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What Is A Marriage Today

What is it that makes a marriage or what is marriage? What is it that makes someone married?

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 ---Elder on 5/16/06
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I always thought engaging in sexual intercourse was 2 flesh becoming 1. Of course I am probably way off.

1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
---chris on 7/4/08

Some people are renewing their marriage vows today, because they believe "Man and wife" is no longer accurate.
They are renewing to say, "Husband and Wife", so that it's no longer just a 'man' and a "wife". Husband and Wife, more biblical.
---Bob on 10/18/07

Making a covenant agreement with God, marriage vows. The laws of our land require a marriage license.
You can say vows without one, but according to the law in many states, your entitlements will not be the same as with a license. Medical insurance, and such.
---Bob on 10/18/07

"What is it that makes someone married?" It's definitely not the piece of paper that's given to the married couple.
---A_Catholic on 10/18/07

It is still possible to have marriages that last a lifetime. I come from a large family where divorce if extremely rare. And I have seen lots of people outside of my family marry and divorce. Usually it is possible to see it coming even before they exchange vows.

People today shove God and family out the window and seek their own pleasures. Until they stop to see the larger picture, divorce will continue to plague them.
---lorra8574 on 3/30/07

Best way to guarantee a divorce, shack up first. Those who have lived together prior to marriage have about a 70% chance of divorce. It it was a trial marriage, you can increase that to 90% - need proof, look around you.

People who use natural family planning instead of artificial birth control have a 95% marriage success rate, regardless of religious affiliation.
---lorra8574 on 3/30/07

Mima; Where does the bible say "Only God can give you a good wife"?

The bible does say that all good things come from God...I think that would include a good wife
---christina on 3/28/07

Divorce is the breaking of a contract.Marriage is a sacred trust & contract sealed before Almighty God as a witness.People are well advised to explore the meaning of this before commitment Once done YOU Both LIVE BY it. It's irrevokable God says one condition absolves & this is transgressing His law Thou shalt not commit adultery.You know the result of that death & destruction in more shapes & forms.
---Emcee on 3/28/07

Elder, Good luck with this one. With 50% first marrages ending in divorce, and 60% re-marrages end in divorce. Do you really think you can get the answer you are looking for? Marrages are not the same today as when you got married, and people were raised to respect and honor one another. What the heck is "irreconciliable differences" anyway? I think that term just leaves the door open to walk out for just about anything you don't like.
---Fred_S. on 3/28/07

It would be interesting to find out what constitutes Legal divorce? not that I don't know but for others since it's one of the most asked questions.Can anyone answer that one?
---Carla5754 on 5/24/06

Marriage today is also the only legally binding contractual agreement whereby the person who chooses to break the agreement can sue the person who kept the agreement, often walking away with substantial rewards.
---ralph7477 on 5/23/06

Mima; Where does the bible say "Only God can give you a good wife"?
---1st_cliff on 5/22/06

Marriage is a covenant agreement that is legally binding.
The best marriages are Christ centered but lost people can be married also because of the covenant agreement they have made. The covenant is legal also. The covenant consist of the promises and items we agree to accept. Marriages break up because the promises made are broken. Joseph almost "put away" Mary legally because he thought the first part of their covenant was broken.
---Elder on 5/22/06

We will be married 10 years this June and the factor that made it work is that we kept God right in the middle of it. On the day we married, it was a drizzly day, but when we walked down to the spot by the pond, the rain stopped and just as we were saying our vows, a break in the clouds opened up and a beam of light shone down right on us as we were married. God indded blessed our marriage and has blessed it ever since. I have never known such happiness. Praise God!
---Debbie on 5/20/06

#1 I prayed for 9 years for the Lord to send me a Christian man. I had been involved in abusive relationships and told the Lord I didn't know how to pick a husband. I told Him I was not going out looking for one, He would have to drop him on my door step. God shows a whole lot more mercy and grace than man does. God forgave me and restored me and gave me my hearts desire.
---Debbie on 5/20/06

T.S., you asked me "What did YOU do before you were forgiven? How would you like to still be called that from now on???" I've no idea what you are talking about. What was I called and from what did I need to be forgiven? You also said that according to the bible, a second marriage is valid if we can leave the past behind and move forward. Can you please show the verses?
---ralph7477 on 5/20/06

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I was hoping the generation before us would teach us to be more responible in our decisions choosing our life parteners. Attaching two lives with ultimate promise,faith till the end and relearning love everyday. Is it possible?
---kimscott on 5/20/06

2. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. That's the beauty of God's grace- we can't fix or change our past, but with mercy, and forgiveness from God, we can leave the past behind and move forward. If it's handled this way, according to the Bible, then the second union IS valid and it does not make the repentant man/woman an adulterer. That's nullifying the power of the blood of Jesus to WASH AWAY sin! What did YOU do before you were forgiven? How would you like to still be called that from now on???
---T.S. on 5/19/06

It is the law of the land AND God's word. Divorce has been out of control for years. But everybody who claims to be born again who has divorced and remarried can NOT change their past. Ususally, it's only one partner who decides to disolve the marriage- what's the other one to do? You can't stop somebody from leaving. If THEY leave, that does not make YOU guilty of the "sin of divorce". One can only "clear the slate" so to speak with God, and start anew- with someone else.
---T.S. on 5/19/06

T.S., no need to get all worked up. I have read the Word and I am not pro-fornication. The whole crux of the issue is what Elder has asked in his question...what makes somebody married. Is it what legislators decide or is it something more? God's Word supercedes man's law which is true. How many legally married couples do you know who, according to the bible, are not eligible to be married and are committing adultery? How many churches and individuals play along and treat them as married?
---ralph7477 on 5/18/06

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ralph: the original constitution of marriage is based on biblical principles, and therefore should be honored and obeyed. If in todays twisted world, a law is developed that goes against what God's word teaches, then the Word of God is our higher authority as believers. But this "Well, we've already slept together so that means we're married in the eyes of God" is a bunch of hogwash- That doesn't make you married, it makes you a FORNICATOR!!! READ the Word!
---T.S. on 5/18/06

What the State recognizes as a "legal" marriage has no bearing on what God recognizes as a marriage. In Vermont, Massachusetts and some other wacked out jurisdictions, two men or two women can be legally married. Are we to recognize the laws of the land and consider these folks married couples?
---ralph7477 on 5/18/06

The Bible says," only God can give you a good wife." Therefore based on that statement. I want to state I'm very thankful to Lord for my Wife.
---mima on 5/18/06

Ulrika, I believe that you have the answer. A covenant between God and men,(women). Though we make a commitment to each other it is really a commitment to God. For He set the order of things for all of us.
---Lupe2618 on 5/18/06

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Chris, this might be what you are refering to.
Exodous 22:16
And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
This explains the reasoning of poligamy.
---Fred_S. on 5/18/06

4. Don't ever go to bed mad at one another, and NEVER leave each other with unsettled conflicts and hateful words. You don't have to always agree on everything, but you do have to agree on one thing: You can't imagine your life without the other
---T.S. on 5/18/06

3. A marriage built around any one thing will soon fail, especially if that one thing is physical attraction and sex. That is only a small part of the whole thing that makes a wonderful marriage. Your husband or wife MUST come second only to God in your life. Husbands, cut the apron strings to mommy when you marry. Wives, don't ever choose a night out with the girls over an evening with him.
---T.S. on 5/18/06

2. Even the marriage vows teach us a lot, if we'll listen and take them seriously- to love each other, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, and stay with ONLY each other for the rest of your lives. Sadly, a lot of brides and grooms are just mouthing these words and not really taking them to heart.
---T.S. on 5/18/06

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Marriage is made up of many things. We are taught in the Word to obey the laws of the land. You are not 'legally' married without a marriage license and an official joining you in legal wedlock. Then of course comes the consumation of the marriage, where the bride and groom become one. We also read in 1 Cor 13, a lot of the vital parts of a happy marriage. Also in the 5th ch of Eph, we read about some other aspects of a successful marriage.
---T.S. on 5/18/06

Marriage is a covenant between God and a man and a woman, that lasts until either the man or the woman dies.
---Ulrika on 5/17/06

The Dating & Marriage quiz is a good way to learn what the Bible says about the subject.
---Ulrika on 5/17/06

shira, scary isnt it? In my case I would have 1 wife and my wife about 20 husbands. Wilt Chaimberland would be in the 10000's... I know I butchered his name.
---chris on 5/17/06

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Already gave my support for it Jack, you need to start reading the blog from the beginning. Why should I offer it to you anyway, you are only wanting it so you can cook up some cool way to hit me with a derogatory comment. I already explained it was my opinion and was probably wrong, so dont bother.
---chris on 5/17/06

Chris, Just think, some men have hundreds of wives and some women have hundreds of husbands.
---shira on 5/17/06

