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I Want To Divorce My Husband

I want divorce. My husband is controlling, verbally abusive, very critical. We have been to marriage counseling three times. I have no bibical grounds, but believe I will be forgiven. I can't believe God won't forgive me for getting a divorce and that I can't remarry.

Moderator - Is there someone you already have in mind for the remarriage part?

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 ---Robin on 12/15/05
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If you do this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, and he does this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, this resolves the situation. If he, or she doesn't consider the others best interest, he, or she might easily be abusive.
p.s. (1) Don't uncover your husbands nakedness, but Galatians 6:1. 2) Pray. (3) Be kind, Ephesians 4:32. (4) All, get saved and trust in Jesus Christ. (5) Don't listen to those bitter folk who tell you to divorce, Jude 1:12, 2Peter 2:17.
---Glenn on 4/30/09

Read Romans 3:8, 6:1-2, Galatians 5:13-6:5, 1Peter 2:16.
Read 1Corinthians 7:12-16, and then Ephesians 5 until you understand, and agree with, 22-24. It is not possible to reject the authority of your husband, and then, obey the Lord. But if your husband is asking you to do something immoral, Acts 4:19 and 5:29 allow you to say no. If a woman were to act like Esther, and not Vashti, less Gomer or Jezebel, there have been some cases where marriages have been restored, and better yet the spouse receives the Lord as savior.
---Glenn on 4/30/09

ya know what...God knows what your goin through sister - and yeah pray about it and seek out all roads before you just go and throw the towel in... but listen - God forgives us for EVERYTHING. if you do get divorced and God sees your heart and sees that you did all you could then guess what,God is going to forgive you the moment you ask him to - do you really think God would want you to stay in a relationship where you are being hurt???? c'mon now - yeah pray - but you gotta do what you gotta do in life. God knows that.
---eve on 4/27/09

Robin:-Dont look for forgiveness but look for an alternative within the framework of Matrimony. God made Marriage to be beautiful,peaceable, and carry out His plan He made You the Helpmate of Your choice.Divorce is an ugly word like abortion,Separation is what you need Give it to him straight "Treat me well or Leave'By Law the Home is yours he will have to provide.If he threatens call the cops.Do not give him a divorce or even seek one yourself .PRAY Pray Make God your advocate.Blessings.
---Mic on 3/12/09

Think as you may but the bible is remarry would be sin...everyday you were together would be a sin. No woman should go through that, but to remarry would still be wrong.
---adrie6898 on 3/11/09

Google "verbal abuse and neglect grounds for divorce" and read the articles. Many of them explain why they believe that divorce based on verbal abuse and neglect are supported by the bible. Good luck.
---julie on 3/9/09

read your bible on the subject look in the back of bible under marriage, husbands and wives and pray for guidance, God will direct you. Maybe just stay at your family while he alone and you alone are getting help only Christian help, don't run to get a divorce all things are possible for thoughs who love the Lord,,God Bless :)
---connie on 2/28/09

Jesus said what is done in the dark will be brought to the light.

I have had this argument with carla before.

I know one thing.. that when I became a Christian, Jesus forgave me of all my sin including divorce and remarriage.

ANY sin committed before coming to Christ is forgiven when Jesus gives you his grace. No questions asked.

This situation in the blog question, should not be answered by hypocrites. It should be answered by God.
Pray about it, God will answer, trust me he answered me.
---miche3754 on 2/11/09

What do you want me to do give away all my dark secrets? I ant gonna do it!
---catherine on 2/11/09

catherine and carla,
have either of you ladies ever been in an abusive relationship?

I used to be just like both of you until I became a statistic in physical abuse.

