Teen Skin Cutter
My 16 yr old daughter is a teen cutter, and here recently she is getting more intense with the cutting.I have had her in counsling, and when it get to the point of making progress, she refuses to go anymore. Please if anyone can point me in the right direction, please give me advice........
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---wendy on 5/31/06
Helpful Blog Vote (31)
dont tell people oh hey your kids possessed by a demon because she cuts I have thought about cutting plenty of times and for whoever said to handcuff her I hope you know that people can't be treated like criminals because they feel pain and its too much for them to handle people who cut are just angels in disguise its our job to love them and help them not condem them and what if they read your posts their going to think I must be possessed by a demon that's why I cut that's why I feel pain all the time one of my best friends cut one she stopped because we took her aside and told her what she ment to us and that we loved her and she's never cut again so I suggest you be there for your daughter and tell her you love her
---Ahelpinghand on 8/9/14|
I feel your pain,I took.in a very dark mixed up boy who was a cutter and also into satanic stuff,,he convinced my son to cut and also took away all the teachings of God into my now aithiest son ,( .its satanic and comes from modern scremo music,very demonic,where i live its a epidemic,now the reason i no it comes from this vile blatantly satanic music,is because all the kids i no who cut listen to it,it disturbs my soul the music,all you can do is pray pray pray..also play gospel music...good luck and even now looking at my sons scars i shake my head :(
---Theresa on 8/25/13|
Jed: You know darn well that people who use cutting as a means of acting are crying out for help, and are fragile. Your suggestion cannot be serious. I hope it's not.
---Grandma on 8/24/13|
Leave her handcuffed to her bed when she is not in direct supervision. This may prevent her from cutting.
---Jed on 8/7/13|
My daughter is 14 and the same thing happened. As you probably already know cutting is a negative coping mechanism. My daughter was depressed suicidal and is a cutter. I speak to her every day and I'm just there for her. She speaks to me about her cutting and she helps me understand what its like. She's explained to me what the urges are like. I don't get angry with her. When she has cut in the past we would sit down and speak about out it and I would have her explain what made her do it. You have to be her everything. You have to be that person she can trust. You have to be someone who doesn't react when she does it and she has to feel you understand. My daughter hasn't cut in weeks.
---Rosario on 8/5/13|
It is demonic. I won't go as far as saying she's possessed. It isn't easy to tell if someone is actually possessed. I am very sorry but I have no advice for you. I will say this much: Watching the news and documentaries occasionally, knowing what I know because now I am saved, and know some things which most people cannot possibly know because they are unbelievers, it is difficult for me.. At times I really do feel for some people. Even some of those that get caught up in some gross crimes.
---pat on 2/15/13|
I can't believe you people would try to say that her daughter is possessed. Do you even think before you comment? What if someone was telling you that someone close to you was demonized? Do you even consider how awful that is? Wendy, I cut myself, I think the best thing is not to force your daughter to quit or pressure her. Just tell her that you are there for her whenever she needs it. What is most important is her knowing that you accept her, love her, and want to help. Remember to give her space.
---anonymous on 2/15/13|
Many have mentioned demon possession, which may be possible. I am quite sure you would be able to discern this if it were so. One does not have to be possessed to inflict themselves, Martin Luther and a great number of monks did and do. The first and most important thing to do is prayer. Second give her your time not a counselor, your time spent with her daily lets her know you love her more than any other thing you can offer. Depression or oppression can destroy people even to the point of taking their lives, which I have seen in persons I know that do this type of thing.
But I don't know the situation and events that have happened in her life though either. I will remember you in prayer.
---willa5568 on 7/26/11|
can someone tell me where teen cutter comes from. i have a niece who needs deliverance.
---auntieliz on 7/24/11|
people in the bible who cut themselves were demon possessed.
---shira3877 on 7/24/11|
maybe, we should find the wip and the stick back, reintoduce them in schools and houses. it seems to me thet the rise of self-infliction is parralel with the abandoning of corporal punnishlments (by all means i do not advocate beating merciless.
Jessica as a child also I accused my parents of being bad, my problem, "i believed that cooked down televersion of happy parents who always dogood... reality, every parent messes up, so to use them as an excuse for your problem is your true sickness. get over it, if its too worse, and you're old enough leave and start yourself you'll find out life's not that easy for your parents as well.
