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Why All This Self Pity

Why has God allowed so much suffering in my life? Rape, beating, cocaine addiction (now recovered) an uncaring father and a bad car accident, as well as loosing my job. Why do I suddenly have all this self pity?

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 ---anon on 3/11/06
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The Lord gave me a dream, I was upset for going through alot and wanted to know WHY. In the dream, I was in front of the Lord on His throne. He said "can you say at any point through all this, that I was not with you?". I started crying. NEVER do I remember Him not being there with me.

The point is, dont ask WHY, be joyful knowing He is there and share everything with Him. Knowing why doesnt help, being with Him does.
---Arielah on 3/9/08

Sometimes I read these responses and my heart breaks with your depth. Other times I understand why I have suffered so in the past. No one could tell me at the time that one day I would say thank you Lord for carrying me. Thank you Lord that I had that time to know her/him. Thank you Lord I was glad it was me bc today I knew what to say to that person bc my journey took me there too.
Thank you Lord that you suffered for me so that in the next life I don't have to.
---Andrea on 9/23/07

Thank you Christina for your kindness and encouragement.

It is a pleasure and privilege to be empowered to share.

Bless you beloved.
---josef on 9/22/07

joef, AMEN!!! Some truly lifegiving words.
---Christina on 9/20/07

anon, submit to God and resist the devil. The devil is the accuser and slanderer. He slanders you to God, God to you, you to yourself, you to others, and others to you. God calls you more than you believe yourself to be and you oppose yourself when you say what He doesn't say. I pray that He would grant you repentance to the acknowledging of the truth and that you would recover yourself from the snare of the devil.
---Linda on 9/20/07

God is not guilty of those things that happened to you. People are, and that as a result of the fall of Adam.
---Linda on 9/20/07

I know you may not want to see this, it is always, God said to me. Here goes again. God said to me, "Just hang in there". I will add. I know it is not easy, but you must pray for strength and God's power, also for stability. And hang in there. Believe me, I have not in my whole life had an easy life. Hang in there. Whatever you do if you are born-again,please do not leave God. Have a great day.
---catherine on 9/20/07

Anon, bless you heart, the best of us have pity parties, it is an aspect of our human nature that we strive daily to overcome. Please do not be to hard on yourself, you have gone through much in your life, rejoice, you have gone through them, showing your strength, the Fathers strength, that is being perfected in your weakness. One of the greatest prophets of God, Elijah, experienced the same thing, He requested that the LORD take his life while fleeing from Jezebel. Cont..
---josef on 9/20/07

Pt.2 This was the Fathers' word to him and you. "Arise and eat." And he looked, and behold there was a cake baking on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head...And the angel of the LORD came again the second time, and touched him, and said, "Arise and eat," because the journey is to great for you." The bread and water represented the Word and the inspiration that flows from Him. It is the Fathers' Word and Spirit that strengthens us. Cont.
---josef on 9/20/07

Pt.3 He does understand that this lifes journey is to hard for us in our own strength. He has made provision for us through HIs Word and Spirit. With all that is within you, allow your focus to remain on the goodness of God and HIs provisions. Knowing foremost that the Father loves you. You are obviously a "can do" child of God, for the Father is faithful "who will not allow you to be tested above that you are able, and will make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it."
---josef on 9/20/07

Actually, it is quite normal for us to fall into the self-pity trap. But I know that Jesus says that we are to die to self, pick up our Cross and carry it. We should find peace and joy in the midst of our trials. I believe that with God's strength, as you recieve victory over one trial, another trial is right around the corner. But through every storm of life that we as christians go through I believe that we mature and grow in the Lord.
---Cynthia on 9/19/07

Anon, we live in a fallen world still impacted by the fall of Adam. Rapes, beatings, cocaine addictions, uncaring fathers, car accidents, and job losses...if you look at all those things, you will realize that man in his fallenness makes choices that affect others. The good news is that none of those things change who Jesus is and what He has done in redemption. None of those things have the authority to control us unless we give it to them.
---Paulie on 9/19/07

i think this blog has gone really far down the list now so not sure if anyone will still see this post, but i did start a christian councelling course to help others. Its been a passion of mine for years to help rape survivors and teen addicts. It was after the first seminar that all this started. So thank you to those who mentioned that i can help others. It was great confirmation. Thank you all so much! this site is great!
---anon on 3/13/06

Eloy. Thanks SO much for your advice. I will definately follow it. Just thinking about it has lifted me already and given me hope. And thanks for using the word Christian warriors :)

Alan_of_uK: thank you for the scripture!

Darlene, your statement that its ok to grieve really helped me too.. and thanks to everyone else as well. I really appreciate all your responses.
---anon on 3/13/06

You may never see "why?" This is a fallen, flawed world. People have free will and DO make choices that cause others great pain. Even men of God have suffered from self pity and despair (e.g. Jonah, Elijah, Jeremiah and David) Read the psalms. The great DELUSION in depression is "knowing" that things will NEVER get better. Alan described it well.. If you can't pray or focus on the Bible, try just "casting all your care upon Him"(I Pet 5:7)over and over. It WILL get better.
---Donna on 3/13/06


with the Losses in your life you can use them to glorify GOD..someone in your life will be going what you have gone through and you and only you will be able to reach them for Christ,

GOD bless you
---willow on 3/12/06

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As for why you are suffering, I cannot answer that. I do know that God is soverign and He allows what He allows for the greater good. My childhood was terrible, and my adult life wasn't that great either, but God is taking my struggles and using them for His glory.
---Madison on 3/12/06

I really think you need to see a licensed mental health professional. It not only sounds like depression, but you could be suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Cognitive behavior therapy is very helpful with that and depression. Medication may be indicated as well.
---Madison on 3/12/06

