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My Boyfriend Is Skinner Than Me

My fiance is skinnier than me. I hate my looks. I have done everything I can to lose wait except quit eating. We were watching a movie with Katie Holmes and he said she even looks good in that and he goes well what do you expect she's Katie Holmes. It hurt my feelings am I being overly sensitive?

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 ---andre9789 on 11/4/05
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I think people worry about there appearance too much now days. I don't think it matters if you r overweight. have to love yourself
---steve on 7/17/08

i'm 16 and a size 14 and my boyfriend is the male equivilant of a 10 so it makes me feel bad, but he's really good about it since i told him how i feel.
tell him how you feel - maybe he can help you lose weight, it always helps if someone you trust is supporting you.
and quitting eating doesn't help anything - if anything you put on more weight, and it gets addictive.
good luck!
---katie on 12/28/07

If your boyfriend being skinner than you bothers you. Find a heavier boyfriend.
The next solution is to lose the weight. Quit eating so much. Cut back and exercise.The next solution. Learn to live with your size and love it. Be encouraged.
---Robyn on 8/22/07

There is noting wrong with being fat as such:

Proverbs 15:30:
"The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat."
(see also Isaiah 58:11)

Always think in terms of useful positive and constructive attitudes:

If you don't like being fat, don't think "I'm fat and ugly and need to lose weight".
Think "I'm fat and beautiful. But I'll feel even BETTER if a lose a few pounds!"
---Mark on 8/21/07

Unless I'm reading your question wrong, what your boyfriend said is true! Kate Holmes IS pretty and probably looks good no matter what she wears!
Who cares? You shouldn't. I've known pretty people that turned so ugly the longer I knew them. Then, I know some people that were ugly at first, but when I got to know them they got beautiful! Ask your fiance why he loves you.
---sue on 8/21/07

U should not be so hard on yourself, your boyfriend see somthing in you that you don't see. Your relationship is in danger. If you don't get a hold of yourself and stop being so insecure about your weight and do something about it, u just might lose him.
---Marcia on 8/21/07

I feel sorry for your BF, he obviously does not like the way you look, try some self control and better eating habits. Food can become addictive like smoking or drugs, everthing in moderation. Your body is the temple of God, treat it as so and you will feel better about yourself.
---Tara on 8/21/07

Fatten him up, that works every time. The way to a man's stomach is through his mouth.
Give that man some food, that'll shut him up.
---Bob on 8/20/07

Women come in all shapes and sizes, society puts too much pressure on women, it's really sad, reason why we women must choose sanity :D, not foolishness, let the Lord help you with that issue. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but you have to first love yourself for who you are, and if you are in Christ you are the apple of His Eye, (Proverbs 31:30,31). God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 8/20/07

i kno wat u ex was a little skinner than me. but do't feel bad about it.
joke around with him.
everyone needs to feel good in their own skin.
---jc on 8/20/07

As long as a person uses tactfulness and gentleness, there's nothing wrong in telling a love one to lose weight as long as its necessary. I encourage my wife monthly because I love her. I don't want her to get diabetes, hypertension, heart disease or some chronic illness. In return, she does the same for me. We help keep each other accountable so we can both live healthy long lives--the Lord willing! Believe me, when you don't take care of yourself, your health will manifest it.
---scifi_guy on 9/28/06

Vlad, that was a very Christian thing to say..
your empathy knows no breath or width...
---NurseRobert on 9/26/06

This is called control and manipulation. Run, run, run. It will not get better when you get married. Anyone that makes you hate yourself is not for you. He's not the one. End it. Don't date for a long while. Go to church, find a bible study, and reestablish your self-esteem. Without any self-esteem you will find another just like this one, wrapped up in a different package. Establish yourself in Jesus Christ, let Jesus pick your next boyfriend.
---R.A. on 9/25/06

If your fiance is making comments about your weight, then he is disrespecting you and you DO NOT deserve that. You are NOT being overly sensitive. I am a short, round lady, and my husband always tells me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am. God has blessed me with a wonderful Christian husband. Seek God's will in your relationship with your fiance.
---Mrs._Williams on 9/24/06

Oh Melissa, you have my sympathies! :( Your husband must be a real, pardon my french, S.O.B.! Shame on him! Is he a Christian? Does he know anything about love?! If anything, his attitude towards you must make you want to gain weight just to spite him; I feel for you dear!
---Mary on 9/24/06

Go throw out the junk food in your house now.

Walk, every 5 minutes stop and excerise, jumping jacks, sit ups, push ups are free. Move your body. Do something.

Do not listen to people that say beauty is within because they are giving you an excuse to be fat, not fit.

Get fit and enjoy a strong mind and body and this will lead to a good life.

Fat is lazy. Period.

