Leaving But Still Sleeping
My husband says he is leaving me to move back to his home state. He has a date and has packed most of his boxes. I have cried, pleaded and let him know that I am not in agreement with this, plus I have done nothing Biblically wrong. Am I obligated to still "sleep" with him?
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---A_loving_wife. on 7/27/06
Helpful Blog Vote (8)
No you are not obligated to do that and if he expects you to it leaves the question, why is he leaving anyway. This is a very puzzling situation. Has he given you no explanation why he is leaving or what you are supposed to have done that makes him want to leave you? You deserve answers from him.
---emg on 7/4/07|
I'd be sleeping on the sofa by now!
---Susie on 7/28/06|
If he says he's leaving and your not in the equasion no amount of sleeping with him will bring him back. Sound like he wants his cake and is eating it. I think there is someone else in the picture and he is happy to play you untill he moves in with her, a familiar story to my previous Xboyfriend.
---Carla5754 on 7/28/06|
2. This way if he insists on leaving, you'll have time to reevaluate the relationship. Write letters rather than talk, and really examine what one another has to say.
Marriages are not unbreakable, the good part is they can be restored, if both parties really want the same thing.
Do something different, try reasoning without blame, judgement or ultimatums. (I don't suggest there have been either)
Examine your selves, and draw closer to the Lord. He will bring you to the conclusion He desires.
---lynet on 7/27/06|
If sleeping with him causes you more pain and makes you feel like you are being used, don't do it. I believe you should go to the word Of God on this one.
There are issues that are your personal business going on here. No one just walks away. If your husband has not been open with you about his feelings he should open up, and tell you what's on his heart before he leaves.
Perhaps you could ask him to delay the divorce for a while.
---lynet on 7/27/06|
He is a real ******** if he is going to divorce you, but still expects you to sleep with him.
By ******** I mean he is the worst kind of slime-ball... there is no real printable word to call him.
---alan8869_of_UK on 7/27/06|
I have asked for counseling and to talk to the pastor but he refuses. He says we don't get along, that we argue all the time. I tell him that many couples go through this and remind him of the reasons why we argue. I love my husband and don't want to lose him, but he says he is going to divorce me anyway. Yes I am hurting and yes their are bigger issues then the "sleeping together". Thanks for all your concerns.
---A_loving_wife. on 7/27/06|
NO if he is leaving you, then you are apart. You don't have to sleep with him.
---tonya3849 on 7/27/06|
Of course you aren't obligated to sleep with him! But...why not pack up and go with him? Is this an option?
---Katie on 7/27/06|
Are you refusing to move with him? If so, you need to rethink your decision. Have you offered to move with him?
---Susie on 7/27/06|
NO, NO, NO, Please do not do this to yourself. If he has made his decision to leave you, then you are not expected to "do your wifely duties" as they say. You will not be doing this as a wife, but just a woman he is using. Remember love is very important and if he still loved you, he would not be able to just walk away from you. Does he consider himself a Christian?
---Dottie on 7/27/06|
I would say "no" you are not obligated to sleep with him when he is leaving you. You are not a toy.
---Helen_5378 on 7/27/06|
I don't think so. If he doesn't want to be married to you, why would he use you physically? That really would be using you. Just say no. If he forces you, that is called rape - even if he is your husband. All you can do now is pray that God will change his heart to save your marriage. You are not the one who wants to leave the relationship right? Have you suggested counseling?
---melissa on 7/27/06|
What a question to ask. Why not ask, what can I do? Should I be fasting and praying? Should I be calling our Pastor and asking for counselling? Sex should be the least important issue right now. That's really up to you, it's a personal matter between you and your husband. Aren't you hurting right now? Why not try to seek comfort in the Lord and ask a Pastor to help you?
---Donna9759 on 7/27/06|