PS get deliverance
---andy3996 on 7/24/11|
\\well i am a teen cutter myself and i think that u should just find out why she is cutting. you might in fact be the problem. if it were me i would refuse counsling also.\\
Jessica-- (if you are still around) If the person who "is the problem" is the same one who wants to know why you are cutting, would you tell them?
If not, how will that person ever find out?
You sound like you want someone to understand why you cut yourself. But if you refuse couseling, how will anybody ever know why you do it.
You may talk to your friends, but if they could help you stop, they would...wouldn't they?
Can you change things without help?
---Donna66 on 7/23/11|
\\well i am a teen cutter myself and i think that u should just find out why she is cutting. you might in fact be the problem. if it were me i would refuse counsling also.
---Jessica on 7/12/11\\
Why are you cutting yourself, Jessica?
If you have problems, how does cutting yourself help solve them?
---Cluny on 7/22/11|
well i am a teen cutter myself and i think that u should just find out why she is cutting. you might in fact be the problem. if it were me i would refuse counsling also.
---Jessica on 7/12/11|
If the only examples of cutting in scripture are demon possessed, does it follow that all demon possessed people cut? No.
Here is a logical argument: Some demon possessed people cut, not all. Some cutters may be demon possessed, not all.
It is not absolute that a cutter is possessed by demons, based on the examples given in scripture. Those particular people who were demon possessed happened to cut.
---Trish on 6/26/11|
In times past I would argue a given point in hopes someone would hear and experience a good result.
Since then I have decided to offer an opinion based on scripture and if it is rejected or ridiculed so be it.
The worshippers of Baal cut themselves for their false god. That type of following comes from a spirit.
The man in the tombs cut himself being possessed by a devil. The spirit that possessed the son threw him in the fire and water.
Not just one.
Believe what you wish though. If proper help for isn't sought my conscience is clear.
---Frank on 6/25/11|
Trish and Leslie,
There is another type of counselor not thought of which goes along with what you two are saying.
 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellers there is safety.
2 Timothy 3:16
 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
The rightly divided word of truth is our best advisor.
Hope this helps.
---Frank on 6/25/11|
Leslie: What you just described in counselors to kings and priests is what most therapists, at least the good ones, do. If you have never been in therapy, you have no clue what goes on in a therapist's office. Therapy is not "Tell me all your problems." It is "How can I help you make positive changes in your life?" At least that is what I learned when I studied it in graduate school. See, I am a social worker who trained to be a therapist in graduate school.
---Trish on 6/25/11|
Trish - I have to admit I was wrong, however so are you. Here is why you are wrong. When the Bible mentions counselors, they are NOT like theapists (tell me all your problems) like we know. Counselors in the Bible were ADVISORS only. They worked for Kings and Priests and gave them direction for what to do and not do and which direction to go in (ex. directing Kings in wartime as to how to fight battles and win). Therefore, as far as counselors like theapists like you think of, the Bible does NOT mention anyone except for the Holy Spirit.
---Leslie on 6/25/11|
Wendy, Is your girl involved with occultic materials? Even "Harry Potter" books? How about her music? Is it dark and evil in nature? Is she sexually active? Are any "recreational, illicit drugs or alcohol a part of her life. These things are open doors to satan's direct influence. It's possible for this to be the cause. So many parents, "Christian" parents, even, are letting their kids get involved in forms of entertainment that is directly from Satan, though it doesn't seem like it is. Not knowing the details, I'd say it's worth a check.
---Gordon on 6/24/11|
Leslie: I have to say that you are wrong. The word "counselor" shows up in 2 Samuel, 1 Chronicles, Psalms, Isaiah (not just the reference to the Lord), and Romans. Do some research before telling me I am wrong.
---Trish on 6/24/11|
Frank and Leslie:
Yes, the Bible does contain ONE example, so it IS possible. But this by no means implies ALL cutting is demon-induced.
The Bible contains much teaching about doctrine, but much more mere recording of facts - that is history, and not teaching. Many people confuse the two and devlop strange doctrines, especially when they extrapolate a doctrine from a single verse. Here are several absurd things that can be believed in this way:
All single daughters will be raped (Genesis 34:1-2).