The man broke his vows to love her as he loves himself even as he loves God, the moment he started abusing her.
That man has already disolved his marriage through HIS actions. I agree with bob, and lauryn.
By the way carla, the hypoctrites are the ones passing judgement- the ones trying to do God's job for him. Does this ring a bell sis?
---miche3754 on 2/11/09

Wow you people are the reason so many people leave the church or never go at all! I hope you all marry and end up in an abusive relationships. Not everyone is a Christian when they get married so therefore the covenant was not made under God. If they are unequally yolked it was not God's will. No reason to live in denial and have a horrible life married to a psycho just to look good to the overly judgemental, legalistic Christians that have lost the meaning of the love of Christ.
---lauryn on 2/11/09

The gray area that you speak about are areas that christians struggle with because they believe that they are perfect through scripture deserve to remarry for self grtification but the women who have never loved must remain single( cannot commit fornication) but they can commit Adultery regardless of the Law of Marriage
---Carla5754 on 2/3/09

Teri, I agree with you. I don't know if she has any children or if the husband is a believer or how long they have been married. It appears the results of marrying a non-believer are at work here. Jesus didn't mention husbands and wives when He talked about divisions in the family, but the same principles seem to apply. If it is a sin, its already been forgiven according to scripture. How could one enjoy and live by the fruits of the Holy Spirit under those conditions. New covenant grace does say for her to remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. I believe this is one of the so called gray areas of scripture.
---Bob on 2/3/09


---Carla5754 on 2/3/09

God says in His word>>>You may leave your husband, you must remain single, or you may go back to him. No divorce will be granted, because he has not committed adultery unto you. You must wait until he kicks the bucket.
---catherine on 2/2/09

Seek God first, man was granted a decree of divorce because of the hardness of his hearts. Your road may seem lonely but God is with you! Seek the word and be in prayer.
---Domingo on 2/2/09

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that I can't remarry. Not enough info to answer the question. Looks like your more worried about the remarry. On that it looks like your already going to remarry as soon as divorce is done. By your on words you really don't care what God thinks you've made up your mind already.(I have no bibical grounds, but believe I will be forgiven. I can't believe God won't forgive me for getting a divorce and that I can't remarry.) your going to divorce your husband and remarry.
---lee on 2/2/09

Don't quit Arkay,

If this was all to lfe in Christ man would be most miserable, however we have a father tha will hear and answer prayer if we just trust him read and obey his word.

The road was never easy but God does and will answer prayer the answers in his word. Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.Ask and it will be given.

---Carla5754 on 2/1/09

Hi, As a husband who suffered for so long can i make a suggestion? Perhaps your husband is not verbally/emotionally abusive for the reasons you think of. i say that because I was that man, until i learned that I have control issues. Growing up i felt i had no control over anything. and that continued as an adult. But i got help. and let me tell you it changed my world. no longer trying to be in control and make everyone happy has freed me. Perhaps one day my wife will forgive me.
---Christopher on 1/15/09

There is really NO solution to an unhappy marriage.Either one buckles up and rides the waves or succomb to its result, by Separation or Divorce.But it is a choice made without diligent research.I give you 1Cor.7:32-34.Socrates, whose wife was a perfect virago,when she stormed,he took no more notice than a passing rattling vehicle.One day while teaching His pupils from a window above,she rated him soundly and ended up by dousing him with a jug of water.Socrates rose changed his place, remarking with a smile"I might have known that a storm would have brought a thunder shower"Married people owe fidelityto each other Heb13:4
---Mic on 1/13/09

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Anyone who is judging this lady needs to stop. Walk a mile in her shoes and then talk! I counsel abused women and see and hear their pain every week. Not only do most of the abusers NOT seek help for themselves, they continually offer false promises to "get better' and most never do.
Reality is that God would like us to be "evenly yoked" with our mates. Some times that does not happen, and we do have "free will" to stay or leave. God gives us that choice, especially when we are unevenly yoked and there is no positive, loving change(s). We cannot allow abuse to our person or spirit because God dwells in us and gave us our body to love.
---teri on 1/12/09

I can not believe what person 'junior' has written, a man has no right to verbally abuse or physically abuse a woman, you are Gods daughter who he loves dearly, He wants you to be safe, secure and happy, god will show you the way 'for he knows the plans he has for you', it may not be that you end up getting a divorce, God might have a bigger plan through this, but whatever happens at the end you will become a much stronger woman.
---mary on 1/11/09

