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My Daughter Or My Babysitter

My daughter is ten and she has had such a hard time with the babysitter! I keep getting these horror stories about mistreatment. My babysitter says that My daughter is happy when she is with her, but she always says "I hate it here, can I have a new babysitter? Who should I listen to?

Moderator - Ask your daughter what is wrong and go from there.

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 ---D.B on 10/12/05
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confront them in front of each other
---Jessica on 9/9/10

Been childcare provider 20+ yrs. Children who have sitter come to their home usually feel more content. She may feel uneasy in sitter's home. In sitter's home there may be rules, what can be touched or played with. In your home she would know the rules you have.
Listen to daughter. She is a child but knows why she "hates" it at sitters home. Sit down and gently talk about it. Treat her like her opinion matters. Then see if someone coming into your home would make her feel more at ease.
---Marla on 8/2/08

It seems as if your daughter goes to the baby-sitters hourse ("I don't like it here")
She would be more at ease in her own home, with her own family things and her toys and books around.
---alan8869_of_UK on 3/29/07

THERE IS a reason that your daughter feels the way that she does. She may be picking up on things that you are not. DO NOT ignore her pleadings, do some investigating. TRUST ME, you will REST MORE ASSURED if you look into this, than to ignore it. I learned to listen to my kids, especially at that age.
---colle9488 on 11/15/05

please write me at andre9789 i want to explain myself but there is not enough room on here to do it i too was abused but not by a babysitter and i do have a logic here
---andre9789 on 10/14/05

I don't think it would be a good idea to speak to them together. Your child says there is something wrong, the babysitter says there isn't. She isn't going to admit to anything just because you are all in one room together. Unless you are very skilled in cross-examination you will get nowhere and your child will feel frightened and intimidated and if your child is being harmed it will be even worse for her afterwards. If you don't know how to handle this get professional help.
---M.P. on 10/13/05

Please, please listen to your daughter! I was mistreated by a babysitter when I was younger, but my mom wouldn't believe me, and the babysitter eventually went to jail for the death of another child in her care!
---Melissa on 10/13/05

I was sexualy abused as a child from about the age of 7, maybe 8, till around 13. It was done by my next door neighbour who was also babysitting me. I did not undestand what he was doing, or that it was wrong.
Listen to your daughter, and if she is not happy with the babysitter, maybe she is scared to tell you the truth.
Mum used to say to me, "be a good boy and obey Chris2, so when he abused me and spanked me, I was obeying my mum.
---mike6553 on 10/13/05

Listen to your daughter. As for the babysitter, what do you think she would say? Of course she is going to say everything is fine. Trust your child.
---Annie on 10/13/05

The answer is obviously your daughter. Why would you question this?
---ANGELA on 10/13/05

Go to the police station and have a quiet talk with a police person/woman. There seem to be ways to find out about the activity to see if there is actually an abuse occuring. And some people use visual cell phones somehow in the house to check on their chidren at various time periods throughout the care time period.
---barbara67 on 10/13/05

i would have to say your daughter but you need to get both of them together and talk to both at the same time and the truth will have to come out this is tough is there any signs of physical mistreatment or is she saying it is mental or emotional the hidden abuse can is the worse because this child cant fight back and there is no evidence of the hidden abuse i was mentally and emotionally abused and i became very withdrawn best et get both together and talk to both at the same time
---andre9789 on 10/13/05

I would listen to your daughter.She is telling you how she feels,and if you want her to continue to be open with you when she is feeling uncomfortable this would be the best way to follow through and let her know that you are there for her.
---missy on 10/13/05

Love and time is the answer.Show your love not only to your daughter but also to your babysitter.Sit with the babysitter and talk to her like a friend.Give a priority to relationships rather than career.

Changing another babysitter may help if you will chose a believer babysitter.If the Holy Spirit convicts you to change babysitter,first check your attitude to radiate love to everyone. Love begets love!
---Amor on 10/13/05

"Horror stories about mistreatment" sounds much more serious than your daughter just not liking the person who looks after her. You must find out what is happening. Not all 'carers' are lovely caring people and some have been caught out by surveillance equipment which could only be done in your own home. Less extreme would be to change carer but a carer who mistreats a child (or an elderly person) would be best caught in the act and prevented from doing so again to anyone else.
---M.P. on 10/13/05

Pray hard & Trust your instincts as a mother. Your daughter's safety has to come first. If you have ANY doubts as to how your daughter is being cared for, find a new sitter! You will feel more at ease and you won't have to live with the guilt you would have if something tragic happened.
---Marilee on 10/12/05

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