People rise from the dead at every earthquake (Matthew 27:51-52)
One must avoid sea travel (Gensis 6-8, Jonah 1, Acts 27)
We must be baptized for the dead (1 Corinthians 15:29)
All cutters are demon-possessed (Mark 5:5)
---StrongAxe on 6/24/11|
Trish - Wrong again. The Bible does NOT mention counselors anywhere, it does however mention THE COUNSELOR (The Holy Spirit)(Jn 14:26, 16:7-15).
---Leslie on 6/24/11|
Scripture does not mention a lot of things, but we still make use of them. Plus the Bible does mention counselors, which is what a lot of psychologists are.
I would love to see a logical discussion on this topic, but doubt it will happen. Unfortunately, many Christians think that using logic is equal to demon possession.
---Trish on 6/24/11|
Great statement Frank. You make a good point and this is why people have issues like cutting - from trusting in themselves (and their minds) NOT in Christ and His Word. Pride goes before the fall - the fall here being demon possession leading to cutting.
---Leslie on 6/24/11|
Since the references to self cutting in the Bible are of the demon possessed and since psychologists are not mentioned in the Bible I would go with seeking help with demons coming at her.
May appear crude but it is better to see or hear the truth and be delivered than to reject it for the popular teaching and allow her to be tormented.
And for those who do not believe what the word says about demons and the vanity of man's teaching I am not going to argue or debate the issue.
Too many here are so lifted up in their own mind they will no longer see scriptural proof and the proud spirit they have is not of God.
They may be demon possessed themselves and not recognize it.
---Frank on 6/24/11|
Just because there is one single recorded incident of someone with demons cutting himself, it does not necessarily follow that everyone who cuts himself has a demon.
This is a logical fallacy of the form:
A is B
A is C
Therefore, all B are C
(with A=the man, B=cut self, C=has a demon)
A more obviously absurd conclusion using the same thinking process:
Jesus was a man
Jesus was the Messiah
Therefore, all men are messiahs.
---StrongAxe on 6/24/11|
Trish - I beg to differ and so does the Bible. The man with the legion of demons in the Bible also cut himself with stones (Mark 5:1-20). Anyone that cuts has demons in them attacking them.
---Leslie on 6/23/11|
Leslie, I used to cut, and it had nothing to do with demons. Depression has nothing to do with demons as well. Cutting is an acting out behavior that is a symptom of a complex mental health issue, and has nothing to do with demons. I wish people would get a clue, and stop blaming every mental health issue on demons.
---Trish on 6/22/11|
Go get her a deliverance. This is related to demons and depression.
---Leslie on 6/22/11|
I am 17... And i cut. I know the thing that would help you daughter most is tell her " i am here for you, if you want to talk im here, always" i wish my parents would have told me that... I know itll help. Emotional cutting is something hard to stop, ive tried many times, and failed, ive had two major scares with going to deep... I relalized i will die from this if i dont stop. So im seeing a counciler. The things that help most for cutters is just to let them know your there, that you want to help, you want to listen. NEVER YELL AT THEM FOR IT! It does 10 times more damage. You cant help someone if they dont want to be helped. Give her time and assurance of your love. And youll have your daughter back. :)
---ben on 6/20/11|
I use to cut, and you're NOT doing her ANY good if you're forcing her into counsling. Anger and misunderstandmet leads to cutting again. It's not an easy thing to do, and you can't make that decision for her. You have to let her stop herself. It's all in HER. Honestly, having friends there for me helped more than my parents. Anyways, remember that you can NEVER understand. It's a confusing concept. Try SUGGESTING The Butterfly Project- it didn't help me, but it helped a lot of other cutters. You draw a butterfly on the place(s) you cut, and you can't cut until it fades away. The idea is that if you don't cut, the butterfly lives and flies away. But if you do, it dies and you have to start over. Just know that you CAN'T control the situation.
---YouCanTrustMe. on 6/13/11|
i'm a cutter, burner, and i'm a teen. i'm in therapy and it doesn't help. i know what she's going through seeing as i do it too. i would try to talk to her, if it doesn't work than i would keep trying to send her to therapy. if you need someone to talk to her that gets it, have her sign up for a blog or support group. i'm part of 5 and they help more than my parents do. i hope this helps you.
---cat on 7/23/10|
Cutting is not a phase, stupid or not. Cutters do not have healthy coping skills, and use the cutting to help deal with intense emotions. It becomes addictive, just like drinking, or drugs, or bingeing on sugar. Cutters need help, and should get it. A licensed therapist is qualified to help cutters.