I went to work one day, went on an assignment, and my brain suddenly froze ... & I was helpless, with clinical depression. All common sense disappeared, & I knew this was worse than anyone else had ever had, that I would not get better, because the doctors would not understand ...
The doctor WAS able to help and with medication I eventually recovered. How about my faith? I don't know, because I can no longer remember much about that 3 months of hell, except that I kept clinging on to Romans 8.
---alan_of_uK on 3/12/06

Anon ... it sounds as if you are at the onset of depression, or maybe further in. As well as what Eloy in particular has said, I believe that you should see a doctor. He will have God-given brains to identify if that is part of yuor problem. Depression once established causes chemical changes in the brain, meaning you cannot think in your usual way,and it is important to get that sorted out, and maybe medication is appropriate
---alan_of_uK on 3/12/06

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God says to "cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.." So do it.
---Lynn on 3/12/06

You may feel worthless and incompetent but look at the Lord Jesus Christ. He is worthy and fully able to save you to the uttermost, keep you from falling, do exceedingly abundantly above all you could ask or think, to keep that which you have committed unto Him against that day, able to succor those who are being is His worthiness and ability we praise. One good look at Him is all that is needed to turn any pity party into a celebration of HIS life.
---Paulie on 3/12/06

nella, i do try and do that, but it feels like ive been doing that for so long and i just feel really tired. i pulled myself together almost 10 yrs ago and now last year the car accident, this yr my job.. and old emotions are surfacing. i hate feeling like a quitter . i know logically the devil loves me staying down and i should get up and walk with the Lord. but in my heart i just cant right now and dont know why. its unlike me. hence this blog.. :)
---anon on 3/12/06

anon, Take charge in the Holy Spirit and Command Satan in the Name of Jesus to get out. Prayer and fasting will help you. I suggest that you go to a Spirit-filled Christian church that believes in the power of the Holy Spirit, and have the Preacher anoint you with oil and the Elders lay hands on you and pray over you along with the church for help. Sometimes the enemy gangs up on us to where we need other Christian warriors to help us overcome.
---Eloy on 3/12/06

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I could ask myself the same question. God gave me free will and I alone chose to use it for the wrong things. Rape wasn't a choice, I know that. Take these bad things in your life, run to God for help and peace, He works. How many people attended a pity party? One. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. This time with God at the steering wheel.
---Nellah on 3/12/06

darlene, i think its the latter. I thought i had gotten over all this years ago and now just recently its all overpowering me. Im usually very positive and definately dont consider myself someone that feels sorry for themselves. I have many great things in my life. And Eloy thats exactly how i feel. Now that im a christian all these feelings are happening suddenly. I feel pathetically worthless and incompetant.
---anon on 3/12/06

the gospel says that thru much tribulation we will go to enter the kingdom of God. Drug addiction was your choice. Rape and beating was not your choice. The other things were not your choice. There are times when we do wrong God chastises us. What you described seems mostly out of your control. We all have free will and sometimes others free will can hurt us. Draw closer to God and no matter what happens in your life continue in prayer. Acts of the apostles C-14 V-22
---Thomas on 3/11/06

bruce, The true Christian is the enemy of Satan, sure he can beat you, rape you, molest you, kill your children, take all your money, afflict you with diseases, and destroy you. Recall what happened to Righteous Job? And if you know my testimony, what has happened to me? Please read Matthew 10:28; John 10:10; Job.
---Eloy on 3/11/06

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Are you saying that the Bible says we will suffer things like rape, beatings, bad car accidents, unemployment etc. BECAUSE we are a Christian?

What scripture are you thinking of when you say "We are told that suffering and persecution will come to every true Christian"? Persecution yes (2 Tim 3:12) but suffering of that nature?
---Bruce5656 on 3/11/06

Self pity is appropriate when you are really hurting. The same sun melts butter and hardens clay. We are told that suffering and persecution will come to every true Christian who lives a godly life in Christ Jesus. The hell or furnace of affliction unleashed upon us can either cause us to get closer to the Lord, or turn us away from the Lord. Let it drive you to your knees in prayer, and draw closer to God, and plead for his unspeakable mercy and help.
---Eloy on 3/11/06

HE never said it would be easy.
HE only said it would be worth it!
---NVBarbara on 3/11/06

Anon,is it self pity,oh poor me type, or is it grieving for what you lost, bad choices , and things suffered evidently most of your life. If you have grief thats ok, let yourself grieve for that hurting child and person in you ,then begin to let yourself heal. Praise God for where you are now and how much you have overcome. Read the Bible every day and have prayer and praise time alone with the Lord. You and Jesus can overcome anything. God inhabits the praise of His people and joy comes with praise.
---Darlene_1 on 3/11/06

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In the past, I have had many over some of the smallest things. And the whole time I was having them, Father let me have them, complete with cake, blow toy, and black party hats. However, there was that still small voice on the inside saying, "Rise up and walk in the newness of life." Today, if you will hear His voice, harden not your heart.
---Paulie on 3/11/06

We were never told there wouldn't be trials. As long as there are people, there will be simply because man has the power of choice. Love never forces control and God is love. I know that it isn't really very hard to have pity parties.
---Paulie on 3/11/06

Bowing the heart to the Lord Jesus is a daily thing. Yes, I understand that a rape is someone controlling another person physically but in the realm of the spirit and soul, that physical control that was exerted can be laid at the feet of the Savior and righteousness, peace, and joy can reign once again in every aspect of your life. I am so sorry that it seems you have had more than your share of suffering and I pray for a release within and through you of the life Jesus came to give.
---Paulie on 3/11/06

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