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Should I Marry My Boy Friend

Should I marry my boy friend who is under treatment for drinking?

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 ---margie on 1/30/06
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Absolutely not!!!!!! Not for at least 3 years of him not taking one single drop. If you don't believe me marry him, and see what surprises you incounter!!
---Doug on 10/22/07

If a person is in treatment for a drinking problem, they need time to work on themselves and a new marriage is going to make it more difficult to stay focused on that person's number one priority, other than their relationship with God, which is sobriety. Wait until he has at least a year of sobriety, and is solid in recovery before even talking about marriage.
---Madison on 10/19/07

I'd say do one thing at a time and the first thing is for him to get his drinking problem sorted out. Marriage should wait until after that. I'm glad you found out about the problem before marrying him because many marriage have broken up after this problem has been discovered. I hope the treatment goes well for him.
---M.A. on 3/24/07

No! The mistake is to think you can change him after marriage. He may even say he will change after marriage, but he won't. Drinking is both a physical and mental problem and unless he gets help, it will only get worse. Christians and non-Christians are in the same sad situation. If he's not a Christian, coming to know Christ as Saviour is the first step - but he still will need help - other than you marrying him.
---WIVV on 1/31/06

I've been sober for over 20 years and have been an alcohol and drug abuse counselor for over 15 years. Please.....wait until he has at least 1 year continuous sobriety before even promising to marry him. Let him concentrate on his recovery.
---Dee on 1/31/06

Is this a manditory or volunteer treatment? If manditory, it might just be for the cause. Just be aware that this might be a life-long struggle for him. You guys might have to change your life styles, like drinking buddies, etc.
---Fred_S. on 1/31/06

Wait until he has successfully completed his treatment. Then wait a few nmonths to make sure he can stick to a "no alcohol", Then get him to PROMISE NEVER to take any more alcohol. If he is an alcoholic, there is a great damger that if he EVER touches alcohol again, he will be sliding down that slope again. And you will have to say no drink for yourself too, for if you drink it would be an unbearable temptation to him to join you.
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/31/06

Thanks, Madison. Yes, I also know a few who have a happy marriage, but they stopped drinking for the rest of their life. They were delivered. My point is that I have never seen a happy marriage were there is one or more partners who is a drinker or abusing addictive substances. Wouldn't you like to see her wait and see if he is really going to be set free from this before she gives her life to him?
---john on 1/31/06

John, I know plenty of people who got sober in AA and had very happy marriages.
---Madison on 1/30/06

Jubilee. What is she supposed to do when his treatment is over and he has a couple of bad days and hits the bottle again? This is what happens all the time. Why get involved in such a gamble? Sure, he will be forgiven but he's not fit to marry until he is delivered.
---john on 1/30/06

Any Christian should NOT marry anyone until they are absolutely certain that GOD is putting the marriage together. The reason the divorce rate is as high in the Christian community as in the world is that too many Believers decide who they want to marry and run to the altar and ask God to bless THEIR choice.
---Robert on 1/30/06

If he is under treatment fine you can go ahead and marry him. all you have to do is to pray for him ask the Lord the wash him with the Blood of Jesus Christ and he will Clear for to marry. i wish you the best.
---jubilee_Ghana on 1/30/06

I have never, and I repeat, never seen a happy marriage were one or more of the partners was addicted to alcohol. Unless he is miraculously delivered from this I wouldn't do it if I were you. You will be sorry. I've pastored for 18 years and had many cry on my shoulders saying they wish they would have listened. Sorry about being harsh about this.
---john on 1/30/06

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