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How To Talk To Women

I am too nervous to talk to women. How do I do that?

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 ---mike on 4/7/06
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But, you see, how to talk and act around women is a cultural experience. Lets say that the woman was the middle of a passel of brothers. She would expect men to behave more realistically than would a girl who was the middle sister of a passel of sisters. There are stereotypical male behavior pattern, and stereotypical female behavior patterns, and it all depends on who shows up at the party, with what expectations. Like I started with, intermingling of the sexes is a cultural experience.
---harold on 6/28/07

I am a woman. You don't have to be nervous if you understand that a woman truly just wants a man who can be kind and sincere with her. When you first meet a woman, don't put pressure on either yourself or on her by trying to think of what to say to impress her in case a relationship comes out of it. Let nature take its course. Most women aren't interested in a man trying to be something they're not. Most women are just wanting to meet a kind, decent, good, honest man. God Bless.
---vea4696 on 6/28/07


You need to overcome your nervousness if you want to meet the kind of girl you would want to marry. If you need women to approach you, then you are severely limiting yourself--from the best ones.
Take three deep breaths. Then say hello. Find a common interest. Accept rejection. Rejection happens. Now try again.

---Reiter on 11/14/06

Ralph, Couple of things... I agree that folks on dates usually try to put their best foot forward and, unfortunately, often aren't honest. I guess that's where prayer and pre-marital counseling come in. And, as far as I'm concerned, a man with good manners who is thoughtful is rare and a treasure. I'm fortunate to see marvelous godly examples in my church, but I've been in many where that's not the case. And, yes, it certainly is a 2-way street.
---daphn8897 on 4/11/06

"Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." I Timothy 5

And have fun!
---Connie on 4/11/06

Wow!! There's lots of good advice here for you, Mike. I just wanted to add some points from a recent Dear Abby column.

- When people show a sincere interest in the interests of others, it makes them more attractive to be around.
- It's okay to not know everything. In fact, others may feel they have more to contribute, if you don't.
- Most important of all .. relax and be yourself. This isn't an Academy Award performance. Don't try too hard.
---DoryLory on 4/10/06

#2-- If you are nervous, prepare mentally ahead of time with some things to talk about.. Perhaps some news items from the past week. Ask what she thinks about them. Ask about her family and where she grew up. Find out about her job, school, church etc. Conversation is like serve..she returns the return it etc. Avoid YES or NO questions so she has something to return.. Concentrate on putting HER at ease. It'll help you relax and she'll think you're a great conversationalist.
---Donna2277 on 4/10/06

#1-I remember a blind date with a fellow who took me out to dinner. The dinner was nice,he was nice looking, but his passion was golf and he talked of nothing else. I listened patiently for a while, but told him I knew nothing about golf and tried unsuccessfully all evening to steer to a subject we could BOTH discuss. He really HAD no other interests! And I didn't need to be a rocket scientist to see that he wasn't interested in me either.
---Donna2277 on 4/10/06

Hi again Daphne. I happen to agree with what you stated. But unexperienced guys like Mike have to realize that it's a two way street. Two people just getting to know each other often say things that they think the other person wants to hear, whether truthful or not. That is why listening is very important. BTW, speaking from experience, being a gentleman and thoughtful doesn't amount to a hill of beans in the long run.
---ralph7477 on 4/10/06

Ralph, It is not so unknown as you think. NT scripture tells the husband to love and care for his wife as he would his own flesh. So, if a man really takes that to heart, things aren't so "unknown." Scripture also tell the husband to know his wife - that doesn't only refer to sexually, but knowing her strengths and weaknesses as well. How else can he be to her as Christ is to the church?
---daphn8897 on 4/10/06

Hi Mike, Couple things... God has not given us a spirit of fear... Also, in the NT, scripture says that if a woman is not your wife, you are to treat her as a sister. Perhaps that can help - how would you talk to your sister? If you start there, and build a relationship on that level first, then there's no defrauding or temptation to sexual immorality. And, Mike, being a gentleman and being thoughtful goes a long way in any relationship.
---daphn8897 on 4/10/06

You are right to feel nervous. You are entering a world of the unknown and unexpected. It doesn't really matter what you say. What matters is what is said to you so listen very carefully and follow your instincts.
---ralph7477 on 4/8/06

Be yourself at all times. Be respectful, be relaxed. She may be as nervous as you are. A good woman likes to be treated with dignity.
---A_Catholic on 4/8/06

Ask her is there is anything you can do for her. Women like to see men work and go out of their way for them. It will make her like you alot.
---Kathleen on 4/8/06

It is difficult for some women too, just depends on the individual. I understand how you feel. Writing answers to blogs, for example is much easier than speaking face to face with opposite sex. Pray about it. Phil. 4:13
---Ulrika on 4/8/06

Mike, be yourself. Relax and just talk to her, look interested in what she has to say, and don't worry about the odd silence - expect her to do some work too! Being confident and a little cheeky helps though as well as making them laugh!! Just relax and have fun.
---glrs on 4/8/06

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First try lisening(It doesn't have to necessarily be what they are saying to you). Lisen for common topics(religion, work, music,movies...). Lisen at thier opinions, feeling...then simpily responding with your opinions, thoughts ect. to thier opinions ect. I took your question to mean communicating, is that right???
---Alexandra on 4/7/06

Start by just saying 'hi'. It's as good a start as any. Be yourself,and just relax. Ladies don't bite. Don't talk about yourself all the time- show the lady that you're interested in what she has to say. Ask her questions, and pay attention to what she says. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her, and smile. You'll do just fine.
---Ann5758 on 4/7/06

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