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My Husband Smokes Cigs

My husband is a backslider. He drinks beer and smokes cigarettes and it's very hard for me to deal with this. He smokes in front of me and it truly bothers me to the point that I don't want to be around him and I have been praying and asking God to help him stop. What should I do?

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Ask him to PLEASE smoke outside, and to be considerate/drink with his mates elsewhere.Pray that He returns to God. Fasting is often beneficial, for a specific need.I couldnt live with this and I would even ask him to leave until he gets his act together..he is very selfish, and inconsiderate..he needs to return to his first love, but how strong was it then?? I will pray for you..blessings to you..and yours.
---karin on 9/5/06

Sister, does your husband fulfill his marital obligations to you? Is he faithful and loyal and loving? Does he provide your needs?

If so, buy him an ashtray and some coasters.
---Jack on 5/14/06

pt2 With that being said, I don't support smoking, but at the same time I don't condemn a person either. There are more important things to worry about, and that is the lost coming to understand the gospel.
---Jerry on 5/2/06

We all have some kind of sin in our lives, but the goos news is that Christ paid for all those sins, and God no longer holds sin against us. Now we should live our lives to the Glory of God, but it is not a requirement. However smoking does dull the senses, make food less tasteful, clothes stink, as well as ones body, and is harmful to ones lungs.
---Jerry on 5/2/06

PT 2: ...but even the smallest sin will condemn us unless we are born again:
James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

We will not be judged based one what we define as sin. God's standards are high and he is the one that determines sin. Man is to read his Word to determine what God wants us to do to please him.
---chris on 4/18/06

Alexandra, Sins are not all equal:
John 19:11 ...he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin. the deliverer has greater sin than the crucifier
Matt. 23:14; Luke 20:47 both say "shall receive greater damnation." so one is worse than the other
Then there is the worst "Matt. 12:31 ...All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men."
---chris on 4/18/06

A Nephrostomy tube is when a tube is inserted into the kidney for it to drain for various reasons. My reason is I had a kidney stone that was blocking my urine and it just shut down. I have been like this for the past 4 years, and didn't know it until 4 months ago. Since this has happened, my right kidney needs to come out. :( 4% of it is only working while the left kidney is working 96%. Thank you for your concernment.
---Rebecca_D on 4/13/06

Rebecca ... Today is the day you have your naphrostomy tube out (although I have no idea what it is!) and I wish you well. I've always said here that smoking is not s sin, but it is an unfortunate habit, which can cause ill-health, and discomfort to others nearby. I hope you are able to quit.
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/13/06

Well i was siting on the couch one day i hadn't had the Holy Ghost but about a month i was puffing on one of those cancer stick. And the Lord spoke to me auidable his voice was ever so gentle .And he said you are sining against me He new it would take him talking to because i wouldn't listen to any one ele tell me that.and i am so thankfull and i love him so much
---Betty on 4/13/06

I always interpreted it (the scripture) in such a way as to say that if to you it is a sin then to you it is a sin (???) Any way all sins are equal in Gods eye and I sure would hate to belive because I am a sinner that that means I was not/could not be saved! I do so many things wrong everyday. Try as I might....
---Alexandra on 4/12/06

lololol dude are you so blind in your self rightness you cant even see that you continue to eternally judge others by your law and not GODS by questioning their salvation.....lololol use your scripture in the proper context.
---willow on 4/12/06

T.V isn't of God, some say. That is putting earthly things before God. No sin in your thoughts? How many times have you gotten upset because of what someone has said to you on certain blogs? To me Eloy; it seems that your the only one who don't sin, but everyone else around you does. I still struggle with my flesh, we all do. Our flesh is an enemy agaisnt God. Are you not made out of flesh?
---Rebecca_D on 4/12/06

Sorry to hear that Eloy,

1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Luke 18:11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican...
Luke 18:14 ...for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
---chris on 4/12/06

Congratulations Eloy! If this quote from your post (And if everyone could see my thoughts, noone would see any sin.
---Eloy on 4/12/06) is truth, you have reached perfection. Please pray for us who less perfect than you.
---mima on 4/12/06

The bottom line is that preaching sin never delivered anybody. Preach Christ. He is the answer.
---Linda6563 on 4/12/06

I drink coffee and tea, I don't drink any alcoholic beverages and (unfortunately) I smoke 20 cigs a day. I am healthy, everything is normal although doc never checked my brain :))

