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Husband Wants Dirty Talk

My husband has commented that he wants me to talk dirty to him while we are intimate. Is this a sin?

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 ---ashley on 10/3/06
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People need to remember God is holy. He said, "Be thou holy, for I am holy." Matthew 12:37 Jesus Christ said, "For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned." Ephesians 4:22-24 "That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceiful lusts, And be renewed in the spirit of your mind, And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness."
---Betty on 6/1/09

Proverbs 4:24 Put away perversity from your mouth, keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

This is sometimes NOT the case, but I have seen a correlation between men who see nothing wrong with the filthy defiling language they use with their partners and a likelyhood of them being unfaithful,cheating or ending up divorced or remarried several times. They live as adulterers in one sense or another either during the marriage or by divorcing and remarrying which is also adultery. Many of these are jaded or defiled in other areas of life as well. This is not always the case, there are men who are faithful and have integrity. Just my observation.
---wal_rev on 5/30/09

Some of you sound like a bunch of little school age kids just beginning in the field of love and romance. For goodness sake!! Maybe you'd better ask the Lord what's right and good when it comes to the bedroom. Why would you want to be on here talking about issues like this with people you hardly know except through blogs?
---kandee on 5/30/09

1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Incontinency is temptation's dominion over one. So, how does one defeat such dominion?

The purpose of marriage, outside of procreation, is to avoid fornication. Sin results from uncontroled temptation. When one steps outside of the marriage through one's incontinency, sin is the result. Yet within marriage, a spouse provides power over such incontinency and any consequent sin.
---BruceB on 3/28/09

Alan why ever not especially if I could rub out his smutty remarks and make the page clean!
---Carla3939 on 3/27/09


I am speaking from experience, my hubby would never ask me to speak dirty to him he don't need to and am I flattered, I sure am, especially just after having a baby, so in comparison to this smutty talk. My point really is I believe there are other connotations to it other than just wanting her to talk smut, I merely suggested your husbands should only need you to make them love you in the privacy of the bedroom, not filth talk sorry if I offended you I do apologise truly I do.


---Carla3939 on 3/27/09

It's your husband. There is nothing wrong with talking dirty to each other. It's your spouse God has blessed you with to act out with.
---Ben on 3/20/09

Tell your husband you are a lady and you are go to act like one .Do you belive this would be pleasing to God ?No
---BETTY on 3/1/09

Carla ... Would you dress up in rubber?

If that is what he wanted?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/27/09

carla- I don't think you are nice.
---Betty on 2/27/09

I think we all know the kind of dirty words this woman is talking about the type that would cause someone to be aroused that possibly ain't something she would normally do hence the question and No sweetheart,It really is not necessary to talk dirt in the bedroom, but hey if you need to arouse your hubby in the first place there no reason why you can't dress up for him, he's possibly thinking very hard about it and needs to be a bit more sensitive in asking how to serve his needs I thought every man aroused at the sight of their wives mine certainly does!

I'm beginning to need some help getting him to pipe down a little.
---Carla3939 on 2/27/09

There are serious aspects to this issue ... what I think are sometimes unjust condemnation of people in different cultures. For example, consider the forcing by early missionaries of dress codes suitable for temperate climes onto natives of tropical areas.

But there is room for amusement (and improvement in knoweledge and understanding of others) in looking at the differences between countries' word useage (and spellings!) ... "po" in UK useage would refer to "pot"
---alan_of_UK on 2/24/09

Alan of Uk :-Po faced would suggest Poker faced in this region of the hemisphere, which would be similar to your wording.But enough on rear ends.We need to uplift our thoughts and eyes to focus on something more benificial to our spiritual well being.
---MIC on 2/24/09

Mic We say rear-ended of car accidents as well, but taht is because oe car runs intoi the back of another. I've never heard the term apply to a human!

But what you say tends to support what I suggest. There are so many words for that art of us. Some of them in my culture & time are acceptable in the best society. But it could be different in your society a third of the way round the world.

I am sure the words are not intrinsically good or bad, it is the way they are used, the reason, whether they are used to cause offense ... all sorts of issues.

When outsiders judge things bad, it is usually because of their own backgrounds and prejudices
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/24/09

Mic ... You mention "Sunday-faced"

We have term "po-faced" for those who never smile.

There seems to be a connection there?

---alan8566_of_UK on 2/24/09

Alan of Uk:- In Canada they say "Rear end-ed" even applicable in Car accidents.Ha Ha "sit me down", "behind" even 'Sunday face'dont ask me why? but these are just a few well washed words.The dictionary says Buttocks or Rump.
---MIC on 2/23/09

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Miche ... I used the word posterior because it is a sort of technical word, which by no remote stretch of the imagination could be regarded as inappropriate or dirty.

