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Divorces Three Times

This guy might want to marry me, but he has been married three times already. God hasn't spoken to me either way. What should I do?

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 ---diane_synder on 2/6/06
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hello!family of God,this kind of a really serious issue...let me see what does the word say: Gal.5:1Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free,and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.v.16.This I say then,Walk in the Spirit,and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. My sister 'n Christ this guy has been married 3x Can you even believe you are even goin' find out the truth? My husband's first wife came to see me bout 3 days after we got married! I was very young (and dumb!) believe it or not? Told me the truth! take a long time don't rush & marry someone so,quick!The fact you ask online you got doubt... get closer to the Lord HE IS REAL! HIS Love is genuine!
---ELENA on 4/15/12

Marriage or being single is not as important as living a holy life pleasing to God. Questions: Are you both born-again Christians? Since marriage is intended to be a lifetime committment, then why, for what reasons, was the guy divorced three times?
---Eloy on 4/14/12

You're all assuming that it was his fault that the marriages broke up. Maybe it was the wives fault? Maybe he tried everything he could to make it work but was against insurmountable odds such as violence or alcoholism. At the time of marriage, these problems may have been hidden and only came to light later. Or maybe he knew about them but saw through these problems to love the women.

It's not always then mans fault.
---J on 4/14/12

Plan to be number 4
---francis on 1/4/11

HIs track record looks spotted. Could it be when he walks down the aisle and promises, "Do you promises for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and until death you will never part", he was lying?
---Eloy on 1/4/11

look elsewhere. this guy could have a commitment issue otherwise he wouldn't be divorced 3 x's! Also wait on God. I should have waited on him with my first husband,instead our marriage only lasted 7months & ended in adultry HE commited & me 6 months pregnant.God told me to wait & I didn't, thankfully God is good & sent me my husband a month after this divorce & now 11 yrs later & 3 boys later we're happy.So ask yourself if you went to your heavenly father & asked this what would he say?
---candice on 1/4/11

RebuildingMyLife-- Yes. Thank God, you are alive.

Hope others will read your advice and take it to heart. I Believe we Christians are sometimes too idealistic for our own good. Jesus said Mat10:16
Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

And we may forget at times that we have an enemy (And I don't mean your husband or anyone else's!)The enemy of our souls. Jhn10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

We are especially vulnerable when "in love". Look to Jesus. Make HIM your first love!
---Donna66 on 1/4/11


Yes, you are right... I was blinded by love!
I did not listen to my head, heart, and gut.
There were "Red Flags" that I chose to ignore. I was in love! YIKES! Now, I deal with PTSD, because of the choice of staying too long in the relationship... Protect yourself and ask a million questions and get to know his family members, and where he goes to church... If he really does attend?
I thank God I'm Alive!
---RebuildingMylife on 1/4/11

Sorry Diane, I was reading something else and got it mixed up with Paul in Thessolonica and Luke, a physician, writing sometime after the fall of Jerusalem.
Anyway, still pray persistently as "ought to pray and not faint".
There's a ton of emotional scar tissue from three marriages...proceed slowly.
---larry on 1/3/11

//It took every last courage and self-guilt to leave this man.//
I'll bet! As a Divorcee (x1) I can imagine the pain.
I've said I will never marry again, and though I've had a few chances to marry and been tempted a couple of times...the Lord has "delivered me from temptation"(ha).
I'm sure by now you have learned that "the process of saving someone" is futile, even if they don't deceive you. You sound like you may be a "rescuer" who is drawn to men with problems. For even "deep rooted" mental problems usually show up before marriage...if love hasn't blinded you to them!

God bless you in rebuilding your life. Make sure Jesus is an important part of it!
---Donna66 on 1/3/11 is not right to judge a person before we get to know him.but somehow being married 3x would post a big questions?what went wrong in their marriages?could it be him the reason for that 3 separations.why all failed?if i were you-ill do a deep research before entering into it.marriage is a no joke..its easy to enter but hard to get away without being left broken as a person.
---mj on 1/3/11

I am happy that you have discussed this with God. "God hasn't spoken" means WAIT, so wait and watch and pray for God to meet you at the point of your need in HIS own way. Do not give any GREEN light when God has not spoken.
---Adetunji on 1/3/11

I was married for a very short time to my first husband after he cheated. Second husband for years with abuse. After that marriage and not even 40 years old then and I said, I would never marry again. Along came this so-called perfect Christian man that my family and I fell in love with. I thought he dropped down from heaven! He was wonderful to me and then right after the honeymoon the nightmare began. For almost 4 years, I was fed with lies from him and his family... He was a full blown addict and had a huge host of mental deep rooted issues from his past. I did my very best and almost lost my own sanity in the process of saving someone that deceived me. It took every last courage and self-guilt to leave this man.
---RebuildingMyLife on 1/2/11

1 CORINTHIANS 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

Mark 10:11 And he saith unto them, Who shall put away his wife commitheth adultery,

PROVERB 6:32 But whoso commitheth adultery with a women lacketh understanding, he doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
---RICHARD on 1/1/11

The real question is where is he at now? There are several people at my present church including the leader of our singles group who have been divorced three times and remarried. Most of them will tell you that they had a lot to learn before they finally got it right on the third try. And many people have a track record like that until they repent and become a Christian. You can't place a lot of blame on something someone did before they became a Christian. But, it depends on what you think about divorce and remarriage too. I mean, for some people just one divorce is too much.
---Obewan on 12/29/10

Pray Diane, as Paul told the believers in Thessolonica. "men ought to pray always and faint not."
We can give you the obvious answer of no, but what you really need is discernment for which there are no short cuts.
Pray and ask God to reveal himself to you in the daily activities where and when you are not in prayer.
---larry on 12/28/10

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How long have you known this guy? Unless it's been over a year, don't even consider it. You don't know him well enough.

