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My Wife Tricked Me Into Marriage

My wife admitted falsifying her beliefs prior to marriage. She has made me aware that she is an atheist and has never believed. I wanted an equally yoked wife. She wants to stay but I want out! Please help me put out/up with my flaming atheist!

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 ---Chris on 7/29/06
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When you post on a topic on this site, it's a good idea to look at the date of the posts you're replying to. The previous posts on this topic were from 4 years ago, and the people who posted here then are long gone: micha9344 hasn't posted on this site in over a year (August 2017), and sin5694 hasn't posted anything in almost 4 years. The original post by Chris was from 2006.
---StrongAxe on 10/29/18

Second quote from Adventist Home. Same situation, just with an unbelieving husband.

You have trials, I know, but there is such a thing as showing a spirit of driving rather than of drawing. Your husband needs each day to see a living example of patience and self-control. Make every effort to please him, and yet do not yield up one principle of the truth. Christ requires the whole being in His serviceheart, soul, mind, and strength. As you give Him what He asks of you, you will represent Him in character. Let your husband see the Holy Spirit working in you. Be careful and considerate, patient and forbearing. Do not urge the truth upon him.
---Christian_Sister on 10/29/18

Brother, God knows your pain. He had an unbelieving spouse in Israel many times. Yet He loved her still until she played the harlot. Only fornication, not adultery, is an acceptable reason for divorce.

Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
---Christian_Sister on 10/29/18

Heb 12:3-4 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.
1Pe 1:6-7 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
-The hell your going thru now is nothing compared to the hell your spouse will go thru if they die in unbelief.
-Sad, but this is the only heaven an unbeliever has.
---micha9344 on 11/14/14

My wife tricked me into marriage as well. In fact, I do not know that ours is a valid marriage as under Philippine Law, 5 weeks of intensive pre-marriage counseling is required, but her family was false about this too to press me into marriage my first visit. Similarily, Jacob was tricked into marriage and received a woman other than promised. (Genesis 29) I hate life every day because of marriage. I have lost millions. My wife is a tyrannt. I spent a day in jail for the first time I held her in self-defense, and seven months I did not see my kids. Prayer has not done any good. Pastors have not helped. Divorce her. You'll be happier. I'm a fool staying in a wicked marriage. I should have divorced long ago. There is no happiness.
---sin5694 on 11/12/14

I met my wife at a christian website. She has been a gift from the Devil. Do not assume because you meet on a christian site that the outcome will be any better.
---sin on 11/12/14

It is very important to pray for God's guidance on one's choice of whoever we are considering to marry.
From a couples-issues program on radio in Lagos, we have heard many ladies saying, "I only want a change of environment, I wanted to quit my father/uncle's house by all means, that is why I grabbed him then" but now I'm not feeling good living with him anymore.
There could also be a flimsy reason some men would choose a lady as well.
---Adetunji on 11/12/14

my story is infinitely worse. my wife tricked me into marrying her pretended to be a christian went out evangelizing presented the gospel to people but she is a satanist. i dont trust anybody ever. Ive been.through suicide attempts as a christian. this woman is a merciless sociopath. I have prayed and fasted 70 days I have not seen any change in the circumstances. if anybody has any encouragement please let me know.
---mario on 11/10/14

I sense, perhaps you fell in love with this woman,married her, even though unequally yoked! Now those same feelings are no longer there, and you are seeking a way out of marriage with justification!

Have you shared with her these thoughts and feelings?
---buddy on 2/3/09

Rhonda where do you get the idea that its ok to divorce if your spouse "deceives or lies about themselves"?
Adultery is the only Biblical reason for divorce according to Christ.
Ryan's response was correct:
"But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her...for how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" 1 Cor 7:12,16
---Todd1 on 6/13/08

Divorce is allowed when a spouse cheats or deceives and lies about themselves to their potential spouse

your marriage is a fraud

Divorce move on and find a women with whom you may be equally yoked
---Rhonda on 6/12/08

i know what you are going thur keep praying god will break thur
---jack on 6/10/08

If you loved and knew someone well enough to marry them....would you not have seen signs of their untruths? What part did you play in this?
---Annie on 4/23/07

Friend, God brought her into your life for a purpose. If she wants to stay, then I gather God wants you to bring her into Christ. Tell her what you know of the Bible..Sew the seed and the Holy Spirit does the rest. Dont push her out..ask God for guidance.
---jana on 4/23/07

