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Son Forgets His Homework

I have a 12 year old son who is constantly forgetting homework, or either he does it and forgets to turn it in! Anybody out there dealing with this? Solutions?

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 ---Cathy_Y on 2/20/06
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we have been struggling with this with our son for years, now he is in high school and it is worse then ever, he just forgot to turn in a project worth a test grade, insisted he gave it to teacher, i found it in his book bag
---leslie on 2/14/12

We had my son bring home every book every night. No way to forget home work when everything is home.

Also we told him if he had problems turning in his homework I would be glad to follow him around at school to make sure it was done.

Funny, he had no problems after that.
---Pastorwalt on 1/11/12

We are having the same problem, but our son's teacher is balking a little at some of the suggestions. We created a log to check off and the teacher said he wants our son to be more self-aware, so he doesn't push the issue. Our kid is 8, and I think you definitely have to figure out how to cooperate with the teacher so that communication is clear. That's the only way we were able to get a handle on it.
---Ben on 10/13/11

Remember that the education of a child is a team effort. My question is that if this is a problem in regards to bringing home items from school- what is the teacher doing to assure that homework is not forgotten? If they know this is a weakness for the child what are they doing at school to help build the skill.
---Joey on 9/24/08

I was going to suggest that it might be related to ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), but Darlene_1 beat me to it. It is something that should be checked out.

People who have mild physical or mental disorders can often learn to develop coping mechanisms that help them deal with them, if they know what's going on.

(I think I've had a mild case of ADD since early childhood, but I have many small rituals that I hardly even think about, that make sure I never forget my wallet, keys, lights, etc.)
---StrongAxe on 4/15/08

If punishment doesn't work, how about a reward system? You could place a chart on the fridge.
Monday through Friday, he/she gets a star/sticker on the days they remember. A full week of stars = alone time with Mom/Dad or 1/2 hour extra computer time, whatever.

Motivation worked better for us than punishment. God bless you.
---deb on 4/14/08

My 11 year old daughter is doing the same thing. So far we have taken away tv, access to the computer, no more sleepovers and canceled our spring break plans - she did homework instead. First day back at school today and she forgot some homework again! I'm at a loss but will ban tv again today. Promised to cancel summer camp if no improvement. Just keep on plodding away :-)
---Jan_Hunter on 4/14/08

Set up systems. 1)ALWAYS carry backpack. 2)get agenda. Clip past pages.Write EVERYTHING EXPECTED IN BOOK! Every Day! 3) Agenda stays in backpack unless in use. Then it goes right back in. 4)Agenda comes out at end of day, student reads assignments, packs anything needed. 5)Finally, Mom/Dad: Take initiative to read agenda after Homework's done. INITIAL IT. DAILY. If he forgets something at school/home, DON'T RESCUE! Reprimands will help him become attentive to his own responsibilities. Routine critical.
---lauren on 1/18/08

My son is in college, but I went through this exact issue from the 4th thru 10th grade. He'd do his homework, but forget to turn it in. I stayed in constant communication w/his teachers, even took him out of public school for a while and had him on home studies for a bit. Finally, what worked was a daily log such as what Madison described and eventually he got the hang of it, graduated h.s. and is doing well in college. Pray and believe it can turn around.
---AlwaysOn on 11/27/07

I'm having this problem with my 6yr old. he is very bright we do his HW with himbut he will take it out of his folder and put it in his desk or book bag and then the teacher ask for it he says he doesn't know whereit is so they give him a zero, we will pick him up and ask he will say he doesn't know, we tell him to check and he finds it but she still gives him a zero b/c he din't have it when she asked. this is unfair.
---Nikkita on 11/27/07

I too have an 11-year old son (will be 12 in December) who has this problem. It is driving me insane!!! I was thinking of having him tested for attention deficit, but decided against it because they want input from 3 teachers, in addition to ours. I hear it goes on their school record. Overall he's a good student, need to be pushed constantly in order for him to do well. Please feel free to email perhaps we can exchange solutions. Thanks.
---Belinda on 10/30/07

He was mad at me because he felt like I had taken his choice away from him but I told him that I hadn't taken his choices. I had merely "upgraded" them. Now his choices were a: do the homework or b: get a paddling. Before that, it was do it or don't do it. We have had no more problems.
---Linda on 4/11/06

"Get a homework log for him and have the teacher sign it each day to confirm the homework was turned in, then you sign it when he completes his homework."

