I Am Dating A Married Man
I am dating a married man and am in love with him. I want to stop it, but he has some power over me. How can I stop it.
Moderator - It is called a spirit of lust. Fast, pray and get away from him and never have any contact again.
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---diana on 1/16/06
Helpful Blog Vote (16)
Did you and this man legally divorce from your spouses, and even if you did? If you truly repented from the sin committed and the hurt that probably you brought others in both families: Are you legally married to this man and have you both committed your life unto THE LORD? - have you asked forgiveness of the ones you hurt under this transgression? - have you gone to THE LORD to the respect? - HE'LL forgive if true repentance comes from the heart - ask for HIS GUIDANCE!
---Melody on 4/15/19|
In 2002 I dropped out of Christian fellowship for a while. In that time of weakness I let myself be seduced by a married man. We fell in love. I separated from my husband. At one point, leaning on God's strength, I left the married man. However, we got back together and have experienced 16 years growing in love for each other. Life, and my walk with the Lord, could have been much less painful. I miss being able to worship with a Church family, but I am isolated by my circumstances. God knows my situation and He will use it for His glory. My advice to anyone else in this position is get out early or suffer the long-term consequences.
---Me on 4/15/19|
The easiest way to not allow people to have power over you is to totally stay away from you. Don't see thmm. Don't talk to them on the phone. Don't chat with them online. If they can't communicate with you, they can't try to charm you.
---StrongAxe on 2/11/17|
One solution is to move in situations like this. Pastors sometimes move for similar reasons as do teachers who make the mistake of becoming intimidate with high school students. Unfortunately, like behaviors may occur elsewhere. Why don't you get your own husband?
---mike4879 on 2/12/17|
Great advice here. Married men who prey on single women...womanizers / Devils they are and know exactly what they are doing, and how to seduce the weaker vessel.
RUN, RUN, RUN. Only tragedy can come of it unless you repent.
Feelings are deceptive. Use your head, not your heart in this situation.
And yes, 11 years old or 1 2week old, it's a situation that is ongoing and has been around forever.
---kathr4453 on 2/11/17|
The Moderator is right.
Lady, it's called LUST!
One of the capital 7 sins.
Or Rightfully called one of the 7 mortal sins.
Mortal because it will cause SOUL DEATH if you don't stop.
RUN, change your number, take cold showers, but most of all PRAY TO GOD FOR DELIVERANCE.
HELL will have a power over you forever as well.
Google St. John Bosco (1815 - 1888) true dream about his trip to hell with his Guide.
That might break the married man's power over you.
Yes StrongAxe, I know Diana wrote this 11 years ago.
Someone else might be under the 'power'.
---Nicole_Lacey on 2/11/17|
I question matters of love these days. From what you write, it sounds like you are already one in flesh with him. In some cultures polygamy is allowed. Not this one. You are not to separate what God has joined. Do you know the view of his wife on the matter? Is his wife aware?
---mike4879 on 2/10/17|
hi,been married,basics there no true love if you are stealing breaking up a family with a man who truly is like spoiled food deteriorating the love & the family,while the mistress thinks she his woman it's like a thief come into hour home robs everything valuable you got. or had its a thorn in the flesh..must be exsized in jesus name.God hates sin.he hates see a mom cry becuase the husband will not do right.love of Jesus
---Elena95555 on 3/5/16|
The Moderator is correct. He has no power over you, but your lust does.
BTW, ANY contact means NONE.
Delete his phone number from your cell phone.
Not answering it isn't going to help because you might give into the temptation on the 10th time he calls.
No messages from friends.
Slowly you will get over him.
First of all.
Ask Jesus for FORGIVNESS and the Grace to get over him.
Jesus is willing and ABLE.
If you truly want to follow Jesus?
Believe it or not, it isn't any difference than food for me.
The cake does not have power over me.
I am weak and refuse to eat a CARROT.
After a while not eating sweets, my craving for those things goes away.
