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Can Christian Women Have A Mind

My husband feels that I am not submissive because I voice my feelings and want to have a say in things. Am I wrong to be a Christian and have a mind of my own. Please explain the submissive versus subservient in a married relationship.

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 ---Questioning_Wife on 5/8/06
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being submissive means to respect the fact that you are the weaker vessel.when you get married you become as one,which means you band do your part by taking care of your family work or whatever your role is but it is to be done together.respect him as the head,but it doesnt mean that you have no say no opinions or ideas.he is to uphold you lift you up when you are down and vice versa.
---jesuschild379 on 5/7/07

Dear Friend,
You have gotten caught up in a demonic relationship with your spouse. Your spouse is suppose to be the head of the household but He is to treat you according to the Word of God. If He is doing anything less, he is out of order and in error. He will have to answer to God, for that. A lot of men use a few scriptures to control their wives and make them feel less than human. Yes---you do have a voice and you are entitled to your feelings. You are both acccountable to each other and to God.
---Robyn on 5/7/07

God gave both men and women good minds to think and reason with. A woman is to be in subjection to her husband, but she is also a help mate. A husband should seek his wife's advise or opinion because she too can talk with God and have His wisdom. The final decision on any matter has to be his because he is the one who will answer to God for it.
---Debbie on 5/7/07

Kathr, praise God! I love to hear testimonies of people salvation.
---Christina on 10/2/06

Madison: Are they Catholic? If yes, I can understand then about the assurance thing. My brother in law was Catholic until he met my sister. He heard the Gospel for the first time from her pastor who wouldn't marry them. Not only did he get saved, but was angry for a long time that the Catholic Chruch NEVER presented the Gospel. He's an awesome witness for the Gospel, salvation and assurance.
---kathr4453 on 10/2/06

Kathr: Mom has no interest in attending Bible studies. It was never something she did, or cared to do. She does not attend church much since the Catholic church had the priest scandals. Her boyfriend attends church regularly, but he does not have assurance of salvation either.
---Madison1101 on 10/1/06

Madison: What's horrible is most elderly people rely on the TV for church.Not many good ones. And then again, very few preaching the Gospel in the Church. It's a wonder anyone grows! Maybe you could find her a lady's bible study group close to her. Check out what their teaching though. If it's hard for her to read, maybe the Bible on tape? Or find a good Bible teacher and see if they have anything on CD. I'll pray for her.
I lost one of my brothers a year ago. Not sure he was saved. That hurts!
---kathr4453 on 10/1/06

we women are not to be treated as slaves as some men today seem to think. Col3:18 Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands,(this simply means wives listen to your husband and not someone else) as it is fit in the Lord.V18 Husbands, LOVE YOUR WIVES AND NOT BE BITTER AGAINST THEM. It never said beat them up if you see fit. Men who beat their wives has God to answer to on that day. I abore men who physically abuse women, they infact are abusing the Temple of the Holy Spirit.
---jana on 9/30/06

Kathr: My father died in 1977, a couple years after I was saved. As far as I know, he never made a profession of faith. My mother prayed the sinners prayer, but does not have assurance, nor is she fed and growing in the Lord. She lives two hours from me. I keep praying, as she just turned 80 years old a few weeks ago.
---Madison1101 on 9/30/06

Madison: I've read of your posts, and you are a strong Christian. I'm sure your life experiences have made you grow even stronger in the Lord. Considered it a blessing.
I believe,even if we don't feel respect, we need to have it and give it regardless of whether it is deserved. Through love and respect, men can be won to the Lord. Is your Father saved? Your Mother?
And Yes, All daughters should be able to take care of themselves. We don't get traded for 2 donkey's and a horse anymore!!! Here anyway!
---kathr4453 on 9/30/06

Kathr: My father was a violent drunk. He tried to kill my mother on more than one occassion. I lived in terror most of my life. He would fall asleep drunk with a cigarette in his hand and set fire to the furniture on more than one occassion. I would wake up to smashing dishes and windows throughout my childhood. My mom had to survive all that because she had no job and skills to support herself and her kids. I raised my daughter to be able to support herself should it become necessary.
---Madison1101 on 9/28/06

Louise has a good point, when she speaks of allowing her submissiveness to lead her into sin. I did the same. I submitted to the point of going against God's way. I believe there is to be an attitude of submissiveness, but there are situations when a husband may be wrong and we need to obey God.
---Christina on 9/28/06

steve, Why would a woman grow up to disrespect their father? Remember the father has a roll in this too. Respect is also something that is earned by a godly life.
How many daughters witnessed a drunk father coming home beating her mother and brothers and sisters?
Do think she may have a respect problem? I would. You'd be surprised how much this goes on in homes.
---kathr4453 on 9/28/06

