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Toothpaste Squeezing Problems

I have a problem. My wife squeezes the toothpaste on the top and she won't listen to me and squeeze it from the bottom up. Can I divorce her? :))

Moderator - Solution, both have your own toothpaste and enjoy the toothpasting squeezing.

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 ---A_Catholic on 4/6/06
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Do you leave the toilet seat up...???
---Fred_S. on 5/4/07

After extensive consultations with various psychologists, my wife and I have decided to buy two separate toothpastes: mine is MacLeans and hers is Pepsodent.

We withdrew our threat to divorce each other :))
---A_Catholic on 5/9/06

I am wondering why this type of problem still exist with you and with your wife. The tootpaste containers we have now are no longer the type that will not spring back to shape after being squeezed. Technology has already offered solution to this type of problem so that husband and wife who got different point of or preferences on how to squeeze the toothpaste won't have problems. What country are you from?
---Bebet3754 on 5/9/06

The original meaning of "toilet" is what one does to get dressed and ready to face the world. Hence, "toilet water" as a pleasantly scented liquid.

"Toilet" for what is also called a commode or privy is clearly a euphemism.
---Jack on 5/8/06

Hey I don't mind the toilet seat up thing concerning my tooth brush. I have found that when the spray hits my brush the kids refuse to use it on the dogs teeth like they used to.
And why did women use toilet water for perfume years ago? What do you think they smelled like before using it?
Cond #2
---Elder on 4/11/06

Cond #2
And why does a dog drink outta the toilet bowl and then lick your face? Is he doing a compairson taste? If he licks your face first then you got problems.
Ya Ann I was talking to my self again but the coffee had nothin' to do wit' it cause after drinking it I can't talk for a while.
(Now Barbara will wanta buy me a cup.)
---Elder on 4/11/06

Yuk A C! We keep our toothbrushes, AND toothpaste in seperate containers in a closed medicine cabinet in the bathroom.
Actually we use seperate bathrooms, so its not a big problem.
---NVBarbara on 4/10/06

nvB We have dilemma here!!
We have my scientific proof that the paper should hang down the back, and since science is always wrong, that means it should hang down the front.
And yet we have hotels hanging it down the front, and my gut instinct says hotels and corporations are always wrong, so it should hang down the back.
But maybe, the paper in hotels always hangs down the front because guests have changed it round?
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/10/06

Elder, you agree with your own answer? Did we have a bit too much coffee this morning, and now your brain's gone numb?
---Ann5758 on 4/10/06

Elder I agree with your answer to this problem of toothpaste. God is teaching the wife patience because sooner or later the husband will have to squeeze the tube from the bottom. I subscribe to the two tube theory.
Bring back the outhouse named John and that will solve the other problems. Leave the lid up they fall in and are never heard from again and there is no worry about the toilet paper cause it is all newspaper and has to be unfolded not unrolled. Whoops, got me talkin' to myself.
---Elder on 4/10/06

Yes, thank you Barb and Madison. The seat and lid should always be down when the toilet is not in use. Now if only spouses and children could be convinced to at least make an effort to close the bathroom door when they are using it, the world would be a much more civilized place.
---ralph7477 on 4/9/06

I've read about the bacteria thingy, Madison. It flies to about 6 ft from the toilet. Our brushes have a cap on them plus they are more than 6feet away from the toilet. We also tend to close the lid when flushing - of course, my wife forgets to quite often :))
---A_Catholic on 4/9/06

There have been scientific studies done on the bacteria found in toothbrushes in the bathroom when the toilet if flushed with the lid up. Germs do fly into the air and can land on the toothbrush. Who wants to brush their teeth with toilet bowl water?
---Madison on 4/8/06

You're right Ann! Just one of the reasons his name was changed from "Scout" many years ago!
GREAT suspicion Alan! TP should hang over the FRONT of the roll. Its easier to get to than trying to reach behind it!
All very nice hotels I have stayed always have it coming from the front, should I tell them they are wrong? :)
---NVBarbara on 4/8/06

I trained my wife!
She used to turn off the shower by using only the hot cold spigots. Whenever I started to shower at 6AM I got a blast of COLD water. Woke me up in a hurry!

To train her properly, I did the same for her, but angled the showerhead so that her whole body got the full effect. She learns hard; it took her 3 times to learn!
---John_T on 4/8/06

Alan, we install the TP with the paper hanging from the top out to front. On that my wife and I agree. But then we have the remote control issue - I tell her that belongs to me but she disagrees!!!!
---A_Catholic on 4/8/06

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I am surprised no-one has taken up the all-important issue mentioned by Lissa about the way toilet rolls should be installed. There is scientific proof that they should be put on the holder with the paper hanging down against the wall. But the fact that is has scientific support means that it is to be treated with grave suspicion.
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/8/06

What else would you expect from a cat named Knothead..??
---ann5758 on 4/8/06

"It is the pillow" I said. "No, it isn't," replied my co-worker. "Yes, every time my husband goes to bed before me he takes my pillow to fall asleep on! I just keep it in the closet now, intil I go to bed!" "Right so it is not the pillow." "Yes, it is, it is the pillow! I just want him to lisen to me and he is not!" Me=shocked face, co-worker=head down. "Right", I say, "it is not the pillow". (hummmm.....)
---Alexandra on 4/8/06

I will my dearest t3 - I'll squeeze it in your mouth when you're asleep.

Notwithstanding and notwithsitting this serious problem, I still love you dearly!!!
---A_Catholic on 4/8/06

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If the toilet seat lid is up when I flush, I feel like millions of germs are being spewed into the air to land on places like my toothbrush. Ewwwwwe! That's just gross!

