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Do Men Judge Women's Looks

When Abraham sent his servant Elizear to find a wife for Isaac, he saw Rebekah and she was BEAUTIFUL. So I ask you folks, what has changed? Why haven't men changed and get to know a woman FIRST before judging by outward appearance?

Moderator - God made men visional.

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 ---Donna9759 on 5/9/06
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...But not all men because i've seen some very unattractive women with very nice looking, loving husbands. Most women do the samething too. How many woman would date an unattractive man? Only if he had money or a nice body or nice home ect! it goes both ways!
---sauda on 9/28/11

tom, in my first response i was talking about My wife, not your ex
---andy3996 on 9/28/11

ELENA, There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman (or a man) having "good looks". GOD created many different people with many different looks. And, you know, "Looks" and "Beauty" are only a matter of opinion. What one man finds attractive in a woman, another man may not. GOD created people to look beautiful. It's just we have to ALSO go beyond the looks and value the person themselves ALSO. It is true, Looks are only temporary and they fade and change with time. But, they are important to a degree.
---Gordon on 9/28/11

andy,every attribute u name were and still are sadly misssing from her,and alot of people in this messed up world,too bad u dont know me well ,cause iam chalf full of all of them,my dad made sure of that,as he did with all 5 of his sons,and none of us pull any punches when it comes to speakong truth.
---tom2 on 9/28/11

Tom2 "my wife was breath takingly beautiful" i'll do so but you look up the difference between my wife and my ex wife...
integrity, In ethics, is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions, honesty: freedom from deceit or fraud.

naming your ex your wife you put people on a sidetrack. Tom are you correcting me for YOUR misstake instead of saying oops i misfrased that? how do you use following words: integrity, honnesty and trust? because in court, your the suspect.
---andy3996 on 9/27/11

andy i believe u need to look up the meaning of the word integrity,has nothing to do with discribing a adulterer,look up honesty,and trust while u are at it.
---tom2 on 9/27/11

Shira, you are so right, people who do not shower, or have a strong smell so turn many off real quick. You don't even have to get close and wow, you are overpowered. Sometimes their breath is overpowering, you want to stay away from them.
---Mark_V. on 9/27/11

Tom2 SO she's an EX, are you pressently in another relation? i hope so, and i hope that the other wife is a great wife to you. then again IF your second wouldknow that you call the former "my wife" wouldnt that hurt her as well? as i said, you've put a question to your integrity, even when you eronically frased your statementjust to make a funny point.
---andy3996 on 9/27/11

Moderator permit- hello,gentlemen it's probably best if the woman not real goodlookin'...becuz goodlookin' woman don't nobody delve,dare to be Real with her they think we all a like! It can be go against youi instead of help you! My case! I wud rather be liked for my personality than to be sought after for looks! That's why,I believe now God way best way! All the outside temporal! True love be there,sick or not,beauty or not! Hard to find! Love of Jesus..
---ELENA on 9/26/11

andy 3996 the woman hasnt been my wife for over 30 years now,but has been married 4 times,and is still immature and goofy,and cheats like she did on me.
---tom2 on 9/26/11

Beauty can be deceptive and fleeting so the scripture says. An inner beauty can radiate through a persons entire being. Some may not have the eyes to see it, but the receiver of a person with great inner beauty is blessed. Many of the shallowest women Ive met are lookers. To be a hand maiden of the Lord, a daughter of Jerusalem, a pillar of the temple, a Proverbs 31 woman, who can find?? Thank God for outer beauty, but it can be like having great riches, they are a great responsibility. Lucifer was said to be a beautiful angel, and look how he attempted to rise above God. A tender Christ centered heart full of faith/hope/love/wisdom is so, so beautiful.
---Poppa_Bear on 9/26/11