God says."let us reason together?"
The Lord lets me express my feelings.I can tell Him anything.Sometimes I even get mad, and He lets me. He just waits until I get it out of my system.That's because He Loves me.He made me to enjoy His company, and has ensured that I enjoy His. We have an awesome relationship. Why? Because He lets me express myself. I always see it His way in the end, not because He's forced His will on me, or told me to be quiet and do what I say. It's not like that at all.
---kathr4453 on 9/27/06

, women who grow up disrespecting their fathers usually grow up to be disrespectful to their husbands and to god.
---steve on 9/27/06

submissive and subservient are the same thing. The man was not made for the woman, but the woman being the weaker vessel, was made to be a helper-mate for the man. The man is the head of the wife, just as Christ is head of the church, and it would be wrong for the church to disregard Christ and his words in order to do their own will. But the relationship is an interactive one, with the understanding that the man has the final say, just as Christ has the final authority over the church.
---Eloy on 9/27/06

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Colossians 3
submit - (Greek)
From G5259 and G5021; to subordinate; reflexively to obey: - be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.
---mike on 9/27/06

dear questioning,marriage is a parternship,not a dictatorship.if your husband is a christian, it is his responsibility to make decisions based on the word, and to love you as christ loves the church.personally the word submit should never be used between a husband and wife in my opinion. it should be a natural way of thinking for women, but men must be in submission first to God, and realize that their wives aren,t children, they are equal partners.
---tom2 on 9/27/06

God didnt create women to be servants or slaves to men. We do have the right to speak up otherwise he would not know what you want etc. God also meant for us to love one another and as He said, we are the help meet. To you guys who think differently otherwise, you need to understand what God said. remember, He said husbands, love your wives, just as I have loved the church. He didnt say your wives are your slaves.
---jana on 9/27/06

You are not wrong in sharing your opinions, and voicing your feelings. However, check the manner in which you are doing this. Are you being stubborn, willful, obstinant, nagging, selfish, mean, sarcastic, demeaning, rude, controlling, or any other negative form of communication? It's important for all of us, male and female, to seek the mind of Christ, and act in love towards one another. Examine your own heart and ask God to help you in your weaknesses, and pray God will do the same for your husband.
---Kate on 9/26/06

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God has given all of us a mind of our own to think with and make decisions with.
---Helen_5378 on 9/25/06

i ended up on this by divine design. i followed my "submissiveness" all the way into sin. please know who you are in Jesus and who he created you to be. But remember everything in love. read Boundaries by
Henry Cloud, John Townsend, John Sims Townsend. it changed my life!
---Louise on 9/25/06

I believe that we should be submissive to our husbands as an example of our belief that Jesus is the husband of the church and has all say. I do however believe that our husbands should love us and listen to our opinion and if we have a unity of the spirit as the church should have with our Lord then we should both agree and both opinions match. To me it's not a matter of a power play or keeping us under his thumb but showing mutual love with a subjection to our head.
---Shari on 6/23/06

I don't think that God gave women minds to go to waste. We have great gifts to contribute, and we are equal in the eyes of God with men. I do not believe we have to 'submit' to something that goes against our intuition or heart. In a true egalitarian relationship, when there is a disagreement, the two parties work to resolve it to a compromise. Both submit to each other in compromise.
---Grace on 6/5/06

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Part 2.

Thrice the Apostle exhorts husbands to LOVE their wives--a revolutionary idea in a society where arranged marriages were the norm.

Wives are told only to submit to their husbands--not to love them.

I'd rather be loved, myself.
---Jack on 6/5/06

Jesus commanded us to love God with all our faculties--including our MINDS. There's no indication that women are exempted from this, so obviously they are expected to have minds.

All other things being equal, the husband traditionally has the last word. But not the NEXT to the last word. A wise and considerate husband will listen to his wife. Proverbs 31 suggests he does so.

But something tells me there's more to your story than can be told in 50 words or less.
---Jack on 6/5/06

Jesus said the greatest among you shall be the servant of all.

A wife should see this model from her husband, and when she does, it will inspire the same mind; the mind of Christ.

In following this it's not only easy but natural to submit one to another.

