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How Married To A Non-Believer

Recently, my pastor wanted to know WHY I'm married to a non-believer, I explained that we got married before I was saved and I love him. He asked me how I can love a nonbeliever, he went on explaining how this will affect my salvation. Does he imply that I should leave my husband or what?

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 ---emma on 10/28/05
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"...For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes..." Luke 6:44 and "...But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law..."-- Gal 5:22-23 "...If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him...For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God has called us to peace..." 1Cor7:12-17
---noel on 3/5/10

God's greatest two commandments to us come from Dt 6:4 "...Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength...", and from Lv 19:18 " thy neighbor as thyself..." our road map to this love can be found in 1Cor13 "...Love is long suffering, love is kind, love is not jealous, love does not boast, love is not inflated. Love is not rude, love is not selfish, love is not irritable, love does not enumerate the evil. Love does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth Love covers all things, Love has faith for all things, Love hopes in all things, Love endures in all things...Love does not fail..." :
---noel on 3/5/10

All - I have been saved late last year, although my wife (a non believer) is wondering about the new me, I tell her I have been saved and she listens & supports me.
I have been praying to Lord Jesus that she will embrace him as well, I know one mission Jesus has given me is to bring my wife back to Him, God loves us all & wants all of his children to come home, this is the mission Jesus gives the saved, to sow seeds!!
---John on 2/1/09

You may want to ask your Pastor what He is implying and if he is implying divorce you may want to pray regarding this.
My husband is not a christian and I am I pray often and have close friends pray for Him as well.
And I do see small changes and I know God is working in his Heart. The best thing we can do is be a role model of christianity to our husbands.
---amanda on 11/10/07

No wander the churches is going to the dogs. When most of the congragation are not truly saved and most of your preachers are not truly saved, yet, you keep supporting them and the true Christians suffers and God's reputation is being dragged through the mud. And the media feeds on all of it.
---catherine on 6/11/07

WIVV: What christian service will be limited? Our services to God can never be limited. Regardless of what any preacher or anyone does. There is much to be done for Christ. Where in the world do you people get this type teaching from and from what church does this gospel come from?
---Robyn on 6/10/07

This preacher was out of line, first of all. He overstepped his authority with you. Be careful with him. A non believer is lovable and more lovable than many Christians. This will have some affect on your relationship with Jesus but only if you let it. Whatever he meant by these ungodly and unloving remarks,do not leave your spouse. He should have been encouraging you and not trying to tear you down. He sounds like a butcher to me. Not to be trusted.
---Robyn on 6/10/07

HE IS A FALSE PREACHER. And he should be concerned with his own salvation. The advice he gave is not the word of God. And YES, He was implying that you leave your husband. Only God should be the one who directs you, it is noone elses BUSINESS. And your case is different, sinse both was unsaved when married. I have got to tell you this kind of stuff makes me jumping angry.
---catherine on 6/10/07

It doesn't affect your salvation, unless your mate gets you to walk away from Christ, by making it too difficult to continue. I am also married to a non believer. There are decisions to make in a marriage, and you will want to decide God's way and he won't. It's hard to submit to, and follow a man who is not living according to God. He may seek Jesus, but the thing is how long to wait? You don't want to get into bondage, waiting. Fast & pray.
---Laura on 6/9/07

I'd think he would be encouraging you to pray and witness to your husband. but you never know, he may be wanting you to leave your husband, which would be unbiblical and wrong.
---Jared on 4/5/07

No, this Pastor is implying that he does not understand Scripture.
This Pastor deserves to be closely watched. It sounds like he has something else on his mind.
My suggestion to you is, whenever you are around this Pastor "feed" him with a long stick. In a Zoo, when they have a dangerous animal this is what they do.
Do not be by yourself with him and accept no private counseling from him.
Watch how he treats his wife.
---Elder on 4/3/07

First of all there are three reasons God allows divorce they are, abandonment, adultery and physical abuse. Obivously no one in there right mind would tell anyone to stay in a relationship when your being abused, not even God. Futhermore read the Word for yourself and ask God how to handle the situation. Instead of asking people on a Christian blog. A lot of Christians are under man made doctrines and traditions. Pray, God will speak to you.
---Ann on 6/15/06

Fear should have been a natural response because I had three children and didn't work, but it wasn't because of that Word that let me know that God Himself knew my situation intimately.
---Deborah on 10/29/05

We are each responsible for our own relationship with God and whether we seek His counsel and follow it. When I realized that he had made up his mind, I simply told him that I loved him and walked away. The comfort of the Scripture through the Holy Spirit came forth immediately as soon as I entered the house and brought me into rest before fear or condemnation could even get a word in edgewise.
---Deborah on 10/29/05

Emma, to believe that another is worth waiting on is a Godly attribute.

