ChristiaNet MallWorld's Largest Christian MallChristian BlogsFree Bible QuizzesFree Ecards and Free Greeting CardsLoans, Debt, Business and Insurance Articles

Who's Head Of The Household

My husband is unsaved. How do I treat him as the "spiritual head of household" when he is not able to take on that role yet? I am raising my children in church, so if he says or does something that does not agree with my values then I cannot defer to him. Is this scripturally OK?

Join Our Christian Chat and Take The Leadership Bible Quiz
 ---melissa on 7/26/06
     Helpful Blog Vote (17)

Reply to this BlogPost a New Blog

I know many men(not in a church) who are married to women who are. The wives make an endless parade of the agony of the unsaved spouse. When if they would still their tongue and listen to him they would find he has a better understanding of God than they. But they won't be quiet long enough to hear. The man refuses to belittle their wives so keep silent.
---dan on 4/5/08

Deb, I hope not. However, I know several Christian women, married to Christian men, who are simpering idiots. They know in their hearts that their husbands are often wrong but will never say so to them or to anyone else. This makes Christians look foolish to the 'outside world'. Some of these women will never disagree with their adult sons either because they have been brainwashed into believing that woman are to be submissive to men - even their sons.
---RitaH on 4/4/08

I agree with robyn and rebecca. The bible says to submit to your husband as unto the Lord. As unto the Lord is the key. That is what makes it possible. Don't stop going to church, you need the fellowship of other believers. You don't need to agree with what goes against your values but you can be respectful and not challenge him in front of the children.
---melann on 4/4/08

How does one 'submit'? Blindly? If a woman questions what her husband decides, is she guilty of sin? What commandment dictates 'the submission of the wife'???

---deb on 4/3/08

First. You are going to have to live with the consequences of your decision to marry an unsaved man. He is still your spouse. Submit to him.This is pleasing to God. Unless he tries to separate you and your kids from God.For instance:forbidding you to go to church,pray the home. I could not put up with that,personally.
---Robyn on 4/3/08

The spiritual head of the Household is "God" The unseen guest at every act every conversation.When in doubt His word is LAW.He nourishes Guides advises if you really seek Him.
---Emcee on 4/2/08

If the woman is saved and her husband is not, she still has to be submissive to him. He is still head of the household. It is all about respect. And respect goes both ways. The unsaved husband should have enough respect for the wife as being a Christian and the wife shouldn't push her husband into going to church or turning their life around, vice versa.
---Rebecca_D on 4/1/08

Jesus told us we were to serve each other. How much more should a wife serve her husband as long as it is not forbidden in the Bible. By obeying him, you will prove your love, and he will then be more tolerant of your Christianity and might be won around to it.
---frances008 on 4/1/08

If you are a Christian and your husband is not, then it is up to you to be the leader. Leading from the back as it were. Training in prayers, attitudes, knowledge, skills. I hope your church is a good one. You need a lot of spiritual support in this case. But you can still raise them Christian without attending every single Sunday. Just make sure you go regularly ( even if it is only once a month.)
---frances008 on 4/1/08

Sometimes you have to be a good wife first so as to win him over. That will mean coming to some agreed compromise. Not the same as compromising God's Word. But if you read the Bible and know your Word, then you should be free to do what is good for your whole family.
---frances008 on 4/1/08

Your childrens spiritual well being is your first concern.You are a MATE not a servant.He should guide with wisdom that is Gods law.Use your womanly wisdom to win him around.But dont Force the issue.
---Emcee on 4/1/08

Married people are told to submit one to another -- mutual co-operation. Do not submit to a heathen but love him and set a good example. God is the head of the church and your head too. You are responsible to the Lord for your own behavior and your childrens - bring them up in the Lord and not in what your husband does
---Andrea on 4/1/08

Well said John. Honor and respect your husband, and submit to him as much as possible. But do not disobey the Lord in order to obey man.
---Katie on 4/1/08

Your spiritual head is Christ. Your husband is the head which makes him the responsible leader. Your instruction in l Peter 3 is clear to win him by your example. Obey God before man. If it's just about personal values then try to keep peace the best you can. We all deal with those. God doesn't require you to sin in order to obey your husband.
---john on 5/7/07

Toby's right. Keep your patience. Continue to submit to your husband. If he is unrighteous, then he is accountable, but your conscience is clean by not abandoning submission. Rebellion never works.

---Reiter on 11/16/06

Love your husband/agree w/him unless he stricly goes against Jesus, mocks him or endangers their salvation. God gave U souls your children U will give account for that. U must love Jesus 1st. Tech. he is not the spiritual" head since he is not saved. He is head of the house in all other areas but he doesnt understand the spirit so how can he lead that? Honor him,love him make sure the kids love him and pray for his salvation so he can be the "head" in all ways even spiritual. Take heart!
---Jeanne on 11/15/06

Read These Insightful Articles About Diabetes

melissa, you say your husband is unsaved yet he attends activities, reads scripture, feels a calling. Please bear your fruit of patience. Our Father works in mysterious ways. Nohe's not the spiritual head Yahushua is. But he's the physical head, life plans etc should be discussed in love, and the ultimate decision is his and this you should submit to, however, understand Yahushua holds HIM accountable for the decision. Read Mat6:33 to know who comes first.
---Toby on 11/15/06

If you're a Woman, Submission should be Natural. If you are Man, just Lead. Am I the only one feeling this? If man follows me, I think it's funny...

---Reiter on 11/14/06

greetings.for melissa .if the spirit of the lord is upon you to maintain direction,then are you equipt with courageous faith?.the blind cannot physically lead one down the narrow path of life eternal without stumbling.with your eyes wide open, what do you see in your children's future without your leadership?
---earl on 11/3/06

No, Melissa, not submitting to your husband is scripturally wrong. He is the spiritual head of your household is a different sense from the head of your relationship with God. The bible says submit to authority, not submit to authority if the person in authority is saved. Submit FIRST to God, and then to your husband. (Don't deceive yourself, you know the difference)
---Okebaram on 11/1/06

Read These Insightful Articles About Depression

What good is the head [man] without the neck [woman]...when it is the neck that does the Turning and the neck influences the head one way or another

---Reiter on 11/1/06

1 Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

The Spirit is saying that a wife can win her husband to God, as he watches her humble, reverential conversation with God.
---a_servant on 7/30/06

1 Cor 11:3 . . . the head of the woman is the man . . .

1 Cor 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife . . .
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband . . .

Husbands are heads because of God's command, not because they are worthy or skilled. You must trust God with this, as you must with everything else.
---a_servant on 7/30/06

There are many people who have been in church for years who are not saved. Your husband sounds like he is ready to accept Jesus Christ as Savior. Encourage him!
---Susie on 7/27/06

Post Your Online Prayer Requests

Tracy - I was saved for one year before we married. My husband attends church with us, including church events like sings, dinners, picnics etc., but is still unsaved. He has been reading the Bible and often says that he feels God is calling him to repentance. Please join me in praying for him to make that choice!
---melissa on 7/27/06

Were you saved before you got married to him?
---tracy on 7/26/06

Copyright© 2017 ChristiaNet®. All Rights Reserved.