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Ban My Step Dad

My mom and stepdad seperated 1 month before my wedding. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle and says he still wants too. On the other hand he has been really ugly and mean to me. Calling me at work and all. Would it be wrong to ban him from the wedding?

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 ---drea01 on 3/16/06
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It's YOUR wedding. You can say who you want there or NOT.
---Fred_S. on 2/25/08

I would have thought that you can invite or ban absolutely anyone you want to. It is your wedding not his. You won't be able to prevent him coming to the ceremony itself I don't think, as these are usually open to the public, but if he is not an invited guest he won't be able to attend the reception afterwards and you can exclude him from photographs. You should do what you feel is correct to make the day a happy one for those to whom the day is most important.
---emg on 3/24/07

Do not argue any more with any of them. State that he can treat you with respect or not attend the wedding. Make it his choice. The end. Talk to your mom about this (is he uguly to her now also?) And let other people know you will need support (espi your to-be husband. Walk forward with him and leave these others behind. It isn't just your wedding he is ruining. Pray.
---Alexandra on 4/19/06

Drea As others have said, it is YOUR wedding. However, I would consider asking the local police to be "guests" at your wedding to prevent problems.

If SD is using his daughter to harass you, perhaps disinvite her also. This seems to be a codependent, boundary-busting family that wants you to conform to them, and be miserable. You are in a danger zone, so beware, and act accordingly
---John_T on 3/20/06

Drea, I am sorry all that is happening. It sounds like you are truly going through one fiery trial. However, my answer is still the same. On the other hand, if you truly do not want him to walk you down the aisle, it would be better to tell him "no" than to tell him yes and be angry with him the whole time he is there. Attitude is as important as the action. I pray this be resolved in your own heart and in his.
---Linda on 3/20/06

I have tried making peace and he is hassling and harrassing me at work. He is even having his daughter call and harrass me. After numerous times of telling them to stop I have had enough. I love him but no longer respect him. I even homeschooled for two years when he became deathly ill and couldn't walk to take care of him and teach him to walk again when his own kids bailed and his daughter stole his credit card and maxed it out and drained his bank account. And yet I have never done anything for him.
---drea01 on 3/20/06

Linda: this is a bit of what's happening I couldn't take him to olive garden he got mad he had dish network in my name was told months previously it was going to be cut off in april due to my marriage he wanted me to keep it in my name and transfer to son's house he said if I don't give him my computer that I bought he would sue me over it saying it was his. He took over 6,000 dollars from me and said I will pay it back but is now saying I owe him money and I haven't seen the 6,000 dollars yet.
---drea01 on 3/20/06

You are in a tough spot. On one hand, you desire to have a peaceful wedding. On the other hand, you are a Christian, and scriptures say to love your neighbor. You are going to have to prayerfully seek the Lord in this matter, and ask Him what He desires.
---Madison on 3/17/06

You are a living epistle, known and read of all men. Would would want to be known as one who loves your stepdad only when he is acting really nice or would you rather be known as one who shows unconditional love to him even when he doesn't meet your expectations? Carefully and prayerfully consider the nature of your Heavenly Father, in whom you have been made in the image of, here.
---Linda on 3/17/06

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