He Is Not A Virgin
I'm engaged to a wonderful guy who I love, but unlike myself he is not a virgin. He's completly repented but painfully regrets his past because he feels it will one day take away from our intimacy. How do I convince him what we will share will still be special?
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---Kaylynn on 1/1/06
Helpful Blog Vote (10)
i agree with Alan, don't bring it up, and if he does, then change the subject. He may be pretensing guilt in your presence in order to get you to appeal to him or to make him feel better by coming on to him physically. Or, he may just hold you in very high esteem and he genuinely feels inadequate or not good enough for you. In any case, it should mar your relationship if you do get married, unless he has children he hasn't told you about or something like that.
---Eloy on 9/24/07|
Quite simply because when God forgives that is it. Don't go on. God has work for you to do so get on with it. If you both really love each other, and feel it is God behind it, then get married and be happy!
But be sure. Don't rush. Pray hard. God Bless.
---Ed on 4/12/07|
Alex::In your sincerity there is an atom of remorse & Repentance & this is what Jesus looks for& we know His words "I also, do not condemn you, but go & sin no more."Peace be with you.
---Emcee on 4/11/07|
Everyone has made mistakes in the past. I myself was not a virgin when I got married, I have a child out of wedlock. Does this affect my intimacy it might but my wife and I can work through this. My suggestion to you is like others say, don't initiate the discussion, but if it is raised tell him that you forgive him and that you love him for who he is, baggage and all. None of us are perfect so why hold something against someone.
---Jared on 4/11/07|
I suggest that you never initiate a discussion about this. And when he mentions it next, just say "So what?"
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/11/07|
Let him know that he has repented and ask god for forgiveness so he needs to fogive him self. What make the what you will share special is the love of each other and of god. pray for guidance
---tonya on 8/25/06|
I think that there are differences in sin. blasphemy of the Holy Ghost is a pretty good example.
(I had to change names because there is another Chris posting now) -Chris
---tofurabby on 5/27/06|
Thank you all for giving me your opinions, which I truly respect. The fact is that, indeed, I am not a christian so that is why I don't think that all sins are the same. You know, I have my own way to see things, so I hope I am not offending anyone with my thoughts.
---Alex on 1/6/06|
Alex, the point is. God doesn't want you or any other human to go to Hell( it's intended for Satan & demons). He loves us so much that He made a plan, for Jesus(half God,half human)to come and die in place of us. Receive Him,live for Him(one day at a time) & your sin penalty is paid. "Walk in the Spirit & you won't fulfill the lusts of the flesh".
---lovable_linda on 1/3/06|
Alex: There is no grey I agree with Chris the bible states that we are not to be luke warm you must be either hot or cold or he will spew you out of his mouth same and also it says you cannot straddle the fence you must be on one side or the other these are the same as no grey only black and white and sin no matter what type will take you to the same place there isnt different parts of hell that you will be in murders will not be in a hotter area than one who has sex before marriage.
---andre9789 on 1/3/06|
Alex, the Bible reads that if you fail in one little point of the Law, than you are guilty of breaking the whole Law. God is holy, therefore a so-called minor infraction is equal to a major infraction. There is no grey to God, for we either have the Spirit of Christ, or we are none of his.
---Eloy on 1/2/06|
Alex, since you're not a Christian let me tell you that 1 john 1:9 in the Holy Bible says that if you'll confess your sins, God is faithful and just and will remove all unrightousness. Why not admit that & ask Jesus to take control of your life. It's wonderful to know Him.
---lovable_linda on 1/2/06|
Alex it is because you are not a Christian that you do not see that all sins are the same to God - in the sense that once we accept that we have sinned and repent and ask forgiveness, they are all forgiven and forgotten (totally finished with) by God in exactly the same way. Man sees murder as being far worse than stealing. We can repay what we stole but we cannot bring back to life a person we murdered. Nevertheless, God will just as completely forgive the murderer as He will the thief.
---emg on 1/2/06|
Alex: Any sin, sexual or murder, separates us from fellowship with God the Father. Your love making separates you from God just as much as someone else's murdering someone. The only hope for you, or the murderer, is to have Christ's blood on your sins. Accepting Christ as savior makes forgiveness possible, and frees us from having to sin again in the future. In sin, there is only black and white. But Jesus blood washes it all away.
---Madison on 1/2/06|
I am not a christian so maybe that is why I don't agree with you when you say that "there is no difference between sins". How can a murder be the same as making love to my girlfriend (a woman a truly love)? Do you think God will judge me the same if I rape, torture and kill an inocent child.... or on the other if I make love to the woman I adore? I know that having sex before marriage is a sin, that is for sure! But God doesn't see only black and white.. there are also grey colors.
---Alex on 1/2/06|
Does he understand there is no difference between sins? Sin is sin is sin. Whether we have sex before marriage; are angry; murder someone; display hatred...all is sin. There are no degrees of sin. You should try and explain that to him. All sin has consequences, and he who is without sin, throw the first stone. Jesus came that He might forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness when we allow Him to carry our burden. Why does he want to hold on to it?
---Chris on 1/2/06|
If he mentions it again just remind him that we ALL have a past and have had our sins forgiven. Your sins might be different from his but if you are both saved you are equally yoked now and that is all that matters.
---M.P. on 1/2/06|
In your prayer time place it in God's hands and trust Him to fix & repair what needs to be done. Mark 11:22. After you pray about keep on thanking God for the solution. It won't be an over night thing, but you can trust God that it will be done. It is a good idea to pray together and to pray separately. When you pray together you have the power of agreement.[Matthew 18:19] When you pray alone you can tell God things that you want wisdom for concerning your relationship.[James 1:5]
---Rickey on 1/2/06|