---Trish9863 on 7/5/10|
Oh my gosh--"just a stupid phase"?! Say that when the poor girl dies from cutting!
---Mary on 7/5/10|
This is just a guess, but she may be doing this to spite you when she gets mad at you, or she may even be doing it because she has let herself down on something.. Maybe if you put her interest in something like music, dance or teen drama..most churches and schools, or even communities offers this. I would ask her how she would feel about doing any of these things.
---a_friend on 7/5/10|
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She'll get over it by herself, its just a stupid phase, relax.
---john_smith on 7/4/10|
i cut myself once before. the feeling is really something its like a natural high.i still have the scars. talk to your daughter and let her know how much you love her.give her attention.she maybe does it to get your attention.do not let her be another statistic.give her your support
---sohail on 4/15/10|
thank-you for sharing.It's so hard sometimes getting to that moment when my teen will tell me what's going on.I know for a fact God loves us.At this point-it is the one position where me and my teen-you and your parents-are just children.
We are the Fathers kids-He loves us.
Any advise on how to get my son to talk.When he does-it's about God-yet-at times-I am aware he is doing things that concern me.
Again-thanks for sharing-Father loves us kids.By faith I believe that day will come when the presence of our father will be evident-your cutting will stop.Its different doing things when you're aware He is right there-that moment-just not seen.
God bless you.
---char on 4/2/10|
I am not sure how old this blog is but I am a teen cutter. You might be wanting to get this by an adult. I cut because I feel like nobody cares, and I am all alone. Im sure you try to support your daughter in every way you can but maybe you should talk to her about otherstuff, herself. Anything, I dont like talking about my cutting to my parent's but if they would just really want to know what I am feeling, I think it'd help. Maybe I am wrong though, because my parent's aren't the cause of it.
---Kassie on 3/6/10|
From what I understand, and it is somewhat verified by teens who cut themselves, it is an out ward expression of inner pain that they cannot explain or express otherwise. It is turning emotional injury into a physical injury in an attempt to deal with it. Thus "cutting" provides a measure of relief from the psychic pain.
I'm wondering if your daughter is afraid to be without the relief cutting provides. Encourage her to continue conseling because if she is able to VERBALIZE her pain, she may find some real solutions. It is very common for people in conseling to reach a point of resistance just before a breakthrough.
---Donna66 on 11/5/09|
I never cut, but I did grow up experiencing 51 years of suicidal depression.
To a pure/contrite hearted child of innocence, this world that is full of corruption is a very uncomfortable place (a pure hearted child will find no comfort here and will LAMENT....be sad/depressed "poor in spirit").
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"...(in time, God will teach them to have an inner heaven, John 12:25).
Even on other forums, nobody knows why they cut. I can only guess that it is a subconscious protest against this world of corruption because innocent children are closer to (more accustomed to) God's way of life (peace).
Verses are from RSV.
---more_excellent_way on 11/4/09|
hi to tell you the truth it can be really hard. i was a teen cutter and when my dad talked to me i wasnt ready he told me he cared and knew and when i was ready he would help.so my advice is tell her u care and when shes ready u will help.
---hannah on 11/2/09|
I am too a cutter....its hard to stop once u'v started....i'v tryed.....i don't understand y i do it so there for i can't explain to anyone else y i do it....i just cut today....i feel better but that dosn't make the ppl around me feel anybetter!
---Jessica_Jarrett on 10/3/09|
Hi, i'm sixteen and i cut myself too. maybe what your daughter is thinking is that even if she does make progress she's scared of falling back into cutting, that's what happened to me just tell her that you'll always be there for her no matter what and then follow through on your word.
---Meirah on 3/18/08|
To be completely honest I am a cutter too.
Your daughter won't get better until she decides she's ready.Therapy doesn't help, trust me. You probably shouldn't talk to her about it either it might make her uncomfortable. Really the only thing you can do is give her a lot of positive attention.
---jenna on 3/8/08|
I'm also a cutter. This happens when problems are greater than coping skills. It sounds like you're being a good mom and giving her resources. Even though I have many (incl. therapy), I sometimes feel pain that's bigger than them. Please try to be non-judgmental and see it from this perspective. Some people go shopping when they are stressed, others eat. Some of us cut. You can't force your daughter out of this, but you can listen when she's ready to talk and offer (not force) healthier ways of coping.
