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Should I Pursue This Man

Prayed for God to send me a man to love, that would love me. BL entered my life & did fall in love w/me. Communicated for 2 months, made plans to meet, he cancelled, now is ignoring me, been 3 months. Should I keep pursuing? I know God sent him.

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 ---ljt on 12/9/06
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I know a woman who ever since the death of her husband just KNEW that every man who was nice to her was JUST the man God wanted her to marry.

As you might be able to guess, she's a VERY unhappy person.

If BL has ignored you for 3 months, don't you think that HE (if not God) might be trying to tell you something?

If he truly fell in love with you, would he be treating you this way?

Be realistic and reasonable.
---Jack on 3/20/08

Thanks again Susie---I know I am a huge control freak, something I am learning to deal with in therapy. It is difficult trying to change life-long habits.
---ljt on 12/16/06

It seems as though you have left him with enough information to make a decision about what he wants to do.
If he does not call you, ask the Lord to take your feelings for him away. Be content knowing you have done all you could/should under the circumstances.
---lynet on 12/15/06

You're welcome! As a former control freak, I appreciate your situation. Just let God have it!
---Susie on 12/15/06

Thanks Susie---I wanted to start the New Year right. This is giving it to God, right? When I am not trying to make something happen? I guess I am looking for reassurance that I am doing the right thing.
---ljt on 12/15/06

Yes! Let that be the last communication between you two unless he answers the email.
---Susie on 12/15/06

Checked him out and he has an impeccable record. I did send an email today. Said I still love him just as much but can't keep up a one-sided relationship. I said if he wanted to do something about it, he knew how to reach me. Any comments?
---ljt on 12/14/06

I had that very thing happen to me also. A schoolmate came back into my life and wanted a relationship. However, I found his picture on the sexual offender database. Check this guy out!
---Susie on 12/14/06

Susie--thanks. Even though I actually have only "known" my friend 2 months---here is how our lives have crossed---we went to 6th grade camp together (i knew his name thats it), went all through jr. high, high school together, never actually knowing each other, but knew each others name, now 35 years later here we are. See why I think there is a purpose here? Im so confused.
---ljt on 12/13/06

I knew that he was the one the Lord wanted for me. And a lot of other people knew it too. He just wanted to make sure it was God's will. He had told the Lord that if I was the one, I would ask him to marry me. I would have never done that, but God put the circumstances so that we discussed marriage and I told him that there was nobody else that I would ever want to marry besides him. He asked if I was asking him to marry me, and I told him I guess I was. So, that's how we ended up getting married.
---Susie on 12/13/06

Please understand that my husband and I were friends and ministered together for those four years before the Lord put us together. This was not someone that I just casually knew for two months. Please be patient and God will bring the right man into your life. God has the perfect husband for you. Let Him do the finding.
---Susie on 12/13/06

GOD says that we are to put HIM first in all things and HE shall add all things unto you. And if we believe in our hearts that what we pray for we recieve we will have it. GOD put a very wonderful lady in my life that i prayed for many times. HE never fails us nor does HE leave us behind any thing. i pray with you on the things you need.
---ghost on 12/13/06

It is so easy to confuse our wants and needs with what God has for us. If it is God's will things will work out. But we have to be very careful not to insert our will in His place. God will bring about his desires in His time. And personally if a man has not responded in 3 months, he is not interested and do you want that kind of situation if he did happen to respond again? Dana9769
---Dana on 12/13/06

ljt::In reality the man is the hunter & the fairer trophy for want of a better word is the reward.Some men believe the thrill of the hunt is in the chase.These are the men who should be avoided.Because after getting the reward its just another trophy hanging on the wall.Some men love just one trophy & look at her with adoring eyes as if to say "You are mine"Others gather a few which is TOO many.
---Emcee on 12/12/06

Men pursue women and run away from women who pursue them. It may seem old fashioned but it is biblical
---Katuku on 12/12/06