---Nicole_Lacey on 2/7/16|
In Bible cultures, a man can have more than one wife. This is not a Bible Culture. Thus, we forbad it. It's a flip-flop, topsy-turvy world where right is wrong and wrong is right. But what do the scriptures say? "I AM the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob." At least two of these had multiple wives. Of Jacob, called Israel, he had 12 sons through 4 women, thus we have the people of God. But the hypocrites favor divorce and remarriage. Then it's okay. 1 Corinthians 11:9, "Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for man." 2 Samuel 12:8, God takes credit. However, you should not separate what God has joined together.
---Mike on 2/1/16|
Christianity teaches a man and women joined together as one. You're not dating a married man you're stealing a man from his marriage and stealing time away from his children. This man stealing from his wife by spending time with you. Why there is such a strong pull to stop what you are doing.
This man has absolutely no power over you that is something you say to yourself to continue to see him because you do not have enough self-esteem to find a man who is single.
Sadly whatever love you think you feel is wasted on a man you have stolen from another women and all his love belongs to her. You are just his lust and physical temptation and a thorn in their marriage by allowing him to lust for you - run away.
---bestwayoflife on 1/17/15|
I know you think you can't walk away but you can. I would like to encourage you to ask God to open your eyes so that you see this relationship for what it is not what you want it to be. God designed you as his child and no parent wants their child to be served someone else's food, toys, etc. Ask God to give you a peace and to reveal how one sided your situation really is. God will never give you more than you can bear but the moderator is right you have to break contact and never look back.
---ginger on 1/14/15|
Since you knew he was married -you might reread.
[ Causing to Sin ] "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck
"Cursed is the man who leads the blind astray on the road." Then all the people shall say, "Amen!"
Romans deals with this as well.
I imagine there is more involved.
---Francis on 8/27/08|
He isn't the one who has power you.
Satan is the one the power over both of you.
Do not trust your heart, it is lying to you.
Do not speak or see him.
Act as he is dead.
Memorize Matthew 5:27-30
Lust is the one sin, Jesus tells us to do violates to ourself to get rid of it.
Every time you hear from him or see him, repeat these verses.
Burn every letter he sends you.
Do not read one word.
W. Houston has a song: 'SAME SCRIPT, DIFFERENT CAST'
Two women speaking to each other about the man they share.
The first tells the 2nd, she heard the same charming words.
Also, she tells her, she will be just like her(1st)after he is bored with her.
---Nicole on 8/27/08|
Zita:-It is the culmination in these other SINGLE dates which brings out the value in your method.Because you may be doing the same as The married man did to you.Does this make you a better Person? There is a song which says 'If you call,every body darling and everybody calls you Darling Too Its just a game you're playing --but when love comes knocking at your door, - you will find someelse can play this game as well as you.So as the years roll by you will sit and wonder why NOBODY calls you darling any more!!.Just a word of caution retaliation is no balm for truth.
---MIC on 8/27/08|
Yes..I have the same situation with you also, but I didnt know he lie to me until I found it my self. He is still married to his wife and for sure, he will not leave his wife just for me. In this, I'm gonna dumped him but I will do it my way. I will dates other man too but no more married man, only single man. I will go to dates with other man until i can find my soulmate & bring to marriage. That time we can easily forget the previous relationship with married man. That also make yourself easily to stand your broken hearted and we easily won the games as we dumped & teach him to be faithfull & put our positive mind that we will find someone who is truth 2 us. I also ask help from God to help me 2 overcome all this sadness.
---Zita on 8/27/08|
You know you are doing wrong so STOP like everyone you have the choice to say NO who has greater power? this man or GOD? YOU are at fault you cannot blame the man he is guiolty only for his part you for yours so repent and STOP the choice is yours you will have no peace until you repent and stop
---doree4573 on 4/14/08|
would you want some womam going after YOUR man if you were married?