Tom2i know you cannot be serious, in insulting your wife this way you've questioned your integirity. My wife is beautifull, really she is also very gentle and submissive. we're a perfect match. i wished that i could be with her forever, she really is the one. YET she's the worst cook and i'm a gourmand. then again i married a wife, not a cook so i live with her tiny flaws as she lives with my great atrocities.
---andy3996 on 9/26/11

Donna, The Moderator is right. GOD wired men to operate and function differently than women. Men get sexually aroused in a different way than women. These two opposing functions are actually meant to work in harmony with each other, especially in Marriage. Even though the functions are different. Men are not wired to think like women. There are some men who have similar traits, but, in general, men and women think differently. They were created that way on purpose by GOD. For within the Nature of the GOD-Head are contained both the Masculine and Feminine Traits. We are created in HIS Image, too.
---Gordon on 9/26/11

my wife was breath takingly beautiful,also as immature and goofy as they come,if i were to marry again i would look for the ugliest woman i could find.
---tom2 on 9/26/11

Robyn: Not ALL men on this site are liars! Some of us are now very conscious that good looks or beauty does not make a good home or union, or give "trouble-less" companionship.
---Adetunji on 9/26/11

All of the men on this site are liars. When a man choose to talk to or pursue a woman, it is something about her outer appearance that catches his eye(s).

LOL no more of LIARS than the women!!!

have yet to hear a women go ga-ga over a heavy-set bald man and LOOK HIS WAY unless of course he has M-O-N-E-Y ...many more women forgo physical attributes and settle for financial security however that doesn't indicate that they are happy with a less physically attractive man for HIS money than a man would be with a beautiful women who has nothing else to offer ...probably why 60%++ divorce rate in USA

no women would be honest with herself if she did not ADMIT she FIRST appreciated SOMETHING of physical attribute of a man
---Rhonda on 9/26/11

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Moderator -permit,Actually,one of the most helpfull fascinating people that if it had not been for my job,etc.. (worked lawfirm) did not allow.however,Really credit God put this person 'n my pathway help me focus' on my life,God and really he was instrumental me being successfull at my past career. He helped me have confidence and faith 'n God when I had none. Thanks!
---ELENA on 9/26/11

All of the men on this site are liars. When a man choose to talk to or pursue a woman, it is something about her outer appearance that catches his eye(s). This has been a running joke among men for centuries. They like her boobs,butt,legs or something. Its nothing wrong with that. We should be truthful about it.We women have our preferences,too. No big bellies,bald heads,smelly breath,scratchy beards,wrinkled clothes,smelly feet. Not with me! No unpleasant odors no where on the body.I would never approach a man unless I am well-groomed and smelling sweeter than a rose. I will accept nothing,less! The other people,including you Eloy. Can go the way of the dodo bird. Good bye and good riddance. I am for real.
---Robyn on 9/25/11

Markv, you are right but when I meet someone, the first thing I see is "dirty" or "clean". Nothing more disgusting is a dirty stinky person. I know when we work, we get dirty and sweaty but I am talking about a way of life.
---shira3877 on 9/26/11

Wow! Moderator,pretty much right! I had a job quite a while,voluteer,etc..Work'with the guys(some Rehab,others sent by state) long story -short! looks most men first "take"... She look good..Most time they all in..(exceptions too!)Looks not "all that" .... And of course women,we Romantic off in the sunset!We are nature oriented! Where's that going! Feeling sorry"..nurtures...any
---ELENA on 9/25/11

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Rebekah was not choosen for her looks, but rather the kindness of her heart.

Now lets us keep in mind that the standard of beuty in those days favour the more chubby women, not the size 2 but the size 22-26
---Francis on 9/25/11

I agree men are visual creatures.What they need to remember is those looks don't last forever.
---shirley on 9/25/11

Robyn, you are missing many opportunities with good people because of focusing on outward appearances. What if you met Jesus Christ in person after someone had knocked his teeth out. Or after he was imprisoned for a while and his teeth were not clean? Would you say to him, "No more conversation from me. Go!?"
---Eloy on 9/25/11

\\But what do they use to look with?\\

Eyes, usually.