---Girl on 3/4/08|
my name is anne and i am a cutter and have been for over a year now. Your daughter is not going to get better until she wants to, you and her therapist even her friends can't make her stop. I finally realized this week that we may cut about curtain problems in are lives but this addiction itself can only be stop by her control over it.
i wish you luck.
---anne on 1/30/08|
Oh, how I despise the Devil.
---catherine on 1/29/08|
i will be honest i am also a cutter but it is something i regret i have to say it is an addiction but i go 2 therapy for it and i hate talking 2 a stranger about my problems i wouldnt start cutting if i felt like what i have 2 say matters and that i am loved and not some person who gets ignored and unimportant i'm just saying that listen 2 what she has 2 say and if she seems depressed just talk 2 her. i hope what i said will help. and dont worry i have my step sister helping me. u can help ur daughter
---kelsy on 1/27/08|
If she made progress then there was a willingness in her soul.
Leading me only to one conclusion; the devil has set up a fortress in her mind.
This might sound strange but YOU NEED to devote yourself entirely to God.
Stop watching the TV at night, and DEVOTE every waking minute to prayer, learning the word and yes I'd even fast (until the resolution comes) in this case.
You are going to need to see spiritually if you want to battle this.
Your daughter's life may be at stake.
---Pharisee on 1/13/08|
Any time you have a child that continues to cut themselves,you can take it as a sign for some serious inner fears and hurts. I don't know where you get too in the counseling but she needs to be in a place where she can freely speak about what is going on. Usually, this is a sign of some deep emotional hurts that require pain to make a person feel better about what is going on. Encourage her and listen to her and you and her go to therapy together. I will be in much prayer about this.
---Brenda on 3/10/07|
I too have a daughter who is a cutter.I turned to her public school for help. That got me nowhere.I took it in to GOD to show me how to help her.We started every night asking how did you day go. For weeks she would not talk.Oneday she came to me crying little did I know she had been raped in Oct. this was April when she told me.Their is something hurting her so bad. Just keep the faith and just keep a open mind .She will open up when she feels she can.
---Teresa on 3/10/07|
Two things to try and resolve.
1. What is making her feel badly
2. Why does she cut when she feels bad.
You can not really solve the problem if you do not know what is causing it.
---Hellena on 2/21/07|
try not to make your daughter feel as if you are pressurising her to stop, if anything, this will have the opposite to the desired effect. instead of dictating to her what she 'must' do, ask her to come to you when she feels the need to cut, and be with her in her time of need. give her reasons to stop her destuctive behaviour, but most of all, make sure she realizes just how much you love her and are there for her. good luck!
---sophie on 2/13/07|
I worked with a lot of children that self harm, they seem to feel that they hate themselves and that no one cares for them. This is a commom thing in teens of this nature. Generally here parents get it wrong by thinking if I give a child gifts instead of love and devotion or a parent neglects the child and abandon them. Divorce, Or a child is going through peergroup pressure, exams, or even a bad relationships. you will have to work out what it is with your child.
---Carla5754 on 8/1/06|
Have you sought advice from your church?
---Thomas on 6/1/06|
tough love is the hardest thing a parent can do. my son was a drug abuser for most of his teen years and 2 years of rehab was agony for me Make her GO or commit her because the cutting will only escalate this will not go away unless the real issues are dealt with.. Wendy there is hope pray with her and for her ask Jesus to give her peace and when she gets out of control sing Praises to GOD.
contact me at mike3966 and we can talk more
---willow on 6/1/06|
There is something deep going on inside of her, and it is probably blocking her from moving forward in therapy. Prayer for her will help tremedously. Stormie O'Martian has a great book about praying for kids "The Power of a Praying Parent."
Most importantly, love her unconditionally, as Christ loves her. Show her that more than anything in the world. Cutters are angry about something and feel unloveable. They are directing their deep seated anger at themselves through the blade.
---Madison1101 on 5/31/06|
Mark 5:2-5 And when he was come out of the ship,immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, 5:5 And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones. :9 And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. A solid Bible believing church is highly recomended.
---BoDilly on 5/31/06|
Get you and your family into a bible beleiving church. accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour-He is the only one who can heal-anything else is worthless. Seek council from elders in your church and heavy duty prayer! i will pray for you!
---michelle on 5/31/06|