The tugging of the rudder in the wheel house however ALWAYS lands a ship upon the rocks.
Is this your legacy?
---Pharisee on 6/5/06

ps to answer you, yes, but as for men and all Gods people, including men many times we don,t think holy thoughts before our mouth opens.
---tom2 on 5/30/06

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women have the most thankless job in creation,you are to be a helper, and encourager,aka a ego builder,submit to your husband in everything,most of the responsibility for nurturing the children,and on and on and on.Every man out there with a good non nagging wife , sorry ladies, should thank God above for his blessing of her.
---tom2 on 5/30/06

MikeM, Gawdy women on TBN? God sees NOT as man sees, God looks upon the heart and judges by our hearts. Let Him who has ears, HEAR what the Spirit is saying. Who cares what they look like? If they are preaching TRUTH, receive it. Eat the chicken and spit out the bones. Mike, you can't judge people by their outer appearance, if you do, you remain in the outer court and your spiritual eyes and ears are not developed to the point where you can see beyond flesh and bones.
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

You were created with a mind, use it.
---sherry_g on 5/10/06

MikeM--I don't think the women on TBN are any worse than the men. But they aren't exactly shrinking violets as some people believe pentecostal women have to be.I wouldn't recommend TBN to anyone! We no longer have it on basic cable here. TBN is still available, but people now have to PAY EXTRA to hear false doctrine.
---Donna2277 on 5/9/06

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Donna thank you, you made my point better than I did!
My grandfather knew Amy MCPherson. She are caught red handed in a compromising position, yet her charisma pulled her through. TBN? I read in scripture 'God will not be mocked!" Thats what I think of when I see those gawdy women.
---MikeM on 5/9/06

Actually some pentecostal churches have powerful women. Some have had woman pastors or even founders. Remember Katherine Koulman (sp?) or Amy Semple McPherson? No, probably few of you remember them, most likely before your time. O.K., just look at all the women who teach/preach on TBN!...
---Donna2277 on 5/9/06

Can Christian women have a mind? Sure,as long as they don't bring it to church.
---Donna2277 on 5/9/06

My Southern Baptist relitives are rather well educated. Through I disagree with their beliefs, those women are strong, educated,in their opinions and actions, they hold the family together. They are just too beefy to push around. In the pentacostal part of my family, the women are no more than overly emotional shadows, co-dependent and childlike. In my home I am without question the absolute boss, whenever she allows me to be.
---MikeM on 5/9/06

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You are not wrong,he is. Read the verse right above the one that says wives submit to your own husbands as unto the Lord,it says submit ye one to another. We submit to the Lord with free will,not dictatorship. We voice our feelings freely to God,we have the right to choose what we want. We submit to God through love because we want to please our kind,nondemanding,loving,Father. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it/us. Being a control freek isn't Godly!
---Darlene_1 on 5/9/06

Here's an interesting item. My wife while on A business trip to New Orleans received this word of knowledge after prayer. Give attention to your husband and what he says. My wife told me about this shortly after she returned from the trip Now we never had much trouble anyway and we both laugh about this happening now but it is in fact a true story.
---mima on 5/9/06

My question is that if a woman submits to her husband, does that make her husband her god?
---randy on 5/9/06

Read Proverbs:31. Does that sound like a thinking woman to you?
---Kate on 5/8/06

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In the Spirit men and woman are equal, neither male or female,women recieve circumcision of the heart just like men. In the flesh any man who is a dictator over his wife is an anti-christ, husbands love your wives as Christ did the church, that means laying down your life and making are the bride of christ the same as women. God made man male and female.They are one as Christ and God are one, christ submits his will to God and God gives him everything.
---exzuc6636 on 5/8/06

Wife should obviously submit before husband who inturn submits himself to God. Instead of thinking about having a own mind, submit this doubt to Lord and ask for His will to be done in ur life which will give u a fruitful n perfect response.
---neeraja on 5/8/06

A woman is expected to have a mind. A loving husband would seek his wife's opinions and thoughts on any matter. Ideally, both will be in one accord on most matters, but in the event they are not, then she is to submit to his decision, trusting that He sought God's wisdom in the final matter.
---Madison on 5/8/06

No where in the Bible does it tell a woman that she needs to not voice her opinion or her feelings. I like this little saying,God made a woman from the side of a man
1. not from his head, to be over him
2. not from his feet, to be stepped on my him,
3. But, from his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected by him and close to his heart to be loved by him.
---Rev.Lynda on 5/8/06

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Being a submissive wife does not mean being a doormat. If the husband loves his wife he ought to show leadership and listen to the wife as well. it all points to love. if the hubby loves the wife as the bible says, only an insane wife would be subservient.
---pkay on 5/8/06

I also believe another consideration is whether or not the husband has taken his place as spiritual leader of the family. Many women are serving the Lord to higher degree than their husbands and are actually more qualified spiritually to make spiritual decisions. Man or woman, we all are in subjection to Christ before any other.
---Debbie on 5/8/06

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