Shanah, the announcement that I was being left shocked me. It seemed to come out of nowhere at the time even though I knew my husband was much influenced by his natural family and his boss and took to heart their counsel. I did ask him why he was leaving and his responses always cast the blame on me to try to take the focus off of what was his hardness of heart.
---Deborah on 10/29/05

Stay away from this so called pastor. Hes polluting your mind against your husband. Consider changing churches. Your husband sounds like a 'nice' unsaved person infact better than many that claim salvation! I am praying for you sister.
---juz_a_friend_: on 10/29/05

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Thank you all for your responses. I have been wisened a little more. I am praying for my husband's salvation and I request you all to pray for us. I know God is going to deliver him at his own time and I am patient enough to wait. Though unsaved, Hes a good husband and father to our daughter and I intend to stick by him for avery long time :)
---Emma on 10/29/05

Shanah, if he wants to leave, let him go..and yes it means you can remarry. God Bless!
---a_friend on 10/28/05

He better not be suggesting you divorce your husband. Granted, your Christian service may be limited, (for example: I don't know of a mission board that will accept you) but, you are far from being "useless" as a Christian. Your primary responsibility at this point is to be a great wife and pray for your husband. (1 Corinthians 7:11; 1 Cororinthians 7:10 & Romans 7:2)
---WIVV on 10/28/05

Deborah: Thank you for your kind words. I had felt so torn about this. I felt I had to try everything I could to save the marriage anyway. I prayed, we talked (more like argued), I suggested counseling (he said no) and finally he said he just wants a dissolution because he has not loved me in a long time. It is hard to hear. He has since said maybe we should go to counseling, but he has also moved 2 hours away....
---Shanah on 10/28/05

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Shanah, the Scripture you speak of is the exact Scripture the Holy Ghost spoke to me the night I had an unbelieving husband tell me that he was leaving me. If the unbeliever desire to depart, let him depart. That isn't your hardness of heart; it's his.
---Deborah on 10/28/05

Linda: You say the only reason for divorce is adultery, but what if the unbelieving spouse leaves the believer? I am currently in that situation (6 months now) and feel that divorce is biblically "OK" in my situation.
---Shanah on 10/28/05

Read 1 Corinthians 7 there is some wise counsel on your situation. The only acceptable reason for divorce is adultery and even in that divorce is a last resort. Since your already married you need to stay where you are. Also your husband observing your devotion to God is the best witness to him. You would be endangering his future salvation if you leave him
---Linda on 10/28/05

You should be straight forward and ask him that question. But of course you shouldn't leave him. He will be won also. The love of God radiated from you will attract him.Read 1Peter 3.And 1 Cor.7 I will pray for you and him. I'm a pastor myself and find this to be the best time to lead a person to the Lord when someone very close has done the same thing.Your husband should see that you are even a better wife now than before.
---john on 10/28/05

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Your pastor is either very insensitive, or ignorant. Elder is right, steer clear of him. I would change churches myself.

The second great commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves.

My sister-in-law and brother were married before they became Christians. My sis was saved first, then my brother. Keep praying.
---Madison on 10/28/05

Elder, I do so always love to read your responses. I may not agree with all of them but the "picture" you give always leaves me laughing. Dry, spontaneous humor is just plain ol' funny even while getting the point across.
---Deborah on 10/28/05

Jesus loved a whole bunch of unbelievers when He laid down His life. I agree with Elder.
---Deborah on 10/28/05

Don't listen to that Pastor,he is wrong.The Bible says if married to a nonbeliever you remain married,unless the nonbeliever leaves,then you are free.No you don't leave your husband,if he gives you freedom to serve God, then although the relationship would be sweeter if he was a Christian,you have no reason to depart.Perhaps you need to evaluate that Pastor and Church to decide whether you should leave them for a church which teaches sounder doctrine which lines up with the Bible.
---Darlene_1 on 10/28/05

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I agree with Elder in what he is telling you what to do.
---Debbie23453 on 10/28/05

Elder, ha ha, that's really funny, but good advice.
---Eloy on 10/28/05

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