, then there is no real chance of forgiveness or of repairing the marriage. God will make sure it all works out for the best, if you are honest about your sins.
---frances008 on 10/14/08|
Repentance is PAINFUL! It's not just telling God you are sorry. It is crying out from a broken heart, hating what you have done, sickened by the thought of hurting the Savior (and anyone else who might have been hurt)If you have really repented you know what I mean!
The Devil wants you continually repenting, tortured by guilt. He doesn't want you to believe that God has truly forgiven you and that He values you as much as ever.
Keep Reminding yourself: (Psa 103:12) As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
(Jn 6:37) him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.
(it may help to confess to a kindly, mature, objective Christian woman, who will keep your confidence)
---Donna66 on 10/14/08|
Mildred, repent again. Every time that any past wrong which you have done comes up to your mind, just repent to God and ask Jesus to forgive you of that wrong. When we are faithful and just in our repentance, then he is faithful and just to forgive us of our wrong. When you go up to God in prayer and beg his forgiveness for something that you know was wrong, and you really are sorry for the wrong, God will forgive you, Jesus does not want you to walk around in defeat and guilt. You go to God and make it right, and he will help you to right. God is not a parent whom wants to see his children doing wrong and perishing, but instead doing right and being blessed. He says, "Go and sin no more".
---Eloy on 10/13/08|
If you haven't confessed this to your wife then you haven't truely repented. You sinned against God AND HER. You can make all the excuses that you want NOT to tell her but in the end it comes down to selfishness. It would devistate her and your families? Yes, it will, sin tends to do that. It tends to have devistating consiquences. A secret like this will be a sinful cancer in your marriage that will result in its death. Talk to your Pastor, get his council and accountability and he will help lead you through this. And remember, it is your job to live without blame and confess to your wife, its HER job to handle your confession in a Godly manner
---Robert on 10/12/08|
This guy is sorry as they come. He used you and your emotions to get what he wanted. If you wanted the relationship to stop, you should have just stopped it. You don't owe him an explanation. You sinned against God knowing it was wrong, but God still forgives. You may not forgive yourself, but God does forgive.
---shira_5965 on 10/10/08|
You first must repent form the heart and believe you have been forgiven. Read 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God's word is true and faithful. It is noting but Satan reminding you of your past.
---denna7667 on 9/4/07|
Your sin has been separated from you as far as the east is from the west. God has forgiven you and Loves you. You must stop beating yourself up. Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. Read your Bible, pray, worship. You must give up the guilt and forgive yourself. Its over. Move on. Youre in my prayers.
---jody_martin on 9/4/07|
Mildred::"To err is human to forgive Divine"This is based on your contrition known only to God.The guilt you feel is there to serve as a reminder.If you were catholic I would suggest Confession.You confess to Jesus & He forgives .To hear the words "GO in the peace of Christ to love and serve the Lord" is very elevating.You feel renewed and gives New Life .
---Emcee on 9/4/07|
i have gone through almost the exact same thing. it has been a month and im still sick with guilt, i could never confess it to my spouse because it would ruin all of our lives not to mention devastate both families.
---chris on 9/4/07|
Mildred, your greatest sin was when you spent that "1 night together" after realising that you needed to stop. You say that you have repented, but do you fully understand what that means? You need to turn your life back to God, fully, and you need to make right what you did wrong. I urge you to speak to you pastor on the subject and, if you are married, seek reconciliation with your husband. Make certain that you have severed all ties with the man you had an affair with.
---lorra8574 on 5/21/07|
catherine, that was spot on.
You can repent, ask forgiveness, but your relationship with God may be different.
The closeness, His presence, may change. Another example of why OSAS is not true. Do you think you can get away with grevious sin, no repentance, and still be chosen?
catherine, as harsh as that will sound to some, it's absolutely the truth. God may not use you in the same way He once did ever again. Think about fallen preachers, how many make a full comeback?
