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Am I Scared Or Anxious

I've been dating a guy for a year. We've recently been talking about marriage. I was divorced shortly before meeting him due to my ex cheating. I love him and I can see myself with him long term, but I'm not sure if i'm scared or if I'm just not ready because the thought of it makes me anxious?

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 ---Lindsey on 7/24/06
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I feel you have got close to this guy too soon after your divorce. Did youi ever get used to the idea of being "single" again? Maybe you are rushing too quickly inot another relationship. When you say long term, do you mean a lot of years, or for ever?
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/31/08

Divorce Quiz

25. A divorced Christian due to their spouse committing adultery can marry another Christian.

The correct answer is True.

Matthew 19:8-9 - He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
---Dottie on 5/24/07

Dating, Marriage & Divorce Quiz
(25 Questions)

24. When two nonbelievers divorce and one becomes a Christian, the Christian may never remarry.

The correct answer is False.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

---Dottie on 5/24/07

Dating, Marriage & Divorce Quiz

10. A separated Christian may date other Christians while they wait for the final divorce papers.

The correct answer is False.

Matthew 5:31-32 - It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement; But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
---Dottie on 5/24/07

Dating, Marriage & Divorce Quiz

16. It is better to forgive your spouse for adultery than to divorce.

The correct answer is True.

Matthew 19:8-9 - He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
---Dottie on 5/24/07

I was in the same boat as you are now 8 years ago. but my husband (now) was going through a divorce and I had already went through mine. And I admit that we were dating before his divorce was final. I was scared to take a chance again, but yet I was also scared of not taking a chance. So wasn't he. I am so glad I took that chance. Besides God he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are the best of friends. I'm glad I listened to my heart.
---Rebecca_D on 5/12/07

Regardless of rather you are scared or anxious, my advice is to back off from getting married for at least 2 years. You are probably still on the re-bound. It's normal for a person to be a little of either, in a first marriage - but in a second marriage you still thinking of what went wrong, you need time.
---WIVV on 9/4/06

Literal interpretation of the bible: you are not allowed to remarry, period. Otherwise each day you are remarried you are a sinner, plain and simple.

If you do not believe this, then you do not have a literal belief in the bible, and then you must question EVERYTHING to date you have learned.

teach love
---frank_cos on 7/26/06

You may truly love him and feel you can spend the rest of your life with him, butYou fear that what happened in your last relationship can happen again which is understandable. You have to ask God to help you let go of the past. Pray for guidance
---tonya3849 on 7/26/06

Shannon, does the truth really scare you that much? It's all according to your level of conviction. I'm convicted that Jesus said what he meant. You can divorce for reason of adultery, but Jesus didn't say you can remarry if adultery was the reason for your divorce. Moses did give a certificate, but Jesus said: From the beginning it was not so. I'm more scared of Dottie who condemned me to pieces and she was incorrect in her interpretation. Now THAT scares me.
---Donna9759 on 7/26/06

The Lord doesn't wont women to be door mats either
---Betty on 7/26/06

Didn't she say her husband cheated on her so that is Adultry I didn't read that she was a christain.You need to talk to a minster and let him advice you.
---Betty2 on 7/26/06

Donna: So,let me ask you this: My exhusband left me and remarried. Am I doomed to being single for the rest of my life? The way you make it sound, that is my lot. My ex is remarried, against God's will. He divorced, against God's will. I stayed obedient till my ex remarried. What is my future? I believe I am free to remarry. Do you disagree with this?
---Madison1101 on 7/25/06

Matthew 19:8-9 8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Honey, be careful that the man is a Christian. Sometimes fear is a clue. Find out what that clue is trying to tell you before you make any decisions that can change your life...
---Amy9384 on 7/25/06

donna9759 you are scaring me. Dottie without being spooky, God honors the covenant between a man and woman. Dottie in my personal opinion I believe you are scared that being married again could possible end up like the last marriage. if the two of you are not equally yoked meaning if you are saved and your boyfriend is not saved, i would not recommend marriage.
---Shannon on 7/25/06

My (ex) husband and I got a divorce and so didn't my (now) husband got a divorce. So I know that God forgave us from divorcing our spouses. Donna what would you do if your husband beat you and was really mean to you? Would you stay because the bible says so, or would you try and save your life and leave?
---Rebecca_D on 7/25/06

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Dottie -

If you believe in the word, then you already know you cannot remarry without commiting a sinful act in the name of the lord for as long as you are remarried. It would be a sinful act.
---frank_cos on 7/25/06

Sara and Rebecca D, I was in a marriage where my husband was abusing me. I cried out to Father, and Father had him removed by the police and arrested. I filed for divorce, but every man I've dated, the Lord has blocked me from marrying. When I sought Father as to WHY this was happening, that's when Father showed me the scriptures on being considered an adulteress. I am convicted and believe I understand what Jesus said about remarrying if you are a divorced person. It's just my level of conviction.
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