I would like to take a Vowel. What a rude reply the person prior to me had. Being married is not easy. There are ups and downs, however it's not someone else's place to judge. God knows your heart and situation. I think you should bring it to prayer, I think you should find a counselor for yourself. I think that God will help you to find peace. Verbal abuse is not something you should have to take. It's very distructive.
---lady on 12/21/08

hey sister how come you think God will go ahead and forgive you do you not believe all of Gods word.did you not take a vowel before God. you just cant get married and then get divorced when times get tough.your a christian and are goverened by differnt set of rules, not your rules or the worlds rules but Gods rules.please dont break the secound commandment just because you hit a hard spot,dont let your personal belief system be goverened by the way you fell,and you will not create a differnt God in your heart. hears a ideal try prayer and fasting. if you really love this man then then lay down your life for him and pray.
---junior on 12/1/08

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Jackie:-Spoken like a true woman of christ I wish there were more like you to light the way to His kingdom.Blessings.To meet His challenge we must strive to conquer our Frailtys.This produces perfection Follow Him God Bless
---Mic on 11/26/08

Ladies Read your posts again:-1 Who picked your husband.2. what was the Basis of such a decision.3.Were there any discussions of the insolubility question as b/c your marriage vow said "till death do us part"4. did uyou discuss religion compatibility Finances ,who would manage the Home Front.children How many.5 did you explore the possibility in the case of a severance what would you both call an amicable settlement.Just a few There are more I am sure you will think of.SO who is to blame #1 #2 or both.How about repair They say Making up is much more fun!!
---Mic on 11/26/08

I will divorce my husband too actually for the same reasons. My husband is verbally abusive, controlling and critical as well. These are not the husbands God was talking about in the bible to preservere and remain faithful to. Abusive men are unsafe and therefore you can decide whether or not you're safe or not in your marriage. The choice is yours. Don't believe you have no biblical ground. You do!
---Monie_Valentine on 11/24/08

God does not want you to be in a relationship that hurts you. He wants to see a smile on your face and love in your heart. It sounds like you have truly tried to make this relationship work. Sometimes two people just don't belong together. Wish him well and leave. Begin a new life that is filled with love and respect. Begin by loving yourself.
---Grace on 11/20/08

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I want to divorce my entire life. As a woman who was proud of her faith walk, I have reached my wits end. Each day I wake up to nothing but more garbage to endure and traitorous, lazy, demanding takers. I despise my life. Giving thanks for even the little things that count only gives a temporary spiritual "high". And just like any other mind altering drug, wears off quicker each time and requires a heavier dose. I want some...SOLUTIONS! I am TIRED of believing God's promises only to be disappointed. Broke. Depressed. And now, evey YOU will even deny me the right to be angry. It is sickening. I quit.
---Arkay on 11/19/08

Honey when a marriage or anything goes sour it takes a lot of work on both parties, part, to keep it together. It does not happen overnight. Then it may not ever be right again. Separate for a while to clear your head and think things through. You don't have to divorce,right away. You and he can agree to separate for a while. This may be all that is needed. If he dies you can remarry. The bond will be broken and you will be totally free. I have known preachers to leave their wives and families and remarry.Deacons and other leaders in the church also.
God forgives if we sincerely come to Him confess and repent, in Jesus' name.
---Robyn on 6/26/08

Rebecca! Romans Chap. 3 We are all sinners. Those who are Christians are "sinners saved by Grace" We still sin everyday i.e...wrong thoughts, lies, you name it, gossip, profanity etc. Christians are saved from eternal separation from God because we have repented and put our trust in Jesus Christ and believe that He paid the penalty for our sins by dying for us on that cross. We believe who He says He is. We confess our sins when we mess up and we move on. He forgives and forgets. Our hope is in Him. We have a relationship with Him. You however have to answer to God. You are calling Him the liar not me. I just spoke up because you have mislead many with that "I'm not a sinner" statement. That is not true Christianity.
---jackie on 6/20/08

Was he like that when you 2 were dating?? Sometimes we think that marriage means change when that's what we liked about them
---Senya on 5/28/08

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Who says that verbal abuse is not grounds for divorce? He broke the marriage contract when he failed to love honor and cherish. If you went into the marriage in good faith and have tried to be a good wife and have been faithful but he has verbally abused you I don't see how God would expect you to stay in that relationship.
---Carol on 3/16/08