---bonna6566 on 4/14/08|
The worst sin anyone can commit is Adultery/Fornication, because it's not your own self that reaps the consequences of it, when you get married you'll always be looking over YOUR OWN shoulder because of what YOU'VE done. The devil respects No One Even You! and will roll his head back in laughter when you ruin your own marriage with distrust and envy with the tract record you've got and can't hold on to your own husband with the haunt of what you've done, and doing.
---Carla5754 on 4/14/08|
Diana:: If the water is TOO Too Hot why would you want to remain in it and be cooked like a lobster.GET OUT.and enjoy the cool soothing fresh weeds.
---Emcee on 4/14/08|
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Repent for your sin.
---wes on 4/12/08|
Listen to what the moderator is saying and do what he says. You know this is wrong whether you are a Christian or not.
---M.A. on 8/17/07|
There is no future dating a married man, it's akso a sin. he is in a committed relationship. to his wife, You need to think ask your self would you want it to happen to you , Galatian chapter 5 be not decievd whatsoever a an soweth he shall also reap think about it, and ask God to help you move on in your life, i am sure there are many single men that would love to date you and plan a future, every lady wants marriage, you are block all opportunities for that to happen
---wisea73588 on 1/28/07|
In addition to looking the mirror, I hope you repented.
---anonymous on 1/27/07|
Having been where you are, all I can say is GET OUT NOW. As a very wise individual told me once, "nothing good can come of it"! The moment I left this man who was married I could finally look in the mirror and say I liked what I saw. I gained back my self respect when I left him. Leave him and love yourself!! It will be ok in the end.
---amy on 1/23/07|
When Israel married Rachel, He had a wife, Lea. And they three lived together, until death put them apart. his 12 children grew with a father. God did not say anything (to judge by the Bible record)against this. What destroys families are false teachings putting woman in the same level as men. We are different!. Like Israel, many. read your whole Bible.
---george on 1/20/07|
Diana, if this man has power over you like you say, it is the spirit of lust. The fact that you are asking for advice means you know you are wrong in participating. Not only is it adultery, it is also deceit, and there was NO deceit in Jesus. Revelation 21:8 says ALL liars will have their part in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone.
---faye4464 on 1/19/07|
I dident think so!!!!!!! So funny i quoted from the bible but you dident post my comment. I guess my oppion doesen't match yours so It's not posted...... dont throw it out there if you dont want any one to voice there stand on this matter.
---lori on 1/19/07|
If you only knew the anguish of divorce maybe you would stop. I dont know if he has children or any details, but you do and God does,so you will answer to Him for why you didnt "break this hold he has on you". He cant have one unless you allow him too.This kind of thing is a big part of why kids are running the streets,because daddy is with his girlfriend and doesnt have time for them.
---carol on 1/17/07|
Lori (and Diana),
Certainly you have the power to make your own choices. You may choose to serve the flesh or serve the Spirit. One way leads to death and the other to eternal life.
Romans 8:13, "For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live."
---Bruce5656 on 1/17/07|
Galatians 5:19, "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness....they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. "
We are not doing the judging. The word of God is your judge. This is not a gray area on which there is dissagreement amongst Christians because it is clearly addressed in scripture.
---Bruce5656 on 1/17/07|
When did God change his mind?
Thou shall not commit adultery
---John_T on 1/17/07|
Diane and Lori:
You are right, we should not judge, we are just trying to help you. If these men have "power over you" then you have given up God and his power over you. Turn to God. He is the lamp that lights our way. Remember that wolves come in sheeps clothing and Satan would love to destroy you and your love for God.
---Pat on 1/17/07|
Lori - Sounds like somebody stepped on your toes. You must repent and repent quickly of your adultery and turn right away from it and the man involved. Adultery is a very serious sin, and is listed in Galatians 5:19-21 as one of the sins that "those practicing such will not inherit the kingdom of God".
