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My Virgin Left Me

I am a virgin, I was dating a girl who also was a virgin we had been going out for about 3 months than she left me and had sex with another man within 2 weeks of dating him. Now she regrets it and is unhappy with him and she wants me back because the relationship we had was better. What should I do?

Moderator - I would say "See Ya".

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 ---joe on 3/3/06
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How do you know she was a virgin? Did you just take her word for it?
---jerry6593 on 8/25/08

Your ex-girlfriend demonstrated a serious character flaw. How will you ever feel that you can trust her? You don't need the doubts this situation will cause to hang over you. If you were one of my sons, I'd recommend moving on. There's lots more fish in the sea.
---DoryLory on 8/22/08

We are to have the love of Christ, and if we do, we know forgiveness is inseperable, essential to that love. It frees us, it frees others...Seek the Lord for His direction. God is in the business of reconciliation. On 3/10, the mod refers to character flaws as possibility...I believe we all have some since God is not done with us yet
---Christina on 8/21/07

Does this mean that you consider betrayal to be something that is unforgivable?
Or have you forgotten the whole "seventy times seven" thing?
---Mark on 8/21/07

I am a virgin too, I know how precious it is to keep yourself pure for the right one. I am so sorry she did that to u. If it was me, and it was a man who did that to me, I would have a hard time trusting him. I can't tell you what to do, because I don't know the depth of your relationship with her. However, I would take the moderator's advice.
---Marcia on 8/21/07

Being 2gether for 3 mths is not long,when U R married,D woman U chose is some1 U must live wf 4 abt 60 yrs! Evaluate Y she left u previously.Hv no contact 4 abt 2 mths N C wat happens.Do NOT jump back into D relationship,there's oredi a breach of trust.Talk 2 married people grounded in d Lord who U trust N respect,D older folks usually hv better eyes in such things.If D Holy Spirit tel U 2 move on,obey,even if U dont FEEL like it.Do 4give her,it's only 2 release urself,she oredi has herself 2 live wf.
---Ly on 8/20/07

Do as the moderator says.Also
She made her bed hard. Let her sleep in it.
---Robyn on 5/22/07

You don't mention love at all here. So, I'd just forgive her, but not take her back. Pray about it.
---sue on 5/22/07

Tell her she had her chance and blew it. Don't take her back!
---WIVV on 5/22/07

Yes you should forgive her , but that does not mean you have to take her back. Pray for guidance
---tonya3849 on 7/29/06

If she did it once What's to say she won't do it again And if you have to ask should You take her back then you know the answer would be no Save your self for someone that deserve say you are a virgin stay that way until you meet the right person
---Betty on 5/18/06

Hi Joe, Forgive her yes, as for taking her back, pray about it first, then go about deciding with Gods help. From my own experience, knowing that my girlfriend is not a virgin was/is very painful. I am doing my best to get over it, decide if you will want to go through that for her if it becomes a sore issue for you. You must also deal with trusting her again too if you take her back, pray about it and then try and solve it. I will pray for you too Joe. All the best with whatever you decide. God Bless.
---Ques098 on 3/15/06

Before you take her back, pray about the matter and ask God what He would have you do. Do forgive her, though. At the least, you two could still be friends.
---Nock on 3/12/06

it is not our opinions that matter, but what God says. Read His word, pray, seek HIS counsel. He knows what is best in your individual circumstance. Forgiveness is SO very important, but only God knows all. I think of Mary Magdalene, and the book of Hosea...Hosea is a beautiful picture of Christ's love for us, the unfaithful by nature. Bless you

Moderator - God's Word says the person is either not a Christian and/or has some serious character flaws.
---christins on 3/10/06

You don't say whether or not you are both Christians. If you are I would suggest you tell her that you'd prefer not to have any contact for some time to give you both the opportunity to pray about this and clear your minds on this. You have several things to think about:- trust, forgiveness, betrayal and love amongst others. It's YOUR future we are talking about, not OURS so you will have to decide, but just remember, you don't have to decide immediately.
---f.f. on 3/10/06

This is not solely a question of "sin" but it is betrayal. I would not take her back.
---A_Catholic on 3/9/06

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I was also in the same situation a while ago. You need to realize that if she had loved you she would have never done that. Being a virgin/pure until marriage is so special. You have a gift that she can NEVER take back. You can be friends with her, but dating her would not be wise.
---angie on 3/8/06

I would say that she obviously don't take it as serious as you do. Sex should be saved for marriage! You are doing the right thing by waiting, and you need to find someone with the same convictions! I know I won't settle for anyone who isn't a virgin... i agree that God forgives, but on the same token, He gives us the power to run from sin! if you give in, and compromise, what else will you have to compromise in??
---chrissychriss2995 on 3/7/06

Forgive her and accept her again. Pray for your relationships and avoid temptations. specially in times that you're all alone. always pray for there's a power in prayer. Do it and you'll see that God moves in His loving way for the two of you.
---marie on 3/7/06

Don't misunderstand me, she's lost your trust and I would also say 'see ya.' However I'd like to know why she left you?
---NVBarbara on 3/7/06

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I guess I would say to be cautious because if she left you before and went to another man so quickly, she could (and probably would) leave again. I'm not making a judgment about her having sex.....that's personal. Only from the point of view that trust was broken.
---Jeannie on 3/4/06

Instead of being so critical of her, try to forgive. Maybe you will not end up dating and in a relationship but at least you will have forgiven her. We all make mistakes and don't always do what is best and in the will of God, but praise God, He forgives us and calls us to forgive. If God treated us the way the other responders suggest we all would be on our way to hell. But praise God for sending Jesus to bridge us back to the father. Follow the example laid out by our heavenly Father and forgive.
---Dee on 3/4/06

I would say the same, see ya. As easy as it was for her to have sex in two weeks, who is to say that she will not do it again? Her mind is not in God but on what she desires in the flesh. Don't let love blind your decisions. You are already out of the relationship, doesn't that give you a hint?
---Lupe2618 on 3/4/06

There is a story about a horse, he found a hole in the fence and he jumped it and always went right back to that same spot to jump the fence. Farmer fixed that fence and the horse would go back look at the fence and see if there was anyway he could get out once again! My word to you is this she jumped the fence once, and if you patch things up will she want to look for that hole in the fence again?
---AL on 3/4/06

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You must ask the question of forgiveness. We have all sinned and we may have to live with the consequences of that sin. My question to you is if you were in her position what would you do? and then ask yourself, what would Jesus do or say in this situation. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you alone with Scripture.
---micha7757 on 3/3/06

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