Susie---When you were "pursuing" your husband, before you were married were you calling him or seeing him? Did you feel that God had sent him to you and it just wasn't His timing?
---ljt on 12/12/06

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If he has ignored you that long it is time to forget him and move on. If he did decide to come back and it worked out for a while, how long before he would do this again. Do you really want to live with that kind of emotional roller coaster? Believe me, it isn't worth it! God wants what is best for you and I can't believe this guy would be it.
---Angela on 12/12/06

As the Word of God clearly says, seek first his kingdom and His righteousness and of these things shall be added to you including your hearts desire. Don't allow yourself to run after which you are not sure it is God's will. Wait for His right time and right man you will never regret.
---hannah on 12/12/06

I "pursued" my present husband for four years. Then I left him alone for a year. The first thing he said when we saw each other after a year was "Why haven't you called me or anything?" I said, "Why haven't you called me?" I was through pursuing. He had enjoyed me (and other women) pursuing him. But, in the end God put it together and we were married a few weeks after that and are ministers together for the Lord.
---Susie on 12/12/06

I have friends who pursued men they thought were sent by God and they were sadly disappointed. In some cases, they were taken to the cleaners financially. Many of them were just being used sexually. You need to spend a lot of quality time getting to know anyone that you are thinking of marrying. And, that time should be spent out of the bedroom. In fact, my husband and I waited until we were married for that. That's the Christian thing to do.
---Susie on 12/12/06

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ljt::Pray for "His will be done"& be prepared to accept it Blessings I also prayed for a partner & got one she has since gone to her eternal rest
---Emcee on 12/12/06

ljt::Pray for "His will be done"& be prepared to accept it Blessings I also prayed for a partner & got one she has since gone to her eternal rest
---Emcee on 12/12/06

Emcee, you are so right,it is unfortunate that this is so often true, but such forthrightness as yours is needed. I've been in such a situation myself, and it IS painful. In the event that such is not the case however, and there was some genuine relationship, I agree with Jeanne, although hurtful, to be upfront with a person is much more kind.
---Christina on 12/12/06

How do you know God sent him?? I thought once this man was God sent and ended being sexually assalted. Was this from God?? NO, it was somthing I wanted. Search and pray. Search and Pray some more.
---mary on 12/11/06

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I'm really trying to be strong about this situation. He's the first man I've had a relationship with in 25 yrs. I've never had God answer a prayer so directly & that's the confusing part. How or what should I pray for? Him? Me?
---ljt on 12/11/06

No clearly he is giving you a hint and probably not wanting to hurt your feelings. Most of us male/female would prefer a person just saying hey I am not interested in you in that way but a lot dont do that. So I would move on, you dont want a man that doesnt want you any way right? You also dont want a man that U have to constantly pursue it is a two way street. Take it as a blessing no one wants to be stuck with the wrong person.
---Jeanne on 12/11/06

Yes it's hard Raine,
I asked for a response to a posting of several womens lists of 25-30 poems/letters he'd sent me. He stated he did not think he would be taken seriously since it was over the internet, obviously forgetting those he met.
My name was on a list of perhaps 300, I got emails from lot's of women seeking to form a bond to help cope, It was very difficult.
I know God is good, and I have'nt lost my desire for mate:)
---lynet on 12/11/06

No, I don't think you should pursue him. He just might have had what the call "cold feet," but since it's been 3 months I think you should move on. It would only be God's will if things worked out between you. He just might be trying to tell you something. Even though he is being a typical man.
---Norma7374 on 12/11/06

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Do not pursue this man! Wait until God puts a relationship together for you! He has just the right man for you. If God wants you with this man, he will make the circumstances so you have no doubt. Been there, done that!!!!
---Susie on 12/11/06

