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I'm In Love With An Older Man

I'm in love with an older man. While I'm fairly well off, he's not. He says that's why he doesn't want to get too involved. What should I do? Should I let him go and find someone my age and more established financially?

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 ---blue on 12/2/05
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He's letting his "MANLY" pride & guilt keep you 2 from getting to involved. Theory: A "real man" is the "bread-winner" in a relationship or marrage. This is one of society's definition of a "man" that is taught to us guys when we are very young. So some of us guys are not comfortable with our modern day women's equality. Especially if he's "old school".
---Fred_S. on 11/30/07

How old are you? How much older than you is he? Are you born again? Is he born again?
---Rita on 5/6/07

How do you feel about the man? If your life has more meaning with him in it, and he respects you, good conversation.... well hold onto that. If its not a rewarding relationship let go of it... If he is making excuses for you not to be involved, he must have good reason... pray and the Lord will guide you.
---Rebekah on 12/16/05

, ann, most of the aging in women happens very quickly in menopause and the years right after it. men age more slowly, but as much over time.
---steve on 12/16/05

Disclaimer: For humor purposes only. Do you know why most men die before their wives? They want to.
---ralph7477 on 12/7/05

Unfortunately, I've noticed, in going thru the photos in the penpal site, the 50 yr old men do look older than the 50 yr old women, and there does seem to be more widows than widowers. Maybe you should consider if you're willing to take the chance of being a may not happen...he may live to a ripe old age, but statistics are against it.
---Ann5758 on 12/7/05

A rare occasion when I agree with Steve! I think that (in physical appearance only) men age better than women during the middle years. Even if they get the wrinkles and grey hair both seem to enhance their appearance - not so with us women I'm sorry to say. However, at a later stage in life I think they come of worse. Men seem to have greater problems with weight. Certain illnesses e.g. heart attacks are much more common in men after about the mid 50s and yes, men, on average, do die younger than women.
---M.P. on 12/7/05

Steve ... "men don't physically age as fast as women" Strange then that men die at a younger age than women
---alan8869_of_UK on 12/6/05

Well Steve, we will have to differ on that one ... I have had half as long again to observe.
---alan8869_of_UK on 12/6/05

, ulrika, i was referring to adults. they tend to not be mature until much later in life than we think they do. and alan, i'm 42 and i sometimes have to show I.D. in a bar, so men don't physically age as fast as women.
---steve on 12/6/05

Steve, I was referring to adults in my previous post. Boy and girl teenagers are not emotionally mature.
---Ulrika on 12/5/05

Steve, It depends on the individual whether he or she is emotionally mature and at what age.
---Ulrika on 12/5/05

Steve ... where did you get that fact? Young women get emotionally mature earlier that young men, and generally they are the more sensible, But remember that on average a woman lives 5 years longer. Physically of course the woman gets wrinkles at about the same age as a man. They flatter the man and make him look handsome, whereas they make a woman look old. What nonsense Steve!
---alan8869_of_UK on 12/5/05

, ulrika, we all know that men mature much later in life than women, so they are not on the same level unless the man is older.
---steve on 12/5/05

Steve, is there a scripture verse that says, the man should be older than his wife. If that is your preference, or because it is tridition, that's fine. I prefer reasonably older men, but I don't say that is what should be done.
---Ulrika on 12/4/05

A number things come to my mind: 1. He's embarrased that you have more than he does. 2. He feels that at some point you will use your financial position to make him do someting he doesn't want to do. 3. He may be concerned what his friends might say. 4. He may may just be using this as an excuse not to committ. Most of his ojections can be dealt with by having a prenup. The last is a situation you can't change. Ask him which it is!
---WIVV on 12/4/05

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, men are supposed to be older in relationships. but i doubt his reasons for keeping his distance. i think he fears commitment.
---steve on 12/3/05

What is your age difference?
---Susan on 12/2/05

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