But maybe in Canada it is.

What word would you use for that part of the anatomy.

I suppose "sit-upon" may be OK, but I have seen even that frowned on!

Ny point was that word come in an out of fashion, and in and out of the politeness stakes.

If one needs to refer to that part of the body, it is not idle, whatever word you use.

It has been used here very seriously in the debate about spanking ... yet a word has been used there which is not quite acceptable in this country
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/23/09

Alan of Uk:-Dirty means "soiled by dirt- unclean"Hence in MHO it is inappropriate.If inappropriate, is wrong.As you have defined there are many words,for the same area which you indicate but yet use Posterior to explain.You end with what does God think about it My answer is "And every idle word a man shall speak he will render an account of it on the day of judgement " this is what I believe, & what we are taught.The biblical word is Fornication, do you think that is a mite trite?
---MIC on 2/22/09

In marriage, the bible teaches that "the bed" is "undefiled" and no man can put a married couple "asunder". This is really noones business and any advise you recieve is going to be very opinionated and mute. What matters is what you think and feel. If "talking dirty" spoils your intimacy for you, then you don't need to engage in it. Personally, it would spoil it for me:). Just talk to your husband regarding your feelings about it and make a decision that is right for you and him. What a person does in faith is not sin but if you do not have faith for this behavior, then it is sin.
---jody on 2/21/09

MIC Are you suggesting that those words were always wrong, even when they were the only ones available?

Or that they have become wrong in our time or for our culture?

In two hundred years time, our acceptable words will have become unacceptable, and maybe the old words will be OK again.

Or should we not make any verbal reference to that activity?

Maybe you can tell us what makes a word "dirty"?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/21/09

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If Mod will alow a continuation ... Thanks Mod!

MIC When I was young, the only acceptable word for one's posterior was "seat"

My father was horrified when (having heard the word at school) I said "bottom"

There are now "b--" which I have often heard used by Christian people, and "a---" which is in common use in all society.

And here, on the spankings blog, there is frequesnt use of the word "butt" That, like the other two, would have been totally unacceptable in my youth.

But am I purer because I do not use those words? What does God think about it, I wonder?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/21/09

See I have a problem with that statement because, I was always taught by my mum what is done in the home will come out abroad.

Not literally but I happen to believe that language like that is ignorant, If you must ask and further more What Pastor would keep his swear words for the bedroom only, and not for the pulpit is that not hypocrisy since what he might tell his wife could easily be.

Darling I'd love to make love to you tonight wouldn't be said from the pulpit but if one walked in on his conversation and he said it like that you might be a little bit embarrassed possibly even say what a saucy little devil, but hearing your suggestion would raise a few eye lids!
---Carla3939 on 2/21/09

Alan of UK:-"They were in use centuries ago,and have now been superceded"Are we living centuries ago?Has the world advanced ? or are we at a standstill.I thought the age of disbelief had passed and we were on the road to Perfection?Perfection in what? Thought word and deed or "Dirty talk". It is a matter of choice.It does take all kinds to make a world including those For and against,to which I know you are against.
---MIC on 2/20/09

Carla ... what is your definition of a "dirty word"?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/20/09

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My first response wasn't posted but I posted on the same lines as mic,

However it is second rated when it takes more than one person to say basically the same thing then find your response not posted then there after there is no inhabitation.

One can discern the mind of the person that edit the responses, in that they agree with dirty words being allowed in the constraints of marriage until scripture is upheld and the true responses of censorship of conversation is agreed certain opinions even with scriptures were edited WHY?
---Carla3939 on 2/20/09

MIC ... It is not I who is turning this into a controversy.
Do words suddenly become "wrong"? They were in normal use centuries ago, and have since been superceded ... Why should that made them wrong now?

"I am going to wash my hands", or "leak" are in common use now ... But in two centuries times they may be regarded as rude in public, and words now consided rude may have returned to everyday use.

Betty ... to follow your argument ... "make love" means something "nasty"
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/20/09

Alan of Uk :- I do not desire to turn this into a contraversy. But what is wrong is wrong irregardless of its origin amd as we endeavour to improve ourselves Its usage and relevant thoughts make it disrespectful.inappropriate and in some circles Disgusting .
---MIC on 2/19/09

Alan- The way words are perceived is what makes them dirty. God said He will judge us by our idle words. Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth...." 1Peter 1:15 "But as He which has called you is holy, so you be holy in all manner of conversation." 1Peter 3:2 "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear...." About the develoment of languages: the words still meant something nasty.
---Betty on 2/19/09

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Mic ... I would not use the word myself, because to me it is inappropriate.