Lynet, my cousin tried computer dating. She met a 'minister' in person after a few weeks of communique. He told her that God had given him permission to sin...and they needed to get a room. He was a loon, but she kept after it until she found a man. They have married, but he is a compulsive gambler, closet alcoholic and verbally abusive. She insisted he was Mr. Right, and pride keeps her there. Desperate measures will bring you great heartache.
---Raine on 12/11/06

you know, sometimes we want something so badly, that we make ourselves believe that it is God's answere to our prayers,when in fact it is our own inner self wanting it so much. if this man has pulled away, there is a reason. thank god it didn't go any futher.
you know somtimes we have to thank god for unanswered prayers also. wait on the lord and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart. be careful above all, please guard your heart.
---patricia on 12/11/06

The Bible says when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing and receives favor of the LORD (Proverbs 18:22). Women should not be pursuing men. God knows what you need and when. Wait on Him. If this man was sent by God, you would ultimately know it. God will confirm everything by two or three witnesses. Sometimes we feel God did something because of our own fleshly desires to have what we want, when we want it. Remember; God is faithful, trust Him.
---Zelda on 12/11/06

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Someone fell in love with me too over the telephone. But it didn't work out when we met. He was a different person in person. Take this as it wasn't meant to be and God was protecting you from getting hurt further down the road. Seek someone in real life. God will bless you for waiting on HIM and HIS will alone. God Bless you.
---Donna9759 on 12/11/06

Ljt - I am sure that God did not send you someone who is going to ignore you! Sounds like you "met" over the internet. You just cannot tell who is who on the internet. It is much safer to meet people in person, such as at the church you attend. You should not pursue this person. Let them go and keep praying for the right one.
---Helen_5378 on 12/11/06

Me and over 200 women were wooed by a man parading as a minister promising marriage. He gave some rings, and got money, sex, gifts, trips, in Jesus name.
He was PROVEN a liar right on his fake church website, yet still tried to contact me. There were so many stories, women bought gowns, rented halls, prepared to move. Thank God, I did'nt lose anything but some time.
As good as a site like this can be, this type of man is everywhere. Pay attention red flags,
not folowing through is a BIG one ...,
---lynet on 12/10/06

We didn't meet on the Internet, but through a mutual friend. I have emailed him several times with no success. Mutual friend said this is very typical behavior for him. He's ignoring his other friends also. I went 25 years without dating, then I started asking God to send me someone and this is what I got. I don't know what to even pray for anymore.
---ljt on 12/10/06

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I think you met in the internet.I have friends telling me they are really meant for each other. Met in the internet, was about to marry, coming to see her, almost the same scenario. some became successeful in their quest for a true love in the internet.Some was just a game. Hope yours is not but ignoring you for 3 months is a clear meaning that he is not interested anymore.Be happy dont have to struggle the Lord will give the best partner just ask fr. Him.
---ana8864 on 12/10/06

I think, you should email him, let him know what he meant to you, but tell him now it's up to him. That you won't be pursuing him any longer. Leave the door open, but walk away. If he is the one God meant foryou he will follow.

It could be God sent him to you but not for the reason you think. Maybe he was just there for a rough patch. Or maybe it was to teach you that you can't depend on man - only on God.
---grace3869 on 12/10/06

God made woman to be loved cherished this is inbred in her, screaming out for fulfillment.Unscrupulous men knowing this seek out these unfortunate souls & destroy them.I am sorry if I am forthright, but this the reality of life seen by the number of different agencies who deal in this weakness.These are called
philanderers. Toying with anothers affection.
---Emcee on 12/10/06

I have to agree with Jack. You say you know God sent him. Do you know if God wants you to marry him? It would be very hard to do so if he ignores you. So God may very well have sent him but now is the time to let him go.
---Matthew on 12/10/06

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It sounds like from your blog that you never actually met one another.

How can you possibly really love someone you don't even know?

Have you ever heard the expression "in love with love"?
---Jack on 12/10/06

You know Jack---i never thought that God might be trying to tell me something through BL ignoring me. Thanks for that thought.
---Lorri on 12/10/06

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