---Perry on 5/21/07|
Many people fall into temptation. feel remorse and promise God never to do it again. in return we feel forgiven and God forgives us. that is repentence. however, if you commit that sin again, all your previous sins return to you. you went through the motions, you did not repent. sin no more means exactly that. never commit adultery again ever. example: someone takes a drink, they feel remorse and never drink again. someone else says sorry but keeps drinking. alcoholism results and their lives shatter.
---ashley on 5/21/07|
KNOW THIS WITH CERAINTY God forgave you of all.You are clean. You are listening to a lie from HELL. God has forgotten the sin but MUST FORGIVE YOURSELF. You need your FAITH back by Knowing in faith that HE who has Promissed to forgive has done it and Praise Him outloud using Jesus Powerful name until you believe it and forgive yourself. Also seek him.Draw close and he will draw close to you.
---jody on 5/21/07|
Sexual sins is one of the deadly sins. I will not suger kote. There are some things that true believers should not even consider and that is one. Christ will forgive you this is true,but things between you and God may never be the same. David is a good example. Always war in his house after his affair. For all true believers, don't do it.>>> Linda, I also liked what you wrote. Good day.
---catherine on 5/21/07|
Jesus didn't just say, "Go and sin no more". He said, "NEITHER do I condemn thee; go and sin no more." The power for that woman to go and sin no more was found in the "neither do I condemn thee." Jesus had just got rid of all of her accusers and the One left standing and able to cast a stone at her didn't condemn her. If you can answer the question of "where are your accusers", you won't have a problem with condemnation anymore.
---Linda on 5/21/07|
I've seen this type of thing so many times. You absolutely must be resolved to break any and all communications, no matter how seemingly innocent they are. You have to do this or you will find yourself compromising and getting caught up in your sinful desires and emotions again. Yes, God forgives but the devil wants to destroy, not only you but those around you who will find out and lose their trust in you.
---john on 5/21/07|
Simply, Jesus said: "Go, and sin no more."
God bless you!
---Kat on 5/21/07|
You should feel guilty for what you did, but: 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. The devil uses this to keep you from moving on. Study this verse, pray about it, meditate on it.
---Rev_Herb on 5/20/07|
What you did was wrong from the start0the guy did not blackmail-if you so badly wanted to stop you would not have let him have one more time unless it was something you wanted as well. I just hope you can fix the bridges you have detroyed with your affair.
---Charles_Tarkington on 10/17/05|
We all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God. I am sorry that you have not allowed yourself to forgive yourself.
If you have repented - God has forgiven you and you need to forgive yourself. Don't allow the enemy to keep you in bondage.
God loves you. And I pray that you find the ability to let go of this.
---Petruska on 10/11/05|
The fact that you feel guilty means you know you did the wrong thing and you're listening to God and that's a good thing, but once you've prayed and earnestly repented to God, you're (we all are) supposed to let it go. Not forget it, but don't let the sin worry you any longer, God's grace and forgivemess is immediate and permanent. Try to take comfort in that fact.
---Heather on 10/11/05|
If you feel guilty that is a good thing as it shows your conscience is still active. It also reveals that the Holy Spirit can speak to you. According to the Bible having sex before marriage is a sin and God has not changed. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Get into the Word and study. Find a Bible Study group and study. The closer you are to God the better He can help you though all of this. Find a friend and confess to her and ask her help. Pray and study.
---Esther_Mae on 10/11/05|
That guy was a RAT. No, worse.
He blackmailed you into sleeping with him one last time. He said, I will not let you go unless you sleep with me. What a RAT
A pity you were not strong to say No, but as others have told you, God has forgiven you. Try to accept that, then forgive yourself.
---alan8869_of_UK on 10/11/05|
Satin loves to keep us feeling guilty for what we have done but this is what God says in: 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. See if you will only follow what God says you are free of what you have done. You may not for get what you have done and God dose not say you will for get but He prommises to for give you!
---Arnie on 10/11/05|