But remember the development of the English language, which is made up of many languages gradually becominmg what we have now.

Those words were once the normal words used. But over the years were replaced by others from incoming languages, and then they have become regarded firstly as unfashionable, and then as improper.

It is only these changes that have made them into swear words
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/19/09

Alan of UK:-"I would not use such words to my wife" But yet you say "Between spouses not in public"The English language is broad and varied to express ones desires eloquently, so why do we even want to resort to slang or words inappropriate for an act of devotion.One can tell a gentleman by his speech.I know you are not of the habitin such 'dirty profanity' But couldnt help noticing your comment.The bottom line is would you use it in the presence of Jesus?who is the silent listener at every conversation?
---MIC on 2/18/09

Betty & others ... What makes a word dirty?

Bluntly ... What is the difference between "I want to make love to you" and "I want to ******** you"?

Why is one dirty and the other not?

I mean between spouses, not in public.
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/18/09

Yes. God is present everywhere at all times. The Lord wants people to be clean in their speech as well as their conduct. By our words we shall be justified and by our words condemned. People will give account of every idle word that they speak. Matthew 12:36: Jesus said, "But I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." Men and women think that God does not hear what they say, but He does.
---Betty on 2/18/09

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Lol, no I don't think it is sinful but it would depend exactly what was said and where it was leading to. Many people who are close to the truth, not even Christians, who love humanity, have bad habits of speech. Some really good Christians I know use the F word. We are living in such awful times that actions and heart is what counts, not words. As for a bit of dirty talk between husband and wife, for fun, no I don't think it will have much effect on your eternal salvation....but please make your own mind up.
---frances008 on 2/15/09

Keep a good amount of mud handy and when the time arrives go and get muddy with it. You'll be talking dirty for sure. Or you could get dirty with maple or chocolate syrup, only make sure there are no ants nearby!
---Nana on 2/14/09

If you are uncomfortable with talking "dirty", then no matter what, if he is a man of God, I can't imagine why he would even ask that, that doesn't seem to be holy, but regardless, he should respect you and not expect that from you. I wonder if he is even saved? It does depend what he wants you to actually say, if he just wants you to be more verbal, maybe you need to ask him exactly what "dirty "means? As long as there is no profanity, and there isn't any kind of perversion, then he may just want you to express yourself, but like I said, if you don't want to, then if he is a gentleman, he will not force the issue, unless he has issues.
---janine on 2/12/09

Mary did not "endure" dirty talk. Joseph was commanded by GOD not to touch her while she was pregnant with Jesus.
What ever happend after Jesus birth between Mary and Joseph is just that... between them and God.
---miche3754 on 2/10/09

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wonder how much "dirty talk" MARY had to listen to. being filled with the sprit of the lord i dont think the lord would want to hear such things. Sounds to me there may be a demon sneaking into a marriage. For those of you saying whatever goes on in a married bedroom is ok should get on there knees and ask for forgiveness. A marriage and togetherness in a bedroom is a beuitful thing not a DIRTY thing. The two most diffantly collide. REMEMBER THIS, IF IT DOES NOT GLORIFY THE LORD IT GLORIFIES SATAN. Does dirty talk glorifies the lord?1? I think not..there is your answer, simple as that. Sorry for all the miss spelled words, May the lord bless you all and lets pray that the devil is not the winner in this one. Take care
---robert on 2/6/09

I used to attend a fundamentalist Bible church. The pastor's wife hosted a "naughty nighty" party for the married women where they could purchase all kinds of extremely racy lingerie and dress up costumes. The title of the party kind of threw me, but they emphasized that anything that can spice up a marriage is a good thing. Not sure I agree, but I would not use the word "naughty" for attire worn in the privacy of a married home.
---obewan on 2/6/09

In 1 Peter 3 Peter talks about the relationship between husband and wife. He says in verse 8 To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit. I think he should honor your position on the matter. We must remember that scripture says that we are to conform to the image of Jesus and live by the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Its a decision you have to make, but in my opinion if you are uncomfortable with the situation and he loves you, he should respect your position. Dirty talk doen't seem appropriate for a christian marriage.
---Bob on 2/5/09