This didn't work with our son. He wouldn't bring the assignment book home. Everything we did to help him, he would counter it with something else. Although we really didn't want to go the way of a paddling, we had no other choice because we had tried everything else.
---Linda on 4/11/06

When I got up there, I was met with the principal and my son's teacher and they laid a paper in front of me. It was his TCAP test. He had scored proficient in every subject and was sixth grade material. We ended up letting him decide whether he wanted to go on to sixth grade but when he started that pattern over again, we gave permission for the school to paddle him. He has done his homework since.
---Linda on 4/11/06

Yes, I dealt with this for two years straight, even to the point that they were going to retain him in the fifth grade because of his grades. I consented. The day before they started back in August and he was to take fifth grade over again, I got called in. I was upset because they had already done all the tests on him and found him without disability so I couldn't understand why they were wanting me to come in again.
---Linda on 4/11/06

Barb, I didn't know you had a dog. O'! you mean Steve ate your homework...just kiddin. Can I have a little piece of your carrot cake?
---Eloy on 3/26/06

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Take your son to a Psychiatrist and have him tested for ADHD ,that is a classic symptom of that disorder. It is like those children have a form of amnesia,I knew of one that did class work and would stick it in the desk without taking it to the teachers desk. Every paper was a 100. They aren't slackers it is a real disorder and should be treated as an disability. Please be kind to him they want to do well but can't help themselves,they require understanding and professional treatment.
---Darlene_1 on 3/25/06

The dog ate my homework! :)
---NVBarbara on 3/5/06

I suffered from short term memory loss, cost me a good job. It isn't he doesn't decide to forget, he will forgot and forget he forgot. It was finally cured when I got my diabetes under control, and now am no longer having a problem. Get him checked out by a doctor, could even be deafness.
---mike6553 on 2/21/06

Also, put some thought in your childs maturity level. My youngest is 11 (6th grade) and we started the year with the same problem. I would guess his maturity level is a year behind. He consentrates on "playing" with his buddies, instead of his school work after school. And when I say maturity level, I'm not talking intelligence. My son is an A/B student, class prez. etc. He's still a child at heart. We did as Madison suggested. It worked great.
---Fred_S. on 2/20/06

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I am almost 20, and am in college. Just a few short years ago in school I loved to do homework. I was a problem child, but for not for homework, the problem was many of the books I had to study from were not allowed in the home, so I had to study away from home.
---Niki on 2/20/06

Probably you should help you son do home work or watch him do his home work.
---erica on 2/20/06

He is being passive-agressive, or he has short term memory problems. Both should be evaluated professionally.
Being passive-agressive is a "nice" way to fail to comply with the requirements, and ameliorate the consequences.

How long has it been going on? Are there any tensions in the home to which he may be reacting?
Because he is 12, you are setting the stage for 7th grade and beyond. Patterns not dealt with become harder to extinguish with time. Talk to the school psychologist.
---John_T on 2/20/06

When he "forgets" his homework then you assign some for him.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS assign more than the school/teacher would. If you run out of things make some up. Let him write sentences. Tell him before hand what you are going to do and stand by it. He will soon learn that it is easier to do his school homework and get it over with instead of dealing with your demands.
---Elder on 2/20/06

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Get a homework log for him and have the teacher sign it each day to confirm the homework was turned in, then you sign it when he completes his homework.
---Madison on 2/20/06

At one time of another, we all have that problem with our kids. My kids get home from school, get a snack, and have to finish homework and reviewed by us before they are allowed to watch tv, computer, phone, etc. The teachers at their schools all have e-mail addresses now, so if requested, can send you kids assignments for the week, or any other issues. But you as a parent, HAVE TO STAY ON TOP OF THE SITUATION. Take some of the kids "fun" away, and I bet you his/her memory will clear right up.
---Fred_S. on 2/20/06

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