Gloty to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/25/11

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Women NEVER judge men's appearances, do they?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/24/11

ok have u read isaiah 53? verse 2? towards the end describing jesus? and when we see him thereis NO beauty that we should desire him.need i say more about attraction?God purposely made his son without beauty,so the question might be bwhat is real beauty?outward,or inward?well i know what GOD THINKS.
---tom2 on 9/24/11

Shira, been beautiful outside is great, but beautiful inside is better. If you recall what happen to Eve, you can see what I mean.
"She saw that the fruit of the tree was ...pleasing to the eyes" (v.6). Temptation offend comes wrapped in the form of something beautiful, something that appeals to our senses and desires. That is why it's often necessary to think twice before we recognize that a beautiful object or goal is really sin in disguise. In this incident Eve failed to discriminate between the beautiful package and the sinful contents that the package contained. Not saying beautiful woman are sin, but that beauty can cause us to sin. We should think more then twice to make sure that sin is not in the package.
---Mark_V. on 9/25/11

Men are visual creatures. I always assumed. But what do they use to look with? I never could figure that one out. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty means different things to different people. Women are pretty visual,too. When I meet a man. I look at his face,first. I look for expressive,eyes, nice mouth and teeth. If the teeth are messy,missing and yellow. Bye,bye. No more conversation from me. I can't get beyond that. Rich or poor. Go!
---Robyn on 9/24/11

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Why shouldn't a woman be judged as beautiful? How can this be an insult?

Why shouldn't we also judge that beauty does not make a woman a beautiful person, that true and lasting beauty comes from within?
---Warwick on 9/22/11

When someone is neat, clean, and their body taken care of, that is more than God given looks. There is just something about a clean smelling person that stands out.
---shira3877 on 9/21/11

Donna9759: When I have not surrendered my life to Christ, appearance of women was the start of attraction to me. But now that the Lord has taught me more lessons of life, the appearance of women do not count much to me, because a Godly or a murderer in female form may look alike.
---Adetunji on 9/21/11

Shira, thank you for your answer. I suppose I was only talking to you, but was really answering my own question. Nothing wrong with your beauty. I love what is within. The outside of the person is most of the time a dillusion, and not of what is inside.
---Mark_V. on 9/20/11

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Markv, thanks for enlightning me. I really never said beauty is mentioned in scripture. Rapture is not mentioned either but it still will happen. If I can recollect, the bible refers to good looking people as "fair" or "pleasing". There may be other references but I am not sure.
---shira3877 on 9/20/11

It seems to me shira, that the only reason beauty is mention in Scripture is to later present a tempation or sin of some sort. Or the writer presents someone to later show how someone failed in life because of the beauty of a woman.
Otherwise it does not mention beauty.
---Mark_V. on 9/20/11

Obviously, my beauty is inner because it sure isn't outer. But....God made me the way I am and if anyone has a problem with my looks, take it up with God. He gave me everything I have.
---shira3877 on 9/19/11

Eyes are made to see, and the things we see give us understanding of what we are looking at: we can discern by looking at a person whether they look well or ill, happy or sad, average size or otherwise, plain or stunning. For example, If I look a Jennifer Aniston and she is standing beside an emaciated or an obese woman, I would rightly say that Jennifer Aniston is a very foxy lady and attractively gorgeous, and also it would be right to say that the scrawny or the heavy woman was hard on the eyes to look at.
---Eloy on 9/19/11

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It's biology. There has to at least be SOME physical attraction before there can be anything else. Many men have different tastes so they are attracted to different types of women. You can't expect a man to want to be with a woman who is physically repulsive to him. It's not that men are shallow, that's just how God made biology work. I think it would be the same for women too. Would you want to be mated with someone you are not attracted to?
---Jed on 9/17/11

Rhonda is correct. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This topic is generalizing much about men.