It is filthy, so it is a sin. Plus, your husband has a problem in that area. He should seek help.
---catherine on 2/4/09
Since we do not know what he said or asked for and since this is not the place to discuss it, we need to be careful not to pass judgement on him. There are many things married people can do with each other that are not discussed in polite company and they are not sinful. However, if they are discussed outside the privacy of that marriage they might be classified "dirty" talk.
---obewan on 2/5/09

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It is filthy, so it is a sin. Plus, your husband has a problem in that area. He should seek help.
---catherine on 2/4/09


I trust that you read

It depends on what he wants her to say I suppose. I mean if he wants her to tell him things she wants him to do to her, then I don't see how the word "dirty" applies. I mean, they are married after all. I take it to mean he just wants her to be more verbal during their lovemaking.
---obewan on 2/4/09

don't it work so much easier than pushing the bull up a steep hill!
---Carla5754 on 2/4/09

It depends on what he wants her to say I suppose. I mean if he wants her to tell him things she wants him to do to her, then I don't see how the word "dirty" applies. I mean, they are married after all. I take it to mean he just wants her to be more verbal during their lovemaking.
---obewan on 2/4/09

Know this... if he has to have that, then there are other issues as well. beware...
---wayne on 2/3/09

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I ain't no prude but there are certain things of the world that I would not entertain or advocate that Christians entertain in marriage........ Ya'll know I have a true story ot two for my persistance!
---Carla5754 on 2/3/09

God says the marriage bed is undefiled.

That means that what goes on between husband and wife in the bedroom, is not sinful, no matter what they do for each other.

Personally, I don't believe she should have asked the question here. She should have went to one of her elder sisters in Christ.

Sister, the word says submit to your husband and he submit to you. The only time you aren't is when fasting and praying.

Increase the intimacy between you and your husband. And have fun and enjoy each other.
~God Bless you~
---miche3754 on 2/1/09

I don't want to know, but what is dirty talk?
That's a rhetorical question.

Hebrews says the marriage bed is undefiled. Do what you want between married partners.

Joe Beam has some good marriage advise on this topic. You can find him by searching the internet. Maybe we would have less divorces if we learned to meet our partners needs, not only in bed.

If you are uncomfortable, talk about it with him. Intimacy is created by talking about it. Tough sometimes.
---Rod on 2/1/09

What has God said to you. I think there are things I can do but other feel are wrong and try to tell me that I am wrong but God hasn't told me that. I think we need to test all things by God it is sometimes good to seek advice, but who's advice is above God's.

Sorry if that is harsh but God will come in love to us where we judge each others actions. Tell God how you feel and He will listen and then help in those feelings. God is a of love and anger but does all things in love not anger or Judgement.

Romans 14:1-12
---William on 2/1/09

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Most of these "dirty" words are good Olde AngloSaxon!

So what is wrong with their use if they don't cause offense to those who hear them?

But if Asheley does not like it, her husband should honour her wishes.

I certainly would not have used such language with my late wife.
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/1/09

No talk about the dirty linen, dirty dishes, dirty garden, dirty windows hey!

not forgetting his dirty mind!


All through the blood, women are to teach other women how to love their husbands husbamds are to love their wives as Christ Loved the church, he didn't have to speak dirty to it!!!!

Renewing the mind come to think of it is another place to start, how do you know Oh wife, that by your conversation you may not help your husband to salvation.
---Carla5754 on 2/1/09

it is not a sin... it is only a sin if he forces you and you feel uncomfortable. if you don't want to then just tell him... yall are married and there needs to be an open comunication in the bedroom...
---Moni on 1/30/09

What is important here is what God,through the Bible says.Our sin nature is very good at rationalizing all the wrong we do,especially if it is pleasurable.If we are not to conform to the ways of the world,we must not allow filty talk between us,even husband and wife.
---save_by_grace on 11/5/07

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If a person really loves his wife he may love her in the flesh or a worldly way.Pray that they have fellowship and a church praying for them. One of the reasons people are sinning is a lack of fellowship and no prayer and few friends.Satan then comes into our thoughts then he starts a fire.Christ will put out the fire that leads us to sin. If we go on sinning then God will seperate us from the tree of life,we must speak to our wifes as the congergation of the church.
---save_by_grace on 11/4/07

so doug you say to divorce him if he persist. hm, let's see the word says that marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, taken in context this of course doesn't mean you should watch dirty movies or have outside company but it does mean that what goes on between the husband and the wife is honorable as long as its between husband and wife. but what does Jesus say about divorce, only if its for the cause of adultery.
---evangelistjerry on 10/31/07

Idon't think its a sin its between you and your husband very personal .
---mary on 10/31/07

