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Live Together To Make Kids

Would it be right before God if a man and a woman live together for the immediate benefit of children but faithfully abstain from sex until marriage fully submit to Christ?

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 ---Jackie on 12/5/05
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This is my Story almost exactly except we lived together for 10 years with one child before thankfully both of us finding Christ. We asked for forgiveness, abstained until marriage(3-4 mo later) but still lived together for our family. Our4 year married and 14 year together anniversay is this week. And We know God in his mercy has blessed our union.
---emtp on 2/21/08

It wouldn't look right, in God's eyes or anyone's eyes. I wouldn't do this simply because you will be bringing the heartache and sin upon yourself when in fact you have a choice in the matter.
---Rebecca_D on 2/21/08

The Bible does say to avoid the appearance of evil. The majority will not believe that you live together and remain celibate. Societal morals have changed, and many won't think anything of it, but God wants us to live moral lives.
Additionally, it's a heavy temptation to live with someone you love. The chances are good that you will fail to maintain celibacy, if exposed to each other 24/7. Gain wisdom and knowledge. The Bible tells us to avoid temptation for good reasons.
---Pat on 6/15/07

It seems like an odd situation to be in, but if you are engaged and fully committed to marriage, then it might be a wonderful idea. It is important to consider the ages of the children, if they are young then it is to their benefit, but if they are older - preteen and teenagers, then it might be beneficial to show a commitment to abstinance before marriage by living apart. Stuff happens and things are not always the way they ought to be, but you want to do what is best for the children in the long run.
---lorra8574 on 6/14/07

I think that the Moderator has misread the question when deciding the heading to give to this blog. Jackie expressly says NO SEX UNTIL MARRIED. So I imagine the living together would be for the benefit of the existing children of the man and woman, from previous marriage/relationship(s). If they do not have sex before marriage, is there a sin? I suggest that it would be over-judgmental to say they are sinning by giving the appearance of sin.
---alan8869_of_UK on 6/14/07

Thank you all for your kind and honest answers. I have committed it to the Lord at this point. I refuse to fight a losing battle :). God will make His will transpire in my life. I also marvelled at how God also spared me from sinning unknowingly, by being yoked with a non-believer. God is Great.
---Jackie on 12/7/05

Part 2:
I WILL be a miricle from God. VERY IMPORTANT!!
1. Put this situation in God's hands, and ask if it is His will for you to marry this man.
2. Have complete faith & trust in God, and believe that He will resolve this matter. And give you the wisdom & knowledge of His plan for you.
3. Remain hopeful! Hope is what makes us get out of bed every morning.
4. Both of you need to make this as easy as possible for the kids. Allow them to see him anytime they want and vise-versa.
---Fred_S. on 12/7/05

Amazing what God reveils to us when we listen to HIM. There's numerous ways to look at this situation.
1. You have asked for forgiveness & you are back walking in God's graces.
2. He possibly is saving the kids & your salvation from eternal death & generational curses (pasted down from our fathers).
3. He has brought to light what was hidden.
---Fred_S. on 12/7/05

NO - it wouldn't be right - especially because of the kids. All they would notice is that here are two adults living together, so it must be O.K. When they get older, they may think it's alright for them to live with their intended spouce since you did. What will you say to them?
---WIVV on 12/6/05

Pt.2To my great sadness, I found out last night that although he is out of the house for a week now, he is not saved. I thought he was. It looks pretty grim for our family, but I am praying fervently for his salvation and would love it if you felt compelled to do the same. :)
---Jackie on 12/6/05

Pt.1 You are right in everything you said, but I can't force him to marry me. But our faith prohibits me from ignoring the possibility of God working a miracle in us. I think we all need to leave room for that. As far as the abstainance, you are more than accurate but all things are possible with God and the entire situation was dependent on whether we could devote ourselves to Christ before each other.
---Jackie on 12/6/05

I just want to know what could you possibly be waiting for after living together for 2 yrs? You guys need to get your act together. Go get a licence and be a good role model for those kids! Do you realize what kind of influence, both of you are having on those kids? Do you really think you could continue living together and abstain from sex? That would be hard on anybody. 1 month-ok, 2 mo.-ok, 3 mo-maybe, 4, 5, 6, 7,... long time to be that close together and abstain. Just trying to keep it real.
---Fred_S. on 12/6/05

Jackie on 12/02/06 you started the blog "How to accepts God's will" and then you said "There is no planning nor talk of a wedding" Your latest question implies that you will marry. If so, do it quickly. It would hurt the children if you split for a short time before the marriage.
If you do not intend to marry him ... where is your mutual commitment? You would need to talk things out very carefully.
---alan8869_of_UK on 12/5/05

The two children are ours. We have lived together for two years. We want to start our relationship afresh and attempt to purify it before God with chastity without tearing our family apart by living apart. Is the sin of living in sin, simply the fornication part of it?
---Jackie on 12/5/05

The situation is such that the children are ours. We have been living together for two years.We want to start our relationship afresh with Christ in our lives but want to wait a bit to get married, though. Can we attempt to purify our relationship before God with chastity but without tearing our family apart by living separately?
---Jackie on 12/5/05

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