Husband Shows Up With Child
My husband wanted a divorce and moved out of the house, but he never filed for divorce. We lived apart for two years. Five years later a woman shows up with his child. Do I divorce him due to his adultry? It would be devasting for our daughter now 10 years old.
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---Mary on 9/5/06
Helpful Blog Vote (9)
I know you are limited by the number of words you can use in a question. I think all of us need more information in order to offer any sound advice at all. Can you elaborate a bit more?
---Crystal on 6/16/08|
You have the right to divorce but it's not God's will. God has the right to punish us too doesn't he? You've lived apart before and I wonder if this may be good again until you can work through this. You didn't mention if there is repentance on his part. Also, is the woman telling the truth?
You are correct in considering your daughters feeling in this.
---john on 4/22/07|
Make him pay child support.
---Jay on 4/22/07|
Adultery is grounds for divorce. If he repents, he can be forgiven and restored, but if he does not then he is in sin. You can explain to your daughter about how the marriage union is special and sacred, and then how some people break this wedlock. When you explain in to her in her childlike terms I think she will understand, it may take some time for healing, but let her know that the break up is not her fault.
---Eloy on 9/6/06|
Do you love your husband? Why did you resume your marriage relationship?
I agree with Pharisee, forgiving your husband would be a generously Christan act, and taking this woman and child to your heart would place you above rubies. I understand this would not be an easy decision for you. I am honest enough to admit that I don't know if I have a heart that big. God bless you.
Ps, do make sure that this is a child of your husband, that this woman is not trying to put one across you both.
---Margaret_Jocelyn_Mou on 9/5/06|
Sorry you're in this situation, Mary.
Do you love your husband? Does he love you? Does he want to remain in the marriage (not just in name)? Can you forgive him? How old is the child? Had you two been back together or not(your post didn't specify)?
Be clear that you don't have to divorce. If your spouse wants to remain married it's better to try to forgive than to do divorce. Still, this is your decision to make and we all pray that you will do what God wants for your family overall.
---AlwaysOn on 9/5/06|
I agree with Jay(in regard to your 10 year old), the other woman's child is also your husband's responsibility, but I would advise your husband to order a DNA test first. In regard to your decison to divorce, if you have kept yourself clean, you are free to remarry if your husband has broken your marriage vows. If you are clean, the choice is yours, be prayerful about it. --Mrs. Morgan
---Mrs._Morgan on 9/5/06|
No need to divorce.
A graceful repairation of your marriage in light of your hurt is much more commendable.
This is the best testimony for your ten year old, that because you believe in God, you won't allow yourself to be wrathful even though by all rights you could.
A step further!
Take this child and her Mother to be part of your family giving the love of Christ; "love covers a multitude of sin." Your actions will say 'I am a child of ________' you provide the answer.
---Pharisee on 9/5/06|