The factors involved in attraction are many and complex. Even women take physical attractiveness of men into consideration.

I have heard women say they are not attracted to men who are not tall/big enough, or balding, etc. And that's ok, as we all have different complex elements in what attracts.
---Haz27 on 9/17/11

Well, can we show any scripture of UGLY MEN?

I believe Jesus was not to be very handsome.

But do we love or not Love Jesus because of His looks?

I believe between Rachel and Leah one was beautiful and one was not, and it displeased God that Jacob judged Leah about her looks.

Bathsheba was beautiful too, and look what happened there.

Is God promoting physical beauty over everything else?
---kathr4453 on 9/16/11

the moderator is right.God made men to be sensitive to be visually stimulated.first thing that man notice about a woman is her appearance or looks.unlike women who are more emotional,looks appears just to be secondary only
---mj on 9/16/11

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Since this blog is very old, from 2006 and this Donna might not be around, I want to add some juice to the blog. We only read passages of a woman being beautiful in Scripture but never do we read that a woman is ugly, or very ugly and fat. Does anyone have a clue why? Is there verses of some ugly fat woman that I missed? And if not, why?
---Mark_V. on 9/16/11

beauty is in the eye of the beholder ...there are many unattractive women by "standards of majority" yet their husbands think they are beautiful

women who believe men only seek beauty haven't met all the beautiful women rejected by men because these "beautiful women" have nothing else to offer other than their beauty

if you truly believe men ONLY judge by outward appearance you should get out more and meet more men rather than LUMP all men together in a narrow-minded point of view
---Rhonda on 9/15/11

Looks really do not matter. It doesn't matter how someone looks. If they're handsome, but unsaved, why would you bother with them.

In the description of the Proverbs 31 woman, it says nothing about how she looks, because it's not her appearance that is the focus, but her character.

What's further more, if you do not want to be judged on your looks, do not judge others because the in same manner that you judge, you will also be judged.

Stop looking at other's flaws and instead, deal with your own. You're not perfect, so why do you expect others to be?
---Maureen on 9/15/11

That's just the way it is. Deal

I might add, there'nothing that says that Rebekah loved Isaac. It's obvious they had different agendas by the time their sons were grown.

And as we all know, women are never fooled by men's outward appearance. They can can recognize a scoundrel at once, regardless of how handsome he is.
---Jack on 9/24/07

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"Why haven't men changed and get to know a woman FIRST before judging by outward appearance?" Because the nature of "man" has not changed. It would be like asking "Why are women so emotional?" Uuh - because they ARE!! Now, I have known men to change their minds once they get to know someone, but it is always, ALWAYS going to be looks that first attract a man. Trying to change that is like trying to change the wind.
---Criss on 6/9/06

First impact is on the eye. Beauty attracts. I studied my wife's eyes first and read lots of goodies in them. Then character, intelligence, honesty, dignity.

Never read that she's crazy about chilli but then no one can be perfect!!!a
---A_Catholic on 5/23/06

Anyone bought any junk food just because it was wrapped in attractive packaging? If we take our health seriously, we may be attracted by the packaging of food, but we then examine the ingredients, and ask ourselves, Is this healthful for me? God intends that we take His word as our guide, even in marriage choices. He gives us principles of truth that are largely ignored today--thus men (and women) follow their eyes and feelings instead of asking council of the Lord.
---Wayne87 on 5/20/06

Donna, in one sense nothing has changed, yet Christ always tried--from Genesis to Revelation, to reveal to us the danger of looking at outward appearance as being of highest value--consider Samuel and Jesse's sons (1 Samuel 16:6 and onward). Rebekah's act of watering the camels showed she had a generous heart and was physically capable. She had no thought of it leading to marriage. While looks may attract, beauty of character is of the highest value and importance for a Christian.
---Wayne87 on 5/20/06

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Barb, now how could I possibly post a picture in my profile? Do you want women all over the world fainting in front of their computers? I couldn't have that on my conscience.
---ralph7477 on 5/19/06

Lets see a picture in your profile Ralphie!
According to what you wrote, you are 'average looking' and need to loose 10 pounds!