If he's been divorced three times...that's not a very good track record. Does he speak poorly of his previous wives? Look out! Marry him and you'll understand why the others were such witches!

If he's been widowed ...find out how the other wives wives died. (OK, maybe I've been watching too many crime shows!)

No need to ask the Lord if you should marry this guy. Ask Him if you should continue to date him! And be willing to accept it if the answer is no.
---Donna66 on 12/28/10

As P.T Barnum said concerning fools...
---John on 12/28/10

Major Cable Network seeking women (25-50) who have been married multiple times for new docu-series!
---Nicole on 12/28/10

Unless you are interested in him do nothing at all. If you are then you need to find out whether he actually has been divorced 3 times or widowed 3 times because, I would guess, that will make a huge difference. Three divorces would set many alarm bells ringing. Most importantly though, is he a Christian and, if divorced, was he a Christian at the time of any divorce? If so you'd need to know why the divorce/s took place.
---M.P. on 2/27/08

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Don't ask any questions. Leave running fast as your feet will take you. He is going to lie to you. You will never know the truth. He will definitely say it was THEIR fault. Of course it always is/ We never like to fess up to our mistakes. Now do we? Get out of there quick unless you want to be Missus #4. It gets worse. You can't change him ,hon.
---Robyn on 6/7/07

I think I know that guy, he begged and teased me to marry him and his girlfriend, he had been divorced twice already but of course that wasn't HIS fault, well, someone did their wedding, and guess what they lasted 6 months.
I know of a few Godly, loving, single guys that would love a to meet a good Christian girl. Avoid problems and seek GOD"S best . please
---Jim on 6/7/07

That's a rough marriage history. Three times already and you may be the fourth. The message right now is look closer, just in case. He may just have a perplexing case of bad judgment, On the other hand he may be a misogynist, a narcissist, or an addict. In which case betrayal of your love waits just beyond the horizon.
---jhonny on 6/7/07

I am going through a divorce with a man who has been married two times before me. I knew the 'other women' had issues but I realized after several years, he has deep-rooted, very serious issues. He will not come to the realization he needs to change. It's sad, I was very in love with him. He's going to lose me for good.
---Someone on 6/6/07

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First I suggest you find out what happened to his first three marriages. Then ask youself why you might want to marry him. Don't marry just to get married. Have you been married before?
---alan8869_of_UK on 3/15/07

You can't judge someone by their past. that is all people do now, is judge someone because of their past. I was divorced and so wasn't my husband, before we got married to eachother. His past is his past, and vice versa. If you love him and he loves you and you both want to get married, then get married. If we let the past interfer with our relationships then no one would be together.
---Rebecca_D on 7/10/06

Are you going to be the fourth divorce if you marry him?
---Helen_5378 on 7/10/06

I married a man who also was married three times before. He claims he never wanted divorce from any of them but due to circumstances...We split up and then got back together and now after 1 month he tells me he wants a divorce. I am devistated and am glad that there is someone whose marriage did work in spite of the prior marriages. God can do it if both partners are willing.
---Just_Wondering on 7/10/06

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That reminds me about the man who lost his third wife. Somone was remarking how sad that was and inquired what happened to the first wife.
"She ate poision mushrooms." was the reply.
"How sad, what about the second wife?"
"She ate poision mushrooms too."
"Really, what a terrible coincidence! What about your third wife?"
"She woulden't eat her mushrooms..."
---Bruce5656 on 2/7/06

Alan, I knew someone would say that as soon as I typed the words!!
---M.P. on 2/7/06

As a man who married and divorced 3 times before I was saved, I will tell you that it is possible, by the grace of God, for that person to be the most faithful husband you could have. I would pray earnestly about this marriage, though, as it is difficult enough to stay together today. My 4th wife and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary on the 10th of Feb. As far as Ralph's comment about issues, we ALL have issues, we just have to realize that it is all about God's grace.
---tommy3007 on 2/7/06

Nellah ... that is so sad. Would you not marry a good man?
---alan8869_of_UK on 2/7/06

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MP "Three divorces would set many alarm bells ringing" So too, I should think, would 3 widowhoods.
---alan8869_of_UK on 2/7/06

depends on when these divorces took place. After he was saved, or before? My best friends are a couple who have been married for 22 yrs. Her first marriage, his third. He was a main line herroine addict for yrs between the time he got home from Viet Nam and when he got saved. His 3 marriages happened during that time. God gloriously saved and delivered him and brought him into Becky's life. What God has called clean, we are not to call unclean the word says
---anonymous on 2/6/06

Don't even waste your time considering it. A man who wants to get married for a fourth time has some issues.
---ralph7477 on 2/6/06

Trying some Christian counseling but don't be surprised if this man refuses. He has issues. Before I became a Christian, I had been divorced three times also. I married three men who were verbally/emotionally abusive to me ... I was reared in a family with an abusive alcoholic Daddy, hence my choices for men. Since becoming a Christian has healed me. I don't think I'll marry again. I'm 56 and set in my ways!
---Nellah on 2/6/06

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