Michelle::while Marriage is a bond in God's eyes, a separation for acceptable reasons is not wrong.It is the consequences of what follows if you desire to get hitched again that is the problem.Hence the sayin "better to stay with the devil you know than the devil you dont"Not a good explaination but it brings out the point of illustration.after being married a single life is NOT a bowl of cherries.Some say man is an evil necessity.But the choice is YOURS.
---Emcee on 3/11/08

Drug using is a slow suicide and also destroys all around them. I would get out of such a marriage. You need some sanity in life. If he shows that he is capable of taking responsibility for his life and going to rehab, then reconsider returning to him. In reality you are better off poor and sane than with a drug user (who will also bankrupt you and bring in a host demons).
---frances008 on 3/10/08

Other Michelle, forgiveness is a powerful gift.
The Holy Spirit gives us the power to forgive others.

MMR Michelle
---Michelle on 3/10/08

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I have been in an abusive marriage for 6 years. I have also always struggled with my Christian duty to stay married. I also feel guilty, because I know that he is not going to change. In addition, he is also a drug user. How can I pray when in my heart I want to committ a sin. Truthfully, I don't want to pray about it, because I feel that God will instruct me to stay. I know that I deserve better and after writing this, I AM going to leave. Thanks.
---Michelle on 3/9/08

please ghet it out of your mind, that >God will forgive you when deliberatly you are saying God will forgive me, so i just sin. will i sin so that grace will abound? paul says. nevertheless i can never say that a seperation would not do some good, a divorce however is verry drastic and the last measure. do this in a Christian consiance that after divorce you need to stay single (since he did not cheat you or it is not beacause of Christ).
---andy on 2/28/08

I've been separated for 5 1/2 yrs. after a 15 year relationship/marriage . My husband's verbally abusive and full of rage. I have not divorced. He says he is going to. The Lord's with me. Divorce is never the answer. Remain obedient to God, draw into Him and remain faithful to Him. So hard, but God will get you through. Don't start that divorce. Let go and let God. Take certain steps to protect you and yours, but don't file. Let him do it. In the mean time, pray for restoration and healing.
---betty on 2/27/08

Rebecca D, your comment is interesting. Would you share with us your definition of the word 'sinner'? Perhaps it is different from how others would define the word.
---RitaH on 2/26/08

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Why does a person say that we are all sinners? I'm not. I don't consider myself to be a sinner. I consider myself to be a God-fearing Christian. I may sin in this flesh, but that doesn't make me a sinner. That means I need to work on myself a little harder.
---Rebecca_D on 2/25/08

We all are sinners. God is the only one who can judge, not me or anyone else. "Let those who are without sin cast the first stone."
---marisa on 2/24/08

It's interesting how although the Word says one thing...a lot of times we bend it ever so slightly to justify something we want to believe is true. While yes, I believe the Word does say you are able to divorce to protect, starting a new relationship, or marrying someone else is adultery. God says to stay single and serve Him as long as mate is alive or do what's necessary to reconcile to mate. It's amazing what people want to accept because they 'can't believe' what God says.
---jeff on 1/31/08

There could be some exceptions to staying married like: if the spouse just wanted a separation or divorce (you need two people who want to be married to stary married), and if the unsaved spouse were unfaithful or abusive. Divorce in and of itself is NOT a sin. The only case where a person could REMARRY though, would be if there is sexual immorality involved or of course, death...continued->
---Me on 1/19/08

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Jesus said: "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9)
This verse is not saying divorce is a sin, it is saying that if you remarry without your ex-spouse either dying or commiting sexual immorality it is a sin...continued
---Me on 1/19/08

Or if you marry someone who was divorced for neither of those reasons (death or sexual immorality) then you are sinning as well.
Hope this helps and God bless.
-Member of the Starkville coC
---Me on 1/19/08

Here I am upset and crying and feeling alone and wondering if I am being emotionally abused...and can't see the trees for the forest and sorry to say, not finding good help on the internet, and none here..Don't bother to reply, won't be back.
---Yeah on 9/2/07

Abusive to you is one thing but your 9yr old child? Think of what you are showing your child, that it is ok to allow someone to treat the both of you this way? Get out and do it soonner than later. No prayer is going to get him to stop being abusive- God WILL forgive you. You deserve better...
---CRISSY on 8/28/07

