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Can I Divorce Faking Husband

My husband and,I been married 20 years. He has decided that he does not want to be home everyday and refuses to be a part of the family. I don't think that he is a Christian as he has told me he never wanted to be married or serve God. He told me he faked the whole thing. Can I divorce?

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 ---Lisa on 9/25/06
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Can a pastor fake being a pastor? I think so.
Some are sent and some just went.
Can a husband fake being a husband? I think so.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.
---Cindy on 3/3/08

Something wrong here! It reads like you need more than just a personal opinion. Try to get some professional counseling for both of you and a complete medical check-up for your husband. By-the-way, unless he has committed adultery, can not see how you can justify a divorce. (Would stongly suggest seperation if there is physical abuse envolved and don't return until AFTER he has finished counseling.)
---wivv on 3/3/08

Father, I pray for this situation,you are aware of all of the facts, & know what needs to happen, please give your guidance for both persons, and touch the family, everyone hurts when things are not right, esp. the children. Perhaps this marriage did not start off right, but, 20 years should account for something. Please allow an extra measure of grace to bring healing and reconcilliation, soften hard hearts, and allow forgiveness to come, bring back the beauty that was once there, In Jesus Name, Amen
---Gayla on 6/24/07

Sometimes we like to twist ideas and justify things so that we can do what it is that we want to do. It seems that you want to divorce this man and are looking to justify divorce with option to remarry (ie he faked being a christian). It is sad that you are so miserable but noone can advise you to divorce him. You need the approval of God and only you know about that. Stay in prayer about the situation. My heart cries for you. May Christ lead and comfort you.
---jody on 6/24/07

**he has told me he never wanted to be married**
Lisa, I really doubt that yours was a shotgun wedding, or that your husband was somehow coerced into marrying you.
Obviously, there's something else that's going on here. Have you 2 consindered a counsellor?
---Jack on 6/24/07

go do a search divorce hope i did and i was surprised at what i learned about the true meaning of scripture

blesSings to you in CHRIST
---gail on 2/23/07

Hi Lisa, I know this is a trying time and there are so many is God's will you need to seek, actually seek HIM, He knows your heart, your pain, your childrens pain, and it is HE alone who is able. You mentioned you are getting counseling, is it christian, with a pastor, or secular? This is key, since whatever counsel we get can confuse if not of the Lord. BLESS YOU BLESS YOU BLESS YOU
---Christina on 10/1/06

he REFUSES counselling. I have went by myself so far. I have noticed that he started cutting me off when I refused to continue being trested bad by his family and stood up for myself, when he refused. I cut them off, ever since I have been punished for not allowing them to do "whatever" they choose to me. I just feel trapped
---lisa on 9/30/06

It's true the Bible says that if an unbeliever wants to leave, let them go, or if adultery is committed the victim is free to leave. Yet permissive, is it beneficial? I would encourage you to seek out the Lord's help. God can work wonders if our hearts are teachable. He can change both of your hearts and teach you to love one another with his love. Seek Him out. He is not far from you. Trust in God, he is faithful.
---Kate on 9/26/06

Jack: You are right, it takes two to tango. I just know that Lisa's post could have been mine six years ago, and my husband left me a few months later.
Lisa: Start praying for your husband and your marriage. "The Power of a Praying Wife" is a terrific book to help you pray for him.
---Madison1101 on 9/26/06

Lisa, you say you've been married 20 years. How long has this problem been going on? Does he say why he does not want to be with family? If faked all those years, were you happy for any of that time, did he seem happy? Questions are to understand better so as to be in a better position to help. Go to Jesus first and foremost, He knows what we do not. Don't make a hasty decision in something as serious as divorce without knowing God's will. May God bless and comfort you in this time and be your strength.
---Christina on 9/26/06

he has said that he does nt want to be held accountable for anything and live right, that he did "all this" for the kids and me.I don't know if he has commited adultry or not,but he is gone for weeks at a time. He nevr gave impression before, but now...
---lisa on 9/26/06

well it was a shotgun, I was pregnant at 18. we have 5 altogether, 4 grown, 1 left. My husband is an over the road driver, I have had the responsibility of the family for years. We have had much, much trouble with his family, and I have suffered much abuse from them, while my husband sat by idle, which caused much strife with us. He NEVER took leadership in the home and our childresn are amok. I have asked for couselling, he refuses, says that he knows what he needs to do, but he does not want to.
---lisa on 9/26/06

**There is something wrong with your husband.**
My observation has taught me that it takes two to tango. I'm not putting you under condemnation, but I can't help wondering what your husband would say if he and I were having this conversation.
That's why I say you need to go TOGETHER.
---Jack on 9/25/06

2.) You cannot compromise God's clear instructions on divorce because of affliction, but You can pray for deliverance, and He could make him become convicted and sublime, otherwise wait till your husband indulges in adultery...but remember, you still have to give your husband all your love and your prayers while you are still with him.
---Okebaram on 9/25/06

No, Lisa. You cannot divorce him because of that. I know Tony's response sounds apetising but remember that God himself puts up with suffering (He's longsuffering)for the sake of Justice, that's why He lets the sun shine on the good and evil. Cont'd...
---Okebaram on 9/25/06

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I agree with the suggestions for marital therapy. There is something wrong with your husband. Regardless, you do not have Biblical grounds for divorce.
---Madison1101 on 9/25/06

You could divorce him if he is not a Christian and wants to go, let him go. Although God hates divorce, He does not want his children to be miserable. I pray that God gives you the wisdom and direction in this matter.
---Tony on 9/25/06

You could divorce him if none of those things are true, but Jesus told us whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Think about creation when Adam sinned, why didn't God scrap the whole thing? It'sd because he wanted you and your family to be called to his truth.
Abandon this thought, press on believing in God's provision, and joy will come to you.
Don't quit.
---Pharisee on 9/25/06

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