Smoking is not a sin.
---A_Catholic on 4/12/06

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again willow, for the umpteenth time, SMOKING IS A SIN, because scripture reads, "Therefore to him that knows to do good, and does not, to him it is sin." So this covers everything, abusing drugs and alcohol, smoking, immoral sex, etc.
---Eloy on 4/12/06

chris, I don't drink coffee or caffeine. Occassionally I will drink seltzer water with natural falvoring. I don't own a car. I do watch positive programs on TV. And I eat healthy meat even as Jesus did. And my blood cholesterol is healthy. And if everyone could see my thoughts, noone would see any sin.
---Eloy on 4/12/06

Alan; I am doing fine. I get this (naphrostomy) tube out Thursday. About smoking, if a person puts that before the Lord then it is wrong. Example, I am in church and my mind is upon Christ, but if I think about cigarettes then that is where it is wrong. But for someone to sit and tell me that it is wrong, they are in the wrong for judging and therefore they are not lifting up their brother/sister in Christ, but pushing them down.
---Rebecca_D on 4/11/06

2 Corinthians 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Thats as close as I can get. But it covers a big list of things that we all need to evaluate, I don't judge smokers but I don't justify it.
---Exzucuh on 4/11/06

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again eloy
you can't find it be cause it does not exist as I spoke before I can twist scripture by taking out of context and tell you that God doesnt exist ant tell you to go hang yourself, because its in the bible, any tobacco products are not covered. again I am not saying smoking is good for you, but to question someones salvation because of it is well mans judgement not GODs
---willow on 4/11/06

In the Bible it says that we need to take care of our bodies. Act upon it as if they were temples. I do not believe in smoking and drinking. I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk with him on these issues. Tell him how you feel. Figure out why is smoking and drinking. See if there is a patteren to when he drinks and smokes. If there is a patteren ask him if he wants to stop and then get him out of that pattern. God can help him, but he is going to want to help himself as well.
---carea6568 on 4/11/06

Eloy, do you not drink coffee or soda? Caffeine is a drug. How about driving a car which sends deadly pollutants in the air that others have to breathe? Watch TV (a modern-day river of filth)? Eat meats that can raise cholesterol?

What if ALL your thoughts could be seen by everyone? Would we not see sin?
---chris on 4/11/06

willow, what do you think it means to do the work of an evangelist? and to lead a person to the Lord? "Let him know, that he which converts the sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death, and will cover a multitude of sins. And some have compassion, making a difference: and others save with fear, pulling out of the fire; hating even the garment stained by the flesh." James 5:20; Jude 22,23.
---Eloy on 4/11/06

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Rebecca has picked up on a major inconsistency in Eloy's thinking. Here we have him praying for fellow Christians that they might be free from all bondage etc. yet he has told us numerous times that a Christian does not sin (except for the sin of backsliding - which is not a sin at all because a Christian cannot sin but.. uh.. oh forget it).

Perhaps Eloy's prayer is, in fact, a prayer that we all get saved and thus freed from any and all bondage.
---Bruce5656 on 4/11/06

Rebecca ... how are you?
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/11/06

you cannot free any one of sin you are not Jesus..only he paid the price for all sin and on;y he can deliver oh and by the way read the verses you quoted to me in their proper context. again you still haven't proven where in the bible tobbacco is a sin?
you just like to argue lol but I thank you for you love and your concern.
---willow on 4/11/06

Eloy ... you say to me "And you are wrong a sin is still a sin whether or not you are convicted of it" Please take the trouble to read my post fully. You will see that I said I did NOT go along with Rebecca's theory that a thing is a sin only when you are convicted of it.
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/4/06

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Eloy, You cannot free anyone, only God can do that. And, "Though I speak with the tongus of man and of angels, and have not charity (love), I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal." Two things, you are not always correct, and you are often unkind/unloving in your delivery.
---daphn8897 on 4/4/06

Unforgiveness is also a sin and many here still hold on to that because of hate for someone. That is sin from the heart. One can talk all they want about not sinning but they don't see what is in the heart. Only God see's that. No one is sinless, for all come short of the glory of God, "All".
---karen on 4/3/06

I don't want to gain weight, I just lost 15 lbs. Ha. Eloy; when approached others face to face, do you condemn them to hell like you have done some of us here? I thought that a person of God can't sin, so how can one repent if they don't sin. If I believe the way you do about a person can't sin, then my smoking isn't a sin, because Christ abides in me and I in him. right? 1 Jn 3:9.
---Rebecca_D on 4/2/06

Addiction disease is very difficult to fight. The medical world says it is incurable but God will help those who ask Him directly. If your husband tries tackling one addiction at a time he might have better success. It's working for me, and God is pleased so far. I suggest you look at NA and AA for guidance, they are both spiritually based.
---George on 4/2/06