Chris- Read I Corinthians 7 for your answer. If your wife is an unbeliever and wishes to stay, you must not divorce her. Her lie is unfortunate and a horrible way to begin a marriage, I agree. If you are a Christian you will forgive her and love her as you are one flesh by marriage. Your love, forgiveness and compassion in this situation will be a testimony to the awesome power of God. Remember: I Corinthians 7
---Ryan on 4/22/07

, get an annulment. your wife lied about a very essential part of who she is, so the marriage is not valid at all.
---steve on 9/12/06

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Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah. Though he also later married Rachel, the fact remains that he never left Leah. Marriage is intended for life and there's no out clause for this kind of deceit. Sorry. Trust God though, as He is more than able to take a bad situation and turn it into something good. Pray for your wife's true salvation and, in the meantime, perform your duties as a husband, loving her as Christ loves the church.
---AlwaysOn on 9/7/06

I don't believe that your wife went out her way just to trick you into marrying her for the pain of it. You genuinely fell in love and did't wait for her testimony and to see her grow as a christian, that was your own unwise choice, now you want a op out clause.Sorry put in the same ground work it took to marry her. Learn how to love your wife instead of blaming her, you may be able to WIN her through your faithfulness to her/God. Try to love your neighbour(wife) the same as YOURSELF.
---Carla5754 on 8/1/06

I will be praying for you. I would think that the scripture would apply if you were aware of the fact that the person you married was not a believer prior to a marriage, deception is a different matter.
If you love your wife and are willing to work with her towards her becoming a believer, the Lord will honor that.
If you feel you can't live with this lie, you may want to consult your Pastor concerning your feelings.
---lynet on 7/31/06

I am in the exact same situation with my spouse only I am the wife. The first question I asked him was "Are you saved?" I went one step further and asked if he had been baptized, prayed, read the Word and had a good relationship with Christ. He answered "yes" to everything! But Madison makes an EXCELLENT point when she asks "Were the fruits there?" I'd have to say, in my situation, NO! So I can't blame anyone but myself.
---Crystal on 7/31/06

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I stated in a recent blog that my unsaved husband feels he is under conviction. However, he is now resisting that call by arguing more often, using bad language more often, being more inconsiderate etc. Clearly, he is being convicted and satan's lies are taking hold. Maybe your wife is under similar conviction and is now questioning her prior beliefs.
---melissa on 7/31/06

Based on 1 Corinthians 7:13, you have no choice but to let her stay. If she wants to leave, she can, but you can't leave her.
---wivv on 7/30/06

One thing I wonder about is this a sudden change in her, perhaps a reaction to something you have done to her?

From what you say, she seems to be trying to hit you in a place that is most vulnerable, common faith.

You do need to get to the bottom of this, and you only show your side, making her the wrong one. GET INTO COUNSELING
---John_T on 7/29/06

I disagree with the others here. I believe you are not obligated to stay in the marriage since it was entered into under deceptive circumstances. Marriage is a holy state, and I don't think Christ expects us to be obligated to honor a marriage that we're tricked into by someone pretending to be something they're not. JMHO

What really baffles me, though, is how you didn't realize beforehand that she wasn't a Christian. :o
---augusta on 7/29/06

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Find out the laws in your State pertaining to fraudulent marriage. It may be that you aren't really married or can have it annuled because she used fradulent methods to get you to marry her and without that fraud you would not have married her. Pray for God to lead you to what you need to do, and to the person who can help you know your rights in this situation. She isn't who thought you married, for without belief in God she is an empty vessel that only God can fill.
---Darlene_1 on 7/29/06

1 Corinthians 7:13, "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."

Exchange the place of husband and woman in the above verse for your answer.
---Bruce5656 on 7/29/06

You are in a tough situation. Was there any fruit for you to believe she was a Christian prior to your marriage?

In any case, scripture does not give you an out to your marriage, unless she commits adultery. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

The good news is, prayer can change things, including her heart. Bathe your marriage in prayer, especially pray for her salvation. God can do that.
---Madison1101 on 7/29/06

Well, according to St. Paul, only if the unbeliving spouse is willing to separate is the Christian free to enter into a new marriage.

Of course, there is the issue of being defrauded before the marriage.
---Jack on 7/29/06

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