Ann, I have four sons that do that sort of thing all the time. My personal favorite is when they leave half a cup of milk in the jug and shove it to the back of the fridge so they can get at the new jug. Then I think there's another whole jug of milk back there until I pull it out to find it's almost empty. (Ugggh!)
---DoryLory on 4/8/06

The only thing that I could think of that my husband does is speed in our car. He is used to going fast being a Police Officer/Firefighter, he is used to it. When we go out, I would have to tell him, slow down, he's not going to a fire or chasing someone. Lord sometimes I feel like I'm on the COPS show. Hee,hee, but he is good at what he does.
---Rebecca_D on 4/8/06

The best thing to do would be to lay the tube in the floor and stomp it. That way it will be squeezed from the top and bottom at the same time.
You wife will then knock your teeth out and you can clean them in a jar.
You can only open jars from the top so you should be happy.
This will also stop any divorce 'cause who's gonna want you with a bald headed mouth of no teeth..... you ain't in West Va.
Huh... and I ain't getting paid for this. Eat your heart out Dr. Phil.
---Elder on 4/8/06

New Commandment :"Thou shalt squeeze the tooth paste for her."
---T3 on 4/8/06

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I solved that problem when I bought Mentadent toothpaste. It stands up and you push it down to get the toothpaste to come out. It is not a tube. Check it out.
---Madison on 4/8/06

I always put the seat AND the lid down.
That was after I found that the cat thought it was an extra water bowl!
---NVBarbara on 4/7/06

How's about leaving about 3 sheets on the tp roll, then opening a brand new roll, yet never finishing the old one? Something about men not wanting to use the whole roll? My son is like that (as I have no hubby that I know of to complain about)..
---Ann5758 on 4/7/06

My problem is exactly the oppposite. My hubby is the one who squeezes the toothpaste from the top. It drives me bananas. It makes the tube look so untidy!
I do think divorce is on the menu!!!! Haha
---Margaretj on 4/7/06

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Make sure you call collect A C!
---NVBarbara on 4/7/06

I never understood the whole toilet seat thing. I've seen women sit down out in public as well as at home and they always look behind them to make sure there is a seat, chair, bench, etc. Seems simple to do. I think it's really just a control issue. Women sometimes like to brag how they have "trained" their husbands. Ugh.
---ralph7477 on 4/7/06

Barbara, I'm sure that a wet fanny in the middle of the night is quite the eyeopener! Gonna play the bad guy on this one. Why is it the responsibility for the man to put the seat down, but NOT the womans responsibity of the woamn to put the seat up?

Ok, I know I'm not going to win this one today. My contentious spirit is striving within me today...

I will try to be good. ;)
---NurseRobert on 4/7/06

glrs, excellent suggestion. Would you have heaven's phone number please?
---A_Catholic on 4/7/06

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Call your mother-in-law and inform her that you are sending her daughter back for a refresher course of squeezing toothpaste! :)
---glrs on 4/7/06

Roberto Nightengale, as a woman who occasionally gets up in the middle of the night to dash to the loo-what a wet shocking surprise it is if the seat is up! I guess I need need more than the night light on when I rush in there! OR, Steve could put the seat down after use!
A C, carry your own toothpaste in your pocket!
Maybe she won't help YOU with the dishes tonight!
---NV_Barbara on 4/6/06

the world has come to an end!!!! Toothpaste tubes squeeed from the top!!

and whats wrong with leaving the toilet seat up?
---NurseRobert on 4/6/06

You can buy a toothpaste squeezer. It is a small plastic thing that goes on the bottom of the tube, you push it up gradually as you use the paste. It is neat, and waste almost no paste. Ask a Wal-Mart person what isle to find it in. Now if all marriage problems were that easy, maybe I could have saved mine.
---Ulrika on 4/6/06

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Just maybe, she wants to divorce YOU because you squeeze from the bottom and not the top!
I'll try to find scripture on this!
I think she should dump your sorry rear! :)
---NVBarbara on 4/6/06

Mima, we do squeeze each other. I just found out that t3 IS THE CULPRIT - Yes, my wife saw my complaint and she replied below. Hmmmm... I won't help her with the dishes tonight!!!
---A_Catholic on 4/6/06

You should have put this on the Humor blog!
---NVBarbara on 4/6/06

But Moderator, I bought her a separate tube but guess what? She's using mine also. I may bite her fingers next time she uses my Macleans tube.

Moderator - LOL
---A_Catholic on 4/6/06

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Yes Mod, I knew that, I thought it was a stupid question, so I gave a stupid answer.
---Rebecca_D on 4/6/06

To alleviate this problem completely. You can decide to squeeze each other and the toothpaste problem will vanish in the squeezing.
---mima on 4/6/06

Ha Ha! My hubby replaces the toilet paper the wrong way. I can't wait to read other responses to this hilarious question, but sadly, people do divorce over such petty things.
---Lissa on 4/6/06

I have seen couples fight over how their clothes were hanging in the closet. No it wasn't me, but someone close to me. You don't stay married for 48 years if you fight over petty things.
---shira on 4/6/06

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Shira, it would cost me about $1200.00 to fly to WalMart. I somehow have to find a solution to my problem!!!!
---A_Catholic on 4/6/06

I think A_Catholic has nothing better to say.
---T3 on 4/6/06

Fred, she chained the toilet seat down and locked it with padlocks. Rebecca, I think I'm going to take your advice :))
---A_Catholic on 4/6/06

go to wal mart and buy a little plastic thingy that squeezes toothpaste for you and it won't allow you to squeeze from the top. it is less than $2.00
---shira on 4/6/06

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Yeah, go ahead. alot of people are getting divorced by petty things, why shouldn't you and your wife be different.

Moderator - A_Catholic is cracking a joke.
---Rebecca_D on 4/6/06

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