I'm always surprised when guys approach me in a grocery store and ask for advice like I'm Martha Stewart! I'm certainly no kid, but all ages of men seem to think a store is a good place to meet women, especially the produce aisle, go figure...
---NVBarbara on 5/17/06

Sherry G, you build me up too much. "Drop dead gorgeous" would be an exaggeration. No female has ever dropped dead in my presence. Usually they only faint, which is why I carry smelling salts whenever I go out in public.
---ralph7477 on 5/15/06

Hardyharhar Ralph, man you must really be something huh...I'm so broke I'll never get that privilege, boohoohoo......
It is natural and normal for men and women to look at the outward appearance, we've got to have some sort of attraction at first to draw us to the person. Could be the smile, the eyes, the beautiful face or maybe they're drop dead gorgeous like Ralph;).
---sherry_g on 5/15/06

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ralph, maybe it was your choice of women and not God's choice for you. Remember, men are visual, but God looks upon the heart. Could it be you went after looks first? Which is the point I'm refuting on this blog. Men NEED to get to know a woman's insides FIRST and not be dragged down a wrong road by her looks.
---Donna9759 on 5/12/06

$5,000 per head?! How much more for the rest of her? Seriously though, it should be the other way around. The beautiful women should be required to pay the 5 thousand for the privilege of meeting me. Sort of like a security deposit. I'm tapped out from the previous beautiful women in my life who pledged their undying love and faithfulness.
---ralph7477 on 5/11/06

I don't think there is anything wrong with appreciating someone's looks. When we lust and become obcessed with looks of ourselves or others, that is wrong.
---Ulrika on 5/11/06

I forgot one thing...I have to say josef had the most thought out and profound response. Men live their life based on sensual perceptions, especially Christian men, which blows my mind. I can look beyond a man's looks and date a plain joe as long as he has a heart after Father's heart, amen? Why can't men do the same? It's baffling, isn't it?
---Donna9759 on 5/11/06

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Third, Bebet, tell those men you work with that Eve was naked and no wonder why Adam was attracted to her beauty. That's a no

Lastly, John, God didn't recognize her good looks because God sees NOT as man sees, God looks upon the heart, not the outward appearance, so what's your response to that? LOL I am having a good time with this. Thank you all for humoring me.
---Donna9759 on 5/11/06

I'm back and wish to respond to your answers. I loved them all, you are all such a gracious bunch..(((huggs to all)))).

Bruce: I would rather you approach me and tell the TRUTH, and say something like is your inner beauty as beautiful as your outer beauty? Isn't that REALLY why you'd be approaching me? LOL

Okay second, Ralph, LOL at wanting a Pilot Program. Let's get one on board.
---Donna9759 on 5/11/06

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most unregenerate are superficial and look upon the outward appearance, that's why most commercials show eye-appealing models, rather than real people who are heavy or have blemishes or other so-called undesirables. But God and his children look upon the heart. I've met some extremely beautiful people who were ugly according to the worlds standards, but most beautiful inwardly.
---Eloy on 5/11/06

Donna for the same reason women have not. We have that tendency to live our life based on our sensual perceptions. Until we recognize this and truly allow for a renewing of our mind in this area. This will always be the case.
---josef on 5/10/06

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LOL...Ralph, pay me $5,000.00 a head and I will go on a search for you.
---sherry_g on 5/10/06

"Why haven't men changed and get to know a woman FIRST before judging by outward appearance?" Normally, the interest of a person is "sparked by something" that the other person possess. Most of the time, the interest of men on a woman, is ignited by the woman's beauty. But not all men are being drawn into knowing a woman because only of her outward appearance.
---Bebet3754 on 5/10/06