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Rebecca ... I will be prayiing for you during your operation, and your recuperation, also that God will give you strength to quit smoking.
You will probably be given a diet, but in any case you will need to avoid "comfort snacking" which many do instead of smoking, and so put on weight.
God bless you
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/2/06

The Lord is always at work conforming me more to His image. But He doesn't seem to work on everything at once. Some things I'm sure, attitudes of the heart perhaps, are more dangerous than smoking. I was less than willing to give up my 20 yr. physical addiction to nicotine. My past efforts had all failed. I told the Lord that if HE wanted me to quit, HE would have to do most of the work. Much to my amazement He did! It wasn't instant deliverance, but it was a lot easier than I imagined. There is hope!
---Donna2277 on 4/2/06

Smoking is an evil deed from the devil it does proceed
it stains your teeth and soils your clothes
and makes a smokestack of your nose. told to me by my greatgrandmother Cora McGinty as told to her by her mother. exzucuh
---Exzucuh on 4/2/06

alan, I already quoted in the Bible that smoking is a sin. BTW, when I post and reply here I minister the word, and when I take a walk outside I do not minister the word unless I meet someone along the way. And you are wrong a sin is still a sin whether or not you are convicted of it. Many sin everyday and feel no conscience about it, but their sin still remains sin whether or not they repent from it.
---Eloy on 4/2/06

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I don't know if you can smoke and get to Heaven but you will sure find out a lot quicker than if you don't smoke.
---John on 4/2/06

Madison, Thomas, I never claimed that quitting smoking would be easy. I am simply saying that people who really want to do something find a way to do it. Suppose members of your family had been kidnapped and the only way they would be released is if you stopped smoking. I bet you could quit immediately, addiction notwithstanding. Yes, an unlikely scenario, but it makes the point that motivation can outweigh desire. Whether you think you can or you can't, you are right.
---ralph7477 on 4/2/06

Eloy ...# 2 Having said that, I don't go along wwith Rebecca's idea that something only becomes sinful once you are individually "convicted" about it.
I think it is a very bad habit, and I join in your prayer that Willow, Rebecca and others be freed from it.
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/2/06

Eloy ... # 1 Is sitting by my computer on a beautiful sunny afternoon, instead of walking healthily in the freshair, a sin? No, I am not mocking you, but the Bible does not say smoking is a sin, any more than it says alcohol is a sin, and I do not think that smoking prejudices one's salvation
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/2/06

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Well I will be quitting real soon. (Not because I was convicted) because I will be in the hosptial for at least 4-6 days when I have my surgery done. It will be so stupid for me to go a week without ciggys and start back up agian. Now, I need to work on my Mt. Dew, I drink the green bottle and the Code Red. The worse soda there is and I drink it. Ya know maybe that is why I need my kidney removed ya think?
---Rebecca_D on 4/2/06

willow, I free people from bondages. Today is the day of salvation, not tomorrow. Choose to be clean, pure and holy, and free from smoking today, right now. Be like Christ right now, he wants you to be set free from all bondage and to have a clean and healthy life, a true reflection of his glory, a child worthy of his name. In Jesus is my prayer for you, you and Rebecca, and all who name the name of Christ, to depart from all wrong and to cleave to Christ and his goodness. Amen.
---Eloy on 4/2/06

translated means you cant find it in GODs word. that is ok, Iunderstand what you are saying,and please understand what I am saying. when your personal convictions try to override others free will who do not have the same convictions you may place them in to your bondage.
I am not as of yet convicted about quitting but I am and have been convicted about many other issues and when those come up by GODs grace I overcome them..and when it is GODs time to Quit I will to HIS glory.
---willow on 4/1/06

Ralph: Quitting a chemical addiction, like nicotine, is not easy for anyone. There is a lot of trial and error for most people I know who quit smoking. You make is sound easy. I have never smoked, but I have quit other addictions and know how hard it is. Nicotine is the hardest to quit.

It amazes me that people here are so judgmental and arrogant in their righteousness.
---Madison on 4/1/06

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I have a simular situation, I encourage you to keep praying for him that God will intrevene and he would make the decision to quit. I have found that when I constantly reminded and even threatened to not be there for him it did no good. There is a good book that i have found that helped me it's by stormie o' martin "the power of a praying wife" may God continue to be with you, and i encourage you to keep pressing in
---Andrea on 4/1/06

