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My Brother Got A Girl Pregnant

My 18 year old brother and his 19 year old girlfriend are gonna have a baby does he have to marry her? I know the Bible says that he took her virginity he should marry her but thats in the old test we go by new. Any ideas? Youth Pastor said that just because shes pregnant is no reason to rush into marriage.

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 ---angie on 10/26/05
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My comment was overlooked and not included here again. Must have been to truthful ---again. Oh well. So be it. It is hard for people to accept the truth. They would rather believe a lie.
---Robyn on 10/13/10

If you and your brother follow serve obey and worship the youth pastor then by all means listen to him

If your brother truly wants to serve the Father in Heaven then your brother should marry this girl creating a family for the child they created ...where does NT dismiss marriage? because there are no specific examples it's easier to follow societies mixed up immoral ways?

amazing how society now dictates two wrongs don't make a right leaving a child without the bonds of a family unit so the irresponsible parents can continue on with their lives as if nothing happened and the youth pastor professes "christianity"

and we wonder why children have no respect for marriage when today religious leaders don't
---Rhonda on 10/12/10

Cluny //This is NOT to say that each has his own responsibility to the child//

I think you left out a word?
---Pedant on 10/11/10

If she was good enough to sleep with she should be good enough to marry. It's not okay to just mess up another man's potential wife and then think you can just leave her to find someone else to mess up or live in marital harmony with a child left for the welfare state to look after. He made the bed he should be made to lay in it.

How ever the worst thing is that he should marry her and the child suffer, along with the woman. She would do better to eave before she end up with two or even more and still no marriage.Who knows if he'll stay, this is what happens when you date outside of Christian values.
---Carla on 10/11/10

\\It is very simple. He should marry her. Consider what God would want and simply do it!!! \\

Just because they have produced a baby, it does not follow that God wants them to spend the rest of their lives together.

This is NOT to say that each has his own responsibility to the child.
---Cluny on 10/11/10

It is very simple. He should marry her. Consider what God would want and simply do it!!!

Being concerned about one's own desires is selfish - and love is not selfish. Consider how this effects God and how it effects your child.
---Peter on 10/11/10

The Mosaic and Levitical laws have been fulfilled by Jesus, yes, but the laws were an extension of who God is. So yes, that OT law was set because if a woman was no longer a virgin and without a husband she was essentially without care and considered a harlot. Today we have other options and live in an open society. However, God's ideals still stand.

Yet, marriage is an agreement - not a trial run or dependent on happiness. Therefore, making a decision to marry because you want to raise children together is exactly that...there is no divorce when the kids leave. It does need thinking through but it is ALWAYS best that the child have his two parents raising him. I am a single mom, I can tell you that God's way is the BEST way.
---cathy on 7/9/09

Yes, people in situations like that need to get married and mean it. The Youth Pastor sounds like a heathen.
---Betty on 7/8/09

your youth pastor is wrong because in exodus 22,16 it talks about a man taking a virgin who is not his and sleeping with her it says when he does that he must pay a price to marry her
---andrew on 7/7/09

Your pastor is correct! Two wrongs do not make a right. Having a baby together is no guarantee of anything other than fertilty. It is certainly no basis for marriage in its self.
---Bruce5656 on 9/11/07

First they should tactfully ask for forgiveness. Second (and most important) would be to make avery attempt and effort to do what is best for the baby. Does this couple have long term possibilities??
---MrHasselblad on 10/30/05

Melissa: There is no need to apologize. I was not hurt by what you said. I guess you and I have had different experiences when it comes to getting married because of a pregnancy. I will always discourage a young couple from marrying just for the kids. It's okay that you and I disagree on this. The Lord is sovereign and will be glorified in our lives because we seek to minister on His behalf.
---Madison on 10/30/05

Sorry Madison, I wasn't trying to hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt anybody.
---Melissa on 10/28/05

Melissa: I was pregnant when I got married, we were both baby Christians, newly saved, and we got married. It was a miserable 25 years for both of us. He never trusted the Lord for our finances and our kids. I struggled with never feeling loved or accepted by him. He gave up 4 years ago and divorced me.