Bruce, I love your love for the word. THANK YOU SOOO very much for clarifying that truth. You are such a dear brother in the Lord. God Bless you mightily.
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

Dottie, your accusation alone proves how some of the Body of Christ interprets the word their own way so they can remarry. That's exactly what Jesus said would happen. YES, you can divorce for reason of adultery, but Jesus NEVER EVER said you can re-marry if you divorce for adultery, he said you'd be considered an adulteress woman if you re-marry. I showed you the scripture and you still accuse me, HA!!!! geezey wheezy Lord Have Mercy on Us.
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

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This is EXACTLY what grieves the Heart of God and His Holy Spirit. People TWIST scripture. Here is the TRUTH: God says in Malachi, I hate divorce. Jesus did say you can divorce for reason of Adultery, but Jesus did NOT say, you can re-marry if you divorced your spouse for reason of adultery. That's where the Body of Christ gets confused. Paul even said, "she is to remain single." Let's not twist the words of Jesus, amen?
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO.
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

Dottie, I forgive you. Because Jesus said that what Moses allowed, it was NOT THAT WAY IN THE BEGINNING...I'll give you the scripture reference. Why would you AUTOMATICALLY criticize me without asking Father God the TRUTH? YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH CHRISTIANITY TODAY! Jesus said, "Moses allowed a certificate of divorce, but it was NOT SO in the BEGINNING." READ YOUR BIBLE.
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

What if your spouse is abusive? Can you divorce him then...and be happy with someone else?
---Sara on 7/25/06

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Donna; read Deu 24:1-4, Mt 19:9, Mk 10:2-4, so a person can get a divorce if there is fornication involved. Lindsey has stated her (ex) husband had cheated on her, that is why they are divorced. I guess if you were in a marriage that the husband was abusing you physically, you would stay with him? If you have never been faced with this situation, you don't know what you would do.
---Rebecca_D on 7/25/06

If we have a personal relationship with the Lord,we will know if He wants us to re-marry. I've seen wonderful re-marriages of christians, and some disasterous. If your divorce was on biblical grounds, and your x has remarried, then they are, as well as the marriage itself, dead to you. Only the Lord can answer for each person. We shouldn't take our answer and apply it to everyone. That's God's business. We should know if we are in His will or not. I believe that is the secret to this question.
---kathr4453 on 7/25/06

Just to be clear, Moses allowed divorce "because of the hardness of thier hearts" (toward God's will - God hates divorce Mal 2:16.) Matt 19:8

The fact that one is divorced and has been forgiven for that divorce does not change the fact they have a mate. They may be divorced (a civil proceding) but they are still one flesh with that person untill one of them dies. This fact is unchanged by forgivness of the divorce or what ever caused it.
---Bruce5656 on 7/25/06

Donna, you are what is wrong with Christianity today. Moses allowed divorce on the ground of the spouse committing adultery. If you remember the scriptures, then you know that if you bring your sin to the LORD and ask for forgiveness, and repent of your sins He "will" forgive. God will forgive, but unchristian Christians keep on judging when God has thrown your sins as far as east is from west.
---Dottie on 7/25/06

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Paul says this: 1Corinthians 7:10 To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) --and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
Whether or not you're divorced, you shouldn't remarry until your first husband isn't on this earth anylonger. That's what Paul is saying, not me, but Paul. Do we not obey the word anymore? Lord, have mercy on us!!
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

Doesn't anybody believe the word and ACT upon it and follow Jesus's words?
Mark 10:11 - And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her;
Mark 10:12 - and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
Luke 16:18 - "Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
---Donna9759 on 7/25/06

The Lord will guide you in your decision making.
It is good to be in tune to your feelings. Open communication is very important in relationships. Share your feelings openly with your friend, If he is as sincere a man as you believe him to be, he will understand and give you the time/space you need to make decisions you are sure of.
I pray for your happiness ...,
---lynet on 7/24/06

It was recommended to me that I not date soon after my divorce. I waited till my ex remarried three years after we divorced. After a few months of dating, I did the anxiety thing and called off all relationships. That was two years ago. I am so glad I did. The Lord has been teaching me and healing me in ways I could not imagine.
---Madison1101 on 7/24/06

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There are many reasons you could be anxious, and I'd be foolish to assume I know why. All I can say is wait on the Lord. Seek his face, ask him what his plan is for you. And don't move until God stirs you. It could be you have some issues you haven't dealt with yet, ones that only God can heal. Press in and cling to him and his word. He will be your refuge.
---Katie on 7/24/06

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