Ralph, You talk of motivation, are you speaking from experience, if not you have no idea of what it takes to stop smoking.
---thomas on 4/1/06

rebecca, We each must choose the path to follow. I am on the strait and narrow path that leads to glory, eternal life, and untold blessings along the way. My part is to obey, and in doing so I am righteous, even as Christ is righteous. Christ does not smoke. This is not self-righteousness, but I am made the righteousness of Christ. The servant is rewarded for his labors accordingly, in this life and in the life to come. Quit smoking, be healthy, and live like Christ.
---Eloy on 4/1/06

rebecca, "Know you all not, that to whom you all yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants you all are to whom you all obey; whether of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness? For we must all appear before the judgment throne of Christ; that every one may receive the things in body, according to that he has done, whether good or bad."
---Eloy on 4/1/06

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The general sentiment coming across from those who smoke is that they know they should probably quit but haven't been "convicted yet". It's as if we are on borrowed time until God catches up with us. The fact is that anybody could stop smoking tomorrow if they genuinely wanted to, regardless of the addiction. It's all a matter of motivation. If the motivation to quit outweighs the desire to continue anybody could quit immediately.
---ralph7477 on 4/1/06

willow, I already have, but you are not accepting it. "Therefore to him that knows to do good, and does not, to him it is sin." James 4:17. That means smoking, getting drunk, abusing drugs, hurting damaging your body, and doing things that are well-known and proven to be bad.
---Eloy on 4/1/06

Ya know Eloy, I honestly don't care what you think. You can try your level best to condemn me over smoking. You won't change me nor can you. And by the way your not helping the matter with your self-righteous attitude. You speak on what you beleive. Just because others don't believe the way you do, you act like Little Johnny, taking his marbles and going home. Matthew 15:11-20.
---Rebecca_D on 3/31/06

I know the context of the verse I used. do you understand the context of what you gave me.any one can twist the bible to make the WORD say what they use the WORD in context don't pick and choose to prove your point and please show me where tobacco is forbidden. I again await you response
---willow on 3/31/06

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Also, Remember, there are many dear wonderful saints who've gone before us that did not know the ill effects of smoking - C.H. Spurgeon and D.L. Moody, just to name a couple. It is only over the past 40 or so years that the health issues have been revealed.
---daphn8897 on 3/31/06

Smoking won't send you to hell. However, it will make you smell like you've been there.. ;o)

Sabrina, Keep praying for him. The smoking and drinking are only a sympton of a far deeper heart issue. Look past your likes and dislikes and look to his heart's needs. Be respectful whether or not his actions deserve it, for you will win him by yours.
---daphn8897 on 3/31/06

rebecca and Fred, you are deceived. I have every right to speak the truth, and I am commanded with a holy junction to do so, thus I will obey God rather than man. God looks at the whole person. "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and your whole spirit and soul AND BODY be preserved blameless up to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Matthew 10:30; I Thessalonians 5:23.
---Eloy on 3/31/06

Jesus looks at one's heart. Not one's lungs!
---Fred_S. on 3/31/06

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Eloy; yes a person can have Jesus and smoke at the same time. I do. You have no right saying that. For you are no better than me just because you don't smoke. I know you have some other form of habit. I know you're not perfect, I know your flesh still sins. Like the bible says There is not a just man who doeth good and sinneth not. I am not self-righteous like yourself. You seem to condemn everyone around you, so you look better. But in who's eyes? Not mine and I know not in God's eyes.
---Rebecca_D on 3/31/06

fred, you condemn yourself by your own choosing. Who will you serve? you cannot have Jesus and smoking. There is no smoking in heaven.
---Eloy on 3/31/06

Eloy; I don't know what bible you read but mine reads, in Ecc 7:20, For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not. KJV. Heb 4:15 says that Jesus had all the temptations as we do, but yet he is without sin. The thing of it is Lupe; I have nothing to hide. I don't care what people thinks, whatever I do is between me and God and no one else.
---Rebecca_D on 3/30/06

It is a chemical addiction, period. It is the most difficult drug to kick. People kick alcohol, weed, coke, meth, heroin, etc. and still smoke though they want to quit. Just one of the more obvious "immoral sins". So shall we throw stones at fat people who are overweight due to a food addiction? Bulimics? RX druggies? Workaholics? Churchaholics? Live in the city? Are you sinning everytime you step outside and breath the outdoor air? Love your replies Fred S..........OK, God bless ya.
---sherry_g on 3/30/06

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3. But if they search their hearts they will find more filth in it then they realize. Pride, arrogance, envy, and more. Yet, it isn't like we are shocking Christ, He knew us before we were born, and knows the day he will take us. After all, He is Sovereign and Omnipotent. I pray that you will give that up and later other things, and please pray for me too, so that God can take things in me that should not be there.
---Lupe2618 on 3/30/06