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Do you pray for your marriage?
---Rebekah on 4/16/07

He dsoent respect or love me anymore and wants to divorce me.
---Tra on 7/27/06

He has been keeping finances from me and is very upset reversing all on me because I found out this heartbreaking information. I am so hurt. Yesterday My husband just harshly told me to move on, stop bothering me, stop harrasing me, i dont want you, dont worry about whos living in my house Im not with you. He hasnt giving me any money from the sale of our home. Please pray for my everone. My heart is extremely hurt. I dont know how I am going to make it. continued.....
---Tra on 7/27/06

We are seperated , going through a divore
and at times we would discuss possibly working it out. I just found out that He has a home that I didnt know about, a woman that WAS preganant that I just found out about I just found out about. continued.....
---Tra on 7/27/06

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Yes Ive really been trying to do right and turn my life ver to GOD. My husband and I are seperated going through a divorce. He has always been the type of man that was out in the streets late night, verbally abusive, disrespectful,tells so many lies and didnt honor me as his wife. Continued.....
---Tra on 7/27/06

You can leave him first,then seek counciling for yourself.Don't worry about him,he has loving arms around him, not yours.Yes,think of other spouses,all you want to,there are real fine men out there who come out of unequally yoked marriages.Don't worry,she is taking care of him! Real well! Lulac3895
---Lula on 6/11/06

I do not believe that God will judge you harshly for protecting yourself. No one should have to live with abuse. However, it is important to look into your own life to find your own inner strength; you wouldn't want to marry again to a similar partner. Sometimes we learn abuse from our childhood, and we associate it with love and we repeat it again in our adult relationships. I believe you first must protect yourself, then discover yourself, and I am sure God will bring for you a new life.
---Grace on 6/10/06

I am hearing so many responses that lack in compassion. Compassion is the true essence of the life of Jesus. The God I know is the essence of unconditional love. In every relationship, each partner makes mistakes. In some relationships, there is an imbalance of power, and abuse results. Verbal abuse is a slow form of death for the victimized partner. Continued...
---Grace on 6/10/06

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From the beginning of Christianity there have been Mentally abusive husbands.Just leaving woman alone to have a baby ,all alone and helpless.If he is verbally abusive toward you,leave him before it turns physical ,how limited just call slack or police and go taking the children.They will help you.You only have to cleave to your husband (in Christ)..he is not in Christ if he abuses you and or children.Lulac3895
---Lula on 6/10/06

In my Bible it says that "God hates divorce", it doesn't tell me that God says divorce is a sin that we are not to divorce. It states that He "hates" divorce. God doesn't want us to live in misery and abuse. He meant for marriage to be a blessed union between a man and a women. Our children are a further blessing from God. Before you go to divorce try a seperation and counseling first.

---Aria on 5/15/06

My marriage was horrible for many yrs. Mostly verbally abusive. I continued to pray for him and God did turn him around right at the moment I was going to leave him. Our marriage now is pretty good. Not the greatest buy tolerable. No more verbal or emotional abuse.
---Aria on 5/15/06

I'm going through the same situation. My husband is extremely verbally/emotionally abusive to me and my 9 yr. old son (from first marriage.) To complicate things, we have a 5 month old baby together. I've tried everything to get help for us...4 counselors included. I don't believe that a loving God would "punish" the victims of abuse by telling them they can never marry again. Those who believe so aren't considering the true heart of God. I believe we are released from this abuse completely.
---Amy on 5/15/06

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Matth 19:1:11
Divorce on the grounds of abuse is for saftey, Not Re-marrige, to re-marry you will be committing Adultery and you will have the Guilt of causing your husband to committ Adultery too. So asking God to set up another marriage to suit your own life style is unfortunately not biblical.
---Carla5754 on 5/4/06

I was in same position. 17yrs praying he would listen to God and change controlling/angry ways. I would cry out to God. God revealed to me in scripture and elsewhere it was abuse. It's not easy, but girls and I wouldn't change the peace and joy we now have for anything! God is blessing us incredibly; we are in center of His will; it is awesome! As for remarraige...I am so looking forward to a marraige that will honor God, and I know He will bless me with a loving, Spirit-filled Christian man.
---Stephanie on 4/8/06

