I Married In Haste
I married 6 months ago (arranged marriage) and I don't love my husband. Since he was working abroad we couldn't meet properly before marriage. I left my job, flew with him to a different country and now strongly feel that I married in haste to a wrong guy and desperately feel like moving out.
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---srs on 9/6/06
Helpful Blog Vote (10)
srs: (Part 1) I am wondering what culture you are from and what religion you do belong. Aside from that I am wondering how young are you. As I understand it, Westerners and those societies influenced by the call on "equality of men and women" would not venture into arranged marriages. Women of age have a say on whom to get married with. Are you mature enough to size up your role in your marriage?
---bebet3754 on 3/19/08|
SRS::You have come from a land where marriages are arranged,it is not one of love but Contract & RESPECT. 6 months is = to a drop of water in a full bucket which is a lifetime.Marriage & relationship is like a tree& how you nurture it with your womanly intuition.The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world ie her world.Prayer obedience & sharing are the keys to this lock of life.The rust will only take place if you let it.Do not breed hate as it is destructive & associated with a satanic force.
---Emcee on 6/12/07|
In the Bible, love has nothing to do with marriage. It's the FRUIT of marriage, and not its reason--because marriages were arranged.
What does apply here is the virtue of Justice, which means you KEEP YOUR PROMISES once made.
I'm willing to bet, however, that the culture shock of living in a different country is what's putting the big strain on your marriage, and you're confusing homesickness and dislike of your surroundings with your feelings for your husband.
---Jack on 6/12/07|
you may not have married mr right, but when you said 'i do' he became mr right
---r.w. on 11/18/06|
You need to seek godly counsel from a pastor or biblical counselor. You must answer the question, "Are you willing to do what God wants or what you want?" Your answer to that question will say a lot about your relationship with the Lord. May God help you to make a Christ-centered decision and not a self-centered decision.
---Mark on 10/16/06|
Moving out wouldn't solve the issue, stand firm,the bible state? what God has join together let no one put asunder, yes the marriage may be tough but stick to the love of calvary that supercide all kind of love. let the purpose while you are in that man's life be fulfile you can make a change. SMILE at all time remember the love of CHRIST
---manex on 10/4/06|
No one tells you that you don't have choices. That's how you got there!
Love is not adequate alone as a feeling. Feelings change. Love has to be a decision or anything that depends on love will fail.
Slow down and give it a shot where you are, ask yourself when feelings overwhelm your mind "am I reacting in flesh or choosing to love?" If you force yourself to respond in love you'll find that a mutual love can grow between you and soon leaving might be the last thing to consider.
---Pharisee on 9/7/06|
**As to Jack, love should be the fruit of your marriage. Although I have a different view regarding marriage.**
I'm just pointing out what the view regarding marriage was in the Bible, and in the culture that produced it.
---Jack on 9/7/06|
srs, so many changes in a short time must be difficult, even fightening at times. We all wish to have loving relationships, God created us with the need to love and be loved. Your honesty is good, take it to the Lord, let Jesus be # 1 and He WILL see you through. He is Love and we love because He first loved us. Just bask in His presence. Bless you sister.
---Christina on 9/7/06|
I feel sad that your marriage is not what you hoped it would be. Is your husband mistreating you in any way or is there any abuse? Do you feel that your husband loves you? Why did you agree to an arranged marriage?
---Mrs._Williams on 9/6/06|
Love is something we do, and then we feel it. If you feel it first,it isn't love but infatuation and this is the reason of failure in many marriages. Jack is right. Biblical marriages were arranged and people were commanded to love eachother. I believe if you will do that, the love feeling you desire will be the fruit.
---john on 9/6/06|
srs: (Part 2) If you consented to this type of marriage arrangement,then I would agree with Jack regarding your part in the contract. Stick to it and let the marriage bear fruit. As to Jack, love should be the fruit of your marriage. Although I have a different view regarding marriage.
---bebet3754 on 9/6/06|