2. They think they can hide from God but they don't. There is no one perfect. That is a myth taught by many. We are all under a sanctification stage. Some futher then others. We all have a personal relationship with Christ. We all have many things God has to clean in ourselves. The time will come when you will know its time to give it up. It might come and it might not. It does not change your state with Christ. He knows the weaknesses of each one of us. I hear so many condemn others,
---Lupe2618 on 3/30/06

To Rebeca and Willow, I am with Madison, John T. and Fred on his remarks. I was a smoker once and know very well what smokers go through. You have come forward and admitted your habit and so has Willow. that is more then others are willing to do with their problems. Some hide what they do in their homes and show to others only the outside of themselves. But as has been said before, just about anything too much is bad for you. Eating too much, caffine, etc. but what is worse is what is hidden in the heart.
---Lupe2618 on 3/30/06

Willow, thank you. I understand what you mean about it being the last of the old nature. My sister-in-law smoked for years after her salvation, and nobody condemned her. My brother still occassionally chews tobacco, disgusting as that is, and he is saved. The Holy Spirit works on each of us in a unique way, and it is a shame that so many here think they should do His job.
---Madison on 3/30/06

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Ralph, not one posting here says that smoking is "fine and dandy." Why are you putting words into peoples' mouth?

Smoking is a disgusting habit and is certainly bad for you, however, I don't see it as a sin.

Sabrina, is your husband a "backslider" because he smokes and "drinks beer"? I don't see drinking beer as a sin either.

I do agree, however, that she shouldn't smoke in front of you if it bothers you.
---NurseRobert on 3/30/06

Wow, this is one subject that brings out all the condeming, judgemental people. I didn't know that there were so many purified PERFECT people in the world that have never overendulged at the buffet, or never had caffine, or artificial flavoring or coloring and never had a Big Mac. Some of you cross the boundries of "free-will", and try to force YOUR OWN opinions on others. Just tell us you will pray for our deliverence. It's that simple!
---Fred_S. on 3/30/06

It is the Holy Spirit that convicts, that works in us to will and to do according to His good pleasure. When saved, God works in us as individuals, Knowing us best. I know He instantly delivered me of certain things, while other things took, and are taking more time. We are works in progress. Who are we to condemn and therefore question how God is working?
---christina on 3/30/06

Since smoking is fine and dandy, would you smokers let your children smoke if they wanted to? If not, why?
---ralph7477 on 3/30/06

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willow, Jesus said eating with unwashen hands will not defile the body, but speaking unclean words will. Smoking is proven not good for the body, it is unhealthy and causes sicknesses and premature death. There is a difference between good and bad, between the unclean and the clean. "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Woe to them that call bad good, and good bad; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter. Hosea 4:6; Isaiah 5:20.
---Eloy on 3/30/06

rebecca, That is a mistranslation. Correctly Ecclesiastes 7:20 is, "For there is not a righteous human on the earth who does good and does not offend." The righteous are an offense to the wicked. And the good tree cannot bear bad fruit, for whoever stays in Christ sins not. "Little children, let no man deceive you: he that does righteousness is righteous, even as Christ is righteous." I John 3:7. But rebecca, you're free to believe whatever you desire.
---Eloy on 3/30/06

I smoked cigs years after I accepted Christ but eventually surrendered to His will and stopped. I still ocassionally drink a little wine and sometimes even whiskey but really do not have an addiction to either. In fact, a drink every once in a while is actually healthful. Cigs on the other hand, are nothing but harmful.
---lee on 3/29/06

I don't and have never said that smoking is good for you,and you bring up a great point. smoking is the last of my old life and I know when GOD says it is time for me to quit I will no questions asked. personally I am not as yet convicted to quit,and when I do it will Glorify GOD.
GOD bless you sis.
---willow on 3/29/06

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willow: I am totally for freedom in Christ, and Christian liberty for smokers. Don't misunderstand me. I just wonder about the addiction to nicotine being a bondage. I have alcohol addiction and an eating disorder, so I understand the bondage to chemicals and food. I know that I was miserable when I was in bondage, and am just curious if that is the same for Christians who smoke.
---Madison on 3/29/06

Matthew 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. Jesus laid down his life for us. he expects us to lay down things for him.He that is of the old man will not take up his cross, a born again new creation lives by the power of the cross. If you do not know what I'm talking about, you need to be born again. exzucuh
---exzucuh on 3/29/06

I hoped you would not go with the old "temple bit" my response is matthew 15:11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. now my friend please show me in GODS word where we are forbidden to use any tobacco.the word covers everything else drinking, eating love of money...I await your response
---willow on 3/29/06

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