Sometimes as a christian we have to look at the bigger picture, satan works in the lives of those that do not have their minds stayed on Gods word. Divorce is never easy, and we live in a world that advocates divorce regardless of what the bible say's.
---Carla on 4/8/06

1 Corinthians 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
---Exzucuh on 4/8/06

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The Bible has 2 listed that I'm aware of, 1 is adultry, 2 being, I honestly can't think of it, sorry. But it is very clear in the Bible about this. You all should really communicate, seek out counselors, and the best I've seen have always been ministers to help both of you through a tough time. Both of you CAN CHANGE, and it takes two of you to get an exchange going, and it takes two to solve the problems. Communicate, calmly, don't shut down, and build walls, an excellent book is Respect & Love.
---Phil on 4/8/06

Robin, more christians than you realise have been where you are. 1. He is breaking his covenant with you if he is abusive, God does not want him to abuse you. 2. Grounds for divorce in the old testament also included abandonment. I recommend reading "Grace and Divorce" by Dr. Les Carter to answer some questions in your heart.
---Maxine on 1/9/06

Thank you, Tee. You were especially helpful as well as many others. I may sound selfish, but divorce will not be easy for me. In some ways would be easier to stay and put up with it. I do communicate with him effectively which brings on alot of the nasty comments. He would like me to be quiet and not assert myself. Thank you to those of who tried to be understanding and kind. It is important for Christians to remember to be because we're often perceived by worldly people to be judgmental and harsh.
---Robin on 12/20/05

Ouch Suzanna, what brought that about? I was simply surprised at your statement that anyone should feel LUCKY to have a husband who is 'controlling, verbally abusive, very critical.' I realise now that what you meant was ANY husband must be better than NO husband because you do not have one. Well, some people might just say that you are the lucky one. If you ever marry I hope yours will not be controlling, verbally abusive, very critical and I hope your life will be happy whether married or single.
---emg on 12/19/05

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For your imformation emg, no i am not yet lucky enough to have a husband and i dont want to hear about yours either, who are you to attack me anyway, its not about me or you its about my unblanket advise to Robin, if your life was not so Rosy you would not be so nieve.
---susanna on 12/19/05

JUST A NOTE FOR CLARIFICATION: I am not the same "Tee" that has posted and responded to other Blog Questions.
---Tee on 12/18/05

Have you asked your hubby about divorce? If so, what did he say? His answer could be helpful. Also, a little advice. If you have your mind made up in this matter, don't ask "religious" folks their opinion; not everyone named a Christian should give advice. Everyone has their own opinion & own interpretation of scripture. Go directly to God, the Alpha & Omega. He has the final answer & will speak directly to you. Read Jeremiah 33:3 and stand on it & see what the Lord's answer is to you.
---Tee on 12/18/05

If you can't afford a therapist read Dobson's book "Love Must Be Tough". Your husband has been who he is for 14 years, yet you chose him. You said you would never paint your husband unfavorably. There is no favorable way to portray somebody you take to divorce court.
---ralph7477 on 12/18/05

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Robin, I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, so I understand your dilemma a little. I went to therapy and learned to stand up for myself in a loving way, and not take the abuse, but communicate assertively. Eventually, he left because I was not the wimp he wanted to bully and control anymore. He filed for the divorce, and now he is living with his new wife.

I strongly urge you to seek therapy for yourself to determine how to communicate effectively with your husband.
---Madison on 12/17/05

I appreciate the kind comments. Ralph, I would never purposely paint my husband in an unfavorable light. My husband has shown his abusive ways in front of many others, so I have never had to say anything. I would never paint him to the children as a bad father. I chose him before I was a Christian and it has not changed in 14 years. He has caused me emotional damage as well as the children. I understand and forgive him for whatever makes it so difficult to empathize with us and be kind to us.
---Robin on 12/17/05

Robin, what kind of help were you looking for? Your original blog stated what you want to do and your belief that God would understand despite what His word says. In fact you used the pronoun "I" or "me" a total of six times. That is a good indication that it's really about what you want. Sorry if you don't consider it helping when somebody questions you.
---ralph7477 on 12/17/05

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