Do not fill the vessel of life with life destroying fat.
---Vlad on 2/2/06

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Andre,true beauty comes from the inside,about the weight issue,if you want to lose weight you will,diets usually deprive you of certain foods which you will eventually crave.What does work is controlling portions you consume and exercise on a regular basis.As much as you can stay away from fast food it hinders your efforts to lose weight.I lost 60 pounds in a year,exercise and common sense works.Also don't compare yourself to others ,just do the best with what God gave you.You can do it,God bless you.
---russe9356 on 11/20/05

You have to love yourself first, then someone can love you back. Your boyfriend was insensitive to make a comment to you about another woman's body. He should love you just the way you are, if he does love you. I'd take a closer look at my relationship with him before I committed to marriage. Lose weight for yourself, not anyone else. God loves you just the way you are now. He created you.
---EJ on 11/8/05

No, you aren't being over sensitive. He is being selfish. My husband is a twig. He thinks everybody can look like him if they want to. For our entire 11 year marriage, he has told me I need to lose weight. I was always within the normal weight bracket for my height. I have just recently(within the past year) gained about 15 pounds due to "the change". No one but him thinks I look fat. He doesn't want to accept that people have different metabolisms. I just ignor it.
---Melissa on 11/7/05

okaay, is he with you for the sex or what?? i think that if he had a problem with being skinnier thatn you he wouldnt be with you, i doubt tat he just fell in love wiht your looks, personality is a much bigger part, dont worry so much about the physical part, you guys should be on level spiritually and emotionally..
---angie on 11/7/05

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God looks at the heart, not at the outside of your body.
---wes on 11/6/05

There are two ways to control wieght, (looking at the bottom line rather than the fact your boyfriend is thinner than you.) 1. Almost all weight can be related to the mind control.
2. A balanced intake of proper foods. (You can give the same diet both to the person you is underweight as you can for the person who is overweight. "Balance" is the key word.
But, no, he should not hurt your feelings - but does he know he is hurting your feelings?
---WIVV on 11/5/05

My wife, my son, and I all struggle with weight. I have "always" been overpleasently plump. My wife grew into her weight putting up with me. Our son has a medical disorder causing his overweightedness(new word). We have learned to joke about it. We all work to lose, then in times of stress gain. God had to have put us together for a reason. He doesn't make mistakes. We are a team. You might talk with your fiance seriously about your feelings AND HIS on the subject.
---mike_fl on 11/5/05

I walked the city route(post office)walking is the ONLY exercise you need to lose weight.... do it 3 or 4 times a day 20 min at a time. you can cut out food ,bread..candy ( which goes to the stomach) ...resting in between walks is the key,anything over 20 min.burn off body rest..and if you have the time walk MORE then 4 times a works, I got down to a bean pole and ate anything I wanted, (trying to make my self gain)
---Jan4876 on 11/5/05

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Unless there is a special medical condition, we should hate being truly fat--it is unhealthful--both physically and to our emotional well-being. The equation still is true that to put it on, it must go in. Physical exercise is a wonderful way to tone up the system. Concentrate on eating right, sleeping right, exercising right, and trusting in God. When you do this, your body will take care of itself.
---Wayne87 on 11/5/05

She was rejoicing in His love. She was not "slim" by any means, but just cooperating with God had given her a new sense of value, of self-esteem. He does not want to leave us where He finds us, but wants to remove that which is bad and give us only the good.

Some of us get very good "miles per gallon" out of every ounce of food we eat. Others can eat a ton and not gain a ounce.
---Wayne87 on 11/5/05

As Marla said, you must first accept yourself, for you are truly fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator--in other words special! A long-time friend of mine once came to visit with a friend of hers. I hardly noticed this friends weight because of her wonderful personality. The next time I saw her she remarked to me that she felt awful about her weight and was working on getting it off. A few months later she described how that God was working marvels for her, both physically and socially.
---Wayne87 on 11/5/05

My soon to be wife is very overweight. She too wishes to lose much of it. Although she would be healthier, I love her just as she is and I think she's beauitful. I don't think you're being overlysensitive. I think your boyfriend is being insensitive and verbally abusive. I have never made such comments to my fiancee.
---joe on 11/5/05

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please Quit thinking about your weight and how others look compared to you...

you could be with out a bf so he must see something in you... Look past your weight and see how wonderful you are in Christ...
(maybe I should listen to my own advise)
---tom6559 on 11/5/05

I agree with marla in that you have to accept yourself first.. please read proverbs 31.. "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings so that he will become more encouraging. If he is not, then maybe he is not for you. Remember God wants the VERY best for you. Not one of us are mediocre even though we may feel like that. Hold your head up high knowing that God is in control.
---natasha on 11/5/05

If the only thing he dislikes about you is your figure and weight, you might remind him that good cooks eat their favorite dishes. In German, poor means they have no meat on their bones. They are weak and susceptible to disease. Middle East potentates recieved their weight in gold. Hawaiian kings weighed the most. Only in America have we been suckered into "skinny is better". There are verses on gluttony and waste.
Boy friends are easier to change than good eating habits.
---chuck on 11/5/05

Yes U R being too sensitive.U have someone that has pledged their love to U,and wnts to spend the rest of their life w/U,not KH.Be happy w/who you R,love UR self,love what GOD has made U R PRECIOUS
---Missy on 11/5/05

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I would say yes, you probably are being overly sensitive. He is with you for a reason, and I am sure it is probably because he loves you. When we feel the way we do about our self, we tend to think others feel that way about us too. And thats where the trouble comes in at.
---a_friend on 11/4/05

we are constantly concerned with our looks because in the media and magazines they always show the skinny, glamour looking people. I am not skinny at all and I used to (and sometimes still)hide away and do not go out to meet people because of my weight. BUT, I am fearfully and wondrously made by God. He made me special and if someone can not accept me as I am then I am better off without them. Real love looks at inward not outward appearances. Before others can accept you, YOU have to accept yourself.
---Marla on 11/4/05

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