Internationally the institution of marriage is represented in any number of ways. In the Bible God explains it as a man leaving his family and being joined to a woman so that they become one flesh. Therefore every person you have sex with is your husband/wife. This is why God hates adultery so much. The marital union is supposed to represent the intimacy Jesus has with his bride the church. He only ever has one bride, it has been a lengthy engagement from our point of view!
---David on 5/17/06

Chris, please give Book, Chapter,and Verse for this.
---Jack on 5/17/06

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What is marriage? I believe marriage is a spiritual commitment between two people. I really don't think legal marriage has much to do with this, as we know many people who are legally married, but have no strong committment to each other. If you haven't read the writings of Kahil Gibran, he has translated a wonderful passage entitled 'The Prophet'. It gives a wonderful vision of a more spiritually based marriage.
---Grace on 5/17/06

anon, no it does not because when you became born again, and accepted Jesus's sacrifice on the cross, the shedding of the blood has covered and forgiven you for ALL of your sins, past, present and future. So the blood covers your sins from your former encounters with men. God sees not as man sees, God sees us through the blood, not through our sins passed. We are now COVERED by the blood of Jesus. He was the ultimate sacrifice for our past sins, amen?
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

Elder, you're asking "what keeps a marriage together?"?
Why don't you give us your answer. I'm curious to see what it is.
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

Elder, a physical union of the highest kind (intercourse) is when God considers a man and woman to be married. It's not when you take vowels, it's not in words. The words, vowels, actions after you're married are what KEEP the marriage together. God sees not as man sees and I think you're not seeing that when Abraham went into Sarah, she became his wife. When Rebekah went into Isaac, she became his wife.
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

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Yes anon. I believe that every single one that you sleep with is considered to be a marriage in Gods eyes. (Not that I know for sure, but its what I believe)
---chris on 5/17/06

Donna, No I do not believe that a physical relationship with someone makes marriage, OT or NT. Many perverts have had this type of relationship with animals yet they are not married to them.
Commitment is important and so is Love but that still does not make marriage.
There are many duties and benefits that go with marriage but those don't make marriage either.
---Elder on 5/17/06

Love one another, always be joyful,always be peace loving,suffer the length of time it takes God to restore,be gentle,always have faith in God and in each other,Don't boast,Keep score or prideful,don't envy,never lie,be honest.
---Carla5754 on 5/17/06

donna., when you say the first man you sleep with is your husband does that count for intercourse you had before you were born again?
---anon on 5/17/06

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By the way, another revelation's not the story of the Woman at the well, it's the story of Jesus at the Well. WHY? Because God was there first. Isn't that neat? See how man centered we are?
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

Elder, Now for the practical answer: COMMITTMENT to each other no matter what happens rooted in Christ's love makes a marriage work. You must be equally yoked and rooted and grounded in Christ's love with a COMMITTMENT to stay no matter what happens. Love is NOT a feeling, it's a committment. That's my practical answer....
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

Elder, I think I know the point you're getting at. Sexual intercourse makes someone married. In the OLD Test. as soon as they had relations, God considered them married. There's no wedding ceremonies mentioned in the Old testament. That's why Jesus said to the woman at the well "The one you're living with now isn't your husband, because the Very first man she had intercourse with, was her husband.
---Donna9759 on 5/17/06

what a great question :) pls will more people add their comments here! donna? haha..
---anon on 5/17/06

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Friends I love some of these answers but what is marriage? What makes one married?
We each know what we did and our relationship to our mates but that does not define what marriage is.
I will share my thoughts with you in a few days.
---Elder on 5/16/06

I waited a long time for my husband. I never begged God for one, I lived fine alone. But one day God brought a Godly man into my life. We both loved God FIRST, and then each other. We are honest and true to each other and think of the other's needs before our own. We always make important decisions together and never squabble. We debate sometimes, but that's healthy and it never turns ugly. We have a great 'snuggle' relationship and we are each other's covering. There's more, but not enough room.
---NVBarbara on 5/16/06

what makes a marriage is when we marry whom God intended us to marry and then loving them for who they are and not try to change a person to suit your idea of what you THINK they should be. It is forgiving, forgiving, forgiving.
---shira on 5/16/06

Elder, I have been trying to figure this one out for the past 5 years. I know what it is not. It's not a license, nor a ceremony. It's not a ring or what the State defines as marriage. Does a marriage begin the moment a minister or judge proclaims? Does a marriage end the moment a judge bangs the gavel and declares so? I think not. A real marriage has nothing to do with any of it.
---ralph7477 on 5/16/06

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