New Husband's Family Little Mean
I am an older woman and re-married about 6 months ago. His family is friendly to me, but drop little, mean remarks about me to my face. This is very hurtful since my family has gone out of their way to make my husband part of the family. Any suggestions on how to handle this and not be mean to them?
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---Wendy on 11/11/05
Helpful Blog Vote (6)
Pray for them. Are they saved? If not tell them about Jesus.
---wes on 12/13/07|
BLOW their minds; when it happens just say, "oh my your saying that hurts me so much" ---mima 11/11/2005
---mima on 4/1/07|
Oooh,I've been there! His family is looking to engage you so don't do it!! As DoryLory says, be distinctive by giving compliments, small gifts - homemade foods work really well if you cook. And, keep smiling, be cheerful even when you don't feel like it. When they know they can't break you/tear you down, they'll respect you and Know you're family...it took over 1.5 years but it is much better than what it was.
---Liz on 11/22/05|
Wendy,I wrote below,but I feel I must tell you to let your husband be the leader in your home and deal with his family.His opinion will have more weight with them,and perhaps the Lord just wants him to make a stand for you.Blessings,
---lovable_linda on 11/19/05|
These remarks are made when my husband isn't around. Last week, it was "My, you are so skinny, are you sick?". I'm just thin. None of them are saved and truly lack social graces. Hubby has offered to talk to them, but I'd like to handle it myself and do it in a kind and loving way.
---Wendy on 11/13/05|
Pray for these people and as hard as it may be ignore them. What's in your is much stronger than what's in them. Remember too, we aren't fighting each other, we fighting principalities, bind their demons when you are around them and see if that changes anything.
---Nellah on 11/12/05|
If you want to win them over as friends, Proverbs 19:6 says "everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts."
I've found that small gifts or favors, even a sincere compliment ("that's a nice dress") works well for breaking down walls and gaining friendship. It might take a little while so be careful not to overdue it. You always want to stay sincere.
---DoryLory on 11/12/05|
It isn't mean to let them know that they are being hurtful. Try: "Ouch - that's hurtful!" or "Thankyou for sharing your hurt feelings with me - I'll pray for you" (Hurt people hurt people)
---Jannette on 11/11/05|
Tell them. Use this script.
"I feel hurt, when you say __________________, because it is a mean thing to say. I prefer you refrain from saying mean things about me."
---Madison on 11/11/05|
Are the remarks made when your husband cannot hear?If so,tell him and let him talk to his relatives and find out what their problem is.If he has heard and does nothing,he needs a "backbone"and should come to your defense.He should remind them that if they don't want YOU around,then they don't want HIM around either.Don't allow yourself to be disrespected.People will treat you how you ALLOW them .Continue to be sweet and behave in a way that God will be proud of you.Blessings,
---lovable_linda on 11/11/05|
what a shock to see this my hubbys family does the same way and accuses me of doing stuff that i dont then tells me to my face about it when my hubby is not present. i am not sure how to handle it but just pray and if you have ne suggestions to me email me God will see us thru this he always has and he always will
---kayce9587 on 11/11/05|
Ist thing do these people realise these remark are hurting you, or are they own way making you fell weclome or just teasing you. i have a friend who teases his wife alot , any one listening in would think they don't like each other but they do , hope this may helps
---rog on 11/11/05|