A baby should not be what triggers a wedding.
---Madison on 10/28/05

Madison,I understand your point, but that is not always the case. My husband and I got married for just that reason. He was a virgin and was desperate so he trapped me into sex. When I got pregnant, he stepped up and did the right thing and married me. We have been married 11 years now and are in love & very happy. With the Lord's help, it can work out. By the way, yes we are born again believers
---Melissa on 10/28/05

maybe I should have clarified, he recommitted and she is recently saved, they are doing very well financially w/out help from our dad or her parents, they are deeply in love they SAY yet still, i have a funky feeling, they both have excellent jobs and are going to college, they have all the support they could ever want from OUR family, needless to say her family hates us and doesnt want anything to do w/ us..BIG surprise! thanks 4 the advice!
---angie on 10/27/05

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Why is it that the ones that really need a baby dont get but the ones that dont want one get? I am juz wondering.
---emma on 10/27/05

Why are people yoking or mating before marriage? Whatever happen to keeping your clothes on until married, and then consummating the marriage afterward? Is there no such thing as sacred matrimony or blessed wedlock anymore? Or are we raising a country full of children born out of wedlock? Yes please, they should marry.
---Eloy on 10/27/05

We were in love and my girl friend was pregnant when we were still students at university so we got married and have a lovely daughter. Years later we "grew up" and then divorced but we are still friends and we both love our daughter. I do not regret a moment of the journey so you must follow your heart NOW cos life is a journey and you cannot predict the outcome of a decision down the road. All you can do is follow your heart and make the best choice at this junction.
---JB on 10/27/05

The youth pastor is correct. It would be a big mistake just to marry her because he got her pregnant. If he did marry her just because he got her pregnant, it wouldn't be long before they got divorced. This doesn't mean they can't get married, but for love, not because she's pregnant. It reads like a case of the harmones getting in the way of reason. Just because he doesn't marry her, doesn't relieve him of responsibilities, such as financial, etc.
---WIVV on 10/26/05

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Melissa: I have to disagree with what you said. I am sorry you had a negative experience growing up. Children who are being raised in homes where the parents got married because of a pregnancy are miserable. Just ask my three kids. They will tell you that the fighting and hostility that occurs is often too much to bear as a child. Putting two teenagers together and telling them to play house is not the answer. The children suffer enormously and it is not their fault.
---Madison on 10/26/05

Yes, he should marry her. This child needs two parents who are married to each other living in the same house. It isn't the child's fault he/she was concieved. They were interested in each other enough to have sex, so he needs to step up, marry her and take care of her and his child. I'm not saying single parenting is wrong or bad, I just know from experience that it is hard on the child. I was adopted, my mother was never married. It affected me greatly as I grew up.
---Melissa on 10/26/05

as a woman who conceived a child with someone i wasn't married to i believe that your pastor is giving great counsel. although at the time i didn't want to be labeled as an unwed mother, years later i thank God DAILY that i did not marry this man. what i did was wrong. i went through a rough time in my life, but covering up one sin with a marriage is setting yourself up for many unnecessary challenges down the road...
---vasha8347 on 10/26/05

2 wrongs don't make a right. What good is a marriage if it is destined to end up in divorce? I was the product of parents "staying together for the kids" and being the youngest and the last to leave home before they were finally free to divorce, I was stuck with the guilt, as if it is my fault for living that they had to suffer so long! Marriage if for love!
---PAT on 10/26/05

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They do not have to get married. Both are too young to support each other financially. Having a baby together is the worst reason in the world to get married. He should still be a part of the child's life and help in the decisions concerning the welfare of this little one, but marriage is not required.

If, after a few years to grow up, they still love each other, then they may be ready to marry.
---Madison on 10/26/05

What OT passage are you refering to John?
---Bruce5656 on 10/26/05

The pastor is correct. Marrying because one is pregnant is wrong. Marriages can not last if that is only reason for marriage. Marraige must be based on true love, honor and respect for one another. Do your Brother and g/f attend church? They should get some Christian councelling as they will have many hard decisions to make with baby on way. Getting right with God is a great 1st step for them both.
---Marla on 10/26/05

Is there something wrong with the advice in the Old Testament? God doesn't change. If anything, He would place even more responsiblity on us now that we are indwelled by the Holy Spirit. I say follow the Bible. Bro. John.
---john on 10/26/05

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your brother and this girl should not rush into marriage unless they truly love each other on the other hand he should support and help take care of this baby he should not leave it all up to her and no one person should have to raise a child alone she should be considerate and let him help with the baby it is both their responsibility if they are gonna continue having sex they do need to get married and make it Godly
---andre9789 on 10/26/05

I think its best for the child..and if we study the scriptures, the New Testamnet is the fulfilling of the Old..but pray and let the Lord lead you in what should happen !!
---Carl on 10/26/05

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