---Helen_5378 on 1/17/07|
You are sinning by loving another woman's husband. That is the bottom line and, unless you repent and turn away from this sin, you will pay a heavy penalty. I am not setting in judgement of you, but I am telling you the truth according to God's Word. If you don't want to hear that, you better take a long, hard look in the mirror. No one wants the "light" when their deeds are evil (dark).
---Crystal on 1/16/07|
What happend to thou shall not judge.I understand I to am in love with a married man.I have been for five years. But all of you are ready to cast the first stone. I pray everyday.He is also 20 years older then me so it is not always lust. Until you have walked a mile in my shoes dont judge understand. Pray for a answer. It just happend people do make mistakes it may not be right but thank god. My god is a understanding and forgiving and the only one that i must answer to is him and not you.
---lori on 1/16/07|
This is not right. This man is just using you. If he really loved you, he wouldn't be dating you when he's already married. Pray very hard and get out of this realtionship as soon as possible. Sorry to be so straightforward but I don't want you to go the wrong way.
---Nock on 3/28/06|
Who are you kiding? He doesn't have any power over you but what you allow him to have. The best way to stop it is just don't see him anymore. If he calls, have your husband answer the phone or if you answer, give the phone to your husband. If your husband is understanding, have him confront this person, (or your pastor). There's a lot you can do - but you've got to want too - that's your first step. If you are a Christian, just explain to him that God states it is a sin. (Period) Mt. 5:27
---WIVV on 2/17/06|
Do you want to be known as a home-wrecker or a Godly woman? The choice is yours. Repent and never see or speak with this man again.
---Madison on 1/16/06|
Amen, Moderator. Out of the mouth of two or three witnesses shall a matter be established.
---Lynn on 1/16/06|
You say you are in love with him? How can you be in love with a married man? It's obvious you do not love yourself. If you did, then you would have a bit more scruples on dating a married man. You HAVE to love yourself first. Do some research on the meaning of "true" love. Sorry about being so blunt (tough love).
---Fred_S. on 1/16/06|
You say that you would like to stop this relationship.. and you need to do just that. Repent and turn away.. realize that this man is doing wrong to his wife, and would someday do the same thing to you. He does not belong to you, but to his wife. Get involved in your church and seek out help from your pastor and godly friends. Gt into the word..
---Kim on 1/16/06|
Disengage from him as soon as possible.before its too late.
---pkay on 1/16/06|
I am going to pray for the wife!
---Sue on 1/16/06|
No one can convince you to do anything, only you can obey or sin. Satan has his ways of stealing our hopes and making us desperate for any affection. The man's control, or hold, over you is not from the man but from Satan. Satan knows what you want most and is using this man to make you believe that this time it is OK. Turning back to God and away from Satan is VERY hard. I have been there and hated it all the time.
---Barbara on 1/16/06|
Diana, I can sympathize with you because of a situation my best friend just went through. I just want to remind you that Satan sets traps for us that are so alluring and appeal so strongly to our flesh but they are still traps. They are designed to destroy us. There is never blessing in sin ... it's just a trap that feels good for a season. But the "feel good" time is just a season. God tells us to avoid these situations for our own good. The devastation that follows sin is very real.
---DoryLory on 1/16/06|
Just say "NO". But YOU have to be willing to stop yourself. It's YOUR choice alone, and only YOU are responsible for your actions. No one can FORCE you to go out with them. You are in denial.
---Fred_S. on 1/16/06|
Your not in LOVE with him your in LUST with him.Plain and simple. You are helping him destroy a marriage.He Does NOT belong to you. I'll bet anything he already has other women he's having sex with besides you!! Stop being a silly women,cut off seeing this man ,repent to God and go get an STD test quickly! God has all the power,NOT MAN!Remember you reap what you sow.
---benna5383 on 1/16/06|
You are encouraging this man to betray his wife. You are betraying your fellow woman, his wife. You are betraying yuorself, your future. And that is before you think about the fact that you are betraying God, as you are flouting His rules.
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/16/06|