I have shared this question with the Christian men in our department. They gave me this answer: "None has changed. Man would always look at a woman the way Adam looked at Eve after she was presented by God to him. Adam was amazed with the looks of Eve. He was amazed of the difference between his and her own looks. He was amazed of her beauty! It is not man's mistake to look at beautiful women. God created Eve to be beautiful. God created a woman to be beautiful!"
---Bebet3754 on 5/10/06

Donna 9759,well I didn't know I would when I married but I wound up watering the horses so I guess I would, Ha Ha. Had the husband before we moved to the country guess Thats what happens when you marry a man who loves horses and lives in the country. Maybe they loved their camels Ha ha.
---Darlene_1 on 5/9/06

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Donna, you are so cute. Take another look at that story and you will see that Eleazer cut a deal with the Lord that if a damsel came to the well and offered to give the camels water then he would know that this was the gal for Isaak. She did. So Isaak would have got Rebekah even if she had a boil on her nose and was missing all her teeth. Who is it that said she was nice looking? Moses penned this by inspiration of the Holy Spirit so it is actually God who recognized her good looks. Even God is visual.
---john on 5/9/06

I am guessing, men are not so much judging by looks, but they are attracted by looks.

It was clear Rebekah was chosen by God for Isaac. Genesis 24:12-27
---Ulrika on 5/9/06

I think men have changed greatly since bible times. Nobody I know has a servant to go out and find beautiful women. I'm for going back to that system. I volunteer for a pilot program.
---ralph7477 on 5/9/06

You wonder why a man would not want to get to know you before asking the time? If I saw you in the store, and thought I might want to get to know you, would it be innappropriate to try to start a conversation by asking you the time? :)
---Bruce5656 on 5/9/06

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I still want to know why Elizear RAN to Rebekah because she was beautiful and didn't wait to see if there were other women out there available. P.S. I would NOT water 10 camels for And I'm not lazy. I wouldn't want a husband that bad, that I would water 10 camels, would you ladies out there do that?
---Donna9759 on 5/9/06

Moderator - I have to disagree. There is no PLAIN JOE! I have seen plain women with extremely handsome men. Do you know why? I am laughing, so please bear with me. She is with the handsome dude because she's insecure and he's only after one thing. There is something not normal about the way we are attracted to the opposite sex. Although I tend to agree with Darlene. I was hired for my looks, not my brains, good thing I had some though, huh? LOL
---Donna9759 on 5/9/06

Moderator,ha ha, I can't resist, just a little input,God also made women visional. A lot of unfounded propaganda would have all to believe men and women are so different,actually they are more similar than different. Women's attention is also drawn first to men with good looks,good build, and then they get to know them. Employers are also drawn first to the goodlooking people to hire. People also expect more out of goodlooking people. Thats just the way it is,looks count.
---Darlene_1 on 5/9/06

A man after God's own heart would look deeper than her skin and face. If it's true that God made men visional then how come there are alot of plain janes out there married? Please answer that one.

Moderator - Because to plain joe she is pretty.
---Donna9759 on 5/9/06

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Moderator is correct. And don't look for this to change anytime soon. Why couldn't God have just made all women beautiful? (just kidding).
---Donna2277 on 5/9/06

By the time a man learns that beauty is only skin deep he is already engaging in the "skin" game. In my own case my wife was a beauty queen candidate. And low and behold now 69 years old(six months older than I am) she gets better looking with age. This is not the babbling of a silly husband but many of her longtime acquaintances comment on this fact also.
---mima on 5/9/06

Mod - So are you saying men are surfacy, not deep people? LOL Don't delete this, let is post, okay? This point needs to be brought out. I happen to be not hard to look at and the thing that bothers me the most is men coming up to me at a store asking me "what time is it?" Why can't men get to know a woman FIRST? Why didn't Elizear ask Rebekah, how are you doing? Instead of dragging her off to her Uncle Laban's house right away?
---Donna9759 on 5/9/06

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