Eph 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
---Michelle on 10/30/07

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Is it a sin?
---Ally on 10/30/07

Let the word "Dirty" be your guide.
And if you have to ask then 99 times out of 100 it is a sin. If he insisted on it, I would divorce him, he sounds perverted, and that will effect your spirituality. Thumbs down, it is a big sin.
---Doug on 10/22/07

Ashley, David talked OT dirty in the Bible. It is not a sin unless you are speaking it to someone who is not your husband. Otherwise have fun with it and you might have a good time too.
---lorra8574 on 10/19/07

Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things, Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity, so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whoe body, and setteth on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire of hell. For every
---Whisper on 10/19/07

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PT 2. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind, But the tongue can no man tame, it is an unruly evil, FULL OF DEADLY POISON. James 3.

Is your Holy Spirit grieving inside of you, Do not grieve Him further. Simply say no. Guard your heart carefully and LET NO MAN STEAL YOUR CROWN.
---Whisper on 10/19/07

Your marriage bed is just that...YOUR marriage bed. If what he is asking you is soemthing you find repulsive then explain to him why you think so and try to understand his point of view. Healthy sexual relationships involve give and take. Exploring desires and feelings in a safe environment with your husband or wife is a healthy part of marriage and I would be flattered that your husband trusts you enough to tell you of his desires.
---robin on 10/19/07

Instead of Plucking out ONE verse from Thirty-Nine, the Proper Context of Matt. 15 is Condemnation of FALSE TEACHINGS that Proceed from the mouths of those who Conjure-up and teach their 'Traditions' In the Place of God's Whole and Perfect Truth. The Pick-N-Choose method is what creates all the Horrendous Divisions of the many Differing so-called 'Christian' churches of America. Such Atrocity should Not be!
---JoeMcDaniel on 9/14/07

If he is a Christian you might ask him if he has read Matthew 15:18 "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
---denna7667 on 9/13/07

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'Dirty Words' are NOT 'Cursing', neither is there mention of such in GOD'S WORD. Self-Righteous People Pick and Choose CERTAIN words to be 'Dirty' in THEIR OWN OPINION! As Christ Condemns TRADITIONS OF MAN, I don't adhere to such Traditions, therefore, 'Dirty Words' are ONLY IMAGINARY, and NOT FACTUAL. I PRAY in the Native Language of my Arkansas Delta Cotton Patch raisings, and I've yet to find GOD 'Offended' by the Wording of my Prayers. Why try to switch 'Words', when God Knows our every 'Thought'?
---BoldnessInChrist on 9/13/07

Doubt if it's a sin, but it IS personal!
---sue on 8/15/07

Your husband's love for his own wife is a wonderful thing and any expression of it, even if it might seem crass, is within the holy confines of marriage and is proper. However, communications between a husband and wife should always remain confidential - only you, your husband, and G-d should know. Your willingness to be your husband's own Judas is the real sin here. You picked him, warts and all, so I think you should just deal.
---steve on 8/15/07

Ashley: My heart goes out to you. Its men like this I have feared all of my life. What's for you next on his agenda? Why can't he be satisfied with love talk instead of dirty talk. That's messed up. I would be very concerned if it were me. His psyche is twisted up somewhere.
---Robyn on 8/14/07

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Check That Fruit!

I would imagine its a Demonic Spirit speaking because that fruit does not come from the Holy Spirit.
---Marcia on 8/14/07

Stick a bar of soap in his mouth.
---R.A. on 8/14/07

It's a personal choice.

---Reiter on 11/4/06

To me dirty talk in the bedroom is the #1 turn off I can think of. A person would need to ask themselves "would I say that if Jesus was standing in the room with us?" No, I don't think they would, if they're truly a dedicated Christian.
---Norma7374 on 11/3/06

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Jared, I respect you for respecting your wife. There is more poetic language than vulgar four lettered words. It has been my recent goal to eliminate them from my vocabulary. Sometimes I slip. Sometimes a four lettered word comes out in my poetry. But, I never demand perfection from myself.

---Reiter on 11/3/06

If it makes you uncomfortable then he shouldn't (but why does he want to talk dirty? there might be some sinful influences in his life)

Personally I respect my wife and would not talk "dirty" to her because that makes intimacy look sinful or wrong and physical intamcy in marriage is a gift are really wonderful gift. I would not talk in harsh or vulgar language with people I respect or want respect from.
---Jared on 11/1/06

Everything is acceptable in Marriage,
but not everything is Desirable.

---Reiter on 10/30/06

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